Please read the new author's note at the end of the chapter.

"Put on your shoes," you called over your shoulder at Anakin who was sitting on his bedroom floor, completely immersed in the task of fixing his droid. It hadn't surprised you for him to be this passionate about it, however, ever since you got back from the beach earlier today he'd been working on it non stop.

"But why?" he complained, eyes fixating on a loose wire.

You slipped into your boots. "Because someone-" Where was your coat? You walked back into the living-room. It was right where you'd left it, on the couch.

You walked back into Anakin's room. He had not moved an inch.

You started again. "Someone seems to have forgotten about the cat we're going to pick up. I told you we were going to the vet after we've come home and eaten."

Anakin scrunched his eyebrows together.

"Do I have to?"

"Wasn't it you who risked it all by climbing into a rose bush, Ani? So, don't frown like this too."

Another wire was torn out by his hands, making you wince.

"I don't want to go, Ma!" He crossed his arms. "Can't I just stay here?"

You straightened your collar. "Not with that attitude. If you'd rather not come with me to get the cat you wanted, then you can stay at Mrs. Rediei's. place until I come back to pick you up, but only if she allows you to. If she's busy you will be coming with me and there'll be no discussion about it."

He stood up wordlessly, a scowl on his face you would have to ignore. Yet he did go on to step into his shoes and wait by the door of your apartment.

You could feel your lips tear under the strength of your teeth, leaving behind the metallic taste of blood. How had you'd gotten so used to in this life? Your hands brushed over the skin of your face. Had you done something wrong? Was it something you did? The pit in your stomach wouldn't disappear, it only grew. Leaving you uncomfortable, tired, afraid

A constant up and down.

You dropped Anakin off at Mrs. Rediei's apartment door without any incident. Even though you were annoyed with him, you didn't want to leave without a real goodbye.

You opened up your arms. But your mind was still closed, processing and thinking off his behavior today. Everything had started off so nice on the beach. What had changed?

"Will you behave?" you whispered.

"Yes."

"Then I won't have to worry," you said as you gave him a soft squeeze.

You took a step back, watching him with an uncertain smile as he stepped into the apartment that wasn't yours yet was almost his second home, felt your shoulders drop. And then you went out and down the hallway.

Half an hour later you were at the vet's office, watching a small white cat licking it's paws gleefully while you checked it out. Healthy and clean. There seemed to be no resemblance to the one Anakin had held so deeply in his arms only a short while ago, yet, yet it was one and the same. Now it would be yours.

"You like me, don't you?" You tickled Snowy's chin. "I've been visiting for a week, I think it's finally time for you to come home with me. Yes, we're going home."

_ •

You felt the couch budge beneath a foreign weight. You let your eyes fall down at the culprit, the one to disturb you from reading. The cat.

"Oh now you want to cuddle?" Snowy only purred in response.

"Alright, but don't get used to it."

So you let her rest on your lap as you continued reading on your datapad.

It was nice.

A creak, a thud and then a voice. "I'm back!"

Anakin must have come home.

"Pshht," you cooed and softly pushed Snowy off you. "It's alright- you can go explore now."

"I'm over here," you called and got up to greet him.

_

You sat down on the kitchen floor and began typing out a message on your comm. You couldn't use your datapad for this, doing so would only entice you further to continuously check up on Tatooine. You'd write them anonymously, they wouldn't ever have to know it was you. You just needed to know what was going on-

Snowy mewled somewhere in the back of the room.

"Anakin, not so rough."

But the mewling returned.

You sighed. There's never a moment of your own is there? This time you shut your datapad off and let your head turn towards the sound. Won't he ever listen to-

Anakin sat on the couch, hands gripping tightly to Snowy's fur. Not stroking lovingly, just holding her as his fingers pressed into the flesh. Eyes staring down at her, observing every reaction, every flinch, every reaction.

You took the cat out of his arms and into your own, the small body instantly melting into you.

"Anakin..." There were no words. "You- you can't act like this, this is your pet and your responsibility. Remember? You promised to take care of her, didn't you?"

You let Snowy back down, allowing her to stalk away.

"Talk to me, Ani. What is going on?"

You saw him eyeing the cat, his fingers twirling as if he didn't know what to with them, only to break out into sniffles. So quiet one could have missed them.

"Ani," you took his hand. "Don't cry, I only want to talk, I'm not screaming and I'm not shouting. So please... don' cry. I hate it when you do that, it only makes me start crying myself."

Anakin nodded. His fingers began wiping at his cheeks, his eyes, his entire face. Trying to stifle his cries.

"Why are you crying?"

"I don't want things to change."

"But, Ani, things will always change. That doesn't mean I'll begin loving you less just because we got a cat. I couldn't ever. No matter what's going to happen," you let go of him to point at his heart. "I'll be at your side. I've been ever since I met you and your- your mother and I will be for as long as you'll have me."

You cupped his cheeks in between your hands.

"So work with me on this and stop misbehaving. Stop taking your anger out on Snowy and on me. I can't read your mind and I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong. Remember how you truly feel, Anakin. You don't hate me or her and neither do we you. Look, tomorrow Snowy might not be your best friend, however, she'll grow to love you. Love her back, it's what you do best."

"I will, Ma."

There was no way to tell what was going on inside his mind at that very moment. Even years later you would wonder as you thought back to this scene, this moment in life.


Author's Note:

Hello readers! Some of you may have been wondering about why I haven't been updating or why I'm not posting any of my other stories on this site.

I am sorry to tell you this but I will be solely continuing my stories on ao3. I cannot go on like this and I am very sorry that it has come this far. They are not discontinued or abandoned.

There are multiple reasons for this but the biggest three are my ongoing battle with depression and anxiety, my real life obligations and lastly itself.

I dislike they way this site is structured, simply publishing a story needs multiple complicated steps and even then the doc manager us authors have to use is very restricting. This site hasn't had a real update in ages, the code and interface is outdated and even responding to comments is made unnecessarily complicated. I wish I could simply answer without either having to fill a pm or reply on authors note - just like comment chains work on other sites besides here.

Further, I literally cannot upload any of my new stories on the site - I've been getting 500 errors for months by now and it's very discouraging. It means I can only update my current stories and not post any new ones.

However, I feel really guilty and sorry to say this but I can't stay updating here. I will continue writing my WIPs on my Ao3 account under the same name "Itohan". I primarily use Ao3 and have been cross posting here. Just the thought of going through the updating process on this site gives me such bad anxiety just like the thought of disappointing you, the readers, by not updating anything anymore.

But I cannot force myself to use this site anymore just out of guilt of disappointing people. I've thought of deleting my stories and being done with them here for months, however, as if someone was reading my mind I'd always get a nice review around that time that would stop me from doing so. Because I would then feel guilt that I'd be robbing you of you entertainment. I've had authors whose stories I've loved delete their stories and I remember how sad I was about it.

I don't want to do the same thing.

But I also can't stay here.

I am thankful for all of you who have made it this far and followed my stories. It has brought me a lot of joy and was the reason why I stayed for longer than I wanted to, because I liked making you happy.

If you want to continue reading please visit my Ao3 account that is also called "Itohan", there I will be updating them further.

Thank you for reading,

Itohan