Chapter 5 – Loss of Hope
Bubblegum's POV, (29/01)
"God…why are you letting this happen?" I said.
Morning had risen and everything was a mess.
At this moment, Mayor Wills ordered everyone to stay inside the bunker as more robots were reported to attack the town again. Apparently, they came from the Eggman Empire, according to their plans for world dominance. Luckily, the bunker is bomb-proof and made from quadruple steel, so we were safe. The bunker was really large and underground, providing enough bedrooms, bathrooms and food supplies for everyone. I was in one of the bedrooms, sitting on my bed…just staring at the wall.
At this, Emerald came in.
"Hey there!" she said. "Guess what? I was able to grab a few meat pies from Joshua…though I didn't let him know. I took some of his videos, so we can watch them on the TV. What do you want; sci-fi? Comedy? Action? Please no horror. What do you think we are going to do all day?"
I wasn't listening. I was just staring at the wall thinking about my friends' death all over again.
Addison…Jade…Taffy…Yumi…
Everything felt so…depressing without them.
"I…I can't believe it…" I finally said. "What I said was all true and now…they're gone."
"Huh?" said Emerald. "What are you talking about?"
"Mate…our friends! Jade, Yumi, Taffy and Addison. They are all gone!"
A pained expression came over Emerald's face. She forced to make an empty smile. "Oh. Don't worry too much. It's not your fault."
"It IS," I said, raising my hands. "I called them worthless and said that I wished that they don't exist and look what that meant! My best friends in the world…they are gone all because of me. Me and my attitude."
"That doesn't mean it's entirely your fault. Yeah, sure what you said was HURTFUL, but still…even if you didn't say it, you still have the same outcome. And it was that masked monster who did it."
I sighed. "You know…you know what my father always say…'make the world a better place'."
"Uh-huh. You always like to use that phrase."
"I…I feel like I'm supposed to do that job, because I'm his daughter. Being a police cop means having a lot of power and I want to use it for good, but…nobody can escape from the hands of evil. I can't save everyone. I couldn't even save my friends. Now we're dragged into some kind of war. I was once a police cop, but now…I'm just a simple pathetic town-girl. The police chief is dead and…the whole police force is out of bounds now. I want to help stop Eggman, but…I don't know how. If I'm not a police cop, Emerald…what am I?"
Emerald smiled. "Well, you are one of my BFFs."
That didn't help.
I stood up. "That…I'm not a good friend…"
Emerald was shocked. "What?"
"No, I just-"
I tried to find the right words to say, but this only made me frustrated. I tried to say something, but stuttered. I placed my hand onto my head again; showing signs of frustration before shaking my head.
"I'm sorry…" I sputtered. "I-I-I know I'm acting weird."
I then looked down, feeling black. "Maybe that monster is right. I'm…I'm such a failure."
I started to make my way out the door and wiped a tear from my eye. "I think I need some time alone."
"Bubblegum…" said Emerald all alone in the room. She stood up and followed me.
I stopped by a busy hallway, so that Emerald could catch up with her.
"Bubblegum," she said. "I know that things might look bleak, but look on the bright side."
"What bright side?" I snapped.
"We are still alive. Fuchsia is still here with us. Maybe someday this will be all over and things will be awesome again!"
I sighed. "Emerald. Again, things are NOT awesome. There will be times when you have to go through a lot of bad things. I already went through that."
"I know. But you're acting so insecure. Maybe if you stop doubting yourself the whole time and try to solve the problem, everything will change."
I sighed. "Still. It really hurts and suck to be here in this spot. I just wish…"
I trailed off when something caught my eyes.
"Huh?" I said, looking up. "Who's that?"
I saw a turquoise wolf walking through the hallway slowly. He was wearing blue headphones and sad golden eyes.
"That's the same wolf we saw during the attack!" said Emerald.
For some reason, I noticed that the wolf's gold eyes seemed to be the exact eye color of someone I knew before. Could it be?
Maybe so.
Maybe not.
I swallowed hard. That might be impossible. His fur is turquoise.
For some reason, his eyes flashed…yellow.
The wolf – looking around warily and nervously – made his way out of the hallway, holding onto his left arm.
"Is he OK?" I said in concern.
"I'm not sure," said Emerald before getting excited. "Let's go talk to him!"
She passed me and ran to the wolf.
"Wait!" I said. "Halt! Don't leave me behind."
Clay's POV
I was walking through the hallways numbly. I still felt the guilt, fear and horror over what happened the day before. There was a lot that happened.
Belt was captured.
Robots tried to attack me.
I witnessed a disturbing attack at this town.
I was mocked by Infinite.
Now I thought about it…
"Is Belt captured by the Eggman Empire?" I thought.
I was so lost in my thoughts that somebody appeared in front of me.
"How ya doing?" said a rabbit from out of nowhere with her left hand on her head and her right hand on her hip.
This caught me by surprise. I yelped and took a few steps back. To my surprise, I recognized her as the ice blue rabbit I saw during my first encounter with Infinite.
"Hello there!" she said warmly. "Nice to meet you!"
"Um…" I said nervously. "Hi…"
A pink female cat appeared from behind the rabbit.
"Uh…hi there, mate," she said solemnly.
"I'm Emerald," said the ice blue rabbit, raising her hand so I could shake it. "Behind me is Bubblegum. What's yours?"
"I…uh…" I said, trailing off.
Not again.
"C'mon…" I thought. "Just say something!"
"S…sorry…" I said awkwardly.
I turned to leave.
"Wah?" said Emerald. "Hold on. Are you OK?"
I was dead on the inside.
"I'm alright," I just said before walking off.
"I'm not sure if he's good," said Bubblegum who must be the pink cat.
I was a few metres away from them when I felt something tugging my belt.
"You shouldn't ignored me!" said Emerald, PULLING DOWN MY PANTS.
"NOOOOOOO!" screamed Bubblegum.
I stopped.
Looking down, I saw my pants touching the ground uncovering my sky blue underpants.
I looked at Emerald who was laughing.
"That's a bit of a joke here," she said.
I was ticked off. That really annoyed me. My teeth gritted and I let out an animalistic growl. Emerald looked really oblivious and Bubblegum was shocked. I pulled my pants up and stomped away from them.
As I made way past the corner, I heard Bubblegum saying this;
"How MANY times do I have to TELL you not to STRIP down people?!"
I leaned against the corner and sighed.
"That was close…" I thought.
I looked down. Why couldn't I just talk normally to them? Why couldn't I make a proper word? What was wrong with me?
Am I really THAT shy?!
Shaking my head, I continued to walk. However, I bumped into someone.
CLASH!
That person was holding a tray of food and it dropped onto the floor making a mess. The person turned around to face me to reveal a bird with turquoise feathers which were brighter than my fur.
"S-sorry!" I said. "I didn't-"
For some sick reason, the bird pushed me to the ground. I yelped in pain as I hit the floor. I looked up to see the bird; anger and hatred in his hard hazel brown eyes. He gave me a glare before walking off.
I could only watch and stare.
"What's his problem?" I thought.
The past 6 months were hell for me.
The war continued on and despite many armies rising to defeat the Eggman Empire, they weren't successful. More attacks and invasion happened around the world and there was little chance that they would stop.
Sonic is gone.
The world was in peril.
I noticed that something was wrong with me. I…changed dramatically.
I started to hide away from people to avoid contact. I didn't want to make anyone upset by saying the wrong things. I barely said a word or started a conversation. So far, no one had talked to me. I hid away at every moment. I didn't want to be seen. Not in the way I was in.
I felt that I lost my own way. My purpose. My life became worthless. I just wanted to forget how I failed my brother…how I failed to save the people who were killed in front of my eyes…how stupid I was…I prayed to God that everything would just be a nightmare and finally I would be comfortable for once…but sadly, that didn't happened. This was REALITY. I started to have constant nightmares showing me a lot of deaths, pain and how useless I was. I even had nightmares of Belt being killed in the most horrific, gruesome and cruel way.
My personality changed ever since. I basically became a mute and I didn't feel any positivism in me. Only replaced by anger, sadness, fear and stress. I felt so weak, scared and depressed to stand up on my own. I placed the whole thing on me. I hadn't feel the darkness for a while, but I felt it in my own heart. I was stuck in a gigantic pool with no safety rings to help me as I drowned in my thoughts.
I tried to smile at anything since. I tried to enjoy seeing the people talking together, the celebrations and people helping each other. But there was nothing, but emptiness. I never smiled ever since. No happiness in my mind.
Nothing.
I felt so empty. The guilt swallowed me up and I couldn't find a way out. I barely recognized myself. I was once a happy and calm wolf, but at that moment…I became moody and grouchy.
This wasn't me.
There was one thing in my mind that I had during the past 6 months.
"I want to die. I shouldn't exist."
I know that was a stupid thought, but I just thought of ways of how I should just end my life. However, the only thing stopping me from doing that was knowing the fact that I was safe. For the past months, I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't make any mistakes. If I didn't do anything bad, then what was the point of wanting to die? From there, I still lived, but the stupid thoughts of wanting to die plagued my mind.
I just wished everything was back the way they had been before.
When I was with Belt…
Bubblegum's POV
The past 6 months were hell for me.
As the war continued on, I faced a lot of problems.
First, the guilt. Ever since the attack, I started to blame myself for my friends' death. This hit me hard like how I lost my parents. My whole family is gone. Most of my friends are gone. It was because of me and I didn't do anything to prevent their deaths. I was about to finally give up when I stumbled across other problems.
Cassie was grieving and getting nightmares about her family dying, so I had to comfort her. She was nearly in pieces which was hard for me to keep up. Tom hadn't interact with anyone ever since and even ignored my concerns for his mental health.
For Mecha, it was a thousand levels worse. I was not just another kid Mecha like to pick on. When the war started, I was a victim of his RAGE. The bird's cocky and teasing personality was gone. Whenever I bumped into him or if he saw me, he would throw me to the ground or even beat me up until I saw stars. I realized that Mecha was angry at himself for letting Finn die and he put his rage onto others. This was making things tough.
However, at least Emerald was there to help. Her kind, caring and carefree character still remained. Fuchsia was still around and upbeat. Xander was able to keep his cool. We celebrated my 14th birthday during the war, even though the mood was kind of somber. It was enough to keep my heart warm.
However, I felt like giving up.
I couldn't bring myself to become a good strong and brave cop my father wanted me to be. The painful words my demons gave me make me feel down along with the guilt of my friends dying. I felt lost. Even though Emerald tried to cheer me up, I still felt like I was worthless. None of this would have happened if I…
…if I wasn't such a pathetic loser.
There were a few things that caught my mind off from the stress. I would see that turquoise wolf walking around. When I tried to talk to him, he would just run away.
The point is, where did I saw his eyes from?
And why was he so…shy?
And for some reason, I saw his eyes turning…yellow.
I was unable to find the truth. Mostly, I was concentrated on the war. The whole world was ruled by the Eggman Empire. Without Sonic, there would be no one to stop them.
"Is there a way I can help?" I kept thinking.
?, 7 years ago
"…put this here…yeah…that's about done…I hope this gizmo works. She will never find it…"
SLAM!
"I TOLD YOU TO COME OVER TO THE LIVING ROOM! WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG?!"
"ARGH! M-Mama! It's nothing…"
"What's that behind your back?"
"Nothing! Just nothing!"
"Give it to me!"
"HEY!"
"…what…a…a…a machine?"
"…"
"A machine…"
"Mama?"
"A machine…a machine…a machine…a machine…"
"Yeah…that's pretty much the point of it."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"
SMASH!
"N-not again…but…but it was awesome!"
"IT'S RUBBISH! JUST LIKE YOU!"
"But machines are complicated things only adults can make! I made that small machine and it worked! It's something I should be proud of, so why can't you?"
"I…I…I…but…m-machines are bad! We don't need another Eggman."
"But I'm not like Eggman…"
"You ARE! You are just creating machines just for your pleasure and someday, you might grow up to become like him, making thousands of robots to destroy us all!"
"I never have intentions like that! If anyone is Eggman, it is YOU!"
"…WHY YOU LITTLE!"
"ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!"
AN: This chapter is short and we end it with the same mysterious flashback. Anyone can guess what this is?
In the game, the war had been going on for 6 months and I wondered on the question why the Avatar managed to survive despite the guilt they carried after an encounter with Infinite. Were did they go to hide? With my characters, I placed them in a bunker to keep them safe from the Eggman Empire.
I know that I missed out on Mecha's POV, but his is going to be a secret. Clay's and Bubblegum's point of views are important in this chapter and they are taking things for the worse.
Things look hopeless at the moment, but that will change very soon.
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The next chapter is when the heroes rise up from the ashes. Stay tune to find out more.
Until next time, keep on rocking!
