"I've just had a rather unusual experience, and am currently unsure of my surroundings. Would you be so kind as to fill me in on where am I and who you are?" was what some deep an dark part of Butch's mind attempted to force through his mouth, but all actually came out was "Huh?"
Now that the ringing noise was gone, and his vision had cleared, Butch could see a handful of dirty men in strange clothing sitting very close to him. He could smell them too, they were all filthy and dressed up like characters from Grognak. One of them was saying something, but he was unable to pay much attention, because...
Was he... outside?
If Butch didn't know it was impossible, he would think he was in some sort of wooden cart going down a stone road. It looked like there were trees and hills around him, and at the front of the cart was a real life HORSE. And God damn it was cold, colder than it ever got in the vault, even in his Tunnel Snake jacket. It felt so real.
The last thing he remembered was talking to Amata and the Doc's girl... Wait, did that bitch punch him? Oh she was so dead. When he took over the barbershop, she was going to get only the worst haircuts for the rest of her life.
"... trying to cross the border, right?"
A blond man with weird long hair (Butch could help with that), also dressed in an oddly familiar Grognak-style getup was the one who said it. He talked funny, but then Butch hadn't ever spoken to anyone from outside the Vault before, so maybe everyone outside talked like that?
But what border was he talking about? Butch vaguely remembered that Mr Brotch had taught them about the old world countries and shown off a map with lines all across it, but the Vault wasn't anywhere near the borders, so maybe it was a border between some post-apocalyptic barbarian tribes?
"Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there."
Imperial? What the hell does that mean?
And Butch didn't remember walking into anything. Maybe this was just a dream, they never made sense. Yeah, that must be it. The Doc's kid must have injected him with something after she punched him (no WAY could a girl knock him out), and now he's asleep and having one of his Grognak dreams... They don't usually feel so real though.
It was only after the blond man mentioned a thief that Grogna-I mean Butch, noticed his hands were tied. So the guy with the old-timey helmet driving the wagon must be a guard then? And he was a prisoner.
Huh, this was kind of familiar. He remembered that one issue where Grognak was captured by the Lizard King's minions, but escaped of course by tearing his chains using his super strength. Butch started trying to do the same thing, but they didn't budge at all.
Stupid chains.
Oh wait, the thief just said something. He stopped fiddling with the bindings and looked up again, just in time for the man to look him right in the face. God, please don't let me be as dirty as this guy, he looks like dived face-first into a tub of soot.
"You and me, we shouldn't be there..." he wasn't sure about that, it was pretty in character for Grognak to find himself in a mess like this, he just couldn't wait for the part of the dream where he got to beat people up, "It's these Stormcloaks the Empire wants."
Stormcloak? Hey wasn't that one of the names Wally suggested when they were naming the Tunnel Snakes? Awesome. Yeah, this was definitely a dream. Any worry that might have still been hiding somewhere in his body vanished, and he relaxed in his seat on the wagon.
Butch had to admit, Stormcloak was a cool name, but it didn't make any sense. The Tunnel Snakes was a way better name.
The thief said something that made the blond guy mad, and Butch learned that the other guy with his mouth covered was called, uh, Ollfrick? It was a cool name anyway. Very Grognaky. And he was apparently the true "High King" and leader of a rebellion. Probably against that Empire.
Woah, his brain could come up with all sorts of weird stuff. Usually the Grognak dreams were just him smashing radroaches.
"I don't know where we're going, but Sovngarde awaits." Who's Sovvenguard? Is that the boss of these Empire guys, maybe they're being taken to him. Oooooh, Butch couldn't wait to smash him.
The two guys on the other side of the wagon talked to each other about their homes for a while, and Butch felt his excitement grow as a town came into view. Smashy time in ten... nine...
What is a headsman? Is the thief praying? That sounded like a prayer. Mr Brotch had taught them about how people in the real old days, like the Romans and stuff, used to believe in loads of different gods instead of just the real one.
When they came into the town, it was a strange experience. Everything was so open and alive. The ground was covered with stones and grass and little plants, and there were fences between the houses, and the houses had funny roofs that looked like they were made of grass. It was a lot different to the Vault. Even though he knew it was just a dream, he took a moment to just soak it all in; how did his mind know to create all this?
There was a old man called General Tullius sitting on a horse, just standing there talking to some weirdos in bathrobes as they passed by. The blond guy said they were Elves! Elves were kinda lame, Paul liked the Elves in Grognak the most, but the rest of the Tunnel Snakes agreed that the Barbarians were the coolest.
These Elves looked just as lame as the ones in the comics, standing there in their weird outfits. They were probably trying to get that General guy to plant trees or something.
Wow those mountains are pretty. Even more spiky and snowy and windy looking than he had ever imagined before, even Mr Brotch's old pictures of the Rockies didn't come close. He soon found out that this beautiful town was called "Helgen", and then the carts finally came to a stop by the wall of an actual castle.
"Time to go" the blond guy said, and Butch and the others stood up and started to exit the cart.
