NOTICE! I am a simpleton and have put the book parts into bold as one of my reviewers alerted that I forgot to do so. So, there you go!
Hello guys! Guess who's back with another update!? Me! I know it's a little late today... sorries.
I don't have much to say this top footnote besides answering the reviews so answer the reviews I must do.
Sistersgrimmfan-First, concerning your nickname, so am I! What are the odds? ;) I am really glad that you like this story and that it can make you laugh. Also, you were my first reviewer so you get the virtual trophy. Finally, this may sound weird but I love getting threats because it means the threatener really likes the story.
M-I am so glad! I was honestly really iffy about the last chapter because it was something new so I am really excited that it went over so well! And that my little story can make you, or anyone, laugh. Oh, and thank you.
beegirl9-I am super happy you liked it! And their meeting should be up pretty soon, either the chapter after this or the one after that, so keep reading. I wonder how her parents-cough, Henry, cough-are going to react when Puck tries to throw Sabrina into a pool...
Zay Zay-On the whole dying chicken bit, same. I couldn't sing if my literal life depended on it. I know! I cannot wait to make Sabrina and Puck super uncomfortable when they kissed. And have Daphne and Red... and the whole ensemble! I know, it's pretty late to be posting but today was crazy.
Aight, those are all the reviewers. So, now, onto the story! Hope y'all enjoy it!
P.S. I am such an imbecile. I forgot to say that Michael Buckley-the god that he is-owns Sisters Grimm and I own... pretty much nothing.
Previously on Nine Books and a Laptop:
And after the Johnsons had ordered pizza, the girls had slipped into the backseat of the delivery boy's car and were miles away before he even noticed them. Mrs. Grimm was no different than any of the other lunatics they had run away from. Eventually, Daphne would understand.
"I kept calling you a snot in my head," Daphne commented.
When they were dressed and packed, Sabrina slowly opened the door and looked out into the hallway. It was empty-and as the two girls crept out with their tiny suitcases, she used her skills to the fullest. They tiptoed down the stairs, being careful to step close to the wall to avoid making them creak.
...
"Impossible," Henry interjected.
"Well, it was mostly quiet."
At the bottom, Sabrina slowly opened the closet door so the latch wouldn't click and the stack of books inside wouldn't fall over and wake the house. She snatched their coats and the girls put them on, then walked to the front door. Sabrina was just thinking that this was the easiest escape they had ever made when she tried to turn the knob. The door was locked. When she looked closely she noticed something unusual that she had not noticed before.
"Yeah, the locks inside didn't exactly help me not be creeped out by you," Sabrina told Relda.
"I'm sorry, liebling, but Puck had already tried to get pixies inside once to attack you, otherwise I probably would have left it unlocked."
"There's a keyhole on this side, too," she said. They were locked in. "We have to find another way out."
The girls crept through the house, doing their best to avoid knocking over any books. They tried all the windows only to discover each had been nailed shut. They found a back door off the kitchen but it, too, had a lock on the inside.
"Let's go back to bed," said Daphne.
"You were so grumpy," Sabrina told her.
"Yeah, you were better."
"We have to get her keys," said Sabrina.
The little girl cocked an eyebrow. "How are we going to do that? She has them."
"You'll see," Sabrina whispered.
The sisters found their way back up the stairs to Mrs. Grimm's room. The door was shut tight, but Sabrina was happy to find there were no locks on it. She slowly turned the knob and it swung open.
"Creeeeeepy." Puck sang.
"Go. Die."
The old woman's room was scary at night. The tribal masks they had seen after dinner were even creepier in the dark, and the swords mounted on the wall flashed a ghostly light around the room. Mrs. Grimm was asleep in her bed, unaware of their presence, and snoring loudly Daphne had the same annoying habit.
"I don't snore." Daphne and Relda said simultaneously.
"Suuuure you don't," Sabrina said patronizingly, more to Daphne than Relda.
"Where are they?" Daphne said, only to have Sabrina's hand clamp over her mouth.
"Yeah, I was totally trying to sabotage us. I kind of just had a feeling about Granny."
"Probably because she looked exactly like Dad."
"And you; pictures of Granny a couple of years older than you look super similar." Red piped up.
"Except with red hair and not blonde," Veronica added.
Sabrina brushed back her hair and leaned back.
"Keep quiet," Sabrina whispered. The old woman turned in bed but stayed asleep.
Sabrina scanned the room and spied the keys glinting in the moonlight, on a table on the far side of the bed.
"Yeah, I am so bored. You two are boring."
"It's about to get exciting; so shut up."
She looked at Daphne, pointed to herself with her free hand, and then pointed to the keys. Daphne nodded and Sabrina let go of her mouth.
"And you, little devil, continued making noise anyway."
Daphne grinned.
Sabrina took a small step forward to test for creaky floorboards. This is going to be easy, she thought, but as her confidence was building, she noticed that Daphne had taken an interest in one of the masks on the wall. The little girl took it off its nail and held it against her face.
"I was so angry when Granny didn't stop us."
"She did, just not in the bedroom."
"Don't do that!" Sabrina whispered.
"Why not?"
"Put it back. Now!"
The little girl frowned and placed it back on its nail. "There! Are you happy?" she whispered. A split second later the mask fell off the wall, landed with a loud clunk, and rolled toward the bed.
"Aw, hecks." Puck said gleefully.
Both girls dove to the floor as Mrs. Grimm sat up.
"Who's there?" she asked. "Oh, it's you. What are you doing down there?"
"Did you get caught?" Basil asked, wide-eyed.
"Wait and find out," Sabrina said kindly.
Sabrina was sure they had been caught, but the old woman leaned over, picked up the mask, and set it on the nightstand. "I'll have Mr. Canis give you a new nail tomorrow."
Then she fell back onto her pillow and within minutes was snoring as loudly as ever.
"You did that on purpose," Sabrina seethed.
"Whatever," Daphne whispered, and rolled her eyes.
"You were both snots," Red told them.
Sabrina scowled. Was her little sister trying to sabotage their escape?
"Literally yes."
Sabrina crept around the bed to the table, picked up the keys, and then tiptoed back across the room and into the hallway with her sister behind her. Downstairs, she quietly went to work on the front door lock. There were so many keys, it took a long time to find the right one, but eventually she heard a loud thunk.
"I would've caught you in a heartbeat."
"Well, if you don't shut up, you won't have a heartbeat to catch me in."
The girls waited for several moments, sure that someone had heard, but when no sound came from upstairs, they scurried outside.
"Good-bye, dollhouse," Daphne said sadly as she ran her hand lovingly across the door.
"We'll go through the woods. We don't want anyone to see us on the road and call the police," Sabrina said, grabbing her sister's hand and leading her around to the back of the house.
"Mistake number one." Canis grunted, giving Puck a sideways look.
The girls looked into the dark forest in front of them. Crooked limbs twisted and turned in painful directions. Sabrina had the sense that the trees were horrible, mutated guardians, threatening anyone who stepped onto their land. A cold wind whipped through the branches, bending some of the smaller trees over and making a breathy moan. Sabrina knew it was just her overactive imagination, but the woods seemed to be alive and reaching out for them.
"Probably were," Veronica commented with a swift smile.
Behind them, the girls heard a surprised yelp and Elvis suddenly appeared. He trotted over and planted himself between them and the trees. His happy face was now serious.
"He was such a good boy." Daphne sighed lovingly at the memory of her familiar.
"Go away, Elvis," Sabrina commanded, but the dog refused.
"See, he doesn't think we should go, either," said Daphne as she wrapped her arms around the big dog and kissed him on the mouth. But Sabrina had made up her mind. She pulled her sister away and into the forest, with Elvis trotting after them.
"I sent the dog after you." Canis informed them.
Inside the trees, everything was deadly still. There were no scurrying animals, rustling branches, or snapping twigs. Even the whistling breeze had faded away. It was if someone had turned the volume down on the world.
Suddenly, a high-pitched note filled the air. It seemed to come from deep inside the woods.
Puck chuckled gleefully and Sabrina groaned.
"What was that?" Daphne said.
"An annoying loser, idiot fairy boy."
Sabrina shrugged. "Probably the wind."
Elvis whined loudly. Then he rushed to Sabrina and clamped his jaw onto her coat sleeve, trying to yank her back toward the house.
"Silly dog." Puck said maniacally.
She pulled away. The girls hurried on with the dog close behind, barking warnings.
Just ignore him. He'll go back when he gets bored, Sabrina said to herself as something zipped past her eye.
"Stupid, stupid girls."
"Do you want to die!?" Sabrina enunciated.
She turned to get a better look and saw it was a firefly, just like the ones that had been outside their window earlier that night.
"Look, Daphne. Here's the big menacing invader Mr. Skin-and-Bones was afraid would get into the house." Sabrina laughed. The little bug fluttered around her head and then circled her body.
Sabrina was shaking her head at the younger her's stupidity.
"Pretty," Daphne said, only to find that she had her own little bug floating nearby. "I've got one, too!"
Elvis let out a very low growl.
"I do not like where this is going," Henry announced before continuing.
"What's the matter, buddy?" Daphne said as she scratched the dog's ears. This did nothing to sooth Elvis. The Great Dane howled menacingly and lunged at the lights with snapping teeth.
"Abuse!" Puck cried, earning him a look from Relda.
"Hush up!" Sabrina ordered, but the dog wouldn't stop. He was going to wake Mrs. Grimm and Mr. Canis if he didn't calm down.
"Sabrina," Daphne said.
Automatically, Sabrina's hands clenched.
The nervousness in the little girl's voice pulled Sabrina's attention away from the dog. Daphne had her hand over her nose, but what startled Sabrina was the fear in the little girl's eyes. She had seen the same look the morning after their parents disappeared, when they had woken up in their parents' bed, alone.
"What did you do?" Jake sounded completely exasperated with Puck.
"What's wrong?" Sabrina asked.
"It just bit me," Daphne said as she removed her hand from her nose. It was covered in blood.
Henry's voice had increased in volume and he seemed to be straining at not leaping at Puck.
Sabrina was shocked. Lightning bugs didn't bite. At least no lightning bugs she had ever heard about. And at that moment, she felt a sting that brought blood to the top of her hand. "Ouch!"
Sabrina felt the phantom pain swell up before dwindling.
Daphne cried out. "I got bit again!" Blood trickled down her earlobe. Sabrina rushed over and wiped her sister's ear with her sleeve.
"I will kill you and bury you with their caseworker," Henry said between gritted teeth.
"In my defense, I didn't actually mean to draw blood. Just scare them. The pixies didn't like them."
The two bugs became ten and then a hundred and then a swarm that circled the girls—thousands of angry little lights, zipping back and forth, diving at their heads and arms and lighting up the ugly trees around them. Elvis growled at the bugs, but there was little he could do.
"Could you imagine if it was us against Puck's stupid pixies now?" Sabrina proposed, sounding amused.
"Cover your face with your hands and run!" Sabrina shouted. The two girls ran as fast as they could, with Elvis at their heels. Sabrina looked back, hoping the bugs weren't following, only to see the swarm close behind and gaining.
"Puck was mean.." Red stated.
In seconds they were stinging the girls again. Daphne cried out and tripped over a tree root. She curled into a ball and tried to hide any exposed skin. Elvis leaped on top of the little girl, doing his best to cover her as the bugs dived, stinging her uncovered hands and legs.
Henry was breathing hard while Veronica was relaxed after seeing her daughters' calm attitude.
Sabrina had to do something. Elvis couldn't protect Daphne. She waved her hands and screamed at the bugs and they instantly darted in her direction. She turned to run, but before she could take even a step she slammed into something and fell to the ground. It was Mrs. Grimm.
"Aw, ruiner of everything fun." Puck complained.
"Liebling." Relda said in fond exasperation.
"It's OK, liebling," she said.
"We have to run, Mrs. Grimm," Sabrina cried, but the old woman stood calmly, as if she was daring the bugs to come closer.
"Like they'd be stupid enough to attack you." Jake grinned.
Puck glared at him.
When the swarm was nearly on top of them, the old woman raised her hand to her mouth and blew a soft blue dust into the air. Many of the bugs froze in mid flight, falling to the ground like snowflakes. The blue mist took out half of their numbers.
"Blasted dust."
The rest regrouped and began to circle the old woman again.
"I have a whole house full of this," Mrs. Grimm shouted.
"Unfortunately."
Incredibly, the bugs seemed to weigh their options, and in one mass they darted deep into the woods and disappeared.
"That wasn't very nice!" Mrs. Grimm shouted into the forest. She turned back to Sabrina and extended her hand. "I'll need your help getting Daphne into the house."
"Dad!" Sabrina shouted when her father set the book aside and lunged for Puck, she intercepted. Darting into his path, hands on her hips and a disapproving look on her face.
"I'm going to kill him. Honey."
"Dad, really? Daph and I would've already done so if we wanted to get revenge. It's over and done with."
Henry reluctantly sat back down.
"Dad, can I read now?" Daphne asked eagerly.
He smiled and handed her the book. She took it and immediately began to read.
Sabrina was sure the old woman would be furious with them. There was no telling if her craziness could extend to violence.
"How many times did your caretakers' craziness extend to violence?" Red asked softly, citing words from the book.
"Hmm?" Sabrina pondered that a moment. "I can't really remember. Continue, Daph."
Who could tell what a woman who had swords hanging over her bed was capable of?
"Oh, I had no idea."
But Mrs. Grimm didn't seem angry at all. In fact, she looked genuinely concerned.
She asked Sabrina to undress her sister while the old woman rushed into the bathroom and returned with a bottle of calamine lotion and some cotton balls. She applied the lotion to Daphne's stings and tucked the little girl into bed.
"Poor liebling."
"She'll be fine in the morning, maybe itchy, but fine," Mrs. Grimm said as she handed the calamine lotion to Sabrina. "Pixies are harmless unless you are overwhelmed by them."
"Wow, you did not introduce the topic very well," Jake observed.
"I didn't know Henry and Veronica chose not to tell them. I thought they might not know the full extent, but I thought they must've known something. I was incorrect."
"Did you just say pixies?" Sabrina asked, unsure if the old woman was joking.
"Yeah, sucka!" Puck called.
"Don't make me kill you."
Mrs. Grimm wrapped her arms around her and gave her a big hug. "Liebling, it's OK now. You can stop crying."
Sabrina wiped her face and felt the tears on her hand. She hadn't known she was crying.
"Bleh." Sabrina said.
In the morning, Sabrina was as hungry as she had ever been. But she was still not going to eat. She'd already looked like a crybaby in front of the old lady.
"Aren't you always a crybaby."
"SHUT UP."
She wasn't about to give up any more ground. By the time the girls heard Mrs. Grimm calling them for breakfast, Sabrina had spent twenty minutes trying to explain her philosophy to her sister.
"Now I want food," Daphne complained.
"You can stay up here if you want, but I'm starving," said Daphne. The idea of skipping a meal was beyond the little girl's imagination.
"You're the only one dumb enough to skip meals, Grimm."
"We're not eating that woman's food," Sabrina said, her stomach growling. "We can't let her think she's breaking us down. We have to stay strong."
Puck snickered.
"I have an idea," Daphne said. "Why don't we have breakfast, eat her cookies, play with Elvis, and enjoy the bed. She'll think she's won us over and then one day, when she least expects it, we'll be gone."
"Daphne's a good schemer," Red commented.
"I thought she was too, except…"
Sabrina thought about her sister's plan. She had to admit it was pretty good. She just wished Daphne hadn't sounded so sarcastic when she said it.
"That."
The girls got dressed and walked tentatively into the hallway. As they approached the stairs, Sabrina heard something coming from the locked room across from Mrs. Grimm's. It sounded like a voice, but she couldn't be sure.
"Oh, oops. I kind of understand why you thought I was psychotic now, girls."
"Just Sabrina." Daphne corrected.
She put her head to the door and the noise stopped.
"Did you hear someone talking in there?" Sabrina asked her sister.
"It was my belly. It's screaming for breakfast." Daphne grabbed Sabrina's hand...
Puck's voice sounded strangely dark when he said, "Mirror."
...and dragged her downstairs to the dining room. Much to Sabrina's relief, creepy Mr. Canis was nowhere to be seen. After several moments, Mrs. Grimm came out of the kitchen with a big plate of pancakes.
"I hope everyone likes flapjacks," she sang.
"If they had been normal," Sabrina replied.
"Yum!" Daphne cheered as the old woman stacked three on her plate, along with a couple of sausage links, then turned to serve Sabrina, whose mouth was watering. Sabrina hadn't had pancakes since her parents disappeared. Her empty belly was telling her to seriously consider Daphne's plan.
"I'm a better planner than you." Daphne boasted jokingly.
"Hold on, lieblings. I forgot the syrup," Mrs. Grimm said, rushing back into the kitchen.
"A bad crime against humanity, that syrup."
As soon as she was gone, Daphne looked underneath her pancakes as if she were expecting a buried surprise.
"I was."
"They're just pancakes," she said.
"You sound disappointed," Mrs. Grimm said, laughing, as she returned with a large gravy boat.
"Those poor flapjacks." Sabrina lamented in advance.
"Well, after last night's spaghetti I thought maybe you cooked like that all the time," Daphne said wistfully.
"Oh, liebling, I do." The old woman tilted the gravy boat over Daphne's pancakes and a sticky, bright pink liquid bubbled out. To Sabrina it looked like gelatin that hadn't had time to set.
Sabrina sighed sadly. "Perfectly good flapjacks."
When Daphne saw it her eyes grew as wide as the pancakes on her plate.
"What's that?" she cried.
"Bleh, Daphne, bleh."
"Try it," Mrs. Grimm said with a grin.
Naturally, Daphne dug in, greedily wolfing down bite after bite. "It's delicious!" she exclaimed with a mouth full of food.
Sabrina shuddered.
"It's a special recipe. It has marigolds in it." Mrs. Grimm proudly poured it onto Sabrina's pancakes before the girl had a chance to refuse. Sabrina looked down at the funky, fizzing sauce. It smelled faintly of peanut butter and mothballs and Sabrina's stomach did a flip-flop in protest. She dropped her fork and pushed her plate away.
"Same, girl, same," Sabrina muttered.
Suddenly, there was a pounding from upstairs.
"So, perhaps we should discuss last night's excitement," said Mrs. Grimm as she sat down at the table and tucked a napkin into the front of her bright green dress. She gazed across at Sabrina and arched a questioning eyebrow.
"It wasn't my idea," Daphne said. Sabrina scowled at this betrayal.
"I was a squealer."
"Well, no harm done. No broken bones or anything," the old woman said.
"Unfortunately."
"Puck." Relda groaned.
"Granny, you have some mean bugs in your yard," Daphne said as she poured more of the syrup on her breakfast.
"I know, liebling. They sure are mean."
"YEAH, THEY ARE."
"What is that hammering?" asked Sabrina.
"Mr. Canis is nailing your windows shut," Mrs. Grimm said as she took a bite of her breakfast.
Sabrina laughed, "I am starting to know why I was so scared of you and Mr. Canis."
"What?!" the girls said in shocked unison.
"I can't take any chances that something could get into the house or someone might try to get out," the old woman replied over the loud banging.
"That worked great." Mr. Canis said evenly.
"Well, I am the Queen of the Sneaks."
"Grimm, stop trying to copy my name."
"Fairy boy, I had my name three years before I ever knew you. And I wouldn't copy your name if you paid me. What would I be? The Trickster Queen? Bleh."
Daphne burst into laughter, muttering something to Red that made Red laugh. Sabrina gave them both a narrow-eyed look.
"So, we're your prisoners?" Sabrina cried.
"Oh, you're just like your opa." Mrs. Grimm laughed. "What a flare for the dramatic. Let's put it behind us. Today is a new day with a new adventure. This morning I received a call. There's been an incident that requires our attention. How exciting! You two haven't even been here a full day yet and already we're in the thick of it."
Daphne shivered with excitement at the prospect of a case, even one they'd solved so many years before.
"In the thick of what?" Daphne asked as she placed a fat pat of green butter on her second stack of pancakes.
"Ewwwwwwwwww…." Sabrina complained at the mental picture.
"You'll see." The old woman got up from her chair, went into the living room, and came back with several shopping bags. She placed them next to the table.
"Oh god no." Sabrina muttered, knowing what was coming in the book.
"Mr. Canis went to the store to buy you some clothing, just a couple of things to tide you over until we can go shopping."
Sabrina looked in the bag. Inside were some of the strangest clothes she had ever seen.
"I am still sorry about that." Mr. Canis said truthfully.
"Oh no… you were colorblind and… oh, oh no," Red murmured.
There were two pairs of bright blue pants that had little hearts and balloons sewn onto them. There were two identical sweatshirts that were as awful as the pants—bright orange with a monkey in a tree on the front. Underneath the monkey were printed the words "Hang in there!"
Puck was rolling on the floor with laughter, laughing so hard his eyes watered.
"Shut up!" Sabrina yelled at him, hating the outfit already and Puck's teasing not helping.
"You expect us to wear these?" Sabrina moaned.
"Oh, I love them!" Daphne said, pulling the orange monkey sweatshirt out and hugging it like a new doll.
"I really did. On afterthought, though, just no." Daphne admitted.
"Thank the lord." Sabrina muttered.
"I think they'd be cute." Veronica told them.
"They weren't." Daphne assured her.
"Oh, everything is cute on you, lieblings." Relda told them lovingly.
"Everything looks good on…" Puck trailed off very quickly, and then picked up again just as fast. "Marshmallow when she was still a mini marshmallow. She was like… well, a Marshmallow."
Jake gave a crooked smirk to Puck, "You trailed off there. Were you going to say something else, Puck?"
"NO!" Puck said forcefully.
After breakfast, the girls got dressed and looked at their new outfits in the bedroom mirror. Daphne, of course, thought her crazy outfit was the best she had ever had and strutted around like a giddy fashion model. Sabrina, on the other hand, was sure Mr. Canis was trying to punish them for attempting to run away.
"Had that happened before?" Basil asked curiously.
"Well, yeah. Not for running away, we were never caught before, but for other stuff."
"Hurry, girls, we have to get going," Granny called.
"I feel like a movie star," Daphne said as the girls hurried downstairs.
"You look like a mental patient," Sabrina remarked.
"I always did, back then." Daphne commented.
"Not always; a lot of the time you looked cute." Sabrina assured her.
…
The sisters stood by the door, waiting for the old woman to collect her things. Mrs. Grimm rushed around the house, grabbing books off of shelves and from underneath the couch, creating a tornado of dust that followed her from room to room. When she had collected as many as she could carry, she handed them to Sabrina.
"Almost ready," she sang as she rushed up the stairs.
"When do I come in, again, Grimm?" Puck asked.
"Couple chapters, I think. After Granny, Mr. Canis and Elvis were kidnapped by the giant and we were running from Hamstead."
Sabrina looked down at the top book. It was entitled Fables and Folklore: The Complete Handbook. Before she could question the book's purpose, she heard the old woman pull out her keys and unlock the mysterious door upstairs.
"Sabrina, I thought I told you not to pay attention to that room." Relda smiled.
"Sorry, Granny."
"She's going into her secret room," Sabrina whispered to her sister. Daphne's eyes widened and she bit the palm of her hand. For some reason Daphne did this whenever she was overly excited, and though it embarrassed Sabrina, she let it pass. If she tried to curb all of Daphne's odd little quirks, she would never get any sleep.
"Hey!"
"You know it's true." Sabrina replied calmly.
Daphne laughed, "Yeah… I do."
"I wonder what's in there," Daphne whispered back.
"That's probably where she keeps the bodies of all the other kids she's stolen from the orphanage."
"Wow, you really were gruesome." Jake commented.
"Try living my life and not being gruesome and pessimistic." Sabrina replied.
Daphne stuck out her tongue and gave her sister a raspberry.
Sabrina had to admit she was curious about the room. Whenever she was told she couldn't do something, Sabrina found it was all she could think about doing. But the great thing about rules was that you could break them and drive adults crazy.
"It does indeed." Henry added.
"Do you hear that?" Daphne asked.
"Yeah, she's talking to someone," Sabrina replied. "Probably Mr. Canis."
"Mirror." Puck ground out.
Sabrina strained to hear the conversation, but before she could make out anything, she heard Mrs. Grimm leave the room, lock the door, and head back down the stairs.
"Ladies, we're off," she said as she ushered them outside and went to work locking the front door. Then she knocked on the door three times, as she had the day before, but this time she said, "We'll be back."
"Aw, I miss that spell." Basil piped up, they'd eliminated it five years previously due to lack of need.
"Who are you talking to?" Sabrina asked.
"The house," Mrs. Grimm replied, as if this were a perfectly natural thing to do.
Daphne knocked on the door as well. "Good-bye, doll-house," she said, causing her sister to sigh and roll her eyes.
"Doooollll houuuuse." Puck mocked.
"Shuuuuut uuuuuup." Sabrina responded in the same manner.
As they turned to go to the car, Sabrina looked up and nearly stumbled. Mr. Canis wasn't upstairs! He was standing on the path with Elvis at his side. He returned her stare with a look of slight contempt. His gaze unnerved the girl, but no more than the realization that Mrs. Grimm had been talking to herself in her secret room.
"Or, you know, not."
"We're ready, Mr. Canis," Mrs. Grimm said, and he nodded. They all climbed into the squeaky car, including Elvis, who laid his huge body across the girls' laps.
"Did you have a chat with our neighbor?" Mrs. Grimm asked Mr. Canis as they all buckled or tied themselves in.
"That would be me." Puck hooted.
"We began a conversation," the old man grumbled. "But he can be stubborn."
"I am indeed."
"Well, he'll get used to it eventually, I suppose," Mrs. Grimm replied.
"Unfortunately."
"He doesn't have a history of getting used to things," Mr. Canis said.
"Things change."
"Oh shut up." Veronica chuckled.
Mrs. Grimm sighed and nodded.
"Who are you talking about?" Daphne asked.
"Oh, just a neighbor. Nothing to worry about. You'll meet him soon enough."
"I hope so." Puck added again.
"Shut. Up." Sabrina rolled her eyes.
Sabrina looked around. She was sure they were miles from the nearest neighbor.
Mr. Canis fired up the engine and the car rocked back and forth violently like a bucking bronco trying to get rid of a cowboy, calming down as they drove out the driveway and through desolate back roads.
"How old was that car?" Red asked.
"I think Dad got it twice used in the late fifties." Henry told them, half-joking.
"Henry." Relda said exasperatedly.
Sabrina reexamined Ferryport Landing, the world's most boring town. There was little obvious life, except an old dairy cow standing on the side of the road. Mrs. Grimm leaned over and honked, then waved wildly at the cow as they passed. When Daphne giggled about it, the old woman smiled and told her how important it was to be friendly.
"Was that cow an Everafter, or was it just a cow?" Jake inquired curiously.
"Just a cow." This brought some laughter.
Meanwhile, Sabrina made the best of the trip by memorizing street names and calculating how long it would take to walk to the train station.
"About half an hour." Sabrina muttered absentmindedly.
They came to a mailbox with the name Applebee marked on it and Mr. Canis turned the car down a long, leaf-covered driveway lined with ancient cedars, pines, and oaks. The car passed a tractor sitting alone on a little hill and pulled over into a clearing where a massive pile of wood and pipes and glass sat surrounded by yellow emergency tape. Mrs. Grimm looked at Mr. Canis and smiled.
"Well, we haven't had to deal with something like this in a while, have we, Mr. Canis?" she asked.
"Giant."
The old man shook his head and helped her out of the car. Once she got on her feet, Mrs. Grimm opened the back door, reached in, and scratched Elvis behind the ears.
"Girls, do you mind if I borrow my boyfriend for a moment?" she asked as she winked at Daphne.
"I want Elvis, I wish he were here."
The Great Dane crawled clumsily out of the car, stretched a little, and looked up at the old woman for instructions. She fumbled in her purse and took out a small piece of fabric that she held under the dog's nose. He sniffed it deeply, then rushed over to the huge pile of debris and began hunting through the rubble.
"What are we doing here?" Sabrina asked.
"We're investigating a crime, naturally," Mrs. Grimm said.
"You evidently hadn't read the title of your book." Veronica teased.
"Are you a police officer or something?" asked Daphne.
"Or something," the old woman said with a grin. "Why don't you get out and take a look around?" She walked away, apparently to snoop through the rubble.
"Giant."
Having a two-hundred-pound dog lie on her lap had given Sabrina a charley horse, so she and Daphne decided to get out and stretch their legs.
"Only objection to riding in a car with Elvis." Sabrina remarked.
"She talks to the house, and cows, and has all these crazy rules. Now she thinks she's Sherlock Holmes," Sabrina muttered.
"Oh, liebling, of course I am not Sherlock Holmes."
"I was a brat, Granny, pure, and simple."
"Maybe it's a game," Daphne said. "I'm going to be a detective, too! I'm going to be Scooby Doo!"
"Puck would be Velma."
"V—hey!"
Despite all of Sabrina's warnings, Daphne seemed to be having fun, something she hadn't had in nearly a year and a half. It was nice to see a smile on her sister's face and that old light in her eyes. It was the same look she used to have when their father would read them the Sunday comics or when their mother would let them invade her closet to play dress-up.
"You… play dress up?" Puck said with a hint of incredulity.
"Yes, I was once a kid, Puck."
Sabrina smiled and put her arm around the little girl's shoulders. She'd let her have her fun. Who knew how long it would last?
"Oh… about three hours."
Just then, a long white limousine pulled into the clearing.
"Nevermind."
It was bright and shiny with whitewall tires and a silver horse for a hood ornament. It parked next to Mrs. Grimm's car and a little man got out of the driver's side.
No one spoke. It was no longer fun, the reading. Lumps rose up in several throats at the memory of the happy man who Atticus Charming had murdered.
Daphne was the only one to speak, murmuring, "Mr. Seven."
Sabrina looked away quickly, swallowing forcefully. Jake looked downcast as he continued to read.
He couldn't have been more than three feet high. In fact, he was no taller than Daphne. He had a big bulbous nose and a potbelly that the buttons of his black suit struggled to contain. But the most unusual thing about the man wasn't his size or his clothing. It was the pointy paper hat he wore on his head that read, I AM AN IDIOT.
"Stupid Charming." Red said softly, sounding upset.
He rushed as quickly as he could to the other side of the car, opened the back passenger door, and was met with a barrage of insults from a man inside.
"I forgot Charming used to be worse." Jake said.
"Mr. Seven, sometime today!" the man bellowed in an English accent. "Do you think I want to sit in this muggy car all afternoon waiting for you to find time to open the door? You know, when you came to me for a job, I happily gave you one, but every day you make me regret it!"
"Not anymore, thankfully." Veronica murmured.
A tall man in a purple suit exited the limousine and looked around. He had a strong jaw, deep blue eyes, and shiny black hair. He was probably the best-looking man Sabrina had ever seen, and her heart began to race. That was, until he opened his mouth again.
"Hahaha. You had the hots for Charming."
"You're an idiot; I was freaking 11."
"What is this? Heads are going to roll, Mr. Seven," the man fumed as he looked around.
"God, I hated Charming so much."
"Yes, sir," Mr. Seven answered.
"I was told that this was taken care of last night. It's just lucky that I realize that everyone who works for me is an incompetent boob or we would never have known this was still out here until it was too late. My goodness, look at that rubbish sitting there in broad daylight. What do the Three think I pay them for? I can't have this nonsense going on right now. Doesn't everyone realize that the ball is tomorrow? Heads are going to roll, Mr. Seven."
"What did Snow see in him, again?" Puck asked with a snort.
"Haven't you ever heard the saying 'love is blind'?"
"Hopefully so is your future husband."
"Puck, why would you wish that on…"
Puck and Sabrina both cut Daphne off with two looks.
The little man nodded in agreement. His boss looked down at Sabrina and Daphne and scowled.
"Look, the tourists are already here and they're leaving their filthy children unsupervised. They are children, right, Mr. Seven? Not just a couple more of your kind?"
"I thought that he meant something a lot more offensive." Sabrina commented amusedly.
Mr. Seven's dunce cap had slid down over his eyes. He lifted it and gazed at the two girls. "They're children, sir."
"I would love to see this Charming and that Charming together. With the respective Snow's of that year."
"The way they are dressed you would think they were circus folk. You worked in the circus for some time, didn't you Mr. Seven?"
Sabrina groaned, "I wanted to deck him so bad."
The little man nodded.
"Why, there ought to be a law about unsupervised children. This is a crime scene and it's crawling with kids. Mr. Seven, let's make that a law, if that isn't too much trouble?" the man continued.
"Illegal to make that a law." Henry commented.
"No trouble at all, sir," said Mr. Seven as he took a spiral-bound pad and a pen from his jacket pocket and furiously jotted down his boss's instructions.
"See how easy it is to be a team player, Mr. Seven? I like your change of attitude. If you keep this up we might be able to get rid of that hat," the man said.
"That would please me, sir."
"Charming burned that hat and made a new one 'I am a Hero' for Mr. Seven."
"Let's not rush things, Mr. Seven. After all, you still haven't given these children my card, which is incredibly frustrating, especially since we discussed this just last night. What did I tell you, man?"
"Give everyone your card. It's good networking." Sabrina recalled.
"Give everyone your card. It's good networking."
"Indeed it is," the man replied, tapping his toe impatiently.
"So sorry, Mr. Charming, sir," Mr. Seven said as he rushed to the girls and shoved a business card into each of their hands. It was purple with a golden crown on one side and the words MAYOR WILLIAM CHARMING—HERE TO LEAD YOU written on it in gold lettering. Underneath the name were a telephone number, an e-mail address, and a Web site: .com.
"I like how his business card had a freaking crown on it, that is hilarious." Jake said with a snort.
"Now, what was I saying before I had to tell you how to do your job, Mr. Seven?"
But before the little man could answer, Sabrina stepped forward. If there was one thing she couldn't stand, it was a bully.
"A truer word hasn't been spoken since I said Daphne was never done eating."
"You were saying there ought to be a law against unsupervised children," Sabrina said angrily. "There should be a law against talking to people like they are morons, too!"
"More like a moral law."
"Yes, that's correct. See, Seven, if this carnival girl can pay attention to the conversation, why can't you? Why, she can't be more than eight years old, and certainly slow in the head," Mayor Charming said.
"Now that's the truth."
"Do you want to die, fairy?"
"I'm almost twelve," Sabrina shouted. "And I'm not slow!"
"I beg to differ."
"Lieblings, no trying to murder each other!" Relda exclaimed when Sabrina's dagger made a reappearance.
Mayor Charming seemed startled by her anger.
"Where are your parents, child?" he snapped.
"We're here with our grandmother," Daphne answered. Sabrina spun around on her sister angrily. The old lunatic was not their grandmother.
"You're an idiot, Grimm."
"Don't push me."
"How splendid for you," Mayor Charming sneered. "And who is your grandmother?"
Daphne pointed to Mrs. Grimm, who was busy taking notes on a little pad of paper.
"Relda Grimm is your grandmother?" the mayor growled between gritted teeth. "When will this cursed family die out? You're like a swarm of cockroaches!"
Puck seemed to find this hilarious.
Mrs. Grimm looked over, saw Mayor Charming, and quickly came to join them.
"Relda Grimm, I just met your granddaughters," the mayor said, as his face changed from a scowl to a smile. "They're the spitting image of their grandfather."
"Charming said that?" Veronica said doubtfully.
"Wait for it." Red advised, sensing the next words before Henry spoke them.
He bent over and pinched Daphne on the cheek. "Hopefully, they'll grow out of it," he muttered.
"Yeah, Charming definitely said that."
"Mayor Charming, what brings you all the way out here? I thought you'd be busy planning the fund-raiser. It's in a couple of days, correct?" said Mrs. Grimm with a forced smile.
"It is not a fund-raiser!" Charming insisted. "It's a ball! And it is tomorrow night. But you know how the community is. If I don't investigate every little stray cloud, the flock gets nervous. But then again, I could ask you the same question. What is the famous Relda Grimm doing in the middle of nowhere looking at a broken house?"
"He was such a bad liar."
He was right—it was a house that had fallen down. Sabrina saw pieces of furniture and clothing sticking out of the pile and an old afghan quilt swinging from a stick in the breeze.
"I don't know what the farmer expected with such shoddy workmanship. He's lucky to have crawled out alive," he continued.
"Shoddy workmanship." Mr. Canis scoffed.
"So there was a survivor?" Mrs. Grimm said, writing in her notebook.
"Here she goes, Mr. Seven. You can almost see the wheels spinning in her head. Relda Grimm, private eye, out to solve the case that never was," the mayor said. "See, that's the problem with you Grimms. You could never quite grasp that in order to solve a mystery there must be a mystery to solve. A farmer built a flimsy house and it fell down. It was an accident. Case closed."
"Jack…" Catching her mother's look, Sabrina trailed off with a grin.
"Then why did you call it a crime scene?" Sabrina piped up.
Charming turned and gave her a look that could have burned a hole through her. "You must have misheard me, child," he said between gritted teeth. "Mr. Seven, take down this note, please. New law—children should not ask questions of their elders."
"Hehehe, Charming got called out." Sabrina looked ready to strangle Puck.
As the little man scribbled furiously in his notebook, Mrs. Grimm said, "We both know why we're here, Mayor."
Charming's face turned red. He tugged on his necktie and adjusted his collar. "This is none of your concern, Relda."
Before the old woman could respond, Mr. Canis joined the group.
"Well, if it isn't the big bad …"
"He did not just go there." Jake's eyes were wide.
"Mayor Charming!" said Mrs. Grimm angrily.
"Yow."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I heard you were going by Canis now." Charming grinned and leaned in close to Sabrina and Daphne. "Do yourselves a favor, girls, and check Granny's teeth before you give her a good-night kiss."
"Wooooooooooooooooooooooooow." Red seemed surprised by Charming's overwhelming rudeness and bluntness, Red had only known the slightly less arrogant version of the man who cared for nothing more than his wife and children.
"Do you think it wise to provoke me?" Mr. Canis said as he took a step toward the mayor. Despite Mr. Canis's quiet demeanor, the words seemed to unnerve Charming.
"That's enough!" Mrs. Grimm demanded. Her voice shocked the girls, but the effect on the two grown men was even more startling. They backed away from each other like two schoolboys who had been scolded by a teacher.
"You two were honestly worse than Henry and Jacob. And Sabrina and Daphne. Combined." Relda shook her head in exasperation.
"The dog has found something," Mr. Canis said gruffly. He placed an enormous green leaf in Mrs. Grimm's hand and her eyes lit up in satisfaction.
"Well, look at that, Mayor Charming, I think we've found a clue. There might be a mystery to solve here, yet," she said, waving the leaf in the mayor's angry face.
"A leaf?" Henry raised an eyebrow.
"Congratulations! You found a leaf in the middle of all these trees," Charming scoffed. "I bet if you could bring out the forensics team you might find a twig, or even an acorn!"
"I have got to use that if the situation ever presents itself. '
"It looks a lot like a leaf from a beanstalk," the old woman replied.
Charming rolled his eyes. "That proves nothing."
"That definitely proves giants were involved." Veronica contradicted.
"Maybe, maybe not, but it does seem odd that a fresh green leaf is out here in late November," Mrs. Grimm said. Sabrina looked around at the trees. Every limb was bare.
"Listen Relda, stop meddling in our affairs or you're going to regret it," said the mayor.
"If you don't want me meddling, then you must really do a better job of covering up your mistakes." Mrs. Grimm placed the leaf inside her handbag.
"Our affairs now."
The mayor scoffed and then turned to Mr. Seven. "Get the door, you lumpy bag of foolishness!" he shouted. The little man nearly lost his paper hat as he rushed to the car door. Within moments, the limo was spitting gravel behind it as it drove away.
"Girls, why don't we take a walk over to that hill and sit by the tractor? I'd like to see this site from above," Mrs. Grimm said. Daphne took the old woman's hand and helped her up a sloped embankment where a lonely tractor was parked. When they reached the top, the old woman plopped on the ground and caught her breath. "Thank you, liebling. Either the hills are getting steeper or I'm getting older."
"Neither, at the moment."
"Who was that man?" Daphne asked.
"Let's just say he's a royal pain," Mrs. Grimm replied. "Mr. Charming is the mayor of Ferryport Landing."
Sabrina, now appreciating the joke as it was supposed to be appreciated, snorted amusedly.
"What's with the bad attitude?" Sabrina said. The mayor reminded her of the orphanage's lunch lady, who seemed to delight in telling the children they were getting fat.
"Must never have told you that, Grimm. You look like a stick figure."
"Thank you, Puck."
It seemed to take the fairy a moment to realize he'd just complimented her. He groaned.
"He gets a little territorial sometimes."
"He and Mr. Canis sure don't like each other," Daphne added.
"Territorial. Yeah, if that's what you want to call it." Mr. Canis natural behavior towards Charming shone through at the mention of the way the man used to act before reuniting with Snow.
"They have a long history," the old woman said.
"A very long history."
She picked a small, black disk off the ground. "How interesting." She happily jotted down a note in her notebook. "A lens cap, from what looks like a very expensive video camera."
"Jack was such an idiot."
"Maybe it's just junk or something the farmer lost," Daphne said.
"Maybe, or maybe whoever is responsible for all that damage wanted a record." Mrs. Grimm tossed the lens cap into her handbag.
"Nail on the head, as per usual."
Just then, a white van with the words ACTION 4 NEWS painted on the side pulled up. The doors swung open and a cameraman and a pretty reporter in a business suit jumped out. The reporter checked her hair in a compact mirror as the cameraman handed her a microphone. They eyed the pile of lumber and brick and then spotted the girls and the old woman sitting on the hill. In no time, they were standing before them.
"Hello ladies, I'm Wilma Faye from Action Four News," the reporter said as she shoved her microphone in Mrs. Grimm's face. "We were wondering if you might be able to tell us what happened here."
"Ooh, I forgot about that woman."
"Oh dear, am I on television?" the old woman asked.
"You will be," the reporter replied. "Tell our audience what you witnessed."
"Oh, we didn't see anything, I'm afraid," said Ms. Grimm. "We only just got here."
The reporter groaned and the cameraman lowered his camera.
"This is just great!" Wilma Faye complained. "Five years of journalism school, graduating with honors and at the top of my class, and I'm out here in Ferryport Landing, in the cold, covering a house that collapsed."
"If she knew the truth… sheesh." Daphne remarked.
"I'll get some shots of the damage," the cameraman said as he hoisted his heavy video camera back onto his shoulder and walked down the hill to the rubble.
"Good idea," the reporter replied. "Let's get out of here as soon as possible."
"Sorry I couldn't be of any help," said Mrs. Grimm.
"Oh, it's not your fault. I just keep getting sent out to this town when there isn't any news."
Most of the room laughed at this. Ferryport Landing was certainly not uneventful.
"Yes, unfortunately, there's not a lot of excitement in Ferryport Landing," the old woman agreed. Wilma Faye nodded and headed back to the van.
When the news crew had left, Mrs. Grimm removed the large green leaf and an odd little box covered in knobs and lights from her handbag. She placed the leaf on the ground, then pushed a red button on top of the box and waved it over the leaf.
"I miss that device, I lost it somewhere in the giant's pocket."
"What are you doing?" Daphne asked.
"I'm analyzing it. Very scientific stuff," the old woman said just as the machine let out a loud honking sound that could only be described as a fart. "Just as I thought, it's from a giant beanstalk."
"Oh dear, I'm seeing more and more why you viewed me as a lunatic. I saw it before, but now…"
"There's no such thing as giant beanstalks." Daphne giggled.
Mrs. Grimm pointed at the clearing below. "What do you see?"
"A house that fell down?" the little girl suggested.
"Yes, but what else? What is surrounding the house?"
Sabrina focused her attention on the rubble. What was so unusual about it? Nothing, really, except maybe for the large area of sunken ground that surrounded it. "The earth is mashed around it," she said.
"The first of many buildings that giant literally stepped on."
"And what could cause something like that to happen?"
"I don't know. What do you think?" Sabrina said, after running through the possibilities.
"I think a giant stepped on it," Mrs. Grimm answered. "Find a giant beanstalk leaf and you'll probably find a giant.
Daphne began to laugh but Sabrina was horrified. The old woman was getting crazier by the second.
"I was so puzzled why you two weren't that involved."
"Well, I better go down and have a second look," the old woman said as she climbed to her feet. She walked back down the hill and joined Mr. Canis at the pile.
"She's funny." Daphne giggled.
Funny in the head, Sabrina thought.
"That's funny." Basil piped up.
"I want to ride on the tractor!" Daphne cried.
She jumped up and pulled her sister over to it. Sabrina lifted the little girl onto the seat, who then grabbed the wheel and turned it, making vroom vroom sounds as she pretended to drive.
"Look at me, I'm a farmer," she said in a goofy voice. Sabrina looked up at her sister and laughed. Daphne was the funniest person she had ever met.
"Well, yes, you obviously hadn't met me yet."
"Fairy boy, the only funny thing about you is your face."
"What kind of food do you grow on this here farm, Farmer Grimm?" the older girl played along.
"Why, I grow candy on this here farm." Daphne laughed. "Bushels and bushels of candy. Just sent my crop to market last week. Got me a pretty penny, I did."
"I wish candy grew on farms. There would be so much more if it."
Sabrina smiled, but then a shadow covered her heart. Why did the old lady have to lie about who she was? Why did she have to make up crazy stories? Why couldn't she be normal? Her house was warm and comfortable and as long as Sabrina kept an eye on Mr. Canis they might just be OK. If the old woman wasn't a lunatic she'd make a perfect grandmother.
"Well thank you, liebling."
Sabrina grinned.
"Sabrina, look at the house," Daphne whispered. She had stopped playing and was staring at the pile below.
Sabrina looked down at the clearing but saw nothing new.
"Do you see what I see?" Daphne cried, pointing.
"What? What do you see?"
"I think I know where this is going." Red said darkly.
"Come up here, you have to see it from up here."
Sabrina crawled up onto the tractor and stood high on its hood.
"Do you see it?"
"As do I. See where it is going." Henry seconded.
And then Sabrina saw what her sister was so excited about and her heart leaped into her throat. The indentation surrounding the broken-down house had a shape.
"It's a footprint," she gasped.
...
Yeah, it is, Sabrina. Alright, that's the end of this chapter. And I just want to say that I DID AN ENTIRE CHAPTER IN ONE FANFICTION CHAPTER! YIPPEE! That's the first time I've done that! And it shows, this is unbelievably long. But I'm hoping I'll move through faster if I put more book into each chapter. And, so, I presented you this. I might be posting another regular chapter sometime this week, or a fanfiction chapter but no promises on either because school is going to be extra hectic this week because Monday is a holiday. So, I'll try, and either way, I will definitely be posting late Saturday or sometime Sunday.
QoTW is this; do y'all have any pets? How many? What kind? I'm just curious. I have a little fourteen-year-old Yorkshire Terrier.
