Sean Aspen, District 7

"Lord, I don't know if I'll ever be back again."

The Decemberists, The Legionnaire's Lament


Dear Acacia,

I don't know why I'm writing this letter because I never had the courage to talk to you at school. You deserve to know that I love you. You've always been so kind to me, even though I was a mess.

I'm on the train now. I've met Nathaniel Bloom. He's really nice. He says I can call him Nate. Norah Blossom is also there and also very nice but she's more interested in Lawna than me, which is understandable. If you're sad at all that I'm going to die, remember that I got to meet my heroes. I know that District 7 doesn't have the most impressive pair of victors but, since they're both decent people, I admire them more than I admire the Careers.

I've seen the reaping recap and I'm honestly scared of who I'm going into the arena with. Apart from the Twenty-Ninth Games (who knows what the gamemakers were thinking) all the games since Norah's seem to have been won by Careers, athletes and... whatever Lachesis Dumont was. All the Careers seem to be very confident this year. I hate the idea of fighting. I'm planning to focus more on survival and alliance and hope that everyone else will just drop dead.

I just really don't want to die. I guess that's a pretty obvious thing to think. It helps to write it all down on paper, even if I have no idea if you'll be bothered to read this.

Lots of love,

Sean


Dear Acacia,

Did you watch the parade?

Why am I asking you this? You probably did watch the parade unless you've suddenly gone blind and how could you read this if you've gone blind?

Anyway, you'll know that I was dressed as a tree and I didn't look very good but I never look very good anyway. There's nothing new.

We've moved into the Training Centre. It's really cool how we get a floor to ourselves but it's kind of lonely. Norah had to leave because she had a doctor's appointment and then Nate went and locked himself in the bathroom. I think he's crying. I'd like to help him but I think he needs some space. That just let me and Lawna alone, where it occurred to me that she is a lot smaller than I am.

I'm not quite sure how to act around my district partner. We have nothing in common and we're both all too aware that we're going into a death match. It would be helpful if there was one particular strategy that tributes had to follow with their district partner. Nate was in an alliance with his district partner, which was so strong that she killed herself to save him. Norah just ignored her district partner and did her own thing. And those are just two victors out of thirty-one.

Whatever Lawna and I do, at least one of us is going to end up dead.

At least the District 7 floor is nice. I spent the time I had until dinner checking out all the freaky-looking pot plants they've put in the corners. I even sat down on the carpet (it's a really nice carpet) and drew a few pictures of them. I'm not the best artist but I hope you like them.

I'm glad that the Capitol actually treat us nicely before we all get killed.

Well, all but one. It probably won't be me.

Lots of love,

Sean


Dear Acacia,

I'm feeling a little bit more confident after training. I've made an alliance with Enrique from Ten. He's about my age. District 10 sounds like a totally different environment to District 7, which will help us in the arena. Whatever it is, one of us will be able to handle it.

I offered Lawna a spot in the alliance but she's teamed up with the boy from Eight, another one of the younger tributes. I suppose she's so young that she'd feel like the weakest link teaming up with two seventeen-year-old boys.

I think I'd be able to survive long enough to win if I didn't have to worry about the other tributes in the arena. The Careers spent most of training showing off with weapons and bullying the younger kids. Luckily, they avoided my alliance because we're the biggest outliers and we kept ourselves to ourselves. We're not easy prey but we're not a threat, either, which means we survived training unharmed.

I don't think the Careers will leave us alone in the arena, though. I threw a few axes for my private session. I thought I'd be okay, since I've worked shifts at a lumber yard, but apparently I'm a lot better than okay. I scored an eight. Enrique scored a nine.

That means that he'll probably be a bigger target than me. I think that's a good thing. I'm not even in the arena and I already feel selfish.

Lots of love,

Sean


Dear Acacia,

I'm sorry for mentioning you in my interview. I was so scared. I just couldn't think of what to say. Please forgive me if people start teasing you at school, or if people come over from the Capitol to interview you and it causes a massive fuss. I'm probably going to die, anyway. In a couple of years, everyone will have forgotten about me.

Nate tells me that I did a good job with the hopeless romantic angle and that I'll get a lot of sponsors. I don't think I did. It was the scariest moment of my life, even scarier than being reaped. There were all these bright lights shining on me and the audience were so loud. It was so overwhelming. I could hardly breathe, let alone speak.

If I can't make it through the interviews without freaking out, how on earth am I going to survive the games?

I'm going into the games tomorrow. I've asked for a notebook and pen to be my district token, so I can write to you when I'm in the arena. I think the gamemakers have cleared it but I could die before I have the chance to write another letter. This one could be my last.

I hope you don't miss me too much. I've made peace with the fact that I'm going to die but I don't want to let you down.

I love you. I always will.

Sean


Dear Acacia,

I've survived the first day.

We're in this sandy desert. You've probably seen what it's like. Enrique says it's not that different to the plains of District 10. He showed me how to get water from a cactus. The heat is awful. I was constantly sweating all day but things are cooler at night.

Seven people died in the bloodbath. The heat really slowed the Careers down. I grabbed an axe in the bloodbath. Enrique has a knife and a coil of rope. If the Careers found us now, we'd be able to put up a fight.

I'm not sure that I'd want to, though. I still don't know if I can bring myself to hurt someone.

Lawna died in the bloodbath. I saw her face in the sky. I felt a little sad that she'd never got much of a chance at life but I can't say I've done much more in the four more years I've had alive. I suppose it puts an end to my uncertainty over how to act around her, now that she's dead.

But that's a cold way of thinking.

I wonder who killed her. I couldn't see who did it in all the chaos. It was so hectic. There was so much blood and movement. I was running on animal instincts. All I thought about was getting an axe and getting out of there.

I still can't believe I survived that.

Still thinking of you,

Sean


Dear Acacia,

I'm in the top ten. That was quick!

I'm not sure how people managed to die so quickly. I think it's because of dehydration. The only people left apart from us are the Careers, who got all the water at the Cornucopia, Enrique's district partner, who probably knows the same cacti trick as us, and the boy from Eleven, who's good-looking enough to get sponsored some water.

Enrique has a plan to kill the Careers. We're going to poison their water. Venturing into their camp will be risky but, if we take out the six most dangerous tributes in the arena, it'll be worth it.

It's scary, having hope. I know I have so much to lose if this goes wrong. I could never see you again.

But I still have hope.

Lots of love,

Sean


Dear Acacia,

I just killed a girl.

The Careers went hunting so Enrique and I made a move to poison their water supply. You probably saw what happened on TV. They'd left the girl from One on guard and she looked right at me with big, empty, blue eyes. I wasn't sure what she was thinking, whether she was frightened at all or whether she just saw me as another kill. I just threw my axe...

It wasn't like I expected. I don't think I can articulate how it felt when her cannon fired.

When the Careers came back, I had to recover quickly. Enrique managed to catch one one of them with a lasso and stab them. I panicked as I ran away and slashed at one of them with my axe. There was only one cannon so I think I just injured him. I was so confused.

We got away. Enrique got hit by an arrow but it's nothing serious. Just a flesh wound. Now we just need to hope that the Careers die and we'll be the toughest tributes in the arena.

It scares me that I'm hoping for five kids to die. What scares me even more is what might happen if Enrique and I are the only tributes left.

What scares me the most is that I could win this. I could win the Hunger Games.

And I can't stop thinking about it.

Lots of love,

Sean


Dear Acacia,

Enrique's dead.

There were some eagle mutts. I don't know why they targeted him instead of me, seeing as he's a lot more impressive than me. Maybe the scent of blood from his wound made them go crazy.

I couldn't save him.

I know that Enrique was dangerous. He was smart and tough and ruthless and our alliance was only going to last so long. But it's so lonely in the desert. You've probably been better at keeping track of the deaths than me but there were a lot of cannons today. I think I'm in the final two.

I think I'll be coming home.

I miss District 7 so much. There are all these little everyday things I never thought I'd miss, like rain and mud and the sound of saws. Then there are the things that I loved so much about home - my parents, home-cooked meals, the wind in the trees, you...

It feels like I haven't seen any of those things for an eternity.

I'm tired and scared, covered in sand and sunburn. I just want to come home.

Hope to see you soon,

Sean


Dear Acacia,

I'm in hospital, recovering from my games. I know the finale took it out of me. I was so exhausted, I could hardly bring myself to track down the boy from Eleven. Part of me expected him to put up a fight.

But he never got the chance. I chopped his head off while he slept. I'll never forget the look on his face. He was so peaceful.

I don't think I'll ever be able to sleep so peacefully again.

I asked Nate how many people I'd killed. He told me that the official number was two - the girl from One and the boy from Eleven. He wouldn't look me in the eye.

I felt like a murderer.

Norah came to see me. She told me that Nate was unsettled after she'd won. I wasn't the only one. Nate just found it hard to see a good reason to kill anyone. She also gave me a piece of paper and some coloured pencils so I could draw more plants. I've included the pictures I drew. I think they're a little better than last time.

I'm grateful for all your letters, Acacia. They make me feel human. I've read them all several times because it's the one of the best things I can do while I'm still in hospital. I can't wait to come home so we can talk in person. I won't be such a mess this time, I promise.

Lots of love,

Sean


I may have named Sean after someone famous. What can I say? I like naming characters after references. Sean's a solid, dependable guy. A little shy but definitely nice. He was the first of District 7's victors to use an axe, which will come to be a pretty major weapon among that district's victors. Not all of them will be as nice as Sean.

Speaking of not so nice victors, I've got someone canon planned for next chapter. See if you can guess who they'll be. Maybe next chapter will lend a bit of an explanation as to why they were taken out so early in Catching Fire.