(Don't) Say My Name - CHAPTER 5


Danny Fenton floats just above the roof of the Ops Center of his home, Fenton Works, in Phantom form. He's resting a few inches above the surface, arms behind his head and one leg crossed – the picture of ease.

But he is not as ease.

Over the years Danny has learned that running from his problems and anxieties does nothing for him but prolong his suffering. So here he is, meditating, picking apart his emotions and thoughts, going through his usual exercises of one item at a time. Normally this would calm him down, present an answer or some sort of reassurance.

Unfortunately, today does not reveal a magical resolution. This isn't a morality issue, or an honour issue or even a balancing of both lives issue. It's just a Vlad issue. And he can't make heads or tails of it.

He knows in his heart that Vlad isn't an evil person, as Tucker so eloquently puts it. He's been handed tough cards in life and with tougher odds. Danny may not agree with the way Vlad chose to deal with things, but he can't imagine being in the same position and coming out the same person either.

However, that does not exempt him from his misdoings in the present. He is a full-grown man with access to the internet and written works. Actually, he has more access than others, power that lets him see into the lives of others and even ask the dead for the truth and their thoughts on certain events. So when he reads about heroes and heroines, or underdogs and maniacal villains, how can he continue to choose to hurt others? What drives him to such selfishness?

Danny hums and melds his legs together into a spectral tail, flicking it lazily in wide arcs. He can't seem to understand Vlad, but then again, he hasn't really seen too much of him in the past couple years. Sure, he stops in for family dinners every couple weeks and Danny sees him around town or on TV, but they don't really talk much. Vlad hasn't even made any shitty rules to cause Danny and his friends' grief, he's just been… existing. Sam assumes he's biding his time, waiting for the teens to drop their guard.

Little do Sam and Tucker know but Danny dropped his guard long ago. It happened not long after he went into the past to view his dad's collage days when the portal was created. He saw a young Vlad full of hope and wonder and excitement. He was filled with life. And yes, while Danny and Vlad may be half dead, the Vlad of today seems to be more dead inside than his ally. Danny wonders why that is, considering he got a more concentrated shot from the Ghost Zone. Perhaps Vlad faced such heartbreak at the hands of Danny's parents that it broke him? These thoughts lead the teen to feel a hard pang in the chest. His parents have always been a little blind to the people around them. As smart as they are, their social skills suck ass. He wishes he could apologize for their actions but knows it'll not only fall on deaf ears but do nothing to soothe years of hurt.

Danny sighs. So, Vlad isn't exactly evil. Take that Tucker.

What about that infatuation with his mom? What happened to that? Vlad doesn't really attack often, but when he does he usually spouts his plans all proud-like in typical cocky-villain-style. Somehow it always makes Danny happy to know that the older halfa hasn't changed in his ways. It's kind of endearing in a totally platonic way. A familiar way. 'It's also very helpful too,' he thinks. But the plans he lays out don't include Maddie anymore. When did that stop? Danny doesn't remember. Did he give up on her? If so then what's his motive? Danny wonders if the supercomputer in Vlad's secret lab still has a Maddie AI. That would be very telling. He has half a mind to go and check. But that would involve a long flight and willfully going to the man's home. Something which causes Danny pause in light of recent events.

Recent events causing Danny his worst anxiety yet. He internally groans and forces his mind into the thick of it. 'I like Vlad?' He cringes. Where the hell did this come from? There have been many fights, mini-truces, and normal evenings with the family that have revealed no attraction to the man. So why now? Vlad didn't even do anything recently to cause admiration from Danny, or anything else that could explain sudden feelings.

But the feelings are the weirdest part. He feels he can see Vlad exactly as before this whole mess. Exactly the same as before, but now suddenly he gets excited when Vlad talks to him? This isn't a normal crush. Don't crushes mean you wear rose-coloured glasses and the item of your affection can do no wrong? Danny wonders where his rose-coloured glasses are.

Maybe it's lust?

He cringes at the idea but it makes more sense. It would explain a sexual response without any proper feelings attached. Danny sits up, 'Holy shit, that's it! I'm lusting for him!' He flops back down again, covering his eyes with an arm, 'Somehow that seems way worse. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why couldn't it be someone else? Liiiiiiike, I don't know, literally anyone else at school. Even a fucking teacher would be better than Vlad.' But oddly enough, the lust thing makes him feel better. It takes the pressure off for making up excuses why he would 'like' Vlad. He doesn't. It's just physical.

Still embarrassing. But at least now his thoughts are in order. Danny can move forward with this. Basically, this just means he should avoid Vlad for a while and try to quickly find himself somebody to date, maybe even finally get laid, and take his mind off the other halfa.

Barely a second after that thought completes himself, he is presented with a puff of pink followed quickly by his ghost sense. From the fading luminescence floats the very object of Danny's thoughts.

Danny sighs, laughing to himself as he falls back onto his back. This definitely isn't the reaction Vlad expected and stares, "…Everything alright Daniel?"

Danny just lifts a thumbs up, but remains staring up at the stars. He folds his hands on his stomach and waits for his visitor to do or ask what he came here for.

Suddenly Vlad's head looms over him from above, curiosity all over his face. "You seem… relaxed." He starts cautiously, still very put off.

Danny chuckles, "I was just meditating. It happens."

"Hmm. And you aren't afraid I'll attack you?" He seems weirded out, Danny finds this thought amusing.

"Why do you want to control everything? Why do you always pick the worst of two options?"

A pause. "Is control the worst option?"

"No. Sorry I meant those as two separate thoughts. If you had a chance to help or to hurt someone, why do you usually go for the hurt?"

"We are going to do this right now? Alright, I'll make myself comfortable." Vlad sits down on the air beside Danny, a few inches above the Ops Center (the ghost alarm system would activate otherwise) and crosses his legs. He leans back on his hands and stares up at the stars as well. "I don't necessarily choose to hurt people over helping them. I choose to help myself and sometimes it hurts people."

Danny hums, "What if you know it'll hurt someone else. Do you do it anyway?"

"Yes. Usually." He doesn't hesitate and Danny respects that, no matter how disappointing the answer. Vlad takes in the teen's silence and sighs, "I know it sounds bad. I won't pretend I'm ignorant to social standard. I just… I'm just… I'm tired of losing, Daniel." He looks down at his lap and leans forward, twisting his fingers absently. "I was always losing. I lost my desire to ghost hunt in high school, sure I got it back for a short time but I lost it again when I became one." He growls out the last and Danny looks to him with interest.

Vlad is being real with him, this is new. He stays silent, ignoring the incoming headache and hoping the man will continue. He's been getting a lot of headaches lately.

"I then lost my humanity. I lost my best friends - my only friends. I even lost my first crush. I lost my school, my degree, my home, my father. In one simple moment I lost control of everything." Vlad's voice wavers, he clears it and whispers out, "I will never lose control of my life again."

Danny digests this, watching Vlad attempt to compose himself. 'Well shit, I have no idea how to handle this.' He thinks back to how this conversation started. "And what about choosing the worst of two options? When we fight each other or when ghosts gang up on us and we truce for a bit, there's always some sort of decision we make to change the battle. You always pick the bad choice."

"It's the best choice for me."

"It can't always be the best choice."

"No, it doesn't always work out but at the time it seems the best idea."

"For you."

"Yes Daniel, for me. I told you I was tired of losing. I make sure I always get what I want now. I tried caring about others and they left me behind. So now I look out for me and I'm happy!"

"Sure, 'happy'…" Danny rubs his head and frowns, its hard to have an impromptu heart-to-heart with Vlad when he causes such mixed feelings in his body. "You only tried once."

"…What?" Vlad sounds dangerously close to ending this little friendly chat.

Danny holds his hands up in surrender, "You said it at school today, you had no friends growing up. So when you finally got friends they became your world. You worked with them, studied with them, hung out with them. Loved one of them. So when they eventually rejected you, you just gave up. You didn't try again. The one time you get friends and have a crush, and the one time it doesn't work out, you get depressed and shut down."

"Daniel, I don't think you quite understand what I-" Yup, he's pissed, he's standing up.

"No hang on a sec. I'm just telling you what it looks like to me. I get that you were hurt. I get that it broke you. I get it. You got a taste of what you always wanted and then it was ripped away. Of course you got pissed and of course your heart broke." Danny stands too, "But what I don't get is how you just shut yourself down after that. You were so smart Vlad, and still are. Why are you still so afraid of being close to people? Because you can't control them?" Danny laughs humourlessly, "Well what's the point then, hm? Friends keep fresh ideas and perspectives. Different backgrounds and upbringings with common goals or interests. It should be exciting! You don't want to expect everything they say!"

Vlad crosses his arms and looks away, "Well some people have an easier time than others…"

They stare off in different directions, lost in their own minds. Danny does his best to understand Vlad's point of view, he really does. It's just so depressing.

"You're being incredibly honest tonight, Daniel."

"Well 'honesty begets honesty' as Lancer always says."

"Is this you trying to ... befriend me?" The hope in those red eyes is makes his heart clench.

"We never had a chance to be friends. You made sure of that." Vlad looks away, ashamed. Danny presses on, "But maybe If you opened up a bit, I might too?"

"Hmm I see." Vlad is disappointed, it's not the same thing. He's wondering why he even let his hopes rise.

"I never said it wouldn't lead to 'befriending you'."

Vlad freezes. He whips his head back around at stares at Danny with hope again. He would offer a second-chance? Danny is the only one in the world who GETS it. This would be wonderful. This would be exhilarating. This would... be the work of the spell. 'How bittersweet. Now that he comes around, I can't trust that his feelings are genuine.'

Danny sees the light die and the suspicion grow and sighs, "I know it'll be hard for you at first but talking to someone always helps me make sense of things and steer me in the right direction - whichever direction you choose."

"What, you aren't going to force the 'evil fruitloop' to bend to your righteous ways?"

"No, I don't want to force you to do anything. Then it wouldn't come from the heart. If you stay bitter then so be it, we can go back to fighting and whatever. But if you find you're liking the whole light side," he grins, "then maybe we could, I don't know, be more like this." He waves his hand between them "honest."

"Honest." Vlad echoes, "I would like that, Daniel."

Danny rubs his eyes but agrees along with him. Vlad notices the action and blushes, knowing if he pushes it too far, he'll get a whole new level of honesty from Danny. Now his mind supplies him with previous distracting material but with electric green eyes instead. He feels his ears burn and turns away. Just a few names here and there, nothing too adventurous.

Obviously, the spell is working if they are having such a civil conversation already. Imagine if he kept this up! They could be f-friends! Wouldn't that be something! Of course, it'd help him in not wanting to fight Vlad on his latest plots too... but now the possible friendship sounds too appealing to really concentrate on all the plotting. Imagining having someone there, let alone UNDERSTANDING being a halfa... Having secrets; secret identity, secret strengths, secret powers... access to all that is the GHOST ZONE. Hell, the bonuses are endless!

They float in silence for a bit, each thinking about the pros and cons of being friends. Neither finding many cons.

"Daniel," he starts gently, "Ember and Freakshow... did they say anything?"

Danny grunts, lays sideways in the air, leaning on his elbow to regard Vlad's back thoughtfully. His eyes watch the cape flutter in slow motion. "Mhmm, something about spying on you actually. Any idea why?"

Vlad flinches "Oh, ah no. I haven't the faintest idea."

"Really." Danny says dryly. "Then why did they know you'd be at my school?"

"Well my plans weren't a huge secret Daniel, someone must have let it slip and someone who heard passed it along and so on until it got to one of them."

"Riiight. You wanna know what I think? While we're being HONEST here?"

Vlad cringes but turns around to see Danny's facial expression.

"I think you're full of shit." Danny is right in Vlad's face. "You wanna start something more than a truce here?" He gestures between the two of them, "You can't say you'd like to try honesty and then lie right after." He huffs and crosses his arms. "Try again or leave."

Vlad stares at Danny for a moment, seeing the intense green eyes hardened and expectant, body close, face closer. It's not quite the same expression or eye colour in his little fantasies from yesterday but it is very easy to replace that and get distracted.

How can he tell this young man he hired professionals to tamper with his mind so that he might feel affection every time Vlad utters his name? So he can gather his trust forcibly. How can he say all that and then let Danny think back to just how many times he's said his name? How he's pushed him. How he's AFFECTED him. Pathetic. Danny's understanding but he won't be THAT understanding. This is a very fragile truce now as it is. He can't risk it.

He steps back from Danny, "I can't," and summons his teleportation power.

Danny stands there, suddenly alone as Vlad's pink essence swirls around.

He blinks back his disappointment, looks down and growls out, "Coward," he accuses the lingering mists.

The teen decides he's had enough emotional bullshit for one night and floats down to his room to get ready for bed.


Vald flinches from the word, he feels it whisper through his teleportation with him.

"Coward."

It singes his soul. He hears the disappointment, he feels it in himself, he hears the accusation, he agrees with it.

'But there was no other way!' Vlad thinks desperately, 'He'd never have been civil with me otherwise!'

He stares at himself in his bedroom mirror. 'We could never have achieved this without the spell.'

He watches his red eyes turn blue and black hair fall into his usual gray ponytail.

'Right?'