It felt like a tomb. She opened her eyes for a moment as the only emotion she could feel was fear. Undoubted, unbridled fear. It was the fear that death was imminent. She had been witness to what the Collectors were doing. For what purpose, she had no idea. But at the moment, she just wanted out of wherever she was. She… just couldn't remember how she had arrived here. The memories were fuzzy. Distant. And more than likely so horrific that she'd rather not try. She closed her eyes, shaking her head slightly, trying not to think.
Then she heard shouting and banging. She opened her eyes again and saw the Commander. She had never seen a more determined look on his face as he hammered the butt of the rifle into the side of the pod she was currently stuck in. Giving up on his rifle, he threw it down and started to pull at the lid with his gloved hands. She could see the strain in his features. The determination. But she could also see his eyes. The fear was clear in his own.
Then, in an instant, there was fresh air and she could feel herself falling forward. Two strong arms grabbed her under her armpits and she found herself wrapped in an embrace.
"Doctor Chakwas? Are you okay?" he asked. She could hear the concern in his voice. Yet he was trying to stay professional, even now. She tried to move her legs but they wouldn't respond to what she wanted them to do. She tried to speak but nothing came out. He simply held onto her, lowering himself to his knees, keeping his arms wrapped around her as she started to recover. She could feel his hot breath in her ear. His deep breaths. He was clearly full to bursting with adrenaline. "Are you okay, Karin?" he whispered into her ear. She simply wrapped her arms around the Commander and closed her eyes, nodding silently into his shoulder, blinking back the tears she wanted to release. The whole experience had been horrifying. But she only needed a few seconds to regain her strength and composure. She wouldn't fall apart. She was strong. And she'd be strong for him.
She figured he held her for only a few seconds, but it felt like hours. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes, moving back slightly to look at his face. She saw the slight grin spread across his face, his eyes light up as they almost bore into their own. "You came for us, Shepard?" she asked, almost disbelieving that he was here.
"You're my crew. All of you. And no-one gets left behind." He reached up to stroke her cheek. "No-one." He got to his feet, offering his right hand. She grabbed it and hauled herself to her own feet, having to stop herself from falling forward again, feeling slightly woozy having finally escaped what would have been her coffin. She felt the presence of someone nearby, turning her head to see Kelly Chambers beside her. She looked… horrified by what they had just experienced.
"Thank god you got here in time, Shepard. A few more seconds and…" She shook her head of the thought. "I don't even want to think about it."
"I hesitate to ask, but do you know what the Collectors were doing?"
Chakwas let go of Shepard and took a step back, before gesturing at the pods and then the tubes that ran up and out of the pods and further into the bowels of the ship. "The colonists were, for want of a better word, processed. Swarms of little robots would melt their bodies into grey liquid and would be pumped through those tubes."
"Do you know what for?"
Chakwas shook her head. "No, I don't know. I'm just glad you got here when you did, before it happened to us as well."
Shepard and his team discussed what their next options would be. Chakwas kept an ear to the discussion but it had little to do with herself or her crew. Though she was increasingly concerned that they would be left undefended if they remained where they were. What they needed was to get back to the Normandy. Most of the crew, including herself, were going to need medical attention. Physically, they all appeared fine. Psychologically, she knew the scars were going to remain for some time.
"Commander, what are you going to do with the rest of us? We're in no condition to fight."
"You're going back to the Normandy, Doc." He put a hand to his ear. "Joker, is a pick-up possible near out location?"
"It's possible, Commander, as we have enough systems back online but we'd need to land back from your position."
"We can't abandon the mission now, Shepard. We've come too far to turn back now," Miranda stated.
"We're not doing that, Miranda, but these people are going to need an escort. Mordin, you're up. Escort the doctor and the rest of the crew back to the Normandy. You can also assist Doctor Chakwas in providing medical attention. I think the doctor herself may need some," he stated, casting a quick, concerned glance in her direction.
Mordin keyed his omni-tool. "Joker. Send me the location of the landing zone. Will meet you there."
Shepard looked around his assembled team and the rest of the crew before nodding to himself. "Okay, we've all got our assignments. Secondary fire team, see you on the other side. Normandy crew, we'll be back before you've even missed us."
The secondary fire team walked away, leaving Shepard, Garrus, Thane and Samara as the lead team. Mordin and the rest of the crew were assembling to make their way back to the ship. Shepard took a moment to speak to the salarian.
"Mordin. Make sure they all get back alive," he stated. It would have been considered an order at any other time.
"Of course, Shepard. Will ensure everyone's safety. Aware of importance to you," he replied, his eyes clearly falling on the doctor nearby.
Shepard raised an eyebrow but didn't mention it. "Thanks. I'll see you back on the Normandy." He turned to the rest of the crew. "Okay, guys. Mordin will get you back to the ship in one piece. Just stay together and you'll be absolutely fine."
The crew didn't say too much. She could read all their faces. This was going to take more than just some inspiring words from the Commander this time. Chakwas could think of just one word. Therapy. The group started to move off, not before she felt the presence of him closing in on and then walking alongside her. He didn't say anything, only grabbing her left hand with his right and simply giving it a squeeze. She looked up into his face. He didn't grin. But she could read his eyes. She knew what he was thinking. She just nodded slightly in return before he let go of her hand and turned back towards his team. She tried her best not to turn around and look. She really did try. But she had to look just one last time as he disappeared through the doors on the other side of the room. He turned as well, their eyes meeting one last time. He grinned ever so slightly and nodded before the doors then closed and he disappeared from view.
The walk back to the Normandy took longer than she expected. They must have been deeper in the Collector base than they realised. The bodies of Collectors littered the way, evidence that the Commander and his team had struggled all the way towards their rescue. The crew was mostly silent. She could hear Ken and Gabby nattering away in front of her, but even he was quieter than normal, though still trying to make a joke of everything. Kelly walked as if in a daze, muttering to herself about what she had seen. Chakwas simply folded her arms over her chest and rubbed her upper arms. She wasn't cold, she was merely trying to comfort herself. She felt the presence of Mordin fall in alongside her as she walked.
"Doctor Chakwas. May I ask a question?"
She nodded. She figured what it may be about. "What would you like to know, Mordin?"
"Aware of Commander's feelings for you. Aware of your feelings for him. Affection obvious. Why do you hesitate?"
Chakwas was silent. She really couldn't think of a valid reason why. Not now. Not after he'd clearly dropped everything and apparently rushed to rescue them. Rescue her. "How quickly did he come for us?"
"He felt responsible for your abduction. He came straight away. He spoke only of your rescue. So that begs the question. Why?"
Chakwas shook her head. "I can't think of a single reason why anymore…" she said quietly.
"Most of the crew aware of feelings. You obviously care for each other. Love each other." Chakwas looked at Mordin in surprise. "Salarians don't feel same emotions as humans. But obvious the Commander has deep affection. And obvious he would like relationship. Have spoken to him about it."
"You have?" she asked, even more surprised.
"Yes. Was going to suggest ways you could enjoy time with each other. Was embarrassed when informed your relationship was not like I thought." Chakwas couldn't help but chuckle. "Can give you suggestions if you wish."
"That…" She felt her cheeks burn at the suggestion. "That won't be necessary, Mordin. But thank you."
"You should take the doctor up on his offer, er, doctor. Enjoy yourself!" Ken yelled out from in front, earning a dig in the ribs from Gabby alongside him.
"Never mind him, doctor. You do whatever you think is best. While I wouldn't be as blunt as Ken here, he's also right. What do you have to lose?" Gabby added, "If the Commander really did come straight away, and it was obvious his thoughts were only for you, I think it's obvious what he thinks and feels."
Chakwas was silent as they continued their journey towards the Normandy. She thought long about what she truly wanted and desired. So many of the reasons she had used to not pursue anything more meaningful than friendship with the Commander now seemed… trivial compared to what they had just experienced. It also made her realise how fragile her life really was. And did she really want to die with regret. She'd already experienced regret once, and didn't want to experience that again. The Commander would deal with the Collectors. The Reaper threat was still on the horizon. And she had someone near who cared for her deeply. And, when she was honest, she cared for him deeply in return. Far more than she should. And she had for a very long time. Was she stupid for continuing to push him away when she felt the same as he did?
She tried weighing up the positive and negatives in her mind. Many of the negatives had disappeared. He was no longer a member of the Alliance. While he was working with Cerberus, he was clearly not part of their organisation. She expected him to cut ties as soon as the mission was over. So that meant he was just a Spectre. So fraternisation was no longer a problem. She knew age wasn't a factor. He simply didn't care. She still wondered why he cared for her as much, but there was no doubting her own physical attraction to him at least. His strength and power. But then his kindness. His thoughtfulness. His undoubted charm. His blue eyes. His smile. She didn't realise she was smiling at her thoughts as she walked along until Mordin cleared his throat next to her.
"I take you are having good thoughts, Doctor."
"Thinking, Mordin. Just thinking."
The salarian made a sound but left her alone as the Normandy finally came into view. The airlock opened, Chakwas standing to the side as she gestured all the crew on board, telling them to head down to the mess where she would start treating them. She was the last to board the ship before the airlock door closed, taking one last look at the Collector base.
"Godspeed, Commander. Please come back to me alive. I can't lose you again."
