Alex Danvers is, and always has been, Taylor's favourite person. There's no competition, she trumps everyone, and sometimes even Taylor's own mothers. Alex has always been there for them, grounding but fun, wise beyond her years but also childish and fiercely competitive. Alex was there to babysit when their mums were stuck at work, she reopened dusty textbooks to help with their homework, taught them how to make perfect pancakes, how to punch, how to pick up girls (though this last one was criminally under-utilised by Taylor). She also fought tooth and nail to foster their best friend when they were kicked out from their parents' house, even when she already had a feisty teenager at home.
To make it short, Alex is Taylor's favourite person, and this version of her is no different ; it's just also really fun to kick her ass from time to time.
"God," Alex grunts when her back makes contact with the floor for the seventh time in a row, "I'm gonna have to kick my future self for teaching you anything."
"I can do that for you," Taylor replies cockily, offering their hand to help Alex up.
"Very funny," Alex mumbles, grabbing the offered hand to boost herself to her feet.
"Thank you, I thought so too," Taylor laughs, light on their feet and ready to strike again.
Alex gives up soon after that, stating important director business but Taylor knows it's because she's afraid of developing permanent bruises in various places. She accompanies them to the locker room where they find a locker with their name on it, and this is the other reason Alex the real MVP here, she doesn't ask questions. There is a mutual understanding between them that Taylor has a good reason for not activating the time beacon, for delaying their return home even when home is all they think about. Even if to be completely truthful, Taylor isn't sure their reason for staying back is a good one. It's more of a visceral feeling, anchored deep in their guts, that they have to stay and help fix the mess they accidentally created. If they play their cards right, they can even convince whoever will pick them up when they activate their beacon to drop them back a little earlier in the future so it doesn't appear like they lingered too long in the past. And for their grandma ; mostly for their grandma.
Taylor doesn't have much to do after their little sparring session, and it's weird. For the first time in a very long time, they have no obligation, no class to go to, no schedule. They can get up whenever they want in the morning and fill their time whichever way pleases them ; and they hate it. The sheer number of possibilities is almost overwhelming. They could go for a walk on the waterfront, to the library, to the swimming pool, to L-Corp, to CatCo, back to the penthouse ; in the end, they end up going for ice cream again. It's a good thing their physiology will never say no to the extra calories.
The square next to the DEO is still in shambles, no action has been taken yet to clean it up and they wonder if by some twisted time effect, this is the reason it will grow into a park. Though maybe now there is no park at all here in the future. Maybe it's been replaced by a gigantic ugly building, maybe there's no airlink station here, no artificial lake, no space to grow up and run around, no place to take Max on a picnic date.
The ice cream vendor is still here, just a little further away from his usual spot and he greets Taylor with a squinting smile, maybe already recognising them. It's strangely heartwarming, to have someone completely removed from this situation be happy to see them. They take their time choosing their flavours, since time is something they have, eventually going for stracciatella and lemon with extra sprinkles. If there's one thing they're good at, it's choosing ice cream and overthinking, perks of being raised by a chronically anxious ball of nerves and a professional food eater. They're about to dig in when light footsteps come to a stop next to them.
"Taylor ?" a cheerful voice asks. "Didn't thought I'd bump into you here."
Taylor turns to look at the newcomer, quickly averting their eyes to their ice cream cone when they come face to face with Nia. "Oh hi Nia," they say, extremely proud of themself when their voice comes out clear and only minimally flustered. "Aren't you supposed to be at work ?"
"Lunch break," Nia replies, waving her hand dismissively. "I felt like having some of National City's best ice cream for dessert. Also, crime fighting." She whispers the last detail conspiratorially, with a wink.
"Agree to disagree."
"Well where is National City's best ice cream then ?" Nia asks with a playful frown.
"Doesn't exist yet," Taylor shrugs. "What do you want ? I'm buying."
Nia selects a terrible bright blue concoction aptly named "Dream" and its smell assaults Taylor no matter which way they're facing. They've had it once, in the future, and it's the only thing they dislike about Nia. It's a mix of bubble gum, blueberry and white chocolate that in Taylor's humble opinion tastes like death. They can feel their indestructible arteries clogging just by looking at it.
"So," Nia says, happily munching on her abomination as they go to sit on the last upright bench of the area. "Can you tell me stuff about the future ? I can't dream that far ahead and I'm curious."
"I can't tell you much. Not anything important at least. You would risk brain damage when I remove myself from your memories."
"Damn," Nia mumbles, taking a large bite of her frozen plague. "I wanted to know if I'm still hot."
Taylor snorts half of their ice cream, chokes, coughs, and the world blurs as their eyes water with cold tears. "You're still very beautiful," they say to a very smug Nia when they've managed to regain their composure. "You're happy. And your suit sparkles because you decided to add more silver to it."
"More silver..." Nia repeats. "I like that. What about Brainy ?"
"What do you think ?" Taylor probs gently.
Nia only sighs in response, looking forlorn and small for a fleeting second before she draws herself to her full height and smiles. "What about you ?" she asks. "Are you happy ? Not here I mean, I know here must be complicated for you. At least I think so. But in the future ?"
"I am," Taylor replies plainly, not caring much to elaborate. It's a simple answer but it's the truth, future Taylor is very happy.
"Alex said you went to space boarding school," Nia probs. "What's that like ? Do you have friends there ? A girlfriend ? Boyfriend ? Significant other of any gender and species ?"
Taylor blinks, the ability to form coherent thoughts evading them for a second under Nia's bright smile and onslaught of questions. "Crucible Academy is great," they ultimately manage to say. "Exigent, but great. I have friends there, and also on Earth. And a girlfriend. Max." Taylor feels a bit silly at the way their voice goes soft when they say her name, the way their heart spike up at the mere thought of her ; and sad, when they realise they unconsciously tried to tune into her.
"What is she like ?" Nia asks, wiggling her eyebrows with a teasing smile.
"Tall," Taylor deadpans, taking a crunchy bite of the wafer cone. "She's a princess. Heir to a fascist kingdom. Really good at sword fighting. Funny, a little guarded, soft and warm even if she pretends to be tough," they add, words flowing out easily. "She likes The Cranberries, the Irish rock band, not the fruit, and thinks Earth is very cool because it was her father's favourite planet."
"You miss her ?"
"A lot," Taylor whispers. But this is important.
"I understand," Nia adds with an encouraging smile. "I don't know if you've noticed, but we're very big on the self sacrificing idiot trend here."
"You...?"
"Precognition," Nia laughs gently, before she points at the watch. "But I won't say anything. You do you."
Taylor exhales longly, loosening the knot that had begun to form in their chest. "Thank you."
Kara hovers hesitantly in front of Lena's office. Literally hovers ; she feels her feet leave the ground at least a demi-dozen of times while she stares at the door. She can feel Jess' burning eyes on her and focuses hard on keeping both feet on the floor. It's a real gift from Rao that Jess stepped up when she did, picking up the load after Eve's untimely betrayal ; Kara wonders how she can thanks her. Lena has a tendency to work herself to exhaustion and if it weren't for Jess, Kara is utterly convinced that this whole place would fall apart.
"You can go in you know," Jess says, returning her attention to her paperwork. "Your privileges have been restored Miss Danvers and she'll be happy to see you."
"I," Kara stammers.
"But if you hurt her again," Jess adds without looking up, "there will be no place for you to hide. I will personally hunt you."
"Understood," Kara gulps with a sharp nod. Reasonably there's not much Jess could do to hurt her, but the short woman is also very scary in her determination so Kara feels like it's better to comply. Not that she intends on hurting Lena ever again, but she also knows it's not something she can fully control. Anger can rise, words can fly, and even if she is determined to love and protect Lena for the rest of her life, it'd be unrealistic to place herself above temper and accidents.
She stares at the door for another full minute, then knocks, and steps in.
Lena is working, probably forgot about lunch entirely, and doesn't raise her head when Kara enters. Instead, she lifts her hand in a painfully familiar -just a sec- gesture, speed reads through two pages and signs her document with a flourish. Only then does she puts her pen down and meets Kara's gaze. She smiles hesitantly, it's almost not there for a second, perhaps just a figment of Kara's imagination for a moment, and then it widens, reaches her eyes and she breathes two heavenly syllables. "Kara..."
"I brought lunch," Kara whispers awkwardly, raising the takeout bag and waving it around before letting her arm drop back to her side.
"Oh," Lena exhales, "I forgot to eat again, didn't I ?"
Kara nods in reply. It's all she can do when Lena gets up and rounds the desk slowly, clad in spray painted black slacks and a wrap around blue blouse that has no business being this revealing. She feels her cheeks heat up, averts her eyes respectfully though it's too late, Lena's silhouette is already engraved in her mind.
They sit on the couch, three feet apart then just a bit closer, shuffling towards each other stiffly. It's only now that Kara realises they used to touch all the time. A hand on a forearm, on an elbow, around shoulders. Fingers brushing on cheeks, on hair, against one another for every possible reason when passing a book, a cup, a sweater. Now that they're in each others vicinity again, not touching is excruciating.
Kara sighs, then holds her breath, pushing every thought out of her head in favour of focusing on the single minded motion of tucking a loose strand of Lena's hair behind her ear. She lets her hand lingers for a second more than is necessary, though the gesture itself was already superfluous, the tip of her fingers burning against ever soft skin. Lena looks straight ahead, still as a statue ; but when Kara retreats she grabs her hand, brushes her lips against it and settles it on her thigh.
"Let's eat," she says.
Surprisingly, or maybe not, Kara has managed to forget this is why she's here.
Softly, she asks Lena about her work, pretending that she hasn't kept herself up to date about everything relating to L-Corp. She wants to hear her talk about it herself. So Lena talks, and Kara fills herself with the sound of her voice until it's all that she is. Her hand doesn't leave Lena's thigh for the duration of their lunch, she leaves it here, light and somehow heavy too, even if it means she has to eat her burger one handed and it spills on her lap. She can't help but steal glances, afraid that she could forget what Lena looks like if she doesn't look at her enough. It feels familiar, yet new, tender, and raw ; and it hits her straight in the face that given enough time to heal, the two of them could be forever.
Lena is used to feeling awkward. There hasn't been a single day in her life where she hasn't felt at least somewhat out of place and at this point she's even considering trademarking this feeling. Feeling awkward in Kara's apartment however is new, and she doesn't like it. Even when they barely knew each other, when she was not yet in love with her, and even when she was, holding back constantly, she's always felt at ease here, safe, welcomed. It doesn't seem to be the case anymore, and it's not entirely of her own doing. Sure, she's sitting a bit too straight, her head is held just a bit too high, the grasp she has on her wine glass is just a bit too tight ; but it's not her fault that everybody keeps on surreptitiously staring at her before looking away very conspicuously.
Even Kara is acting weird, fluttering everywhere, never still long enough for the group to actually start a game and topping Lena's glass every time she takes a sip out of it. Her nervous ballet is exhausting and all Lena wants is for everyone else to go home so she can just set everything aside and hug her until the world ends. She craves her in an all consuming way, can still feel the hand she put on her thigh earlier, burning like the sweetest of brand. She avoids looking at it, afraid that if she does, everyone will know and it will extinguish this spark before it can truly burn.
It's weird, to think of the two of them as something real and not as a far fetch daydream or a frightening possibility. Well, Lena is still scared, of course she is ; but she's also reassured and comforted in the knowledge that Kara loves her, that they will heal and they will be okay. It already hurts just a little less, it's already that much easier to breathe, and when Kara smiles at her from the other side of the room, Lena smiles back like it's her sole purpose in life. If she allows herself to lean in the feeling for a moment, maybe it is.
"Hell no, we are not playing Monopoly !" Alex exclaims, startling Lena out of her warm thoughts. "Lena always wins and it's unfair."
"Aw, stop whining babe," Kelly laughs. "It's okay to lose from time to time."
"Considering Lena's previous games," Brainy says, "there is a 79.9% chance that she will indeed win. We should play Monopoly as a way of celebrating her return to game night."
All at once, Lena deflates on herself, feeling dizzy in the face of their obvious care for her. They want her to be here, they are happy that she is, and maybe they even missed her. It's almost too much.
"Lena ?" Kara asks softly, much closer to her than she was a second ago. "What do you think ? Monopoly ?"
"I," Lena stammers, washing away the onslaught of emotions with a giant gulp of wine. "I think Taylor should choose," she deflects. "They're the newcomer."
Taylor glares at her in an -I will murder you in your sleep- way that reminds her of Alex in a way that feels right to a point that her chest tightens painfully. This is her family, there's no denying that ; they all fit together like puzzle pieces, and she's not really ready for that.
"I'm not bad at Pictionary I guess," Taylor offers with a shrug. "You can be on my team."
They do end up making a pretty good team, which is surprising because Lena can't draw to save her life ; all honour falls on Taylor who's just insanely good at deciphering her scribbles. Kara and J'onn still wipe the floor with them though and Alex immediately accuses them of cheating which devolves into a popcorn fight that Lena dodges by slipping behind the kitchen counter in a quest for healthier snacks for Kelly and herself. Kara still keeps her favourite things in her cupboards, judging by the date on some of the packets she never stopped buying them, and Lena takes longer than she needs to process this information. She knows Kara never stopped thinking about her, never stopped loving her even when they were at each other's throats ; but seeing a brand new jar of cream cheese and veggie crisps makes it weirdly concrete in an almost heavy way. It's like Kara loves her too much, cares more than she should, and Lena can't stomach all of it. She struggles between wanting to be swallowed whole by Kara's love and wanting to run and hide for fear of being crushed by it. Because Lena is strong, she has to, she lives behind walls so thick she's almost unreachable ; but if someone can break her, it's Kara, and it's a harsh thing to know.
Movement next to her startles her and the bag of crisps explodes in her hands as she's forcefully dragged out of her thoughts.
"You okay ?" Kara asks gently, her voice low, warm, safe. "You can hide in my bedroom for a bit if you need a time out. I don't mind."
Lena's heart stutters. She doesn't dare to look at Kara, she's much too close for that. "I'm fine," she whispers, shaking her head dismissively.
Slowly, giving her enough time to move away, Kara reaches out to uncurl her fingers one by one and retrieve the crushed snacks from her hands.
"Do you want to talk about it, or do you want some space ?" she probs, smartly ignoring Lena's bullshit answer.
"I don't know," Lena replies honestly.
"I'll stay with you for a moment then, if that's okay. I need a time out." She gestures to her ear with no other explanations but Lena understands nonetheless ; she knows now how loud the world can get for Kara. She wishes she'd known sooner, that Kara had just let her in, had told her and let her comfort her. She grits her teeth, the sharp pain reminding her that Kara is doing that now, that's she starting to open up, to trust her. She doesn't entirely get how retreating only a few feet away from her friends' ruckus is enough to relieve Kara but she seems content, just standing next to her, so she doesn't question it.
Seconds pass, turn into minutes and Kara doesn't move. When she's ready, Lena shifts to look at her, and even under the kitchen's lights, she's ethereally beautiful in a way that would be utterly unfair if Lena wasn't allowed to exist in her space. Instead, she basks in her glow, revels in how steady and warm she is until eventually, she forgets to be afraid.
