It's time travel 101. If you find yourself in a suspicious time period, or suspect you landed at the wrong time, don't reveal anything that could alter the future and bolt the fuck out of there as fast as possible. Taylor knows that, they've studied it in class, it's part of every risk analysis manual and it's the second emergency procedure stored in their ship's AI ; so what compels them to open their mouth is a mystery. Perhaps it's the time displacement messing with their brain already, or perhaps they're scared, perhaps they want to go home and this isn't home because they're clearly much too early. There's no way to even know if they're born yet unless they either run, and risk hurting Alex, or plainly ask.
"What year is this ?" they croak, their throat parched and painful.
"2019," Alex replies without missing a beat though there's a hint of confusion on her face.
This is worse than they thought. Out of all the years to crash land in, 2019 is by far the worst.
"Who are you ?" Alex asks suspiciously.
Out of the corner of their eye, Taylor can see her bringing her hand to her gun.
"Taylor," they say, their name tumbling out with the foolish hope of the tiniest spark of recognition in Alex's eyes. "My name is Taylor." Of course, Alex doesn't react. At this point in time, Taylor isn't even a concept ; their mums aren't on speaking terms. With no more warning, panic takes over, the world gets loud and Taylor's brain zeroes in on one thought only ; they need to get out of here.
Slowly, with limbs leaden by painkillers, they scramble up only to find their face inches away from a gun. Alex has never drawn her gun on them before but she's doing it now and Taylor can feel tears threatening to spill over. All they wanted was to go home.
"Not so fast kid. You're gonna have to give me more than that." There's a foreign coldness in Alex's eyes and Taylor knows they fucked up, they're a prisoner now.
"I just want to go home," they whisper, feeling small and stupid. Pressure builds up behind their eyes as the loud beeping of the monitor takes over their ears and even the familiar breathing of Aunt Alex becomes unbearable. "Please stand back," they say. "Please, I don't want to hurt you I just want to go home."
Alex stands her ground, of course she does, she's fearless like that, and it's something Taylor has always admired. She does bring a hand to her ear, and says words that makes Taylor feel safe even if in this situation they're really really bad news. "Supergirl. We have a situation here."
"Yeyu..." the word slips out and it's a grave mistake.
Taylor knows it even before Alex's face morphs into one of disbelief, before she lowers her gun and brings her free hand to touch the brink of her nose. Her fingers are warm and calloused, recedes immediately like Taylor's skin has burned them but it's too late, Taylor's nose is identical to their Yeyu's and they know it. They don't even wish for a way out of there anymore.
"Supergirl," Alex repeats. "It's urgent."
Kara groans and Lena almost wants to mimic the sound out of frustration. She brought this on herself though, so can she really complain ? It takes her a second to realise Kara isn't reacting to her behaviour though but to some order or request that came in through her comms. "I'm a little busy Alex," she says.
"No you're not," Lena scoffs before she can hold herself back.
"I thought you wanted to talk," Kara says softly. Her words warmly wrap themselves around Lena and she hates it, hates the way Kara makes her feel, hates the way her body reacts to her presence ; but she doesn't hate her.
"I don't know if I want to talk to you. That's my whole fucking problem."
"No Alex, I'm not talking to you," Kara sighs. "I'm with Lena." She frowns. She looks beautiful and it hurts Lena on a level so deep she would have never thought it was possible. "No. No way. I'm not bringing her with me."
"Yeah you're not bringing me with you," Lena bites. "Wherever it is you're going." The thing is, Lena wants to go with her. She doesn't want her to leave and a significant part of her would still follow her to the end of the Earth.
"I'm on my way." Kara bites her lips thoughtfully ; it's still weird for Lena to witness her quirks and habits on Supergirl. "You can come if you want," she adds, "Alex said it requires your expertise. I can fly you there or you can take your car and meet us there later. It's entirely up to you."
Lena deliberates for a short second. She doesn't want to go, she wants to sleep, and possibly not wake up for a long time. But if she does go, she can get rid of the problem and then stay away from Supergirl and company. With a sigh, she marches right into her arms and Kara doesn't have the time to look taken aback. "You better fly fast. I have better things to do."
She loathes every nanosecond of the flight ; especially the way her body thrums when Kara touches her.
The flight is excruciatingly long. Well realistically, it's not ; but Lena is like a burning lump of coal in her arms and she doesn't now how to hold her anymore. It used to be easy, instinctual. She knew where to put her hands, what amount of pressure to apply, which angle of her body and cape would protect Lena when she was Supergirl and what gentle touch of the hand would make her feel safe when she was Kara. It's not like that anymore, and it probably won't ever be again. Kara has never missed anyone that much, not when they're right here.
It makes her feel so damn empty, like there's a Lena shaped hole in her body that she can't fill no matter how hard she tries. Lena is everywhere. Her couch still faintly smells of her and one of her sweater is neatly folded in her dressing. Her favourite type of ice cream is in her freezer and documentaries they'd plan to watch together are peppered in her Netflix cue. It's like they've broken up and they weren't even dating in the first place.
The moment they touch down in the DEO, Lena is out of reach again, and Kara is left helplessly trailing after her, remembering with no fondness all the times she's been the one leading Lena through the maze of corridors. Even in grey sweats and with little sleep to her account, Lena Luthor walks with purpose and power. People part in front of her, and it could almost make Kara smile. Almost.
They all but march into the med bay, Brainy falling in step with them, customary tablet in hand. Lena ignores him, and he remains impassive. They come to a stop at the foot of the bed where the crash landed alien is now awake, albeit with their eyes closed ; Kara doesn't understand the urgency of the situation. Then the young alien frowns, a crinkle forming between their eyes which blink open a second later.
Before she can really understand why, Kara's heart plunges to her stomach.
She's looking at the spitting image of Lena.
Well not exactly Lena. The wheat blond hair are different, and so is the nose. But the eyes are the same, down to the slight heterochromia, and the jaw, the jaw is all Lena.
Kara doesn't understand.
She turns to look at Alex only to see her own confusion reflected on her sister's face and a look that screams for her to confirm what she's seeing so she'll know she isn't insane. Kara can't, she's herself very much on the brink of insanity. She turns back to look at the kid, tries to do the maths, to understand how such a thing is possible, to find out when Lena would have needed to have a child for them to now be in front of them. The alien smiles hesitantly and this time, it's her own face that stares back at Kara. The sight pulls her in a thousand different directions. Is that a cruel imp ? A shapeshifter ? Who is sending that to her ? Who would go that far to hurt her that deeply ?
"Time travel," the alien supplies in a lilted voice.
The words sweep Kara in a riptide ; she feels weak at the knees. Is that her... ? Her...? The word is on the tip of her tongue, it's one that she would have never thought in a thousand years she would ever be privileged enough to use. She turns to look at Lena, feeling like they could throw aside all their differences to share this moment together. But Lena's face is cold, her stare unforgiving and wounded.
"Please," the child says, "say something."
"No," Lena snaps. "No. I'm not dealing with this. It's your fucking problem." She storms out of the room, seems to think better of it and marches back in, stopping right in Brainy's face. "Did you know about that ?" she asks angrily.
"I don't know what you mean."
"You're from the fucking future. Did you know about that ?"
He sighs, takes a step back and after glancing around the room, confirms the thing that has been hanging over all of their heads since they stepped inside of the room. "In the future, everyone knows."
Like she's the one with superspeed, Lena is out of the room before anyone can stop her. Kara doesn't follow. For the first time since she's met her, Kara isn't tethered to her every move ; instead, she's tuned into the figure lying next to her, she's tune into her child. She wants to reach out, searches desperately for words of comfort, for sentences to excuse Lena's behaviour ; but before she can truly wrap her head around it, the kid is gone in a gust of cold wind.
Lena makes it halfway through the main hall before Kara catches up with her. It seems like the days of space and respect are over. And she doesn't want to make a scene in the middle of the DEO, doesn't want to publicly make a fool of herself, but Kara is right here, much too close, and Lena is so, so angry. "Go away," she seethes. "I don't want to talk to you."
"Lena..."
"No," Lena barks, refusing to turn around to look at her, even when all the atoms in her body scream at her to do so. "You're smart. You can figure out a way to ship your spawn back to the future without me."
"Our," Kara corrects much too softly. "Our child. And they need us."
"Oh no." This time, Lena can't stop herself. She whirls around to stare Kara down, her eyes prickling with furious tears, and delivers her next words right in her face. "No. No. You don't get to do that. You don't get to be all high and mighty and fucking heroic right now. I can't even bear to be next to you, what makes you think for a single second that I want to take care of a child with you ?!"
"Because they need us," Kara repeats infuriatingly. Lena wants to fucking punch her.
"No !" she shouts. "No !" So much for not making a scene. Her head buzzes terribly. She feels like a broken record, same thoughts and ache every single second of every single fucking day. "Don't you understand !? I gave up everything for you ! I killed my brother for you ! What makes you think I would ever want a family with you when I gave up my own for a fucking liar !?"
"Lena..."
"Fuck off Kara. Fuck off."
Her palm hurts when she slams it against her chest, but Kara at least has the curtesy of taking a step back. She can feels dozens of eyes on her and it's unbearable. Their gazes hurt, and the knowledge that they've all witnessed her tantrum hurts even more. When she leaves, Kara doesn't follow her.
She stands in front of the building for God knows how long, chest heaving painfully and tears streaming down her face. She's confused, and tired, and mad, and hurt, and full of too many emotions. Luthor's aren't equipped to deal with feelings and they're spilling out of her unrestrained and indecent and she just want for everything to stop. She can't make it stop, can't make it quiet, not on her own, not without help ; and it's horrendous, but the only one who can make it quiet is Kara, and she's the one who made it loud in the first place.
Powered by a restless energy, she walks all the way back to L-Corp, unwilling to disturb her driver. She walks fast, her feet chafing against the leather of the too big boots. She'll have blisters, but it's the least of her worries.
She has a child. A fucking child. And not just that but a child who made it into early adulthood which means future her is a somewhat competent mother and the idea is laughable. Kara probably did all the work. Because she has a fucking child with Kara of all people. She entertains the thought for a second that this isn't real. That this is an imp, or a shapeshifter, or that she's finally drunk herself into another dimension. Maybe she's even dead and this is her own personal hell. She entertains it, but the thought doesn't hold for long because deep down in herself she knows it's real. She doesn't understand it, it's too foreign for her to grasp it, but this is her child, no matter if she wants it or not.
"She'll come around."
Kara feels a warm hand on her shoulder. She didn't even hear Alex approaching.
"Stop saying that," she spits with no fury. "You don't know that."
Alex sighs, wraps her arm around her shoulders and kisses her on the side of the head. "The two of you have a kid in the future. It's pretty obvious."
"Had," Kara mumbles almost inaudibly, unwilling to share her fear.
"Had ?" Alex repeats, because of course, she heard.
"Time travel is dangerous. If Lena's been shocked enough by this encounter, our future kid could be erased from existence." The thought twists low in Kara's guts. She's known her child for a grand total of five minutes, but the very concept of their disappearance is inconceivable.
"Well then we better look for Taylor," Alex says resolutely.
She pushes her forward and Kara goes with the move out of habit. They start down a random corridor, though it's no doubt very methodical in Alex's head, and start opening every door, Kara making a quick sweep inside of each room. They've reached the end of the second one by the time the name registers in her brain. "Taylor ?" she repeats, testing the name and finding it already familiar.
Alex shrugs. "Maybe Lena's secretly a Taylor Swift fan."
At that, Kara chuckles and the sound almost surprises her. She hasn't laughed in a while. Alex stops to stare at her fondly, and before long, they resume their search, checking every nook and cranny of the building.
"How do you feel ?" Alex asks as they check off another room on their list. "About all of that ?"
"I don't know," Kara admits wearily. "I haven't had much time to think about it. I never thought I'd have a child on this planet, much less with Lena, and it's a bit, a bit..."
"A bit much ?" Alex offers gently.
"Yeah," Kara whispers. "All I know is that Taylor is lost here, and I know what that's like. I have to focus on that, I have to help."
"Okay. Then I'll help you help them. And when you feel like you can talk about it, I'll be there."
Kara sighs. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You'd be dead," Alex replies bluntly. "But to be fair, so would I without you. Now, what kind of absurd place would your child hang out in ?"
"Hey !" Kara says with no trace of real offence. She goes to lightly punch Alex on the shoulder when a piercing sound drills down her ears. It's almost similar to a signal watch, but it's not a frequency she recognises. "The roof. Taylor's on the roof."
Taylor almost chucks the watch over the ledge in frustration. The time beacon is broken because of course it is and they're stranded here and their mum hates them and no one is coming to the rescue.
It's quieter up there, the sounds of the city not quite so deafening and with no one annoyingly breathing next to them, it's easier to calm down. With a couple of deep breaths, they slip the watch back on their wrist and take a defeated seat on the ground. They need a moment alone before going back down and asking for help.
Soon though, a figure plops down next to them and Taylor turns their head to find their Yeyu casually sitting crossed-leg next to them. She looks younger, not by much, but it's significant enough that Taylor is forced to notice all the ways Kara Danvers isn't their mother yet. Her suit is different, almost entirely blue with no trace of the familiar red accents. She's sporting bangs, and there's languor in the way she carries herself, a weariness that she carries all by herself instead of sharing it with Taylor's Mum.
"I'm sorry," they say eventually breaking the silence gracefully offered by Kara. "For crash landing into your life and making everything worse."
"You are in no way responsible for anything that's happening here."
Taylor sighs, a brief smile dancing on their lips. "You always do that. Or you will." They want to reach out, to huddle in the warmth and safety sitting inches from them ; but it's not their Yeyu, so they can't. The pull is strong though, the need to cry, to unload on the strong figure that has been there for them since their birth. When an arm wraps around their shoulder, a tear slips out.
"I'll help you get home, I promise."
"My time beacon is broken," Taylor says, hiccuping around the words. "No one knows I'm here."
"I don't know how many blows I've taken to the head in your time, but in 2019, I'm still pretty smart, I'll figure something out. And if I can't, I'm surrounded by people who can. I won't let you down."
"I know you won't," Taylor whispers. "You never do. Or, you know, you never will."
"This is weird," Kara chuckles sombrely. "I'm sorry you have to go through that."
"She's never looked at me like that. Mum. Lena. She's never looked at me like that."
"She'll come around," Kara says with a sad smile. "She's going through a tough time, but she'll come around."
"I know that but, but it's right now that I need my Mum and... She's not my Mum anyway."
It's silly really, crying over someone who isn't yet who they know. And Taylor feels stupid for breaking down, they feel terrible for adding pain and weight to the burden that their Yeyu already carries when what they should be doing is push forward to find a way of going home.
"I know aonah. I know exactly how you feel."
Kara draws them closer and they stay like that for a while suspended in a familiar moment that is unknown to one of them.
"Will you tell me your name ?" Kara asks when Taylor doesn't think she'll say anything more.
"My name ? Didn't Aunt. Didn't Alex tell you ?"
"She did, Taylor, but I was wondering about. Well I wanted to know if you had another one. Kryptonian."
Of course Kara would want to know about that.
Taylor glances to find her looking at them hopefully. "Lor-El," they whisper. "My name is Lor-El."
"Lor-El," Kara repeats soflty, "that's a beautiful name."
"We picked it out together. When I came out."
Kara stays silent for an excruciatingly long minute, and with each passing second, Taylor feels more and more like crawling into a hole. Their day has already been terrible, this can't be happening.
"Was I," Kara says tentatively, "will I be...?"
"Supportive ?" Taylor offers without looking at her. They feel Kara nodding, and so carefully, they go on. "Very. Overwhelmingly so even."
Kara chuckles softly. "Sounds like me."
"You also cried for two hours straight because you were convinced you'd ruin my life for not realising I was not a girl for the first eleven years. Then you took me out for ice cream, triple scoop, and Mum started a non-profit to help non-binary kids in the foster system."
"That's definitely a Lena thing to do."
Taylor clenches their jaw. "Yeah, that's definitely a Lena thing," they mumble. And so apparently is running away at the mere appearance of her future child.
