this fic was originally written and posted to ao3 on 9/29/19.

Good-For-Nothing

The liquid scalded his tongue as it slipped down his throat. Q-taro heaved out a sigh, his half-lidded gaze focusing on the array of bottles stacked neatly on the shelves. He took in their bright purple colors, each of them filled to the brim with enough alcohol to drown out his fears. Adjusting himself on the stool, which creaked with every shift, he pulled off his baseball cap and fanned himself, the slightest motion making his drink shiver in the bottle.

He understood things in quick realizations. Everything in his career happened because he saw everything faster than how it happened. Hitting a forkball as it shot to him, dashing through the bases, sliding into home plate, he could have processed all of that within a few seconds, understanding what he needed to do and then accomplishing it, a second guess never needed.

But Kai was dead, his wrists slashed, his blood spilling out onto his long sleeves in agonizingly slow motion. And so was Joe, all the blood sucked out of his body while he was hung up by the wrigglers, each pump having been slow and methodical. Their deaths were imprinted on the back of his eyelids. Right for Kai, left for Joe, meshing together in metal and crimson, and Q-taro drank the very last drop of his beer, their deaths flashing with every blink.

He didn't know what to do after Sara had fainted. Reko, Gin, and Nao were with her while he drank his sorrows. He was thankful for their protectiveness, considering the poor girl had gone through a hell worse than he could ever imagine. The others had gone their separate ways, Sou and Kanna sticking close to each other, Keiji and Alice's whereabouts a complete mystery to him, and Sue Miley was gone without a trace.

"At least she's gone," he mumbled, sighing and throwing the bottle into the trash. It shattered, the glass spreading in the plastic bag. He wiped his face and felt sweat dampen the creases in his brow. Cursing under his breath, he leaned back and listened to the stool creak, his mind fogging over with memories he wished would change.

He wasn't sure what he should have done differently. With his blinding speed, he stopped Sue Miley from activating Kai's device, and he bled out with a smile at a snail's pace. Kai had said their lives were being toyed with by someone's whim, that they couldn't save a single person, and that cutting his wrists had been his resistance to lead them to counterattack. He said it all with such a broad smile, one which seemed too bright and pure for such a cruel world, and it left Q-taro's stomach churning and flipping as his corpse flashed again and again in his mind.

Fear seized him when he heard footsteps echo in the hallway. He clenched his fist, Kai's words lingering in his head. His heart beating rapidly, Kai refused to leave his thoughts as he willed himself to turn around.

"Oh, Q-taro," Keiji said, sauntering inside, his hands stuffed in his pockets. "Didn't think you'd be here."

Q-taro set his fist on his thigh and said, "Keiji, hey. How's Sara?"

He shrugged. "Dunno. I thought the girls and Gin were with her."

His eyebrows raised. Keiji sounded too relaxed. He had been Sara's investigation partner, prompting him to ask, "Ain't you gonna go see her?"

"Nah. I'll let Nao and the others handle it. They've got a better grasp on comforting others than I do." He sat down on the adjacent stool, forcing Q-taro to bite back his uncertainty. "How are the drinks?"

"Not bad. Has a real 'burns-your-throat' taste to 'em." Q-taro raised his chin and gazed at him, watching him stare at their distorted reflections in the bottom of the bottles.

"Well, probably not the best time to drink anyway." He shot a glance at him out of the corner of his eye. "You had one, right?"

Q-taro leered at the trash can, the glass shards glittering like diamonds under the lights. Confusion seized his stomach and squeezed it. His throat dried, stripping him of speech as Keiji turned towards him.

He chuckled and hitched his thumb at the bottles. "One's missing from the shelves. Only reason why I asked. No need to be nervous around Mr. Policeman."

His words did nothing to soothe his worries. He straightened his hunched back and dug his elbow into the table, asking, "How th' hell can you be so calm?"

Keiji's mouth creased into a frown. He rolled his shoulders back and drifted his attention towards the corner of the room. He seemed to be in thought, plotting what he was going to say, the deliberate planning making Q-taro sick to his stomach.

Standing up, he tucked the brim of his cap over his eyes. He grinded down on his molars, the pain his jaw nothing compared to what Joe and Kai endured. He turned away from Keiji's inquiring stare, his thoughts turning towards Sara and what Kai had meant by his final words.

"I learned something interesting," Keiji announced as he started to leave.

He flicked his head over his shoulder, almost wishing he hadn't when he asked, "'Bout what?"

"Can't tell. Not now, at least." Keiji shrugged. "Maybe later."

The muscles in his arms flexed involuntarily as he barked, "There's no damn time to play around! If you wanna say somethin', you say it!" He dug his fingernails into his calloused palms. "You wanna act so smug, do it on yer own time. Don't bother me when lives are at stake."

He stormed out of the bar, clutching his hat as if it could protect him. Blood pounded in his ears, and the walls seemed to shake with each step. He didn't bother moving out of the way when Alice sidestepped him, slipping into the bar without a word shared between them.

I dunno who's a good-for-nothin', Kai. Maybe you weren't, but I don't know about these guys. At least with you-

His train of thought came to a crashing halt when he trudged towards Sara's room. He raised his hat, heat flushing his cheeks at such an intimate scene. He went to turn on his heels and leave, feeling like his presence was unwanted, but he was cemented to the floor, staring at them with wide eyes.

Nao wept on Reko's shoulder. She had her face buried in her hands while Reko rubbed her back, whispering something in her ear. Nao glanced at him and managed a small smile until it broke, returning to her weeping with shaky breaths. Reko cocked her head at the door, and he bowed his head as he entered Sara's room, Nao's crying a somber reminder of their imprisonment.

Q-taro surveyed the room, finding it more like a hotel suite. It was too fancy for his liking, and catching Sara's shivering frame wrapped beneath the white blankets made his heart sink. Wet stains darkened her face. Her hair was a mess of tangled curls. Every few seconds she would let out a strangled moan, leaving little to wonder about what kind of nightmare she was suffering through by herself.

Gin sat at the foot of her bed. He curled himself into a ball and raised his bright gaze at him, saying, "It's my turn to watch over big sis. Wanna watch with me, woof?" The corners of his cheeks pressed upwards. "It'd be good to have a big guy help me protect big sis, meow!"

He felt like a knife had been plunged into his back. Regret seeped into his mouth, but he swallowed it back. Taking off his cap, he set it between his knees as he sat next to Gin, replying, "Sure thing, kid. Yer pretty brave watchin' over 'her like this."

"Yep, yep, woof! That's what Reko said, too." Gin seemed to grin from ear to ear.

Q-taro returned it albeit more wary. He listened to Gin prattle on about how he was going to help Sara from now on, and all Q-taro could think of was how the wrigglers pumped the blood from Joe's body. Q-taro forced himself to smile, suppressing his shudders in front of the small boy who peered at him with curious eyes.

"That's good, kid. That's a good mindset ya got there," was all he could say when Sara gasped, Gin flinching when she did. Q-taro looked back at her, her writhing form reminding him of Joe's twitching body. Running his hand down his face, he said, "Goddammit. God...dammit."

He felt Gin pat his broad forearm, and in silence interrupted only by Sara's crying, they waited for the nightmare to pass.