this story was originally written and posted to ao3 on 10/16/19.

Solace From Me To You

When he closed his eyes, he saw Nao's crushed body. It was as if her death had been imprinted on the back of his eyelids. How the blood poured out of her mouth, her ribs and chest so unnaturally concave as she was squeezed to death, it all stayed with Q-taro when he tried to fall asleep.

Out of all the deaths he had been forced to witness, Nao's death was the most painful. She wailed that she didn't want to die, but she insisted that Sara not push the button. Seeing her expression contort, a waterfall of crimson blood flooding past Nao's lips and staining her teeth, Sara's eyes welling up with tears as her thumb trembled over the button, it had almost made him vomit what little food he had eaten throughout the day.

Throwing the blanket off, he shot out of bed and sucked down a sharp breath. Q-taro couldn't stay for another minute in his room with its posh decor and warm bed. It didn't suit the majority game that he and the others were forced to endure. Being in a room with dull red floral wallpaper only reminded him of the gushing blood which had burst from Reko's chest when her fake had stabbed her.

He dragged his feet out of his bedroom and into the hallway. The lights flickered above him, humming. He glanced around, catching no one outside. It was better that way; it gave him a reason to loiter when he should have been sleeping, nightmares attacking him in his most vulnerable state.

He pulled himself into the bar. The only sound reaching him was his own breathing. He hadn't realized how heavily he had been gasping until the sound bounced in the otherwise silent bar. Swallowing, he slumped down in a stool, his stomach growling in tune with his buzzing brain, and he stared at the board listing the names of everyone who could and couldn't drink.

"A-ah!"

His shoulders hitched to his earlobes. A curt gasp escaped him, the high-pitched yipe like a knife to his mind. He whirled around on the stool, his hands balling into fists only to relax upon recognizing the intruder.

Kanna stood in the doorway, one hand fiddling with the hem of her school uniform. Her eyes darted back and forth. She bowed her head, the odd bucket she wore dipping as well.

"I-I'm sorry. I thought, um, I thought everyone would be sleeping," she said, and Q-taro shook his head, quickly showing his palms.

"Sorry, heh, guess I ain't the only one who couldn't sleep." He offered a smile, which Kanna tried to return, but Q-taro knew it was difficult. He stood up and glanced at the array of bottles, asking, "Did ya need something? Water? Must be a bottle of that in here somewhere."

"Oh, no, no. I just-I just wanted to…" Kanna stepped inside, her footsteps pitter-pattering across the floor. She pressed her back to the wall and slid down, the realization jarring Q-taro.

Kanna and Sou had initially bonded in the bar. They talked about God knows what, but whatever happened between them, it changed Sou. Somehow, she had become so close with him that Sou gladly died for her, a notion he still had trouble wrapping his head around. It wasn't like he could ask Sou why he felt that way. He had been gunned down, the tears he shed painfully clear as they mixed with the blood running across his lips and chin.

Kanna tucked her knees to her chest. She fiddled with her bucket and glanced at the spot where Sou had once sat. Drumming her fingers on her shins, she gnawed on her lower lip and sniffled, her eyes welling with unshed tears.

Q-taro pushed in his stool and edged closer to her. He wasn't sure if sitting next to her would leave her on edge, and he decided to sit in front of her. He tapped his hat against his thigh, the air between them stagnant as Kanna lowered her gaze to carpet.

"I, uh, it's hard, huh?" he asked, gritting his molars. Comforting young teenagers wasn't his strongest attribute. It certainly wasn't dashing around the bases or smashing out a homerun. He itched through his scalp as Kanna raised her gaze to him, her wide eyes filled with uncertainty as he searched for the right words to say.

Kanna rubbed her thumbs against her palms, muttering, "Sou shouldn't have been the one to die."

His brow wrinkled, his eyebrows raising to his hairline. Hearing a young girl say something with such a heavy undertone made his heart sink into his stomach.

"He-he did things that were...wrong." She swallowed thickly, her fingers jabbing faster against her bony knees. "I can't d-deny that, but he-but he shouldn't have been the one to die."

"Kid, kid," Q-taro interjected, leaning forward and shaking his head, "don't go sayin' that. I dunno what Sou's intentions were, but he wouldn't want ya-"

"You don't know what Sou wanted," Kanna snapped, a rare tone of authority coating her words. Her eyes narrowed into slits, Q-taro grimacing when he realized how dark the bags were under them.

He couldn't argue with her. None of them really knew Sou like Kanna did. Whatever they shared was special, a bond born through tribulations no one should have endured. Sou wanted her to survive more than anyone else, allowing his own life to be sacrificed in the process, and when Q-taro reflected on that last vote, he paled, realization striking him like a lightning bolt.

"Ya didn't even get to say goodbye."

Kanna flinched, her head smacking against the wall. All of her anger dissipated like a fine mist, replaced with wet eyes and trembling lips. She tucked her head between her knees, and a keening mewl escaped the back of her throat.

Q-taro hadn't meant to say it so forcefully, as if his words had any tangible impact. He blurted it without thinking. Guilt seized his chest, spreading like a disease as he understood that Kanna had lost two precious people in the majority game. Her older sister and Sou had died in a game that he still couldn't fully understand, the dolls' laughter echoing in the back of his mind.

He carefully maneuvered next to her, his larger frame shadowing the young girl, covering her bright hair and uniform in darkness. Gulping, he said, "Sorry, Kanna. I didn't mean-I shouldn't have said it like that." He lowered his voice as another sob racked her tiny body. "I don't know much about Sou, but he wanted you to live. Just like Sara's gonna live for Joe and Kai, ya gotta live for Sou." Q-taro cupped her shoulder, his hand massive on her small body and forced his mouth into a grin when she looked at him with watery eyes. "Don't let that guy's memory be in vain, y'hear?

Kanna didn't reply. The silence grew thick between them, Q-taro feeling like he was choking on air. He tried maintaining his smile, the tears she shed falling more heavily.

Before Q-taro could say anything else, Kanna threw her arms around him and wailed. Her cry cut through the tension and speared through his chest. He let her bury her forehead against his broad shoulder, his free hand patting her back and rubbing small circles between her shoulder blades. Words failed him once again, and he let her cry until her lungs were completely depleted, gasping back sobs as she pulled away.

"He'd want you to live," Q-taro insisted, his grip on her back firm and steady.

Kanna wiped her eyes with her sleeve. She gazed at the spot where Sou had once sat, a small smile pressing into her cheek. She breathed in deeply and nodded, that small gesture enough for Q-taro to chuckle.

"Ya want that water? Must be some around here," he said, pushing off his knees, and Kanna followed him, her grin a tiny comfort.

"I-if there's any ice, I'd like that, too, please," she said, lacing her fingers by her stomach.

"Sure thing, kid. Can't have water without any ice." He set his cap back on to his head, and glancing down at her, he wondered if he'd be able to help Kanna keep her unspoken promise to Sou.