Saturday morning, Just before the sun rose, Tim had begun to stir. Opening one eye, expecting to feel terrible, he was pleasantly surprised that he was actually feeling okay. He opened both eyes and felt the washcloth still on his forehead. He'd literally slept the whole night hardly moving at all. He reached up to pull the dried cloth off, and realized Lucy was still curled up at his side. For a few minutes he just lay there. She looked so peaceful and was still completely out. The way she fit next to him, it was like she was meant to be there, she had one leg over his (again) and her arm over his chest. Her hair covered part of her face, but he could tell she was still in a pretty deep sleep, he brushed her hair back behind her ear, nothing. Lucy never moved a muscle. Compared to the previous night when she'd had such an obvious hard time getting her body and mind to relax enough to sleep this was a 180 degree turn. Tim knew the alcohol could have something to do with it, but more than that, he thought she felt safe with him here. As independent as Lucy was, he couldn't help feeling a little proud that she'd allowed him to be there for her. He got the impression she didn't show the vulnerable part of herself to very many people. The sky began to change from black to blue as the sun started to rise. Tim lifted her arm and slowly got up. He pulled the blanket back up around her and grabbed a change of clothes.
Lucy woke to the early morning sun streaming into the bedroom. She could hear the waves and seagulls out the open door. She yawned and stretched, then looked over and realized Tim wasn't sleeping beside her. That little flip in her stomach reminded her how much she was enjoying this new fake reality, that wasn't so fake. As much as they had to drink last night, she felt fine, her home remedy holding up yet again. She'd perfected it years ago, and had to use it many times after late night sessions with her fellow rookies. She heard the coffee pot go off downstairs. Maybe he was rewarding her with coffee before he made her go on another run with him she thought, smiling to herself. When she went into the bathroom, there was still steam and the scent of his soap left behind from his shower. She closed her eyes and breathed in deep again.
A few minutes later she came downstairs. Tim was sitting at the table with a newspaper and his black coffee, clearly ready for a run, but waiting for her.
"Good morning, how do you feel" she asked.
He put the paper down and gave her a smile that showed off his dimples and made her remind herself to keep breathing.
"Pretty good actually, thanks to you". He got up and pulled a chair out for her. Wow this was nice, she should do things for him more often. "Oh" she said "I'm gonna grab some coffee, that smells so good".
"I got it, sit down". he insisted. Lucy sat in the chair next to his.
This reminded her a bit of Nolan, he was by far the most chivalrous man she'd ever dated. It was such a nice change of pace. She had always thought those things were silly and men and women were equal, why should the man have to open a door or pull out a chair, then she dated John Nolan and realized what she'd been missing. He never thought of it like she couldn't do those things for herself, he just wanted to do them for her. She'd thought maybe it was because he was older than most of the men she'd dated, but no, it was just the way he was. Some men his age weren't like that and she was sure there must be men her age that were. Tim was always this way to an extent at work. He always opened doors, allowing her to walk through first. Of course she thought to herself this could be his way of testing her to see how she'd handle walking through the door first if there was a threat there, and it had nothing to do with being chivalrous. She smiled to herself at the thought.
She watched him reach for a coffee cup, admiring the muscles in his arms as he stretched to reach the larger cups. She put her elbow on the table and leaned down to put her chin on her hand to watch him. Last night she'd thought his jawline might be the most beautiful thing about him, but now she thought no, its those arms. Maybe his eyes. Oh wait, hands, okay enough. Concentrate on coffee before you start blushing uncontrollably again she thought to herself.
She realized watching him, that he knew how she took her coffee. Her smile got even bigger. All those months of him making her get his, and at first she had to keep trying until she got it just how he liked, he was putting a little cream and sugar in hers. She could drink it black but preferred to take a little of the bitter away.
She was trying to hide the smile when he brought it over to her.
Tim turned and said "What, I watched you try to get mine right for months, half the time you'd accidently give me yours".
"Okay" she said, smugly smiling as she sipped it, "I didn't say anything".
He rolled his eyes, fake annoyance at her gloating.
"So what's on the agenda today" he asked, this weekend was her idea. "After a run, of course".
Her smiled faded. Training might be part of being a cop, but wasn't there ever a day off...
"Well, we need to run grab some wine or something to bring tonight, I thought maybe we could get breakfast at that place by the pier and find maybe a good bottle of wine or some flowers or something".
"Sounds good" Tim was nodding his head.
They both finished coffee and he took both cups back over to the sink before they both headed outside to stretch a few minutes before the run.
On the deck they saw Sam run down the beach chasing after a ball and both waved at Mrs. Hilbert who was on the beach throwing it for him. She was on her phone but still waved back and said good morning.
The beach had a few more people Saturday morning than it had yesterday. It was still pretty early, but there were a few runners, some walkers, and they even had seen a few surfers out in the distance.
Tim took her hand and led her down the steps to the sand and they took off down the beach. They took the same route today, this time passing people walking or running in the other direction multiple times. Without fail, every single woman gave Tim a huge smile, some of them raising their eyebrows, even turning to watch him as they passed. She shook her head and smiled.
Finally they reached the cool down point where they'd walk.
"Oh God, I think I'm dying" she said breathing heavy.
"Come on, you know you feel better after, and your hands aren't all beat up by the heavy bag this way" Tim was breathing heavy too but looked like he just had a glow, and had barely worked up a sweat. She just knew her face was all red, her hair was probably frizzed up threatening to fall out of the ponytail, and her t shirt soaked with sweat.
They were about to pass 2 women from the other direction. Lucy looked down and out to the ocean, trying to avoid eye contact with them as they got closer. She felt out of place here, these women had perfect skin, hair, and even their beach clothes looked fancy. Sensing the way she was avoiding them, Tim took her hand in his, then pulled it up to his chest, she turned back to look at him. He wasn't looking at the 2 women at all. He was only looking at her.
Tim could tell she was deferring to these women in some way by looking away and he couldn't understand it They couldn't hold a candle to her. Lucy's beauty went beyond how she looked. She was beautiful inside and out. He couldn't fathom her thinking any woman had anything on her.
Her heart fluttered and she thought at least her face was already red from exertion, so he couldn't tell how she was blushing. Something had shifted between them over the past 2 days, when their eyes met this way, there were less and less times that they'd look away. It definitely felt to Lucy like they were working towards something happening between the 2 of them. If he kept looking at her like this, it was going to happen sooner rather than later. She didn't care how sweaty they were, she took her hand away so she could reach around his waist, and he put his arm around her too.
"I wanna ask you something" Tim said as they walked. He looked over her towards the ocean, this was feeling more and more real the more time they spent together, and here were a few things he really wanted to know, that they hadn't got to last night.
"Okay" she replied, a little nervously. She sensed he'd been holding this question back.
"What happened with you and Nolan".
"Um, huh? what, nothing, there's nothing, no" she stumbled over her answer.
"You guys don't think you were hiding it from a precinct full of cops do you"? he asked, Lucy could hear the smile in his question.
"Who told you"? She gasped, only one person knew about the 2 of them.
"No one had to tell me." he said, matter of fact. "As far as I could tell it must have ended sometime before he started seeing Jessica".
"Ugh, did everyone know"? Lucy was horrified at the thought people would have talked about it, not to mention they'd lied about it on an official IA report.
"I don't know about everyone, but Lopez and I definitely did. Bishop too probably".
"Bishop is the one who convinced me it was a bad idea to be a rookie dating another cop". she started "then eventually I realized she was right, and as it turned out John and I were better as friends". She left out the part of John Nolan really being the first man she'd considered someone she really loved. It might have gone on longer if they had let it. She was happy with the way things were now, but it had taken time to get to that point.
"Bishop was right about one thing" Tim started "It is not a good idea for a rookie to be dating another cop. Aside from rules against it, there's the stigma that maybe you wouldn't have gotten through training on your own merits, and that might follow you your whole career" he spoke in a somber voice. "It would've been much worse for you than it ever would've been for Nolan". He left out the part about Bishop having dated a married cop on the DL, and that she'd taken some shit for that. Probably why she was warning Lucy to just avoid the whole thing.
"And after training is done"? She asked. "What was it like for you and Isabel"?
He pulled her a little closer to him, subconsciously, as they walked. "Worse for Isabel, but she was strong, she had to work twice as hard to prove herself, and it helped that we went to different areas after training, so some people didn't even know we were together at first". The more real this got, he knew he had to paint a real picture that it would not help either one of their careers, and IF this was turning into something, she needed to see the whole picture.
As they walked Lucy couldn't help but wonder if this difficulty had anything to do with Isabel becoming addicted to heroin on the job. Were there things going on she didn't even share with Tim, had she tried to escape through the drug? If it weren't so awkward she'd love to be able to reach out and talk to Isabel. That was probably never going to happen. What would she even say? 'I think I'm falling in love with your ex husband, can you give me some insight on what it was like for you being with another cop'? No, that wasn't happening. She hadn't thought about what Isabel would think of the two of them together. Would she think Tim was making a mistake? Would she think Lucy was part of why they got divorced? She pushed those thoughts out of her mind, this wasn't even a thing yet, she would wait and worry about that if and when the time comes. There were enough issues right now without her adding more.
Reaching the house Lucy's stomach growled "Okay, food, I need food" she said.
Tim smiled "Go ahead" he motioned to the stairs so she could shower first.
"Okay, I'll be quick" she said taking the stairs 2 at a time.
Tim watched her, smiling.
True to her word, she came bounding down the stairs 20 minutes later, wearing leggings and his sweatshirt, not one supplied by their undercover wardrobe, but the San Francisco 49ers one he just happened to have with him the morning they'd been chosen for the assignment. He stared as she walked past him to get her other pair of running shoes she'd left by the door. He thought she'd never looked more beautiful than right this minute. Her curly wet hair staining the sweatshirt, still no makeup on, rebelliously not wearing anything they'd given her except the shoes. Isabel loved wearing his shirts and sweatshirts when they'd first gotten together. She'd once told him it made her feel close to him and that his clothes smelled like him, not to mention if they were out together, everyone would know they were together. For Lucy the fake wedding ring was enough to convince any outsider. He wondered if her reasons were more similar to Isabel's.
"Comfortable"? he asked eyebrows raised, starting to put his TO voice on, without really meaning to, but it was a way to keep his voice from cracking.
"Very" she said smiling back at him, completely unphased by that voice anymore. "You don't mind do you"?
He cleared his throat "Uh, no, it looks far better on you than it does on me". She started putting her shoes on, and told him "Hurry, I'm starving".
When he came back down she had her feet up in the chair closest to the deck, drinking another cup of coffee and looking out towards the ocean but definitely lost in thought.
"Ready"? He asked, grabbing the keys to the Range Rover.
"Would you mind if I drive"? she was dying to take the little Datsun out for a spin.
"Sure" He smiled. He was surprised it had taken this long before she took it for a test drive "Let me make sure we have the phone number for AAA ready first".
She threw a pillow from the chair at him. A few minutes later they were on the PCH driving towards the pier, Tim nervously grabbed the top where the T-Top had been pulled out and his other hand was already grabbing the back of her headrest to hold on.
"You know we're undercover, if you get a ticket for speeding, you can't play the cop card". Just to appease Tim she eased up on the gas. Lucy felt completely relaxed, and turned the radio on. Matt Kearney's melodic voice was singing about watching the world around fly by. It was a perfect day for a drive, she only wished it was a longer ride.
They made it to the pier in just a few minutes, the restaurant appeared to just start a busy rush and they were lucky enough to get a table outside right away before the wait started. Lucy ordered pancakes, turkey bacon, 2 eggs scrambled with cheese, toast, and a side of fruit. Tim raised his eyebrows at her order, then ordered eggs, bacon and toast.
After they both got their coffee and water and were alone again she straightened up in her chair.
"Okay, I have a question for you now". she said and looked up at him. "Something I've wondered for a while".
He nodded towards her, leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms and waited to hear.
"You found my ring" she looked down at her hand, even though she didn't have the ring on, or even with her. "That day. It was you. Out of the acres of desert surrounding that house, of course it would have been you that found the location, saw my ring and that led you to me" she paused. "But you didn't give it back to me for over a month...howcome"? He had told her the ring was what led her to him that first day in the hospital. After Nolan and Jackson left. He'd told her how he knew she'd left the ring for them to find, but before he could completely finish that story, Lopez and Wesley came in, followed by her parents. He'd finally left once her parents could make it back from the vacation they'd been on when she was taken. She just assumed it got dropped, or was left out there that day because he hadn't given it back to her. Then that day in the weight room he walked out, but thought better of it and ended up coming back. After a heart to heart that had really touched her and made her cry, he gave it back. She looked from her hand up to him. He was looking down at her hands as well.
Tim had wondered why she didn't ask him before now why he'd held onto the ring. That day, as soon as he realized she was there, under the ground, he had thrown the ring down in his panic to reach her. When they were getting her on the stretcher to load into the ambulance, he'd noticed it on the ground again. Knowing she'd want it back, he pocketed it on his way to jump into the ambulance. He didn't give it another thought until hours later. He had gotten Rachel to stop by his place and bring him a change of clothes so he could stay at the hospital with Lucy. The nurses let him use their locker room to get a quick shower and change while they had Lucy down getting a Cat-Scan. He'd realized it was still in his pocket. He was going to give it back to her when she woke, but people kept coming in and out and he just didn't.
He didn't think he was ready to tell her the whole truth about the ring. It hadn't started out a conscious decision to keep it. He wasn't ready to tell her that looking back, he thinks it was a way for him to keep her close to him... He'd kept it in a bowl on his dresser. Every morning when he grabbed his watch from the same bowl, and every night when put the watch back in he would look a it, sometimes pick it up and feel the weight. It went on for a while like that. Then finally one morning he decided that was the day he'd bring it back to her so he brought it into work. It sat in his locker that whole day, and came right back home with him that night. Another few weeks like that, then finally he'd seen her that day beating herself up as badly as she was beating that heavy bag. He'd seen that tattoo peek out from under her shirt, and it made him physically ill imagining Caleb tying her down, tattooing her, and planning her death. As much as it upset him, it was obviously a million times worse for Lucy.
That's why he chose that day to not only tell her he didn't see her as a victim, but finally give her the ring back. In that moment after he tossed the ring to her, he was sure she'd ask why he waited, but the tears in her eyes told him she couldn't have gotten the words out even if she tried.
He leaned forward onto the table with his forearms and looked out over the ocean.
He shook his head "I meant to give it back to you the next day, I really did". He started, looking down at his own hands now. "Then I thought, wait until you could go home so it wouldn't get lost in the hospital". He paused there, trying to figure out the right way to explain it to her. "Then I thought no, when you got back to work, I'd hold onto it for you until then...but I kept it...until that day" He looked up, holding her gaze. "You needed it back. You needed a reminder that YOU saved yourself, and I knew it was the right time to give it back..." There was a longer pause and then he said it. "Even if it meant I couldn't have it anymore".
Lucy's eyes filled with tears, again. She realized she'd been hoping the reason he held onto it was the same reason she wanted to wear his sweatshirt. Anything that made her feel closer to him...she knew that had to be hard for him to say. Their weekend of finding more about each other so they could appear to be an old married couple was turning into finding out and admitting how they both had these feelings.
After a few seconds, tear finally managed to break free, and he reached up to catch it before it fell down her cheek. She reached up and took his hand in both of hers, bringing it back down to the table, and he brought his other hand to cover hers.
