"So, are you ready to be stitched up now, Ani?"

You held up a hand full of colourful bacta-patches. You'd even found a few with podracers on them much to Anakin's delight. You didn't have the heart to tell him there wasn't actually anything needing to stitching, however, if pretending was making this more fun for him then why shouldn't you?

He took it bravely, not even wincing at the sting of the Bacta on his skin.

You plastered another smooch on Anakin's cheek, making him giggle.

"Here. All done my little brat. Now you can shoo off and open the present you wanted to save up for later."

And you had been right. Anakin did like the droid you bought him While he'd have to fix a lot until it'd get running again, he was happy. You hadn't disappointed him. Relief.

"Thank you!"

You smiled back at him, for once content with the life you'd been given here. As long as Anakin was happy, you'd be to.

"Can we go pick up Snowy from the doctor now?"

You chuckled. "Anakin, it's only been an hour. We can visit her soon, alright? Be patient."

"I am patient," Anakin protested.

"Sure you are, having waited for your presents for so long. Surely you... can wait a bit longer for your cat."

You frowned. There was that nasty feeling of having forgotten about something in the forefront of your mind. You shrugged. If you'd forgotten it, it certainly could not have been that important.

"Why are you scrunching your face like that?"

"Nothing, Ani," you snorted. Already five and such a mouthful. "You can go watch some holo-tv if you want or begin working on your little droid over there." You nodded towards the little assembly of yellow parts. "I'll stay here being all grumpy by myself."

Then something clicked. Oh right!

"Ani, wait! Oh god I'd totally forgotten."

You fished the present Ahsala had given you for Anakin out of it's hiding place in the cupboards, weighing it carefully with your hands. It wasn't too heavy. Rather it wasn't heavy at all, so what was it? You had to admit you were curious.

"This is from Ahsala. You know the nice lady we always get our groceries from," you supplied, knowing exactly that Anakin probably did not remember.

Anakin ripped into the packaging like a feral animal.

"Say thank you the next time we see her."

"Yes, Ma!" He was most likely rolling his eyes.

You activated your datapad, smiling to yourself as you were about to take a few pictures for the family photo album, and almost dropped it at the sight of the of the blaster in Anakin's hands.

"Oh no. Oh no no no."

You took the blaster right out of Anakin's hand, stuffing it back into the packaging immediately..

"You won't get to have that in a while," you said sternly. "Sorry, Ani. But you know why."

If there was one rule in this house you would upkeep than it would most definitely be: No weapons in remote proximity of Anakin. There was a reason why you didn't let you blaster lie out in the open anymore. The one time Anakin had gotten his hands on it when he was three you barely managed to stop him from accidentally blasting his own head off. He'd cried for hours after you'd hit the blaster out of his grubby little toddler hands and you'd gladly refrain from ever going through such an event again.

You counted yourself lucky he wasn't throwing a temper tantrum now. You hadn't had one of those in a while.

Still, this was very much awkward. Even you could admit that.

"Ma, I'm hungry," Anakin said, eyeing the fridge. "Can I have some cake?"

"Sure you can."

You were glad he'd provided you with an out and you were pretty sure he'd done that on purpose.

While Anakin wolfed down the last pieces of his birthday cake (a tradition you'd brought with you from Earth) watching his favorite show on the holo-tv, you filled your bowl with another portion of your wonderful Tatooinian stew. The rich taste of spices even made you salivate a bit. It wasn't as good as your mom's but you were extremely proud of it.

You sat down on the couch and placed your bowl on the table. You wouldn't try your luck of not accidentally spilling something on yourself or the cushions.

Then you addressed Anakin.

"You can go knock across the hallway and ask Mrs. Rediei if she wants to come over to eat with us. Since she's always here helping me out and watching over you."

Anakin nodded.

"Will do!"

"But," you added. "Don't be too loud when closing the door, alright? You know how our neighbours like to complain about noise."

Even though they've been the ones being loud for more than five years.

You were about to raise the spoon to your mouth- When you heard Anakin crying, screaming for you. You didn't hesitate a second, springing up immediately to grab your blaster from it's hiding space underneath the couch, and stormed out of the apartment door.

The scene you came across made your blood boil.

Anakin was cowering in a lone corner of the hallway as a big neon green lizard sat in front of him, hissing and showing a strong array of very sharp looking teeth. You recognized it. It belonged to your neighbours, the very same ones that didn't know the meaning of the word 'quiet'. You scowled. That was just lovely.

You lowered your blaster. You really didn't want to start a conflict by getting rid of the lizard.

But that didn't mean you wouldn't intimidate it through your size and the volume of your voice.

"Hey!" you screamed and locked eyes with it. You took another step towards them and shouted once more as you came nearer. That was enough for it, it scuttled off into another hallway faster than you could look, leaving only you and Anakin in the dimly lit hallway.

You pulled your son up by your hand. "Are you alright?" you asked.

You glanced over him. No bites or scratches. Only the ones from earlier. "Are you hurt?"

Anakin sniffed and shook his head.

"Come, Anakin." You tugged him back to the open door of the apartment by his shoulder. "We'll visit her another day. I think we over-tried our luck for one day."

"But, Ma! It's not my fault!" Anakin cried.

"No, Ani, it's not your fault and I didn't say it was a punishment. I'm just done and I don't want to start fighting because you haven't done anything and I know that, so please just come back inside. Let's not do this today."

The next hours were a nightmare.

It was late at night when you finally got to close your eyes and lie in bed.

You mentally went through the events that had transpired today and were planing your to do list for tomorrow as well. It was a relaxing task, or rather for you. It was almost as good as flying your ship. Oh, you hadn't done that in so long, you sighed. One day you would again, you and Anakin, and then you were going to show him the galaxy.

The quiet was nice. Having room to hear your own thoughts was even better.

You would drop by the vet to check on the cat tomorrow and the day after that you would as well. Until the small kitten was healthy enough to be taken home. But for now you'd sleep.

Yet the soothing quiet didn't follow you into your dreams.

A tear in the nights sky, cracks, falling apart. The lights illuminating it ceasing one by one, slowly, until the last vanished, leaving you behind.

And then you were ripped into life again.

You dreamt of dying.

In the morning you awoke to the putrid smell of smoke and a fire in your kitchen.

Anakin had tried to make breakfast for you on his own. Luckily you woke up early enough to put out the burning eggs in the pan before the fire extended to more than just the stove.

When it was all done you finally felt the exhaustion of the last days creep into you. The Force, Anakin being lost, the dog, the fire... Everything. You were tired and you desperately wanted to cry. But you know you couldn't.

"Anakin, please," you begged. "What did I tell you about going into the kitchen on your own?"

Anakin mumbled something ineligible.

"What?" you inquired firmly.

"I am not allowed to touch the stove."

"Then why didn't you listen? I thought we agreed to behave. Did you forget about that?"

"I don't know."

You sighed. "Go sit over there," you gestured towards the living room. "On the couch while I clean this up." The first tendrils of a headache crept up into your mind as you struggled to withhold your subdued anger. Screaming at him would never be an option and neither would crying, even if you really wanted to. But you had already cried so much over the last days that you doubted there were any left to spill.

You couldn't look Anakin in the eyes.

"Just be... just be quiet."

You weren't enough to take care of him alone. You couldn't be there twenty four seven, the last two days had already shown you that. No not shown - you'd already suspected it before that you were failing. These last days had just given you more reason to believe so. You couldn't go on like this - you couldn't let him suffer under your irregular lifestyle any longer. Your conscience wouldn't allow it.

He had to have some stability in his life. Even if he wouldn't see it that way, might consider it you pushing him away...

"How about..." you started.

You watched Anakin gulping down a cup of tea. If only he knew what a terrible life would have awaited him if... You would never understand why. Why any of this was happening. For what reason. Why had you been sent here? It all seemed so meaningless, so stupid and yet you were here.

And yet you were here... Neither of which was Anakin's fault but sometimes in the darkest most desperate corners of your heart you couldn't help but wonder if it wasn't somehow his fault that you were here. That his mother died when she should have lived for twenty more years. And then you'd feel guilt, just like you were feeling now just watching him existing totally obvious to the dangers outside of the small constellation of his universe. He was innocent and he was your son. A son you'd protect with your life. But also a son who deserved better.

"How about I sent you to school a year early? Would you like that? Being around kids your own age. And," you added as your heart clenched around itself tightly, "You wouldn't be on your own so often. It wouldn't be so quiet around here if you were happier and you deserve more than this cold, lonely silence."

The new term rooster Anakin could join would start in three months, since on Naboo every three months a new rooster of students would begin school.

They had enough teachers and enough students plus tutelages from other Republic planets. And a government with it's focus on education for millennia's. No other planet had sovereigns barely into their teens, it was a testament to Naboo's strength.

At first it had seemed weird to you, if you were being honest. Back on Earth things had not worked like this. But on the other hand in your first life there had not remotely been a place as prosperous as Naboo. It still seemed strange to you none the less. In some ways Earth was still ingrained within you, but it wasn't your home anymore.

This was the right choice.

Three months until the beginning of the end, a voice in the back of your mind whispered.

You ignored it. Because a small part of you did believe in a happy ending.


AN: This chapter is dedicated to the awesome Ohgodmyeyes on Ao3 who is a literal godsend. Send her some love if you want to :)

I hope Readers emotions came across believable. The events of the last three chapters all happened over the cause of two days which is a lot to deal with. So please don't judge her too hard.

We have at most five chapters left of five year old Ani. Those will be coveringsome of the events during three months until he begins school and establish some of Anakin's core memories. After that there's going to be a time skip of four years, however, I'll say that again later on lmao

I mentioned it once before but : There are going to be a few time skips throughout the story, so please don't be startled.

I want to focus on multiple phases of Anakin's development through the years and not go through every year in excruciating detail, one reason being that the majority of the story is going to focus on teenage/young adult Anakin (but it's still a long way till there)

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Btw, I started a new tumblr account just for writing. If anyone wants to talk, exchange headcanons, has questions or just wants to scream at me to update regularly lmao: my you'll find me there lmao

I'll be posting there either way to keep myself motivated to actually begin to follow a regular upload schedule.

There will probably be some sneak peeks there for future chapters and other stories. :)The username is the same as I use here