can't remember if I've said before, but all of the song lyrics at the end of the chapters (at least so far) are by John Mark McMillan! This story is named after a song of his by the same name, and the themes in the album Mercury & Lightning relate heavily. So if you're interested in my thought process and inspiration for this story at all, you should check those out!


Seth recoiled like he'd been punched. "You—you know me?"

Eve's eyes widened into a startled expression. "I mean—well, I used to, at least. A little bit."

"Why didn't you say that before?"

"I didn't know! I didn't recognize you until just now."

Seth couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that someone he knew had found him again. Why did this keep happening? He covered his face. "I guess now you're going to try to get me to join your side, aren't you?"

"Uh, no." Eve crossed her arms. "What are you even talking about?"

Seth looked up again. "Everybody who knew me before just wants something from me. They all want me to believe they're right and join their side and help them. You're probably my long-lost cousin now or something!"

An expression of something that might have been pity crossed Eve's face. "I'm not gonna ask you for anything. And besides, I'm Fair Folk. We're neutral; we don't really have a side." She raised an eyebrow at him. "And you're the one who brought me here. I didn't even realize who you were until just a minute ago. If anyone has ulterior motives in this situation, it's you." She seemed to be repressing

a smug look.

Seth stared at her blankly for a moment. She had a point. But… "You aren't going to try to tell me about myself? Who to be, what to do?"

Eve shook her head. "No. I could tell you about yourself—I mean, at least what you were like when I used to know you, 'cause that was a while ago, you know—but only if you want me to. It's not like I'm in charge of you."

"That's true." Seth thought for a moment. "Um… who are you? How did you know me?" He hoped he wasn't making a mistake by asking.

"I already told you I'm Eve," she said, smiling. "I'm Fair Folk. I met you a couple times before you lost your memories. We only knew each other for a couple weeks, but we were friends."

That word stuck in Seth's mind. Friends. A friend was someone who cared about you as a person, not what you could do for them. He couldn't remember ever having a friend. "We…were friends?"

"Yeah. You told me about cool adventures you went on a lot. I'd never really been on any before."

"And that's why you came here. You wanted some sort of adventure."

"Yeah, pretty much. I still haven't been on any big or exciting ones, really. But recently I've been feeling more…" Eve paused for a moment, seemingly thinking of how to describe it. "Restless," she finally decided. "There are so many things to do and see and places to go, and I'm missing out on all of them if I just sit around at home, y'know?" She looked up at him.

"Yeah," he said, looking at something in the distance. "I get that." It was quiet for a couple minutes, then he said, "That must be pretty nice…getting to go on adventures when you want to."

She laughed, raising her eyebrows. "I wish! I'm not supposed to. I'm supposed to be at home right now."

"Oh," Seth said. He hadn't realized that, but that made her situation all the more relatable. "Did you sneak out or something?" he asked.

"Kinda," Eve said, suddenly looking a bit uncomfortable. "My parents…my dad is on a politics trip, and my mom probably still hasn't even noticed I'm gone."

"Oh," Seth repeated lamely. He didn't know what to say to that. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah," Eve said, glancing away. "It kinda sucks sometimes." But when she looked back, she was smiling. "But at least it makes it easier to sneak out and go on adventures! I don't know what I'd do if I had to actually obey the rules and stay at home all the time."

Seth laughed. "And there's that!"

"So, how'd you get to be here? You're like the Underking's personal assistant, right? How'd that happen, and is it…" Eve stared upward, thinking. "What's it like?"

How should he answer that? He'd have to make something up, since that wasn't even true. "I mean… it's not really bad. I don't get treated bad or anything. I sometimes get to leave and go places, you know, kinda like adventures except maybe more like errands sometimes." Seth paused. Maybe he didn't have to make it up as much as he'd thought he would. "It gets kinda boring being down here sometimes, but I guess it's better than being by myself with nowhere to go or anything." He hoped that was a good enough answer and that she wouldn't realize he had skipped the first part of the question.

"Well, I'm glad you're doing okay," Eve said. "But don't think I didn't notice you avoiding half my question!" Well, darn. She poked his shoulder. "I'm not going to make you answer if you don't want to, though."

Seth blinked once—that was a surprising response. He'd been prepared for many responses, but not that. At least it was surprising in a good way! "Thanks," he said, grateful that she wasn't going to push it. "I don't really want to talk about it." Of course, it wasn't like it had been an upsetting experience that he didn't want to think about. He just didn't want to tell the truth (or lie further) about who he really was.

"That's okay," Eve said. "I was just wondering. But—"

"Hey," Seth interrupted, sitting up straight. Time to change the subject before she could accidentally find something out. "How did you get here? Was there a reason you decided to go on an adventure today specifically? And where'd you find the entrance? They change places sometimes." He knew the answers to these questions; he'd asked her already. But she didn't know he knew, and it would be a good way to get the focus off of him.

Eve seemed glad to answer. "There's a forest near my village. I'm Fair Folk, so I live on a preserve, so obviously most of the forests are dangerous. I went to the one by where I live on purpose because I knew it would be dangerous, and then…I guess it was kinda more like the entrance found me. It was just an archway standing in the middle of nowhere and very clearly bad news. So of course I went through it." She shrugged. "Sometimes you just gotta walk through mysterious and ominous portals, you know?"

Seth laughed again. "Just to see where it goes. Can't hurt, right?"

"Wouldn't that be nice?" Eve laughed with him but quickly put on a serious face. "I guess I was pretty lucky that this one didn't turn out as badly as it could've."

"For sure," Seth agreed. He tried to think of how to phrase his next sentence. Pretending to be someone different was hard! "I think…it could've been dangerous, probably more dangerous if you actually had bad intentions or tried to lie and say you didn't mean to come here or something. But I think the Underking appreciates a true answer even when it could get you in trouble." He cringed a little bit inside. Talk about not following your own advice!

"That's kinda scary to think about. That it could've gone worse. Good thing I told the truth and didn't have bad intentions in the first place!"

"Yeah, it is," Seth said. Now it was scary to think that he might've done something to hurt this girl in the wrong circumstances. She was so nice! She didn't deserve to be hurt in general, much less made undead. He wished he could remember being friends with her. "I'm glad you didn't get yourself in trouble."

"Me too." Eve looked at him cautiously. "You're sure you're not in trouble? I know you said you didn't want to talk about how you got here, and you don't have to; I just want to be sure you're okay."

Seth stared at her for a moment, shocked by the question. Was she serious? Legitimately asking about how he was doing? He remembered suddenly that she had called him a friend, someone who cares about another person without anything in it for them. "I…" he started, then stopped. Was he okay? He hadn't really thought about it. Living in the Under Realm was certainly not his dream life, but it was a good opportunity and kept him away from people who had known him—well, mostly. The constant whispering of Underkings past in his head was pretty obnoxious, and the sound never died down, but he was better at ignoring them now than he used to be. He had everything he really needed. "I think so. I mean, it gets kinda old down here after a while, but I'm doing okay." He smiled at her. "Thanks for asking."

Eve didn't look quite reassured, but she returned the smile. "That's good to know," she said. "I haven't seen you in so long, I was worried."

Another simple sentence that felt like some sort of bomb. Worried? About him? Maybe having people know him wasn't as bad as it sounded. "There's nothing to be worried about. I'm fine," he told her. "Are you?"

He didn't know why he asked. She hadn't had her memories stolen; she wasn't living in the Under Realm. He barely knew her. But it seemed to be the right thing to say. Eve looked like she really appreciated it. "I mean…yeah," she said. "It's not like I have it bad. I have a really good life. I don't really have anything to complain about." She sounded a bit like she was trying to convince herself, but he decided not to push it.

"That's good," he said, nodding. "At least you're not homeless."

Eve laughed. "Yeah. At least I'm not homeless." She jumped up suddenly. "Which reminds me! I've been here a long time. I…probably need to go back home." She seemed disappointed.

"Oh. Yeah," Seth said, trying not to frown. It made sense that she would have to go home, but he'd actually been having a good time talking to her. "I can show you the way out. Open a door back to wherever you came in."

"Really? That would be great!" Eve frowned a little. "Do you need to get permission or tell the Underking or something? Or am I just allowed to leave?"

"Well," Seth said, again feeling strange to pretend to be someone else. "The Underking can communicate telepathically with everyone who lives down here. I can just tell him."

"Awesome! Thanks!"

Seth stood up and waved for Eve to follow. He took her to the edge of the garden cave. "I can just open a portal right here," he said, stopping. He set a hand on the wall, and Eve watched as it seemed to almost shimmer for a moment, then fade to darker than the already dark color of the stone in the shape of a door. "Here it is," he said, gesturing dramatically at it. "Your exit."

Eve had watched with a smile while Seth opened the gateway, but she wasn't smiling anymore. "Thanks," she said anyway. "But…what happens after I leave? Are you going to stay down here forever? Will I have to have another near-death encounter to see you again?"

Seth looked at the door blankly. He hadn't thought of that. He didn't want to never see her again. "Um…" he looked around, trying to come up with something. It seemed his attempts paid off when he came up with a real idea. "I know! Do you have like a coin or button or something on you?"

Now it was Eve's turn to stare blankly. She quickly searched the pockets on her dress but came up empty. "I don't think…" she stopped herself in the middle of her sentence, holding one finger up. "Oh! I got something!" She rolled up one of her sleeves, revealing a small brown button sewed to the inside with no visible purpose. She set to work tugging at the strings that held it in place. "I have an extra button here in case I lose one of the ones I need." Momentarily, she had managed to remove the button and offered it to Seth.

"Nice, thank you." He folded a hand around the button. "I can make this so that we can talk to each other. As long as you hold it in your hand, you can send your thoughts to me and we can talk telepathically." When he unfolded his hand, the coin still looked the same as it had before, but Seth could feel the magic now embedded in it. He handed it back to Eve.

"Wow!" she said, marveling at the coin. She slipped it into her pocket. "So…I guess I should go now, then," she said, standing still.

"Yeah," Seth said, also standing still.

Neither one spoke for a moment. Eve stepped forward and hugged him. "It was good to see you again," she said. Seth stood there awkwardly for a moment, then carefully returned the hug. Eve pulled back abruptly, spinning and marching through the portal without another word.

Seth stayed in place a little while longer, mind whirling. It seemed that he had a (not so) new friend, and she had a telepathy device now, so there wasn't really an option to just get rid of her. And he didn't think he would if he could.

He turned and started making his way slowly back to the throne room. There was a lot to think about today. He'd made a friend. And now that she'd left, he wasn't sure if he felt more or less alone than ever.


beneath the shadows

of all that we think we want

is there a light we can't see?