Eren might have been a young boy of eight, but he knew many things other children his age did not. He was wild and bull-headed down to his very core, but he had enough of his father in him to be cleverer than most people would probably ever give him credit for.

There were things he knew that the other children did not, simple truths. He knew this world he lived in was beautiful and cruel, something out of a tragic comedy and not quite what it seemed. There were lapses in his consciousness, in the very fabric of his reality. Moments out of time he could not describe. Memories from a strange place under the bright blue sky. In Eren's dreams, there were no walls around him, and their absence was like both salvation and agony. Every time there was a resurgence, some of the careful veneer hiding the coarser parts of his soul peeled back a little more. Sometimes Eren was afraid of what would come of it someday. He knew simple truths. Truths that he had never put into words before.

He knew how to hide the bruises peppering his arms and legs from his parents. He knew that he could never afford to cry in front of strangers who could take advantage of his apparent weakness. He knew his father was like a brewing storm, silent and calm until he wasn't. He knew his mother, as gentle and kind as she looked, could be vicious and vindictive when provoked just so. He knew he should never tell anyone about his lapses in reality.

(Eren had always liked eavesdropping on his father and spying on him. It started out as a game and evolved into something else entirely when he found out that his father had secrets. Eren loved hearing his father talk about their family in hushed tones. There was always something new to be discovered, and he wondered whether his mother knew half of what father thought about them. He had felt so wicked and fierce on the day he had heard the famed sigh softly as he was quietly chatting with one of his eldest patients, and secretly confessing his concerns about Eren's violent tendencies. "Let it never be said that Eren is not his mother's son… I wonder, ...". The old woman he was talking to laughed and laughed, cutting him off. "We're all past wondering. What must be, will be. And to be true, it runs in their blood my dear, what did you expect? The Starlings have always been a wild bunch. You did not choose the easiest family to marry into." She had sounded so amused. Not for the first time Eren had wondered about his mother's family and then forgotten about it.)

Eren, whose proportion for violence had been documented since birth, had very few friends. Meeting someone new was always a trial, and there were very few people willing to put up with his often erratic behavior for long. Playmates would come and go, scared away by his intensity. Eren's childhood had been a little lonely until it wasn't.

Eren met Armin on a bright summer day and had he not directly collided with him, his nose buried in an old battered book, Eren would have entirely overlooked him. It had been a lazy morning, and the sun was high in the sky. The air in town was absolutely scorching, and the stone walls were radiating unbelievable heat, making the trek home from the marketplace nearly unbearable. Eren had been careful to take smaller alleys to remain in the shade, and he had been too focused on balancing his mother's groceries in his arms to get out of the smaller boy's way when it had become obvious he would not be the one stepping aside. His first instinct upon seeing his mother's peaches scattered on the floor had been to scream in frustration at the other boy and maybe punch him. For once, he had stilled his hand upon seeing the look of fear in the small blonde's eyes. His anger was gone as quickly as it had come, and Eren, for the first time in days, had felt something uncoil in his chest.

Armin had apologized, and Eren, still unsettled by the look Armin had given him, had demanded to know what was so interesting about this book that he would completely forget to pay attention to his surroundings. The beam on Armin's face at the question startled him. Eren felt a strange warmth spread in his guts. He had had to admit alongside him that it was the best kind of book indeed, dangerous and forbidden. Eren did not know anyone else so interested in the outside world. He then decided that he liked Armin.

Eren soon realized that Armin was cleverer than most children their age. However, he was also small and weak, making him a prime target for all kinds of bullies. Armin was too smart by half to attract the adult's attention with taboo knowledge, but children were perceptive like that, and they would have targeted him regardless of the circumstances. Eren, self-righteous and passionate as he was, had been more than willing to fight his battles. Eren loved the look of awe in Armin's eyes when he fought off his aggressors. Much later, he would realize that he had been drunk on it the whole time.

Protecting his only friend also taught him a thing or two about consequences as well. He learned how to lie to his mother when she asked what he had been up to all day. As the first young child of a busy young woman, he was not allowed to wander very far on his own, but it was also deceptively easy to escape her notice for hours on end. He very much loved exploring the dark corners of his neighborhood on the outskirts of Shiganshina, despite the anguish, it would surely cause his mother when she realized what he had been up to. They lived far from the slums, but there was always trouble to be found where no one was looking. Yet he could never quite bring himself to regret bringing her to tears when he had been able to run free, if only for a little while.

He was not a very obedient child, nor a very considerate one, but he was passionate, and he knew in his heart of hearts that there was little he would not do for his family. He always tried so hard to be good, and he always failed. He loved his mother with the fierce devotion that came with the certitude that she would never leave his side even though he was such a naughty child most of the time. His father was distant, and somewhat cold, and tainted with sadness and longing. But his mother's constant presence was like that of the sun, something warm with certainty and comfort. Sometimes he had nightmares about her death, always grotesquely gruesome and painful. Every night in secret he would pray to whatever would listen, demanding she lives another day. Eren did not feel an ounce of guilt for loving his mother more than he loved his father. He had never felt the need to pray for him and Eren suspected his father was not one to die senselessly anyway.

As far as Eren knew, his father was a genius unlike any other. Since he had settled in Shingashina years ago, the yearly bouts of infectious disease had not been so lethal to the poorest residents of the slums whom he treated for free. To be true, he never asked anyone for payment. Eren's mother had been worried about the odd kindness of her otherwise stoic husband, but she had soon realized that most people would find other ways to repay him. Sometimes their mere gratitude turned out to be more useful than money. She had never voiced her concern again after her brother was promoted to the rank of Captain upon the good word put in for him by the husband of a patient's aunt Grisha had saved. They had not known he was related to a high ranking officer of the Scouting Legion, and Carla had been dazed that such prestige could be found in the depth of Shiganshina of all places.

Nonetheless, she had been relieved that they would be able to live comfortably, and for the first time in her life, Carla had been able to let go of all her worries for the future. Everything had seemed bright and promising, and she had told her son many times that he should cherish these halcyon days with all his heart.

(Of course, that was before her brother and his squad died on the last great expedition beyond the walls. His wife had raged and raged, but Carla had known better. He had burned too brightly to be long for this world. Yet the loss had been so great... He was her twin, and half of her had died with him as well.)

As he was looking for his mother on the way home from a day spent with Armin by the canals, Eren thought that even though he might not have been the most obedient little boy, he hated disappointing his mother. He always tried to hide his violent tendencies for her with little success, and not for the first time he felt something approaching regret at having defended Armin moments ago.

He found her by the lavatories doing their laundry. The summer air was thick with the sickly sweet scent of overly ripe peaches hanging low from the tree. Eren briefly wondered whether his mother would not be too upset should he climb up the old gnarled peach tree to collect the prettiest fruits for her. He liked the idea, but ultimately decided against it. She was humming, and Eren struggled to remember which song it was before she suddenly turned to him.

"-Well, what kind of mischief were you up to my son ? I've heard Maggie's boys squealing all the way up here so don't you try to pull the wool over my eyes. I reckon you're about ten thousand years too young for that little sir." She put down her laundry basket and closed the distance separating her from her son. Carla was frowning, but there was a hint of laughter and relief in her eyes. She put her hands on her hips for good measure. Eren did not dignify her with an answer and turned up his nose. With all the subtlety of an eight years old, he buried his bleeding hand deeper in the folds of his shirt.

"-Aren't you going to answer, little sir ? Should I investigate the matter myself then? " She bent down to be on eye level with him, looking intently into his bright green eyes, so much like her own. Eren could feel her annoyance at him melt like ice under the sun. Still, Eren did not lower his gaze and stared brazenly into his mother's eyes. He would never admit it out loud, but he was very glad he looked so much like his mother. He loved that they shared the same features and that people could instantly tell they were related. It is not until much later, well into adulthood that he would come to recognize this feeling as a sense of belonging. Bile rose to his throat. The ache ... -

"-..." Eren hesitated, shuffling on his feet. He looked down instantly.

"- My my, what am I going to do with you, little love ?" She said so softly Eren thought for a moment he had imagined it "Give your mama some credit, I will never blame you for defending your friend, you know that" She pressed a feathery kiss on his forehead and drew him into her embrace. Eren closed his eyes, taking in her warmth. She smelled like fresh bread and stew, cinnamon and apples, sunshine and summer. For a moment everything was perfectly still and he wished the world would never start moving again. He pressed his cheek further into his mother's sleeve to prevent the tears from falling. She ran her hand in his hair in a soothing motion. Sometimes Eren did not understand but there was no resisting the anguish building in his chest, the sadness. He had never lost anything in his life, but he could feel it all too well, the emptiness of loss. The anger and sadness came to him at once, an older boy crying silently, teardrop falling to the ground, a dark-haired girl pleading and another screaming at him, looking both furious and terrified. Eren allowed himself to find comfort in his mother's grounding embrace. She was the only one capable of soothing his fears.

"- But you should be more careful dear heart. We are so easy to break..."

Eren was glad Carla did not ask why he never let go of her hand on the way home, holding onto it a little too tightly for comfort. "- You are so pretty, little heart, I could eat you whole" She said mischievously. "You'll be a beauty in a few short years, and all the girls will want to take you away !" She poked his forehead and quickly bent to press a kiss on the tip of his nose. Eren choked on his spit and flushed, unable to form a coherent answer

"- But, mom… wh" She bent down again to press another kiss on the crown of his head.

"-I was joking my heart." He deflated "Well, not entirely".

(Carla herself was a beauty. In their youth, her brother Theo had never dared stray far from her lest she be swarmed by her suitors. As a girl, she had quickly learned how much kinder men and women both could be if she were to bat her long dark eyelashes at them just so, demurely lower her too-bright witch-green eyes and coat her demands in dripping honey. She had loved the euphoria of capturing the attention of powerful men and keeping it.

Keith was a good man, bound to accomplish great things she once thought. She had often wondered if she should reciprocate his attention.

Theo had laughed at her when she ran the thought by him. She would have been the death of Keith, they both agreed. It had been tempting. Theo had been a Corporal for years with no hope of further advancement, despite his obvious skill. He knew just how much they lacked the right connections to reach any higher position in the strict hierarchy of their military. Keith had been from a well-respected family, and although he was always too brittle, too breakable, they all knew he would soon become lion-hearted Theo's Commander even though he had done nothing to deserve it.

But in the end, that was not meant to be. There had been the matter of Dr. Jeager's thrilling mystery and quiet presence. He was just as lovely as she, too charming to be true with his dark hair shining copper in the right light and his deep purple eyes. His discretely odd features had made him look almost foreign, and she had often wondered about his ancestry. He had such unnatural - almost inhuman - eyes.)

Sometimes, in the dead of night, when his parents thought he was asleep, they would converse freely. Eren would listen closely, his ear pressed against the door, willing himself to be as silent as a thief. His father had looked preoccupied that evening, and he was sure his mother would ask what had been on his mind as soon as Eren would be put to bed. He did not have the patience to wait until it was reasonable for his mother to assume that he was asleep, and left his room minutes after she had left. He knew the risks of eavesdropping, and he had been ready to suffer any punishment his father would surely deliver should he be caught in the act.

"... I'm sure it was no accident. It simply cannot be. That woman is too clever to let anything of the sort happen without a good, solid reason. And I highly suspect she will be the only one to benefit from the situation at the end of the day." His father spat out. He had never heard him sound quite so distressed before. He heard the rustle of fabric and the clutter of porcelain as his mother hurried back from the kitchen. She sounded alarmed.

"What did she say exactly ? What happened ? And how come she's here in the first place ? I thought she had… business in the city. I haven't seen her much since Theo died" His mother said cautiously, careful to steady her voice and not show any affection in her words. She would often tell her friends in hushed tones that her husband was flighty at best, much like Eren in that aspect. It would not do to set him off. Eren took a slight step back to further hide in the shadows. For a moment he wondered exactly what would happen this time should his father find him eavesdropping. A shiver went down his spine. Steeling himself, Eren pressed his ear to the door once again.

"- Well she does have a business in the city, except the city is every fucking where these days. The authorities are treading on rather thin ice right now. With the recent explosions, well, arg… their particular brand of business is.. hum…" He cringed "... booming." He sighed deeply. "There are reasons why you don't stay in her line of work for as long as she has. She is more dangerous than she looks. And so is her daughter for that matter. " He sighed "It's unnatural, and believe me, I mean it. Theo knew it." His father sounded more weary than angry now. Eren let go of the breath he had been holding.

"- What happened ? What about... the children ?" Carla repeated. She sounded a little more desperate than before. Eren had no idea what she was talking about but he felt something shift in the air, and for a moment Eren felt something simmering under his skin, like thunder in his blood and a blinding pain erupted on the side of his head. In a flash, he thought he saw a little girl with icy blue eyes crushing a bug under her foot, a bewildered-looking brown-haired boy, and a young man with his father's purple eyes fading in the distance. The pain ebbed as quickly as it came, and Eren was glad his parents did not realize his presence due to his brusque lapse in consciousness.

"- I don't know… I… I suppose I will visit them tomorrow. To make sure the children are alright. But it is the last thing I am going to do for them. If anything, you should be the one doing something about it. These children, they are your flesh and blood." Eren recognized the finality of his father's tone. There would be no other discussion on the matter in this household. His mother must have known it as well. She did not relent.

"-I will. I should have done something earlier to be true… I just hope it's not too late". His mother sounded so forlorn. He could picture her wringing her hands like a little girl.

"For your sake, so do I''. His mother did not reply, and Eren quietly retreated in the shadows of his bedroom. He had not known his mother still had living relatives, and he was both curious to learn more about them, and worried. He had known his uncle Theo, a bright and dashing young man, his mother's twin brother who had looked so much like her there could have easily passed for one another. But he had always come to visit them alone, and Eren had not known he had a family of his own. Eren did not know anything else about him, and he did not even know how he had died, only that his mother had cried. He dreaded to see how their relatives had caused his father such anguish. He was a genius, and a strong man, but Eren had recognized a silver of something foreign in his voice. It had been fear.

On the following day, Eren had been reminded that he did not go with his father to meet patients very often. Last winter, a few months before, he had wanted to accompany his father on one of his regular trips up north. It was a day-long affair but Eren had been too bored to think straight. Grisha had refused to let him go with him however since he was due to visit the Ackerman family whose little girl had been sick. Grisha had feared he would be too busy to look after Eren who was not to be trusted around complete strangers without his supervision. He had promised him he would take him to meet her someday, and Eren had been sorely disappointed to miss the occasion. So it was not too odd that he would beg his father to let him accompany him for the day in compensation. His father had been extremely reluctant at first. Fortunately, Eren was very much his mother's son, and his stubbornness played in his favor. Eren knew his father would cave in. It was only a matter of time. He merely needed to play his cards rights and not set him off too. His father was kind and placid until he flew into a rage neither he nor his mother knew very well how to handle.

"-I'll be so quiet you won't even know I'm here ! And I'll help you ! I'll be so bored all day if I stay here with mom and her friends… " Eren said as innocently as he could. It was no easy feat considering he had never been the most obedient of boys. He was too intense and too passionate, too wild to look even remotely tame, but somehow, Eren had come to realize that his father was kindest when he showed him just the right amount of cheek. It was a delicate balance to maintain, and he had received harsh punishments for speaking out of turn, but there were times the reward had been worth the risk. Grisha went down on his knees to look him in the eyes.

"-I have a long day ahead of me. I won't be able to care for you much, and if you get tired, I won't be able to take you home before we've visited the last patient. It'll be miserable for you, I'm sure." He said sternly but not unkindly. Eren frowned.

"- I can keep up ! I'm big and strong. I can help too." Grisha chuckled and flicked him on the nose.

"- The day you can carry me on your back like I do for you will be the day you are big and strong my boy. Until then you're so little and light I'm sure a gust of wind could blow you away over the wall. And that'll be a problem, wouldn't it ?" Eren pouted and blanched all at once, which caused his father to fully laugh.

"-You can laugh, but someday I'll go beyond the wall, and then I'll kill all the titans so we can live outside too !" He spluttered, flushed and embarrassed, a little winded.

"-I don't doubt you will, my son" He paused. There was something unreadable in his father's eyes. Eren felt uneasy and consciously averted his gaze. "But for now, let's go visit the Walkers'. If we leave quickly, we might be done with our tour before nightfall." Eren let out a squeal of excitement. "Don't make me regret this" He added warily. Eren could not care less. He knew his father would keep the promise he made his mother on the night before. He would meet their relatives.

The day had been long and tiresome. His father had not been joking when he had said Eren would not enjoy any of it. But he had held on. His father was growing increasingly tense, and Eren wondered whether he was regretting his decision and if he had hoped Eren would go home early. That had not been the case, and despite the growing tension between them, he was determined to seize the opportunity to meet the people his parents had hidden from him.

They were nearing the slums, and the smell of stagnant water and rot was pungent. His father stopped and turned to him. He was serious and somber-looking. Eren said nothing and waited for him to find the words to say.

"- The people we are going to see… They are a little special." He started." Do you remember Theo ? You mother's brother ?" His father asked evenly. Eren did not think it wise to lie so he hummed in affirmation.

"-He used to visit often." Eren had liked his visits. Theo always had great stories to tell, and he had all the patience in the world when it came to him. He had been the one to teach him how to climb trees, to his mother's utter dismay. She did not stay angry with Theo for long, however, and on his following visit, he had brought her a sapling. From the outside, he had said. His mother had called him a liar and he had smiled. Eren had wanted to believe him. It had not been so hard since the sapling quickly turned out to be a cherry tree and it was such a rarity this side of the walls, that there was no way he could have bought it that Eren could imagine.

"-He did. These people were his family. He has a son who is 4 years older than you, and a daughter your age. They are your cousins. His wife won't be home, but there will be his mother in law." He grabbed his chin a little too harshly. "Now listen to me. If you disobey, believe me it will be a long, long time before you are allowed outside again. I mean it." He paused to let his word sink in. "You may speak to your cousins, that I cannot prevent. They are your flesh and blood, you have a right to know them." His father pressed his chin a little harder to make his point "but you must not speak to their grandmother. And more importantly, you must never be in her presence without me. Never. Am I clear ? Do you understand ?" Eren did not dare try to evade his bruising grip. He lowered his eyes.

"-...Yes, father" He paused, hesitant. His father relaxed minimally and let go of his chin "Why though ?" His father's attention snapped back to him.

"-You may not realize it yet, but Theo was a dangerous man, and he married into a dangerous family. You cousins are just children now, but they will grow up to be dangerous as well. Do me a favor, and believe me when I say you do not want to be more involved with any of them than we already are. I will explain, someday. But now, you must listen and obey." Eren nodded and took his father's hand in his as an unconvincing show of goodwill. They walked for minutes in silence, and then they finally reached a wooden door. The sun was about to set and the unfamiliar street was bathed in golden light. Grisha knocked twice on the door. Nothing happened.

"-Open the damn door Cera, I know you're here." He said loudly. Eren tried not to flinch when his father's hand squeezed his too hard. Then they finally heard movement behind the door. A teenage boy opened, and Eren realized that he must have been his cousin.

"-Ah, hello Uncle. We don't open our door to unannounced visitors these days. Don't take it too personally" He said brightly, his large smile not quite reaching his eyes. "Get inside, the streets are not safe yet". His father entered, tugging him along. Their house was larger than it appeared to be from the outside, and it was much nicer than he expected. They were in the poorest neighborhood of Shiganshina, close to the slums and the sewers and yet the inside of their home smelled nice and clean. The weirdness of it puzzled him deeply.

"-Well they won't be safe for a long time. Although the Military Police is doing remarkably well dealing with the… " - He paused, looking dubious - "refugees". The older boy laughed pleasantly.

"- That's to be expected from elite soldiers. Did Grandma tell you ? I'm going to enlist soon. I hope to enter the MP when I am done with training" He smiled at Eren.

"-Only the best cadets get the opportunity to enter the Military Police, Arc." Grisha pointed out, unwilling to let go of Eren's hand. "Where is Cera ?" He added.

"-She's not home yet, Leni and I are on our own. But she'll be there soon." He paused. " Let's sit, I'll make you some tea and get you something to eat." His father nodded and minutely relaxed. Eren seized the opportunity to lunge at the older boy.

"-Why would you want to join the MP ? The Scouts are like, so much better !" He blurted out without thinking, flushed with anger and shame at his outburst. It was so hard to be good. He did not dare cross his father's gaze.

"-Well I'd rather live a long life and sleep tight at night. The Scouts only get to die and live in misery. My dad was a Scout, you know ? He wasn't home often, and when he was he wasn't always there." He emphasized. "He had lots of nightmares too, I've never heard anyone else scream so loud. I don't want to be like that. " He said honestly. Eren did not know what to say but there was something so infuriating to his cousin's resolve that he had to relent. His father's hand on his shoulder effectively shut him up.

"-Do not delude yourself into thinking a life into the Military Police of the Garnison for that matter will be any easier. The Titans are not the only monsters here". Arc rolled his eyes, and smiled once again, this time with an edge.

"-Hey, I know what you're thinking pops. Keep on worrying like that and you'll get an aneurysm" He ruffled Eren's hair fondly. Eyes alight with mischief, he addressed him directly, ignoring Grisha's low growl. "Oh, before we settle down for tea, there's someone you should see. Would you like to meet Leni ? " Eren nodded excitedly. The older boy gently grabbed his hand, and led him up the stairs.

"Oh, you might want to come too, uncle." Arc added, throwing a hasty glance at Grisha who was in the process of meticulously peeling away the numerous layers of coats he insisted on wearing even on harsh summer days. "You've got your doctor stuff right ?" He smiled wickedly. "Grandma went a bit hard on her. And I'd rather she's better before mom comes home." Eren saw his father blanch slightly. Somewhere in another room upstairs, a door slammed.

"- Well, aren't you bold." Someone remarked flatly. An old woman was standing by the door in the entrance. None of them had remarked on her presence before. Arc gave her a cheeky grin.

"-Hi Grandma, did you have a nice day ?" The old woman sent him a scathing look, which Arc ignored with practiced ease. He quickly ushered Eren upstairs, away from the adults' discussion.

"Cera. I can't say it is a pleasure to see you in such circumstances…" His father had begun, and soon his voice was muffled in the distance.

The first floor was bathed in darkness, all curtains closed. There were three rooms side by side and a narrow hallway. A window was open, letting in whiffs of stale air. The door on his left was about to slam again when Arc stopped it. The silence was thick and constricting. Before he could ask, Arc put his finger on his mouth to hush him. "She's asleep, remember ?" He whispered. Eren snorted noisily, and Arc gave him a stern look. He pushed open the door of the furthest room from the stairs and put his hands on Eren's shoulders. A little girl was asleep on her belly in a small wooden bed. Dark blue covers had been tucked under her chin, and there was a dark fading bruise on the side of her head. Upon closer inspection, Eren realized that she looked impossibly like his mother and that she was probably the prettiest little girl he had ever seen.

"This is my little sister, Lena." Arc begun, caressing her cheek with the pad of his thumb. "She's very important, but she doesn't know it yet. Do you want to know why ?" Eren nodded once, reaching out with his hand to grab a lock of dark hair, the exact same shade as his. He wondered whether it would shine ruby red in the right light, like his and his mother's. She whined in her deep slumber but he did not let go. Arc smiled once more. He bent down until Eren could feel his breath on his ear.

"She has a secret." He said so softly Eren almost did not hear.

Downstairs, someone screamed. Arc chuckled and squeezed Eren's shoulder. He regretfully let go of the little girl's silky smooth hair and turned to the calmly smiling boy.

"Let's go back to make sure your dad isn't making mincemeat out of my Grandma. I'm rather averse to her death."

Eren did not think his father would go as far as to kill anyone, but he did not oppose following Arc downstairs. There was still a lot to learn from his relatives, and the little girl did not look like she would wake anytime soon.