Chapter 11: Blame

Beleth ran to the front gate when the trumpets signaling the approach of riders sounded through the halls. Her husband was already outside. Hope blossomed in her heart when a deer emerged from the wood carrying Caladhel and a warden, but her spirits fell when no more riders followed. Beleth ran across the narrow bridge to meet them. Her husband followed close behind. By the time they reached the field Caladhel had dismounted. She looked affright. Her white dress was muddied and tattered and there were splatters of something dark upon the cloth.

Beleth reached out her hands and took hold of Caladhel's. "Where are Thranduil and the others?"

"There were orcs," Caladhel replied. "He ordered Iordor to get me away."

Túven took note of the young warden who delivered Caladhel back to Limrond. "Where is Iordor now?"

"He returned with more warriors to aid the King."

"And Thranduil?" Beleth asked.

Caladhel could not keep the fear and anxiety she felt for the King from reaching her eyes when she answered. "He was fighting when I last saw him."

Beleth saw Caladhel's fear and worried at its cause. She knew her nephew to be a fierce and capable warrior and did not think Caladhel would doubt his ability unless something terrible had passed. "What happened?"

"An arrow struck him in the back."

"How did he get shot in the back?" Túven asked. It was not the kind of injury one was likely to suffer unless caught unawares and Thranduil was far too experienced to turn his back to the enemy.

"The arrow was meant for me," Caladhel replied. "He turned aside to draw me behind him, and so doing, stepped into the arrow's path."

Túven's anger sparked and in that moment the emotion was too much for him to restrain. "Our king is far too benevolent. He should have let the orcs have you!"

"Túven!" Beleth was shocked by her husband's outburst. She knew he held no love in his heart for Caladhel, but to even think such a thing…

Túven rounded on his wife, splitting his fury between Caladhel and Beleth. "Do not tell me you would trade your nephew's life for hers!"

Beleth flinched at the venom behind her husband's accusation but she gave him no reply. Nothing she could say would soothe his rage. Instead, she took Caladhel's arm in hers. The elleth was trembling and tears welled behind her eyes.

"Come. Let us get you cleaned up." She drew the elleth away from Túven and into the palace. She guided Caladhel silently to her room.

Caladhel tried to fight back the tears, but after the first fell she was lost. When they reached her room Beleth hurried to fill the tub with water and Caladhel followed her into the washroom. The sound of the water flowing over stone soothed Caladhel's nerves. When the tub was filled, Beleth helped her shed her ruined dress and she sank into the tub. Beleth sat beside her with a brush in hand and began working the knots out of her hair. The cool water upon her skin brought Caladhel's mind back to life and her thoughts into focus.

"I never meant for this to happen," she said.

"I know," Beleth replied.

"Sídhel is dead, and perhaps others as well. All because I could not let him win."

Beleth understood Caladhel's stubborn nature well. It ran in their line, too. No doubt it could be traced all the way back to the shores of Cuiviénen. "Stubbornness is a trait you both share."

Caladhel drew her knees up to her chest and rested her head upon them. The tears came faster now and she wept into the crook of her arm.

Beleth refused to let the Lady despair when the fate of her nephew and his warriors was yet uncertain. She laid a hand on the elleth's arm to draw her attention.

"Look at me," she said. When Caladhel turned her head to meet Beleth's eyes, she spoke again. "Your attempt to flee on your own was foolhardy, I do not deny that, but it was not your intention to bring injury to anyone. Thranduil's actions provoked yours. He was the one who held you here against your will and so the fate he and his warriors face now is of his own making. I know you worry for them, but the elves who guard this kingdom have faced great evil and lived to tell the tale. They are strong and capable fighters all."

Caladhel was silent for a long while contemplating Beleth's wisdom. There might well be enough blame to go around that Thranduil could share in part of it, but it was not enough to lighten the weight on her heart. Caladhel knew Beleth's judgment of Greenwood's warriors to be true as well, for she witnessed first hand how fearlessly they engaged the enemy. She was more assured now that they would be well, or at least, that none would blame her for any ill that befell them in battle. There was only one who might feel otherwise, and she would not blame him if he did.

Caladhel's eyes sought Beleth's once more. "The arrow that hit Thranduil was meant for me. If he holds me in such contempt, why didn't he let it hit me? I doubt any would have blamed him had I fallen during the attack." Caladhel could not understand why an ellon who treated her with such disdain would choose to shield her from danger.

Beleth, for her part, was not at all surprised by her nephew's actions. It was no easy thing to read Thranduil's thoughts or intentions so Caladhel's confusion was understandable. Beleth was better at reading her nephew than most, and one thing had been clear to her from the start. "It is not contempt Thranduil feels for you, believe me. If he did, he would not have wasted a single moment on you. You would have returned to Lothlórien the very day you came. What he saw when he met you was a threat, a mystery, and a challenge, and one held as such is not accounted low, but marked as an equal – or a better."

"And as for allowing the arrow to hit you," Beleth shook her head, "such an act is not in his nature. You do not know Thranduil well. You have seen only his anger, but that is not all he is. He has a deep love for his people and this wood, and what Thranduil chooses to love, he will defend without hesitation."

Caladhel had little reason to doubt Beleth's words, but one thing about Beleth's statement continued to trouble her. "I am not one of his people, or of this wood."

"No," Beleth agreed, "but as long as you dwell beneath these trees you are his to protect."

Caladhel supposed Beleth was correct. She could not imagine her uncle or Amroth allowing someone to die within their borders were it in their power to save them. But Túven's words echoed in her mind, in particular those directed at his wife.

"But Túven is right," said Caladhel. "My life is no more worthy than your king's."

Beleth laid a hand on Caladhel's shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze. "Do not take my husband's words to heart. They were spoken in anger and born from despair. He loves Thranduil like a son. He is all we have left."

Caladhel closed her eyes and rested her head once more upon her knees. She tried her best to push Túven's words to the back of her mind, but hard as she tried, she could not banish them or the fear that she might have stolen someone precious from Beleth as well. She recalled the way Túven had turned on his mate and the venom with which he spoke. Caladhel wondered now more than ever how Beleth had come to marry such an ellon.

"What was Túven like when you married him?"

Beleth knew what it was Caladhel truly wished to ask. "You mean was he different from how he is now?"

Caladhel nodded.

"He was very different," Beleth said. "We were wed beneath the stars, before the sun rose for the first time, before Morgoth returned to Middle-earth and led his orcs down from the north. The world was at peace and so was his heart. He would smile and laugh all the time. He knew joy. We both did. The wars with Morgoth and Sauron changed him, and our son's death was the final straw. He knows no joy anymore."

Caladhel grieved for Beleth and the mate she lost to time. "Has he thought to sail?" It was what most did when the changing of the world finally broke them.

Beleth shook her head. "He will not leave Thranduil without a father. My brother is with our son, and Túven swore that he would not abandon Oropher's. My husband does not break his word."

Caladhel had no great love in her heart for Túven, but in this, at least, she found a measure of respect for him. She did not care to think how lost she would be without her own aunt and uncle to love and guide her. "It is good the King has you both."

A shadow fell across Beleth's face. "Sometimes I fear we are not enough."

Caladhel had no words of comfort to offer so she fell silent while Beleth worked the last of the knots out of her hair. When she was done Beleth rose from her seat. "I will leave you to your bath. Try to get some sleep. We will surely know more in a few hours."

"Will you send word to me when they arrive?" Caladhel asked.

"Of course," Beleth replied. She departed, leaving Caladhel alone with her troubled thoughts.


Caladhel was exhausted and she fell into a fitful sleep the moment her head hit the pillow. She did not know how many hours passed before a knock sounded on her door. She startled at the sound and was up in an instant to open the door.

"Haldor!" Caladhel threw her arms around the warden, abandoning propriety and sparing not a thought for the stains upon his clothes.

Haldor returned her embrace for a moment before he drew back. There were tears in her eyes but they shone, too, with joy at the sight of him.

"Where is the King?" she asked.

"My father took him to his rooms," Haldor replied. "He is being treated now."

"The arrow?"

"It hit his shoulder, but missed his lung, thank the Valar," Haldor replied. "He may not wield a sword with his right arm for awhile, but it will mend so long as they draw the poison."

"Poison?" Caladhel had not thought about that possibility. "Will he be well?"

"We packed the wound with athelas while we traveled and Lord Túven is drawing the rest out now," he replied.

Túven? Caladhel frowned. "I was not aware Lord Túven was a healer."

Nor was Haldor. He had been slightly puzzled when his father guided the King to his private chambers instead of the healing ward and directed Haldor to summon Lord Túven. "Nor was I, but my father sent for him. I expect one as old as Lord Túven has been many things."

Caladhel was certain Lords Iordor and Túven would do all they could for their king. With Thranduil's welfare assured, her concern turned to his warriors. "And the others?"

"Only a few scrapes and broken bones. All will mend."

Caladhel was glad to hear it and with this news much of the weight upon her heart lifted. It did not vanish entirely, and no small measure was reserved for the ellon who stood before her now. She owed him an apology.

"I am sorry I deceived you. I hope you will not be punished too harshly for my actions."

"All is well," Haldor assured her. "I already received a tongue lashing from the King and my father's idea of punishment is to deploy me to a quiet border. I depart in a few minutes."

Caladhel was glad to hear he had not suffered too greatly for her actions. "I'm glad you will have a real job to do. Perhaps some dwarves will happen upon your quiet border so you might harass them."

"One can only hope," Haldor replied, smiling. "But before I depart, I did wish to applaud you for your theatrical talent." When Caladhel's expression changed to one of puzzlement, he added, "My favorite part was your poor aim."

Caladhel's face turned red from embarrassment. She recalled his jibe for her terrible aim when she sent the arrow off into the tree. It was amusing at the time, and more so now. She could not help but laugh. "Truth be told," she replied. "I am better with a bow than a blade."

Haldor would not soon forget the arrow she fired off the side of the target in order to give herself more distance to flee or those that felled the attacking wargs. "Really?" he said, laughing. "I never would have guessed."

When their shared amusement ran its course, Caladhel's mind sobered. She was glad everyone was safe, but had not forgotten that she was once again Thranduil's prisoner. "Will I be carted off to the dungeon now?"

"No," Haldor replied. "In fact, my father has lifted the guard on you."

That was not the answer Caladhel had expected. "Why?"

Haldor smiled at her kindly. "I suspect he believes you will not run again."

Caladhel sighed. "He is right."

Haldor knew he would be, and having delivered Caladhel the latest news, it was time for him to depart. "I must be going now."

"Good journey, Haldor."

"Lady Caladhel." Haldor took her right hand in his and laid a kiss upon it. "If you don't mind my saying, I hope not to see you here when I return."


Caladhel kept to her room for most of the following day. She had a few books still on the dresser and had no desire to answer questions about her attempted escape. An elleth from the kitchen brought her breakfast and lunch so she did not expect the knock on her door mid afternoon.

Caladhel laid down her book and rose from her spot on the bed. She opened the door and was surprised at the sight of her visitor.

"Daerel." She recognized the child immediately. The young elleth stood before her door with two cups and a steaming pot on a tray.

"I brought you tea," she said.

The child was clearly anxious she would be turned away but Caladhel gestured for her to enter and directed her to place the tray on her dressing table. "Thank you, child."

Daerel laid the tray down and turned toward Caladhel. She wrung her hands nervously and Caladhel could see she had something to say. She waited for the child to muster her courage. When she did, big blue eyes looked upon Caladhel in amazement. "You are very brave," she proclaimed.

Caladhel could not help but laugh but no humor reached her eyes. "You think so?" she said, and sat herself on the bed. "I feel like a fool."

Daerel's bright expression fell and a look of confusion settled upon her face. She took a seat beside Caladhel. "Why?" she asked. "Because you wished to go home?"

"No," Caladhel replied, "because people were hurt. The King said I could not leave until he decided and I wanted to prove him wrong. I was not thinking of anyone else."

Daerel considered the Lady's answer for a moment before she spoke again. "I still think it was brave," she said, "but perhaps, a bit reckless, too."

Caladhel did not know if she would call her actions brave, but she certainly thought the child right about the second part. "The King took an arrow for me. I didn't even see it coming."

"Good thing he did."

All in Limrond had heard what fate befell the King when he rode out after the Lórien lady. Everyone thought his sacrifice noble, though a few wondered aloud why he would risk his life for the sake of a prisoner's. Daerel, for her part, thought the entire tale incredibly romantic.

Caladhel sighed. "I need to thank him, but I don't know where he is."

"I know where he is," Daerel offered.

"You do?"

Daerel was pleased to be of help. Her countenance brightened measurably. "Lady Beleth is attending him in his rooms. I brought them lunch earlier."

"Can you show me?" Caladhel asked.

"Of course!"

Daerel jumped to her feet. She was very fond of Caladhel and thought the Lórien lady would make an excellent queen, if only she could forgive their king for losing his temper. Daerel thought saving the Lady from orcs was a fine start, for she would certainly swoon had an ellon rescued her from death. Daerel would do anything she could to help bring the Lady and the King together. When Caladhel rose, she took the Lady's arm and led her to the King's quarters.