The sound of the crashing waves from La Push bring a feeling of my childhood back to me. We decided to stay until the sun went down which excited me, I hadn't been to La Push in such a long time and I wanted to enjoy every second here.
I smile to myself as Paul and I make our way down to the edge of the water, our hands softly brush while we walk side by side and I feel my heart jump nervously.
Paul carefully intertwines our fingers together and I smile softly looking at the ground where we walk.
"Is this alright?" Paul asks, "Me holding your hand like this?"
"I don't mind, I like it." I smile and Paul gently rub circles on my hand with his thumb.
We continued to walk along the shore for about ten minutes until we stopped. Paul laid a blanket down on the sand for the two of us to sit on, we sat down and watched the sky become darker.
I look over to see Paul watching me, he quickly looks away and looks out toward the water.
My eyes can't help but look at him and study his features, his eyes are such a warm shade of brown. They feel so inviting and kind whenever he looks at me, it makes me feel almost vulnerable.
His copper skin seems to glow, it feel so warm even as we sit out in the chilly weather. I am tempted to scoot closer to him and warm up, but I won't allow myself to do so.
"Have you always lived in Forks?" I hear myself ask him softly.
"No," Paul begins. "I was born in Tacoma. I lived there with my parents, they divorced and then my father and I moved to Forks to be closer to his family."
I feel Paul scoot his hand closer to my own until our hands connect. Our eyes are still fixated on the water, the waves relax me but being with Paul relaxes me even more.
"What about you?" He asks me. "What made you decide to move back to Forks and leave Colorado?"
My eyes gaze down at the sand and my heart beat increases, my nervousness grows as I try to figure out how to word my answer.
I bite down on my bottom lip, he seems to notice my nervous behavior and he gently squeezes my hand causing my heart to jump.
"I'm sorry. You don't have to say anything you don't want to..." He responds gently. I smile at him apologetically.
"It's fine, I'm just trying to figure out a way to word this without saying too much." I say and Paul nods understanding my words.
"After my mom and I moved to Colorado, I started high school and I began dating this guy." I begin, Paul tenses up but I give him a reassuring smile and he begins to relax once more. I figure he may know where this is going, but I hope not.
"We dated for two weeks and I ended things with him. After things ended, he began stalking me. He wasn't necessarily doing anything that is considered illegal." I sigh in frustration at the memories.
"When someone has stalked you all through high school it's exhausting. I was constantly living in fear. So I decided to move back to the only other home I knew he would never find me."
By the time I finish talking, Paul's breathing is deep and quick. He looks as if he's trying to control what he might say or that he's trying to calm himself.
He looks angry, I frown softly.
"Paul?" My voice is soft, I don't want to startle him. "Are you okay?"
"Willow." He whispers. He closes his eyes and takes a deep and slow breath, I give hand a gentle squeeze.
"I'm sorry for everything you had to go through." He finally manages to say. "You didn't deserve any of that. No one deserves to live years through fear and hell." He seems agitated.
"I'm okay now," I try to reassure him. I don't know why he's taking this so hard, why it's angering him so much. He hardly knows me, we barely know one another. "Trust me." I say.
He stands up and looks out at the water. I get up and go to stand beside him, I look over at him and our eyes connect. He looks angry, irritated, and frustrated. I'm confused but I don't know what more I can say or do to calm him.
"It was a while go. Don't let what I said upset you this much..." I say softly, I'm trying to find the words to rationalize this and go calm him. "We hardly know one another."
Paul looks pained at my words and I feel a small hint regret after I've said them.
"I- I didn't mean it like that." I stammer out. Paul gives me a weak smile and he looks back out at the water.
"I know you didn't. I know it doesn't make sense why I'm so upset over this." Paul says, I place my hand against his arm turning to stand in front of him now.
Our eyes connect once more.
"I have time."
Paul breaks our eye contact and looks down. "I wish I could explain." He replies gently, I frown in confusion.
"You can. I'm listening." I give him a gentle smile but it doesn't seem to lighten his mood very much. His expression looks sad and frustrated, it makes me feel helpless like there isn't really anything I can say or do.
"If you decide to tell me, I'll listen. I don't want to make you feel pressured into tell me something you aren't ready for." I say. Paul gives me a remorseful expression.
"Thank you, Willow." He takes my hand and gently holds it with his warm one. "I wish I could tell you. But I don't want to complicate things with you."
Paul takes my hand as he squeezes it softly. "We should head back."
We pack up the blanket and walk back to his car, the sound of the waves crashing behind us. It becomes more cold than I wished it would have and I wish I brought my jacket with me that I left at Paul's house.
I find myself feeling curious, but I don't want to overstep any boundaries that Paul might have.
Maybe a sister or a family member he was close to had been in a similar situation as myself and that's why he reacted the way that he did tonight.
We get in the car and Paul starts up the engine.
"Did you bring my jacket by any chance?" I ask him gently.
"Oh..." He says, "I'm sorry. I forgot it at my place, if you would like I can drive there and get it for you?"
I smile at his kind offer. "Thank you, I really appreciate it."
Once we arrive at Paul's house I find myself feeling tired. Paul returns with my jacket and I slip it on, the warmth of the soft fabric making me even more tired. A small yawn leaves my lips and Paul smirks.
"Tired, sleeping beauty?" He teases me and I giggle softly.
"Yes, we fell asleep so late last night. How aren't you tired?" I ask him in amazement, he still seems so much more awake than I am. Paul chuckles causing my heart to jump at the melody-like sound.
"I had more coffee after I took you home." He states with a shrug.
"How many cups?" I ask him curiously.
"Four."
"That's impressive. If I ever stay with you another night, remind me to attempt to drink four cups." I say.
Paul pulls into my apartment complex and parks the car, we step out and I turn to face him.
"Would you like to come inside?" My eyes are hopeful and a smile grows on Paul's face.
"Yeah, that would be great." He answers. I smile at him politely and we walk to my apartment together.
I unlock my door and we walk inside, Paul looks around the tiny apartment and a notice and small grin begin to appear.
"What?" I ask curiously.
"Nothing, it's just—your apartment really suits you." He says and I giggle at his words.
"Suits me? How so?"
"You seems so put together and organized, that's how your apartment looks. Everything is neat and put together."
I look around the apartment, his words are right. Everything is organized and completely put together, I smile at his compliment.
"I guess I am sort of a clean freak." I giggle and Paul turns to me.
"Do you have any quirks?"
I look away and stifle my laughter. "I organize my coffee mugs and plates by color if that counts for anything." I state feeling slightly embarrassed.
"This I have to see!" He exclaims and I lead him into the tiny kitchen. I open the cupboard where I keep the coffee mugs, red, yellow, pink, and green mugs with matching plates fill the area.
Paul looks amazed and happy all in one, he turns to me.
"This is really cute actually." He says softly and I feel my cheeks heat up at his choice of words. "What made you decide to get mugs in the same color at match them all together?"
"I pick a color for how I'm feeling." I say quietly as I look down and smile feeling slightly embarrassed at my strange habit.
"And how does that work? Which color goes with which emotion?"
"Red goes with feeling irritable, yellow stands for happy, green goes with feel unwell, and pink stands for love." As I finish my sentence I find myself feeling embarrassed and shy.
Paul just looks at me and looks at me fondly with a caring expression in his eyes, I look away and giggle quietly.
"Maybe I'll start color coating something of mine too." He responds. He winks at me and I swear I can feel my knees giving out on me.
"Maybe so." I say as I give him a smile.
