Hey guys - good news! I managed to get this one final update in before I go away on holiday! Though it looks like this one will be the last update I post for a while. I hope you enjoy it, and that you all have good summers. :)

This week's shout-outs go to: sarahmichellegellarfan1, AnaleighJames, ArtistsChild93, SocietyMember, Time-Dog, Katyperry22 and Pyra Sanada. An especially big thank you to all new reviewers - I love it when you guys do that. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters; only Alice is mine.


They arrived back at Mos Eisley just before it got dark, and with the temperature dropping fast, Alice was glad to have Luke's solid warmth to cling to as they flew through the shadowy city, even though he hadn't spoken a word to her since they'd left his aunt and uncle's house. This confirmed her hypothesis that she had upset him really quite a lot on their trip by essentially rejecting his Force sensitive theory to his face.

It's not my fault, she complained in her head, as the silence prickled uncomfortably between them, a tangible weight even over the noise of the engines and the whistle of wind, I'm willing to admit that the Force exists – isn't that enough? What does he want from me, to sign up to his little Jedi school?

There was a soft dying wheeze from the bike as Luke cut the engines, breaking into her thoughts. Alice peered around, straining her eyes to try and see through the darkness, "Are we there?"

"Yes," he said, climbing off the bike, "I'll return the speeder in the morning. Come on." He placed his hands either side of her waist, and she rested hers on his shoulders, and he lifted her down from the speeder, setting her gently on the ground. She trailed closely at his shoulder as they traced the path back to the transport.

There was a caped figure waiting for them, and after a brief moment of fear, Alice realised it was Lando, and not some random Batman wannabe figure.

"Welcome back," he said, raising his eyebrows at the expressions on their faces, "good trip?"

Alice resisted the urge to flick Luke a glance out of the corner of her eye, and said, in as noncommittal a tone as she could manage, "It was interesting. Where's Leia?"

"She's on board."

She nodded and swept off up the Falcon's ramp without a backward glance, though she could feel both Lando and Luke watching her as she left. "Leia?"

"In here, Alice," Leia called, in that long-suffering way of hers.

Far from her usual exuberant self, Alice entered quietly and settled herself into one of the chairs on the bridge, wrapping her arms around her knees and hugging them close. Leia, kneeling on the floor with several pieces of fabric spread over her lap, raised her eyebrows in concern, "Are you alright?"

"No," she replied, glumly, "let's not talk about it. What are those?"

"Your costume," her friend said, holding up the cloth and displaying it to Alice, "and you're back just in time to try it on."

Alice stared at the scraps in Leia's hands, "Where, pray tell, in the whole, even wider than previously suspected universe, would those constitute a costume, or indeed, clothing of any kind?"

"Tatooine," said Leia, with a grim edge to her tone that Alice didn't like, "Clothes. Change. Now."

"Thanks, Leia," Alice grumbled, taking them from her, "you're a real pal."

The two of them worked tirelessly through the night to 'get her into character' – both in terms of her appearance, and actually planning what she would do once she was inside. Leia allowed her about two hours of sleep, then woke her up again. The transformation process was so intense that by the time dawn had come and Alice was due to travel with Lando to Jabba's palace, she was barely recognisable.

Turned out the clothes Leia had brought her were barely clothes at all – in fact, the garment in question was closer to a leotard than anything else, and had large diamonds cut out of the fabric around Alice's waist. She was wearing copious amounts of makeup and Leia had braided half her hair back in a faux undercut and teased the other side out into a veritable explosion of curls.

She stared at herself in the mirror once more before stepping out to meet the boys, "I have honestly never looked more drunk than I do now. I look like I've just stepped off the streets of Ibiza, for goodness' sake."

"You look authentic," Leia said, sternly, "and that's all that matters."

Alice turned and glared at Leia, "Ha. You're right, of course, as usual."

"Here," Leia said, pushing a thick piece of…papyrus or something similar into her hand, "you'll need this."

"What is it?" She said, eyeing it curiously.

The title at the top, written in Leia's neat handwriting, read… "Proof of former employment?" Alice read, her mouth dropping open in disbelief, "A C.V.? I need a C.V.? I thought I was supposed to be a slave, Leia, not applying for a job."

"It's just a falsified list of who's owned you in the past. Lando told me while you were away yesterday that all of Jabba's slaves are checked out to make sure they're not assassins or spies of rival criminals," Leia explained patiently, "this will help. Now come on. We've got to go."

"Fine," Alice said, with a good deal of dignity, as she marched out of the door and into the main cabin. To her mingled relief and disappointment, Luke wasn't there. Lando was though, lounging in one of the chairs on the opposite side of the room. He leapt inexplicably to his feet as she entered, and gave her an extremely odd, dizzy sort of look that she couldn't really identify.

"Alice…" Lando said, his eyes wide.

"No comments please," she snapped, tugging at the clingy hem of the ridiculously short shorts, "let's just get this over with."

Leia, who had emerged from the room behind her, gave her creation one proud nod and smiled at Alice, "Good luck, you two."

"Thanks, Leia," Alice said, opening her arms for a hug. Leia obliged at once, making her feel a bit like crying.

"We'll see you in a couple of days."

"Alright." She pulled back and looked around the Falcon, hoping she'd get to see the crappy old spaceship again. "Kay. So…bye." She walked to the ramp, then hesitated, and glanced over her shoulder at Leia, "Where's Luke?"

Lando answered, his tone very carefully diplomatic, "He left early; said he had to return that bike you borrowed last night. I asked him if he would stay and see you off…"

"But he didn't want to," she said, miserably, "okay."

Leia rested a hand gently on Alice's shoulder, "Alice-"

She gave her friend a weak smile, trying to get herself back in the slave girl zone and stop thinking about the fact that Luke didn't want to say goodbye to her, "I'm good. See you soon."

"Good luck," called Leia as Alice set off down the ramp, her tone heavy with sympathy.

BREAK

"Phew," Alice said some time later, panting slightly as they trudged through the hot sand, "I'd forgotten how steamy it is here."

"Look on the bright side," Lando said grumpily, "at least you're not wearing this ridiculous helmet."

"You look on the bright side," she retorted, "at least your hands aren't tied together."

"Hey, the rope thing was your idea, not mine."

"Yeah," Alice said, stumbling a little as her foot was sucked into a small pit of sand, "but I didn't anticipate it being so difficult to walk without hands, did I?"

They had both agreed that in the interest of keeping their disguise as realistic as possible, they would both go in full costume the whole way to Jabba's palace, just in case he had little minions hopping around in the sand. Unfortunately, this meant that Lando was wearing a leather suit and a helmet with the visor pulled right down to hide his face, and Alice's hands were bound by a rope that he was holding.

"Keep your hair on, we're almost there."

She squinted against the sun and saw that they were indeed almost in the shade of Jabba's palace – the building towered in the middle of the otherwise empty desert.

"Good," she huffed, catching up with Lando, who had paused to wait for her, "do you think they'll give us a drink when we get there?"

"I wouldn't count on it," he said, amused.

They reached the huge metal doors within a few minutes, and Alice took the opportunity, before Lando knocked, to get her breath back and wipe away the lovely accumulation of sweat on her forehead.

"Yuck," she muttered, smoothing back a few stray strands of hair, "who'd want me as a slave right now?"

"Relax," Lando said, glancing at her, "Jabba isn't fussy."

Alice stared at him, her mouth wide, "You…you just-…rude. It's uncalled for."

He ignored her, and balling his hand into a fist, he rapped the door hard, "Hello?"

There was a sharp click and Alice jumped in surprise as a robotic eye-device thing sprang out of the door and seemed to examine them both suspiciously. It made some odd twittering noises, which luckily, Lando seemed to understand, "I wish to speak to Jabba." He tugged on the rope around Alice's wrists, jerking her forward. She glared at him. Ow. "Never mind about the girl – I have urgent business with your master. You wouldn't want to keep him waiting, would you?"

There was a brief pause, then the eye withdrew and with an ugly crunch, the door started to open.

"You're going to pay for that at some point," Alice muttered in Lando's ear as they walked inside.

"Shh."

She snapped her mouth shut and tried to adopt an attitude of quiet obedience – no easy feat when she was fuming slightly, not to mention scared witless. Suddenly, her heroic act of taking Leia and Luke's place didn't seem so heroic. In fact, it seemed downright stupid.

Footsteps came echoing down the hall and an alien who looked like he had an octopus for a head appeared. He stopped a few feet short of them and glared at them with watery pink eyes. Then he made an odd sort of hissing noise and said, in halting English, "Welcome."

"Take me to Jabba," Lando said with a very believable air of impatience.

The doorkeeper smiled a very ugly smile, then glanced over at Alice, who dropped her eyes immediately to the floor, "This girl?"

"A gift for his mightiness," Lando said, arrogantly.

The doorkeeper let out a sharp bark of laughter, and lurching forward, grasped Alice's chin roughly and dragged her face up so he could see it more clearly. Alice bit her lip and tried not to gag as he exhaled a cloud of foul air into her face. He studied her for a moment, then smiled leeringly.

"Very well. You will follow me."

"So far, so good," Lando muttered to Alice.

"I wish you wouldn't say that," she hissed back.

The doorkeeper led them through a dark hangar into a crowded, sweaty, smelly room. All sorts of people crowded the room, aliens, humans and even a few droids, who were all talking and laughing and chattering away as if they were having the time of their lives. The scene was dominated by a huge space-slug with little arms and amber eyes, who was reclining on a raised throne in the middle of the room.

Jabba is literally a slug?! Why didn't anyone tell me? All we need to do is pour some salt on him and we're home free!

As she and Lando progressed through the room, people paused in their conversations, watching with interest as they approached the throne. By this stage, Alice had progressed from a feeling of mild concern to something nearing outright panic, though it was manifesting itself in the form of an utter inability to talk or do anything other than breathe quickly and shallowly. Which was probably for the best.

Oh man, what was I thinking?! I'm gonna die.

To make matters worse, while she was staring steadfastly ahead and trying not to make eye contact with anyone, a tell-tale splash of pastel green caught her eye to the right. There was only one bounty hunter with an outfit that inappropriately soothing in colour. Uh-oh. The return of Boba Fett and the fabulous pastel ensemble.

Slowly, she turned her head back to face the front, staying as silent as possible as they were deposited in front of King Slug, or rather, Jabba the Hutt. Seen up close, he was even more vomit-inducing than he had been from across the room. Alice winced. Of all possible life forms, he had to be a slug. Well, at least he's not a spider…

Lando took the lead, to Alice's strong relief, stepping forward and bowing obsequiously, "Mighty Jabba, I have returned from my task, with a gift to show my devotion."

He put his hand on her shoulder and pushed her forward so she ended up about two or three feet from Jabba's throne.

Oh…oh, dear god.

If her hands hadn't been tied together, she would have definitely thrown them up to cover her nose and mouth. The smell of Jabba the Hutt was…well, it was quite pungent to say the looked up, her eyes watering, just in time to see a very long and horribly slimy tongue emerge from his mouth and flick across his lips. Okay…that was disgusting.

"Slave!" Lando gave her a soft smack around the head that probably appeared worse than it was, a none-too gentle reminder that she was currently staring in open-mouthed horror at the crime lord, "You will show the proper respect due to his mightiness Jabba the Hutt."

Taking the initiative, Alice leaned forward, bowing as low as she could without actually letting her face touch the floor. This show of respect was met with a rumble of amusement from her new 'owner', which she supposed was a good thing, even though the sound of his laughter made her skin crawl.

She looked up in time to see the hutt gesture to one of the several other women scattered around the room, a pretty blue-skinned being with a shock of red hair who stepped forward at once. He burbled something at the woman, and she nodded, but Alice was completely lost. For all she knew, Jabba had just said that she should be taken away and beheaded.

The woman clicked her tongue, making her jump slightly, and pulled her upright with a strong grip on her forearm.

Er…Lando?

She glanced over her shoulder, but her friend had stepped back into the ranks of guards, and Alice didn't have time to find him before her new guardian was leading her off deeper into the palace. Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear.

The further they progressed into Jabba's dirty, dank, and frankly, stinking palace, the more Alice felt like she may have been a bit overconfident in putting herself forward for this mission. Sure, she'd done it to help Han and to protect both Luke and Leia, but that wasn't going to do much good if she messed this up. The woman who was guiding her said nothing; in fact, she didn't even spare her a glance as she turned corner after corner. She felt smaller and less confident by the second.

Suddenly, the woman stopped so abruptly that Alice almost bumped into her. She almost went to do an awkward smile/wave combo then remembered that she was, after all, supposed to be a slave, so hung her head instead. Smooth…

A hand appeared in her line of vision and snapped its fingers. She looked up, and the woman said something briskly in an unrecognizable language, clearly an instruction.

"Um…" Alice stared at her, "Sorry, I don't…"

"Ah." The woman tsked, then said, in heavily accented English, "Your paper."

"Paper?"

The woman nodded and snapped her fingers again impatiently. What does she mean paper? Why would I have paper- oh! My fake C.V.! Got it…

Fumbling with her bound hands, she managed to pull out the piece of dry yellow paper Leia had given her and handed it over. The woman unfolded it, studied it, then hissed, revealing some very white, very pointy teeth. She narrowed her eyes at Alice and pointed at her almost threateningly, "Stay."

Woof, Alice thought drily, nodding once to show her understanding. The woman gave her one more suspicious glance, then went swishing off. Now that she was alone, she took a moment to study the room she'd been brought to – it was large, and long, and full of clothes rails, like a shop. In this case, a lingerie shop. She wrinkled her nose at the rows and rows of bikinis and string-like catsuits.

She rocked restlessly on her heels and wondered what it was Leia had put on her CV that had made the woman actually hiss. And what's going to happen now…?

Footsteps echoed down the corridor beyond the door, and the woman reappeared, accompanied by the same pink-eyed alien that had met her and Lando at the door. Oh, Alice thought, unenthusiastically, it's you.

He was holding her piece of paper in his hand and gave her a sickening leer as he entered the room, "Human."

Alice raised her eyebrows. …What's your point?

He grinned, and chuckled thickly, "We have not had a human for many months. My master is pleased." He glanced down at the paper in his hands, then studied her with his filmy pink eyes, "You dance."

It didn't sound like a question, but the way he was looking at her suggested a response was required. So she said, "Um…no?"

Please say Leia didn't say I could dance…

He gave an irritable hiss, but nodded, and spoke sharply to the woman. She bowed her head passively, and with one final unpleasant smile, the man left. Alice turned to her companion helplessly.

"You will…how do you say…" She lifted her right hand and started fanning herself, then gave her a pointed look, as if to say, 'get it?'

Hallelujah. "Yes," she agreed, unable to stop herself from breaking into a relieved smile, "I understand."

"Good," the woman said, clicking her fingers and beckoning her forward, "Come quickly. We must make your face."

Reluctantly, Alice sat where she was told – at once her mentor grabbed her face and started turning it this way and that. Alice would honestly be surprised if anything was left of the make-up Leia had layered on her that morning; she was relatively sure she'd sweated it all off on the walk over here. Clearly her companion thought so too: after another moment, she tittered quietly, grabbed the space equivalent of a face wipe and started scrubbing at Alice's face, obviously intending to make a fresh start. Urgh, Alice thought indignantly, squirming as the woman mopped at her as if she was three years old, Leia did this much more nicely.

After two hours (two hours!) of dabbing, brushing and powdering, the woman, who it turned out was called Nyra, pronounced her complete and ready to take up slave duties.

"Two minutes," Nyra said, pointing at a large and extremely unhelpful alien clock on the wall, "then we go."

"Yup," Alice said, feeling extremely sick, "gotcha."

Nyra shook her head and left. Alice stared at herself in the mirror – she was almost unrecognisable beneath a veritable plethora of various makeup products, which she probably couldn't even name let alone apply herself. Her hair, thank goodness, had been left as Leia had done it earlier.

Gosh. This is a…distinctive look. The dusky eyeshadow gave her a bit of a shock; for a minute she thought she'd somehow gotten two black eyes without realising it. The matching dark blue/purple lipstick also gave her a tinge of the Goth…but seeing as she was only going to be fanning His Mightiness the Ugly Slug, she supposed it didn't really matter.

There was a brisk knock at the door, and Alice flinched away as it opened. To her relief, she recognised Lando standing outside.

"Thank goodness," she said, grabbing his hand and dragging him into the room, "I'm freaking out, this is all so much scarier than I thought it'd be, and that woman was wearing latex, and-"

"Hey," he said, catching her by the shoulders, "calm down. You'll be fine – you were great out there before. Just…blend and I promise, everything is going to be alright. I might not be able to speak to you again before the end of the day but I'll try and find you after dark."

"Okay," she said, unhappily.

He gave her a reassuring smile, and pushing up his visor, leaned forward and gave her a light kiss on the forehead.

This rather lovely gesture was punctuated by a loud gasp from the doorway, followed by a volley of alien insults from Nyra, who had just appeared on the scene. She swatted Lando around the head and sent him running before Alice could even decide if she was allowed to laugh or not.

Her task of protecting her fellow slave girls apparently complete, Nyra turned back to Alice, and gave her a quick once over. "Perfect," she said, with some satisfaction, pushing one loose curl of hair back into place, "come now. Time to go."

"Um…?" Alice held up her still bound wrists tentatively. Nyra tutted to herself, and with strong fingers she quickly undid the knotted rope. "There. Follow."

She did as she was told, and trotted back down the corridors after Nyra, hyperventilating the entire way. What if the random aliens try to talk to me? What if they tell me to dance? What if Boba Fett recognises me?

"Trust in the Force, Alice. And you'll do well."

Ben. You have no notion of how good it is to hear your voice, my ghostly pal.

And for a wonder, for the first time since he'd started haunting her, Ben actually replied. "Glad to be of assistance."

An irrepressible grin spread over Alice face, and it lingered there as she entered Jabba's main chamber. She had an undead Jedi giving her advice. That had to be worth something…


Thank you for readinga and please review!