A/N: Set during Star Wars: Rebels, Season 2. Seelos is the planet where Rex, Wolffe and Gregor were living in Season 2, Episodes 3-4.
This is the first thing I've ever written in first person POV, I generally prefer writing in third person but these drabbles just came out this way so I went with it.
I'm Not a Soldier
I didn't sign up for a war, I didn't sign up to be a soldier again. Neither did Kanan. How could Hera do this behind our backs? Didn't she know, better than anyone else, what we'd been through? Didn't she care?
Kanan left the briefing room angry and I don't blame him. I'm angry too. Hera chases after him, I wonder if she'll also chase after me?
I go to my room. It's my sanctuary, my safe place, or so I thought. It's not that I don't want to help, I do, I just don't want to be a soldier.
...
Not Again
It's not Hera who finds me, but Kanan. I'm painting in my room to steady my nerves. There's a wall waiting for color.
"Hey, kid, can we talk?" Kanan's voice is very soft.
"Hera lied to us." I'm hurt and furious.
"I know." Kanan doesn't defend her.
I wonder if he's feeling the same things I am. I try to release my panic through my paintbrush, but it's not working. I look at Kanan finally, my hands trembling. "I can't be a soldier again.
Kanan puts his arm around my shoulders, the gesture comforts me. "I know, I can't either."
...
Trust
Kanan trusts Hera, and I trust them both. So, it seems like we're doing this. We're part of the Rebellion now. I hope Ahsoka is really as wise and all-knowing as Hera thinks she is.
I'm willing to give her a chance, though, give this rebellion a chance. After what happened on Lothal I'm ready to make the Empire pay.
I'm about to leave for Seelos, Ahsoka finds me. "Hera tells me you're brave," Ahsoka says. "I'm sure she's right, Mandalorians are some of the bravest warriors I know."
Her words warm me, maybe I can trust her after all.
...
Ghosts
We survive Seelos, but Kanan isn't taking it the way I expected. He's usually able to at least pretend that things aren't bothering him, but not this time. He's quiet, lost inside his head. I know the feeling.
I was too young to remember what happened to the Jedi when the Republic fell. As a Mandalorian I probably wouldn't have cared. But I care about Kanan. I want to help him, but I know that's better left to Hera.
She'll ward off his ghosts. I hope I can do the same to my own. Being a soldier again isn't easy.
...
Secret Tokens
Kanan and Ezra are leaving and I'm afraid they won't come back. The only good thing is that Ahsoka is going with them, she won't lead them wrong.
Kanan is so focused he doesn't seem to realize that Hera is taking this hard too. She keeps giving him that look. It says she's afraid she'll never see him again. That look scares me more than anything.
I want to tell them goodbye, that I love them, to be careful. Mandalorian warriors don't do such things. I draw Loth-cats and secretly slip them into their belt pouches. Talismans for good luck.
...
The Protector
Ahsoka told Hera to leave Kanan to be tortured in Imperial prison. Ahsoka tricked Kanan into recruiting clones even after knowing what he'd been through. Ahsoka told Kanan to trust Maul. Now Kanan's blind. What did Ahsoka have against Kanan anyway? She's a hero because she's dead, but if she were alive I'd hate her.
I watch Kanan as he sits out by the fence every day. He's trying to cope with everything but it's not coming easy. I want to protect him, but there's nothing I can do. I feel so helpless. I've failed to protect my family. Again.
