It's past midnight when they get home. In this instance, home is Jay's apartment for the night. Even while they aren't sure about whatever this new relationship they have started, very rarely have they spend the night apart. Neither of them would admit that they sleep better with the other beside them, but it's true. But even while most of their nights were spent at Hailey's place, she knew Jay needed to be in his own space for the night.
If he acted surprised when he asked whose place they were going to, and her simple answer was his, he didn't show it.
They made it up the stairs slowly, the cold rain and the events of this entire case made their bodies ache. Hailey could feel the pain from the lack of food in her stomach, but she had been too tired to ask Jay to stop someplace, having her mind made up to try and fix something in his kitchen.
By the time they make it through the door, she can see how Jay shuts down. Every step of this entire case caused his body to be on autopilot, and while she saw the signs every so often, she never would have guessed how much this made him think about the relationship he had with his dad.
Jay admitted it a few nights ago, both of them seconds away from falling asleep when he spoke. He told her how the way Latrell talked about his son, the way he was so protective of him, reminded Jay of his own father. Sure, there may have been times over the years where they didn't get along, simple conversations ending in screaming matches, but Hailey could see how in the time since his dad's passing, Jay had developed a newer appreciation for his father, slowly beginning to understand why he did what the things he did.
But now, as the adrenaline was wearing off, she could visibly see the signs of exhaustion and pain on Jay's features. He's at least aware enough to take his jacket and boots off, his hand blindly reaching towards her as she takes her own jacket and boots, and she hands over everything, wanting him to have the sense of order he craved, hoping that the simple act of being able to put their coats and boots away will help him.
Hailey's mind is still set on food, and she heads into the kitchen to find what's there. Jay was fairly good, for a guy, at keeping his kitchen stocked. She never would have guessed when they first met how much Jay liked to cook, something he once told her he took after his mom. Since then, she knew there was always something to be found in his kitchen to eat.
Despite the need for food, she first settles on making tea, knowing the cold rain won't do them any favors later on, especially in the midst of the pandemic. The last thing either of them needed was to be sick. But before she could even start to heat up the water, she feels Jay behind her, his hand wrapping around her wrist to keep her from venturing further into the kitchen.
She smiled softly as she lets him pull her back towards him, his arms gently wrapping around her waist as her back collides with his chest. Everything about his movements are so soft, almost like he wants to come down from the adrenaline high and the action.
His head soon finds a place on her shoulder, his lips pressed against her sweater. She lets her hands rest on top of his, intertwining their fingers from where his are splayed across her stomach. It doesn't last long as his hands move, holding her tighter and her hands are now on his forearms where they're crossed against her, and she absentmindedly scratches his arms through his shirt.
Hailey's content to just listen to him breathing, his warm breath on her neck from where he turned towards her, his face buried behind her hair. She can feel his heartbeat against her back, and the relief of being able to tell so obviously how his heartrate is slowing makes her relax, knowing he's relaxing.
She isn't sure how long they stand there in the middle of his living room, wrapped up in one another. But as the chill settles in, she reluctantly pulls away, keeping his hands in hers as she pulls them to his shower.
It's not a time for anything like that, but this is the one thing she wants before they go to bed, a hot shower to help wash away the day. Jay is still zoned out, not moving from where he stops when they make it into his bathroom. Hailey can tell she's going to have to walk him through this, which is more than alright with her. He has taken care of her so many times, and for once she wants to do the same for him, preferably without him having any injuries.
Her first thought is to turn the shower on, letting it heat up as high as it can go. The bathroom is quick to steam up, the feel of it all melting away every care she has in her mind. For once, it's just she and Jay, and there are no criminals or cases hanging over their heads.
"Come here," she whispers, breaking the silence they have created in this place. He steps closer to her, his eyes on hers, yet she can see the blankness in them. He's not really here, his mind is lost in some memory of him and his dad if she had to guess.
All she can do is let him be, reaching for the hem of his sweater and pulling it up and over his head. His body reacts to her movements, arms reaching up before falling back to his sides. Her fingers work to undo his belt, not bothering to move it from the belt loops from his jeans as she moves to unbutton and unzip his jeans. She's gentle as she pushes his jeans, followed by his briefs, down to the floor, and once again, he looks down to step out of them and into the shower she's now holding open.
Despite all her actions being sexual in nature, it feels so normal, so natural. This is a level of intimacy she has never experienced with a man before, and it both breaks her heart and fills her up with so much love.
She takes her own time shedding her clothes when it hits her. She is so in love with this man, that it brings tears to her eyes. She hates to think about all he has gone through, but she is so damn proud to be able to stand beside him, watching him be the man she knows him to be and watching him embrace his natural role as a leader, especially throughout this entire case. Had it not been for him, they would have never found out who killed Sean, even if the ending was one they didn't want. She was proud of Jay and his decision, knowing how easy it would be to just let it all go.
As she steps into the shower behind him, it's her turn to wrap him in her arms. Her hands find his abdomen, her body pressed against his back while her forehead rests between his shoulder blades. It's moments like this when she realizes just how tiny she is compared to him, making note of how her hands barely touch when she wraps her arms around his waist, and how the top of her head barely reaches the upper part of his back.
Her hands seem to have a mind of their own, her left one finding the scar on his side, from where a bullet ripped through him in that tunnel. She had been scared that day, finding him lying in the street, barely moving. The events of that case are forever burned in her mind, but not because of the things Jay said, but rather the silent things he did. She watched him hurt, trying to push the pain down and distract himself with the case. But she couldn't blame him, because she would have done the same thing had she been in his position.
Not wanting to think about it anymore, her hands travel upwards, resting on his chest. She smiles, even when he can't see when she feels his hands grasp hers. These tiny little things remind her he is still in there, he's not going off the rails on this one. Her lips press kisses into his warm skin, once, twice, so many times she's sure she has lost count.
By the time the water gets colder, they haven't moved from their spot. Not wanting to stay in the cold water, she shuts it off, stepping out of the shower to reach for a towel, quickly drying herself off. She doesn't even bother getting another one, instead throwing her used towel towards Jay. His reflexes catch it, and she leaves him be to dry himself off as she walks into his bedroom.
The chill hits her naked body instantly and she grabs for the first thing she sees, which happens to be the grey shirt from a few days ago on the top of his laundry hamper. Despite having been there for a few days, the shirt is soft and warm against her skin, almost like he just took it off for her to wear. She opens the drawer where she knows he keeps underwear, and the sight of her own tucked in there as well should scare her, but she can't help the feeling in her chest as she reaches for her own. It's weird, yes, but they had to make it work, and the thought of it all warms her from the inside out.
Hailey's quick to grab a pair of sweatpants for Jay from the drawer just below, heading back to the bathroom to find him staring at himself in the mirror. This time, she lets him be, handing him the sweats and kissing his back once again, knowing that's where he held tension the most, before venturing back out into the main area of his apartment.
She makes sure the door is locked, and the lights are all off, looking around for anything out of place. Her eyes find their phones, guns and badges resting on the table by the door, and she wonders when that happened, but as soon as the thought enters her mind, it's forgotten. Scooping up the items, she walks back into his bedroom, only to find Jay sitting in bed now.
It doesn't take long for her to crawl in beside him. Their guns are left on top of the dresser across from the bed, their badges laying beside them. Their phones are in her hand, setting them on the bedside table beside what has become her side, plugging them both in, not that it would matter.
She doesn't tell him Voight gave them the morning off, just turns their alarms and ringers off. He will either be up at the crack of dawn, but she hopes that his body will allow him the chance to sleep in, just for this once. But as she watches him settle into bed, pulling her down with him, she knows that for once, he will actually sleep.
As she tucks herself into his side, his body moves into hers, his head laying on her chest. Her hand finds the back of his neck, fingers scratching lightly at his scalp, just like she had learned his mom did for him when he was younger. She had subconsciously done it one night before bed, and he mumbled out a story about how when he was little and couldn't sleep, his mom would lay down beside him, doing just what Hailey was doing now, and he never slept better than when she did that.
The last thing she remembered before falling asleep is him pulling her even tighter against him, his head moving so his nose pressed against her collarbone. She could hear him mumbling and she wasn't sure if he knew the words coming out of his mouth, but she just held him tighter, finally letting the tears for him fall from her eyes.
Hello friends! I feel like I've been saying this a lot lately, but it's been a hot second since I've been here. But I'm beyond happy to have found a groove again with writing, and I can absolutely promise new (and old) things coming soon. Hope you enjoyed this little something to follow 8x06, and let me know what you think and what you want to see next!
