Coping With Silence
Chapter 2
As wishes may inspire dreams, so dreams may inspire wishes
-Anonymous
Xxx
Screams echoed against the four walls which made up the 7th year male dormitory.
Deep, harrowing sounds which caused both Blaise and Draco's eyes to fly open the moment the sounds reached their ears. Blaise threw the blanket off of his body, jumping from his bed and grabbing his wand from his bedside table. Draco, who had fallen asleep in Theodore Nott's old bed, copied his best friend's actions silently.
Standing in the room in only sweatpants and tshirts, both teens wiped sleep from their eyes as they tried to pinpoint where the screaming was coming from. Eyes wide and post-War reflexes still natural, both Blaise and Draco knew the proper procedure when one was woken from slumber by screams.
Take in your surroundings.
Keep a level head.
Don't be rash.
A hand went to Blaise's shoulder, causing the Italian wizard to glance to his left. "Look," Draco said softly, lowering his wand. Following his friend's gaze, Blaise too was soon lowering his weapon. Walking towards where he typically slept, Blaise fell to his knees at the side of his proper bed; hands reaching for the figure residing in it.
"Oh, Mia," he said softly, shortening the witch's name for no other reason other than he was overcome with thoughts.
On his bed, Hermione Granger was writhing in what appeared to be agony. If they hadn't known her to be free of cruciatus casting, they'd worry she was being tortured again. Tears streamed down her face, and her body had fully tensed, despite being fully asleep. Agony, fear, and true pain were emotions evident on the poor woman's face.
"What should we do?" Draco questioned, concern and awkwardness forming on his face. "Are you supposed to wake someone who's having a nightmare?"
"When it's this bad, it would be more cruel to let them continue," Blaise replied. Raising his hands to Hermione's shoulders, he shook her gently, "Hermione...Hermione, you need to wake up. Hermione...Hermione, you're safe."
The screaming continued, eating into the very depths of both their souls. Draco, moved out of Blaise's line of sight a moment, before returning quickly holding a small, porcelain item in his hands. Twisting a small dial at the side, a soft melody began to play.
"My mother gave me this music box to fight homesickness my first year here. I've played it every night that I've sought comfort." Placing the music box beside Hermione's bedside, Draco took a deep breath before climbing into Hermione's bed once again. Pulling her blanket back, he pulled the pained woman into his side."You're safe," he whispered. Raising a hand, Blaise brushed her wild hair away, having gotten sodden with her tears. "We promise, Mia...you're safe."
It took two more minutes of being held, accompanied with Draco's music box and Blaise's careful caresses, but Hermione's eyes soon opened. Shuddering, her head flailed slightly in confusion. Taking a deep breath, deep brown eyes adjusted to the light in the room and something seemingly "clicked" inside of her, reminding Hermione where she was.
Glancing up, brilliant grey eyes stared back at her.
"Hey there," Draco said softly.
"You okay?" Blaise questioned, drawing Hermione's attention to him as well. Shuddering once more, Hermione slowly rose herself from Draco's embrace. Ignoring the awkwardness of falling asleep in jeans, she rubbed her sore, dry eyes.
"I remember bits and pieces," glancing at the hands she was balling in her lap, Hermione dug her fingernails into her palm. "Harry told me that I had nightmares regularly since I was injured in the Department of Mysteries. It got a lot worse though, when we managed to leave your...home," she finished, refusing to look Draco in the eyes.
"I tried my hardest to keep you from harm. I truly did. When she carved that into your skin, and realizing I'd been calling you the same thing for almost a decade...it broke me inside." Draco reached forward and held onto her tightening fists, "We get nightmares too," he stated, gesturing at Blaise. "Ours though, aren't nearly on a degree similar to what you just went through."
"Harry laid with me at night, more often than not when we were on the run. It helped to keep the nightmares at bay. Sometimes Ron would, but he started getting too possessive. I think it, well, was leading him to grow theories of us forming a relationship."
"Did it help? When Harry or Ron would lay with you? Did it make your nightmares stop?"
Giving a considering look to the darker skinned teen, Hermione nodded, "Being alone makes them worse, certainly. Having someone there-someone who can help me feel, well, safe...it makes the nightmares a lot easier."
Seeing her face begin to contort in pain, Blaise's heart truly broke for the woman in his bed. His own nightmares stemmed from the beatings he had to suffer at the hands of the upperclassmen and the Carrow's; from the Death Eater's threatening his mother; from watching Draco walk into potential death. He hadn't actually stood at Death's door like Hermione had, and faced off on the other side as Voldemort. Glancing at Draco, he knew the other teen felt similar. Having to kill in order to save his mother, and keep his father alive in the process, Draco had aged considerably. When the War ended, Blaise had worried that Draco had seen and done too much to be able to show this level of compassion to a woman such as Hermione. Yet...here they were.
"Would you like another hug? Or do you want space?" Draco questioned her, beginning to move his body away. A whispered, "Hug please," had him wrapping his arms around her torso from behind and pulling her closer to his chest.
"It isn't fair, is it?" She questioned quietly, words slightly muffled by the mouth she was burying into Draco's shoulder. "That while we survived, we still have to live through the aftermath of all of this...shit." Taking a breath, Hermione continued, "I naively thought that when we won-because winning was the only outcome I chose to consider-that we would all go back to normal."
"None of it's fair," the teen holding her agreed. "Not a single part. We all were stolen of our childhoods, in many different ways. But, you also just said it yourself-we survived. That has to count for something."
Hermione nodded, "You're right, you know. It has to." Pushing her body back further against Draco, she raised a question, "Why is it guys are always so warm?"
Blaise laughed a bit from the side of the bed, before standing up and moving to sit at Draco's side. "It's one of our saving grace's, the fact that we can provide body heat. Though, every so often it's a woman who is the one to provide the body heat, not the man."
Nodding slowly, Hermione relaxed a little, tears stopping and face relaxing. When Blaise passed her a handkerchief, she used it to wipe away the final paths of wetness on her face. "You called me Mia earlier."
"You called us by our first names last night."
Eyes widening, Hermione redirected the subject slightly, "Be that as it may, why 'Mia'?"
Blaise pat her on the forehead, "I think it's suiting is all. Now," he glanced at the timepiece which he kept on his side table. "It's two in the morning, I don't know about you all, but after this excitement, I'm ready to fall asleep again."
Almost as if his words prompted her, a yawn escaped her own mouth, quickly followed by one from Hermione's blond companion. "Hermione?" The person holding her questioned, using her first name again. Wide-eyed, she nodded and waited for Draco to continue. You said that Pott-Harry and Ron would sleep beside you, to keep your nightmares at bay. Personally, I don't think my heart and soul could handle seeing you like that again."
Blaise nodded, "It's true. Would you allow us to take those two neanderthal's place?"
A truly thoughtful look formed on Hermione's face, "You actually want to help me?"
Flabbergasted, Draco gave the shoulder of hers which he was closest to a nudge, "Woman, we just went through that entire experience with you. Surely, you realize that our hearts aren't entirely made of stone."
Smiling, Hermione had to nod, "I'm beginning to see a lot of things that I once never believed possible. I'll gladly accept your help-I don't know how much longer I can handle going through those nightmares on my own."
"I can't believe those two friends of yours simply left, without helping you find an alternative solution to their comforting you?"
Shrugging her shoulders, Hermione replied to Blaise, "They were preoccupied with starting their new lives, I guess." Turning slightly and changing the subject, Hermione pushed gently on Draco's chest, causing the tall wizard to fall against the mattress. "Get comfy," she instructed. Quirking an eyebrow, the blond said nothing. Moving more-so into the middle of the bed, Hermione gave Blaise a small smile, "Will you both lay here? Or how will it work?"
"Do you want the sassy, teenage boy response, or the polite, we're here to help response?"
"What do you think?"
"I'm okay to stay on the left side here, if Draco stays on the right." Blaise replied, "Are you okay with being in the middle? Or, is it too much...us all here?"
Shaking her head, Hermione tugged on Blaise's t-shirt, causing the Italian to fall dramatically onto his side. "Get comfy."
xxx
The following afternoon, Hermione plopped down on the ground beside Blaise, brushing off sweat from her brow. Despite it still being May, abnormally warm weather had fallen upon Hogwarts. He supposed though, that with how hard everyone was working at finishing the immediate spell-damage around the school, and at removing the dead bodies that still somehow managed to be found daily, that a sweaty appearance could be accepted.
With a sigh, her head found its way to his shoulder-her favourite spot, if the time spent together since they had met, had become any indicator.
"Will things here ever go back to normal?" She questioned.
"What do you define as, "normal'?"
"Well," she said, turning her face so that she could gaze up at him. "Preferably not where I go down to greet the giant squid, and I end up pulling the body of a poor fourth year Ravenclaw out of the water. Said body, which shouldn't have even been fighting in the first place. Gave me quite the fright, finding her." She turned her head again, glancing at the ground, "None of us should have had to fight-we were too young. The War, it never should have gotten to the point that it did."
He nodded, bringing a hand up to rest against the top of her crown.
"I know what you're saying. I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too. You didn't escape without your own scars."
Hermione was almost emotionless at times these days, and it brought up something deep inside him. Something that he refused to believe was worry. He was a Slytherin! Sure, he could be kind, but was it truly possible for a snake to worry about a lion in the capacity that he was contemplating?
"How's the common room?" She questioned after a moment.
He knew what she was referring to. After the battle ended, those in Slytherin had been brought back through the tunnel. They had been offered the chance to stay and help restore order to the grounds, but many had been forced to go home by their families.
Other than Draco and himself, only two other Slytherins had remained. He often wondered if Draco had only stayed due to his parents immediate imprisonment following the War. Draco had been spared, by the skin of his teeth. Returning home to the manor that had housed that unholy monster...he personally wouldn't want to set foot inside of it. Draco had apparently expressed the same thoughts.
"It's good," he finally replied, realizing that he got lost in his thoughts. "Very quiet. Draco and I have been spending most of our time preparing for the placement exams. We know that they aren't until November, but still...it keeps us from overthinking things."
"I don't blame you," Hermione whispered. She was slightly jealous that the two students had still been able to learn-anything-in the past year, even if the curriculum taught had been cringe-worthy and revolting
"So," he questioned, pulling her closer to his side. "What's new in the life of Hermione Granger?"
"I haven't heard from Harry or Ron yet," she replied. Wiping a tear from her eye, she looked towards Blaise's expressive brown eyes. "Do you think I did something? I mean, I've never gone a week without hearing from one of them. I know that I'm a big girl, but after all we went through...". Glancing at the ground again, Hermione continued her thought, "I would have thought that they would be writing to me daily, just as much as I want to write them."
"Hey now," Blaise replied. Taking her by surprise, he pulled her onto his lap.
"Wha-?"
"Hush, silly woman. I'm trying to comfort you here." He gave her a "bop" on the head for good measure.
She snorted, but a laugh escaped her lips. "Carry on then."
"I'm sure they miss you," he stated, pulling her in, to lean against his chest. She couldn't help herself from noting how toned and well-muscled his chest felt beneath the cotton shirt that he was wearing.
"And excuse me if I'm overstepping at all, but have you been tested for any post-traumatic stress thingies?"
She gave him an odd look, "Did you just say, "thingies'?"
"Yes, yes I did."
She rolled out of his grasp, standing up. Leaning against the aged brick wall that they had been sitting against, she pressed all of her weight against it. "I've contemplated it," she whispered. "But I honestly just think that I'm feeling copious amounts of stress...maybe some guilt and exhaustion as well."
"What on earth could you have to feel guilty about?" Blaise questioned, getting to his feet. Moving so that he was standing directly in front of her, he cupped her face in his hands. Seeing her sigh into his grasp, she closed her eyes.
"I erased my parent's memories right before Harry, Ron and I went into hiding."
"Oh, Hermione."
Tears started to well into her eyes. Feeling Blaise wipe them away with his thumbs, she continued talking. "I knew, as Harry's best friend, that my family would be targets-it really only was a matter of time. So many other families had already been attacked, I just didn't want the same to happen to my own."
"Where are they?" He wondered aloud.
"Somewhere in Australia. Maybe Brisbane. I sent them there because of Voldemort's lack of influence on that side of the World. I just wanted them safeā¦"
"Is there anyway that you would be able to reverse it?" He realized that he asked the wrong question. At her sides, her small hands were tightening into fists.
"It was the first time that I had ever erased a memory. I tried to do it properly. But I knew, as soon as it was done, that it would never be able to be reversed. I put too much power into it."
Letting go of her face, he wrapped his arms around her, effectively pulling her against his body. Once he felt her wrap her own arms around his torso, he began to speak again.
"You really are short-you know that, right?"
Feeling a small hand hit him on the shoulder, he continued. "Seriously though, you barely reach my shoulder. You're a tiny little thing."
"A tiny little thing that could kick your arse."
He snorted into her hair, "Yes, that's probably true."
Seeing that she wasn't looking to let go of his torso any time soon, Blaise continued speaking. "You know Granger-or should I say, Hermione? I never really know around you. I feel though, that we have been on cordial terms long enough to strictly first names, don't you?"
She smiled against his chest, "Yeah, I'd like that...Blaise."
A wicked grin formed on his face, "Well Hermione, I must say, you bring out a certain something in me...something that I hadn't even known myself capable of."
She looked up at him, a questioning look upon her face, "Oh?"
He nodded, "Yeah-"
"Hey, Blaise!"
He closed his eyes, resting against her head. If she listened closely, she could have sworn that she heard him growl against her hair.
"Yes, Draco."
"Hey Blaise," he said, nodding to his best friend. "Hermione"
"Draco," she nodded in return to him. Laying next to someone, quickly can bring you onto first name terms with them.
"Was I interrupting something?" He asked, a perfect blond eyebrow lifted in the air.
Glancing down at the small girl in his arms, Blaise sighed, before letting go. Keeping an arm around her shoulder, he replied to the aristocrat, "Nah, we were just having a chat. What's up?"
"You said you'd come to the Great Hall for dinner tonight with me and the other Slytherins. Or," he glanced at Hermione. "Have you made other plans?"
Blaise shook his head. "Nah, that's still good. Would you like to sit with us tonight, Hermione?"
Both her eyes and Draco's bugged out of their heads at those words, "Um...what?"
"You. Dinner. Us?"
She hit him once again, this time with more strength behind it. Seeing her action, Draco couldn't help laughing, "Nice one, Hermione. I approve."
She gave a small smile to the blond before turning back to the man at her side, "No need to dumb things down for me. I can eat with you. Might be able to teach you some etiquette manners while I'm at it."
Draco turned around, laughing again as he did so, "I like her, Blaise. She should eat with us more."
Xxx
Upon entering the Great Hall with her two escorts, Hermione was immediately assaulted with the delicious smells of freshly made, delicious food. As there were so many people to be fed, the four tables normally reserved for each house were all in use, but no one was sitting in their designated seats. Even the professors, who usually sat at the High Table, were mulling around in between students.
The War had changed certain dynamics around Hogwarts.
Seeing the well worn faces of each person sitting at the tables, Hermione was thrilled that they had broken custom, and were all sitting where they darn well pleased.
"Over here," Blaise said, placing a hand on the small of her back and guiding her towards the farthest table from the door. It was mostly deserted, but all of the remaining Slytherin's were congregating at one corner of it.
"Hello," she said calmly, upon reaching the table. The two younger students briefly looked up at her. One opened their mouth, as if to say something snarky-but a look from Blaise, unbeknownst to Hermione, quickly quieted them.
"Hello," both students mumbled, before returning to their meals.
"Well then," Hermione said with a shrug, turning to both men. "After you?"
Both Slytherins sat down on the bench, leaving just enough room for Hermione to sit between them. With an eye roll, she situated herself in between. Trying to not focus on the feel of either man's arm as it occasionally brushed against hers, she focused on filling her plate with the delectable food in front of her.
A cough from the front of the room brought her attention to focus.
Minerva McGonagall, exuding wisdom and grace, stood in front of the entire hall. Battle worn just like everyone else, she had not left the War scar-free. Running diagonally along her left cheek, lay a brilliantly red scar. Apparently, someone's brazen slicing hex, hadn't been quite bold enough.
"Good evening, everyone," she said smoothly. "I won't take up too much of your time tonight, but I just wanted to share some news with you all."
Whispers immediately filled the room, only to be silenced with a raise of the witch's hand.
"Thank you. Now, while some of you are already privy to this," she said, eying the three of them. Hermione gave a nod of understanding, relaxing slightly against Blaise's arm. "Others are not. We have allotted the next year, specifically, for healing. This means that no regular classes will be up and running."
"What!"
"We'll fall behind though!"
"My NEWT scores!"
"Everyone, please calm down. This has been allotted, by both myself, and the Board of Governors, in order to aid in the Post Traumatic Stress, the grief, the loss, and simply the fact that yes, a battle occurred on these grounds. While repairs are coming along brilliantly, we can't very well guarantee that everything will be in place for September. We also have to implement new security measures, and start a new hiring process."
Mumbling once again overtook the room, but Professor McGonagall chose to simply speak over it, "We did not have the capability of completing exams this year. It just wasn't feasible. Because of this fact, we are allowing a week of testing to commence in November of this coming year. Students who pass these exams will automatically move up towards the next year level-which will commence the following September. For those students who were meant to graduate next month, if you pass these exams then you will receive your graduation diploma. Alternatively, 7th year students also have the option to return the following September and complete a proper, school year."
With a nod of her head, she swept down from the front of the room, and hurriedly left to find a seat beside Madame Hooch..
Must not want any questions right now, Hermione thought. She couldn't blame her, not really. When she had been brought to the Headmistress's office, along with Blaise, Draco, and a few more of the more gifted seventh year students, they had all been surprised by the news. While the concept of being potentially behind in one's studies were daunting, she appreciated the work that was going into making everyone-their mental health included-have time to recuperate.
Draco elbowed her in her side, "Hey, Granger."
"Yes?"
"You're going to do the testing in November, aren't you? I mean, it seems like a very un-Granger-like thing for you to say no to."
She gave him a small glare before taking a bite of the potato on her plate. Swallowing, she replied, "Of course, I would have much preferred testing next month, but I believe Professor McGonagall is right...I for one, am certainly not ready."
Both Slytherin's knocked their shoulders against her own, "You'll do fine, Granger," Draco said. "How often have I insulted you for how smart you were?"
"What Draco means is," Blaise said, interrupting the budding argument. "Is that you have always been called the brightest witch of your age...or something like that? I'm not entirely sure. Give it a few weeks of studying, and you'll manage just fine!"
She giggled slightly into her hand.
"I think she's lost it, Draco."
"Yeah, I'm seeing that too."
Tossing a bread roll at each of them, she crossed her arms defiantly over her chest. "Tossers, the both of you. I'm just laughing because, well, if this little friendship, or whatever you want to call it continues, then you'll get to see how amazingly stressed that I get during exams."
Draco smacked himself on the forehead, "Life was much less stressful when you refused to talk to us, Granger."
She cast a small smile at Blaise, "Well, you can thank Blaise for that one."
Xxx
Leaving the Great Hall after dinner had been interesting. Many curious onlookers had been gawking at the sight of Hermione Granger walking with Blaise Zabini and Draco Malfoy.
"Think she's been jinxed?" One person had asked.
"Nah, she's just looking for a quick lay," another had snided. Said person had had the joy of being whapped upside the head by a furious Molly Weasley. She was sure the woman was going to speak to her at some point about her choice in male company.
Upon exiting the building, the three teenagers ventured to what had become Hermione and Blaise's "spot". With Draco accompanying them now, it seemed that room for a third was needed.
Settling herself against the brick wall behind her, Hermione smiled slightly when she felt both men follow suit on either side of her.
"Hermione," Blaise whispered.
She cocked her head, concern evident in her eyes, "What is it? What's wrong?"
"If being seen with a few Slytherins is going to make your life difficult, then I don't want to force you to spend time with us."
She furrowed her brows, "What do you mean? The War is over! Who cares who I choose to spend my time with. I'm an adult, I can make my own decisions."
"But, what was being said inside-"
"Screw them," she said angrily, throwing her arms in the air. "I chose who I see in my free time. No one has forced me. No one is allowed to force me to do anything anymore." Angrily, her hands were fisting so tightly at her sides, Draco was concerned that she would draw blood with her nails.
"I just thought-"
"No," she exclaimed, her finger pointing sharply in his chest. "You can leave if you would like, both of you," she turned her head, facing Draco as well. "But that will be your choice in leaving, not mine. You can leave just like everyone else does."
"Oh Hermione," Blaise said tiredly. "Haven't you caught on that I'm rather fond of you and your know-it-all ways?"
"Wha-?"
"Just come here and give me a hug." Bringing her into his arms, he turned himself so that he was facing Draco. Feeling Hermione's warm embrace, and seeing the genuine happiness that Draco was showing in his eyes for his friend, made him feel a joy that he hadn't felt in a long while.
"Bring it in, Draco. Group hug."
"No-no. I'm good, thank you."
"Move your arse, Mal-Draco." Hermione said softly, holding out an arm for Draco to join them.
Sighing dramatically, Draco walked forward, wrapping his taller, muscular from around both students.
"Why must you both be so tall," they heard her mutter against their chests.
"Well," Draco replied. "It works rather well that you're short. Trust us."
"If I must."
"Look Draco, she's being dramatic."
"You haven't seen anything yet, boys."
Xxx
From the view of her office, Minerva could see a great many things. One thing that could interest though, were the small forms of three students directly underneath her window. If one squinted just enough, they could make out the heads of one Gryffindor, two Slytherins, and countless hundred years of wishful thinking.
She never had thought that she would see the day-two such houses, forming a comradery as such. What amazed her even more, was the fact that the three seemed to be hugging!
Moving away from the window, she allowed the students some privacy. Taking a seat at her desk, she pulled a bottle from one of its drawers, and emptied its contents into a tumbler. Leaning back, she allowed herself to taste the whiskey that resided inside.
Hermione Granger could get away with murder as far as she was concerned. Not only had she endured torture, under Bellatrix Lestrange's hand no less, but she had countlessly risked her life, all to make sure that Harry Potter would succeed in his mission.
A mission that never should have been his in the first place, Albus. Shaking her head, she took another sip. Seeing Hermione bond with one of the people who had been there the day of her torture, and throughout her merciless bullying while at Hogwarts, was bittersweet. It was incredibly encouraging that after everything the girl had gone through, she allowed herself to forgive. It was morose though, in that she had never gotten to know the good side of the boy...not until now apparently.
She would keep an eye on her students-make sure that if anything grew from their friendship, that her guidance would be there, but only if needed. She would not make the same mistakes that her predecessor did.
With sad eyes, she turned away from the smiling portrait of Albus Dumbledore. Finishing her tumbler, she stood up. There's still work to be done.
Xxx
Annnnnnd Chapter 2 is up and posted everyone. I'm quite thrilled by how this story is coming along. The feedback I've gotten so far has been lovely-thank you so much to my first reviewers! It's caused my heart to literally glow with happiness, to see that you are enjoying this story.
If easier, Coping with Silence is also posted on Archieve of our Own, under the same username and title. Drop by and visit there if you'd like!
Let me know what you all thought of this chapter, everyone! There is LOTS more to come.
TTFN,
Tegan
