AN: I'm back, everyone! Those weeks of studying, exams, writing, staring at computers for at least 12 hours a day, and a lot of angst, I'm finally done for this year's exams. Now I can go back on my writing for the remainder of this holiday.
You might have seen something...special in my latest update on my Trolls story.
And I made a new teaser for an upcoming Sonic story. Pretty savage, huh?
Go check it out and see what you think I will be doing in the future!
I like to warn you all that anyone who grows up in an abusive childhood may not enjoy this. I apologize if this may trigger you.
Chapter 17 – Behind These Hazel Eyes
?, 5 years ago
"Mama. We need to talk…NOW."
"I'm telling you. Not now. I'm about to…why do you have that luggage with you?"
"Like you care."
"…excuse me?!"
"You never cared about me. You never cared about how I am feeling. You never cared about how I am suffering. All you care about is yourself and wish that this 'mistake' would get out from your life."
"What gives you the right to talk like that? I'm not going to repeat what happened last year!"
"…"
"…what? What the heck are you doing? Why that stupid smile?"
"Ever since I was born, I was just a small little baby. All in the hands of a divorced mother."
"HUH?!"
"And I thought that I would have a splendid life. Bring fine with my mother and my siblings. But…I was SO naive. The world wouldn't give me a chance. All along, you pushed me to the ground for 10 years already. And for me; I'm becoming as worse as you are."
"…"
"I pushed my twin sister down the stairs. I hurt her. I can't be around here. I can't hurt my own family like you did."
"W-W…What?! Whatever, just what the hell you are doing?"
"I can't stand any of this anymore. I'm leaving."
"WHAT?!"
"You heard what I said: I'm leaving. I already rent a room in an apartment and already asked a construction team to build a home. I already have enough money to survive than being with this stupid family."
"You are not going anywhere, son."
"I am. And you should be thankful that I'm going."
"…"
"One more thing; I NEVER asked to be born. I NEVER asked to be a mistake. If it is anyone's fault that makes me one, then it yours."
SLAM!
"STOP! GET BACK HERE!"
"…goodbye, Mama. I'm never coming back home."
...
...
...
...
...
"...fine then, Mecha. I don't need you anymore."
Bubblegum's POV, Resistance HQ (In the afternoon)
It was a couple of hours after the Operation Big Wave finished. When we all got back to the Resistance HQ, I noticed that everything was…different.
Everyone looked upset.
Apparently, this 'Operation Big Wave' was probably the most stupid operation in the world.
A lot of people were slaughtered.
Even though we managed to destroy the generator, everyone was ticked off since half of our forces was wiped out.
I heard that the REAL Shadow came to the HQ and now was on our side. A lot of soldiers weren't comfortable around him, but Rouge backed him up. That's a relief.
I was still upset after our failed attack.
I was even sad that Belt was captured.
Oh Belt…I hadn't thought about him in a long time. I can't imagine what he had to go through. Being captured by Eggman for 6 months. I wasn't sure if Belt was still alive or where he was at.
And…Rookie is his brother.
I heard that Rookie went off to tell this to the Resistance leaders.
Meanwhile, I was thinking about something else.
I was thinking about Infinite again.
I couldn't stop thinking about the face behind that mask.
Those blue and yellow eyes he have.
They look…innocent.
Again, Infinite didn't look like some kind of killer…monster…or an abomination when I saw what was under his mask.
He looked like…an innocent person.
I didn't told ANYONE about Infinite's identity yet as I was worried that they wouldn't believe me. And it wasn't the right time, because everyone knew Infinite as a murderer. However, it was only my Pink Wisp and Mecha's Yellow Wisp who knew about this. I discussed about this with them and they agreed to stay silent for now.
I wondered what Eggman did to make Infinite the monster he was?
And how come Mecha seemed afraid when Infinite was around?
I was thinking of asking Mecha and get some REAL answers.
But when I arrived at Richard's room, I decided not to ask.
"YOU DID WHAT?!" burst Richard upon hearing Mecha that he 'killed' Minty.
"Calm down," said Mic, trying to hold Richard back from fighting. "He said that he didn't mean to do so."
Turned out, Mecha had came over to see Richard and Mic at their bunk room to tell the tragic news.
That Minty…is dead.
Fell from the tall tower.
Richard was enraged.
Mic was trying to hold him back.
Mecha looked…depressed.
"You got ONE job, you DIDN'T take note of those robots and you DROPPED Minty down below?!" snarled Richard at the numb Mecha.
"Wait!" said Mic. "Again, he didn't mean to let Minty be killed. Yes sure, he was the one who dropped the debris, but he wasn't able to save her. Just leave the poor kid alone."
Richard was furious and punched the bird.
I winced.
Mecha barely responded, his tip of his beak crooked.
Richard snarled. "'POOR KID'?! Have you forgotten what he did YESTERDAY?! Didn't you see what he did to his teammates?! Maybe Angelica is right, you ARE a mistake."
Mecha was taken aback. He was about to yell, but stopped. He opened his mouth again, but closed it before shaking his head and walked away.
Richard realized his mistake. "W-wait! Hold on! I…I didn't mean to…I made a mistake."
"And so did I," said Mecha bitterly. "I AM the mistake."
He stopped when he saw me watching from the door.
I wanted to say something, but my mind went blank.
He looked away in shame and stomped off.
"Did I miss something?" I asked.
Richard sighed and fell onto his bed. "Maybe I…I was just so angry at him."
"For what?"
I sat down on the bed beside Richard.
"He…accidentally…got Minty killed…" he said, covering his face up. "I…I can't believe it…I thought that Minty was dead a long time ago…she came back, but now…she's gone…again…I don't think she will survive that fall…"
I was silent. I wasn't sure what to say. But then, I remembered what happened to my parents.
Like what Mecha said before, it isn't UTTERLY his fault.
Or mine.
"You see…" I said sadly. "Mecha…he is a bastard, but he doesn't like killing someone. I don't think that he let Minty die on purpose. Before, he would try to hide the fact that it never happened, but the look on his face shows that he feels guilty. I…I don't blame him for my father's death."
Oops.
I covered my mouth quickly.
Richard and Mic were shocked.
"What did you say?" said Mic.
I was about to lie, but remembered that I said to them that I have lost my friends to Infinite. I wasn't sure if I should, but it would be best to tell them my backstory. I reached in and found the memory of the last time I saw my father.
I wrapped my arms around my body, uncomfortably.
"Bubblegum?" said Richard, his voice was shaking. "What did…Mecha do?"
"Well…" I said slowly, starting to feel tears in my eyes. "I…I used…to have parents. Even though…we were a bit difficult at times…we were…a happy family. My dad was there for me whenever…I fell down…he said he would fix me…one day…when I was 10 years old…I…I got into a fight with Mecha. We ran outside of town…we were at an unstable bridge…over a deep ravine. But…the bridge…it started to break…"
I stopped for a while.
Richard and Mic looked concerned, glancing at each other.
I had to take a deep breath and let it go.
"What happened?" asked Richard.
"The bridge…it started to break. Mecha and I tried to run. I think my father heard my cries and he ran after us. He tried to rescue us…he picked us up and ran to the edge…but the bridge snap…he threw both of us…and he was…was…hanging onto the broken bridge. Mecha and I tried to pull him up…but the bridge snapped again…and…that was the last time I saw him."
I felt tears coming down from my eyes.
Richard placed a hand on my back, rubbing me in a way of comfort.
"…they never found his body. The ravine was too dangerous. I…I blamed Mecha for this…but…I guess that it was both our fault. My mother died a year later…due to an illness and…heartbroken. I just thought…maybe if I could join the Resistance…I could just…make the world…a better place…just like what my father wanted to do…he would hear me…I…I would see him again…"
I nearly broke down when Richard pulled me into a quick hug, his tail wrapping around my body.
"I'm…I'm so sorry for that to happen," said Richard. "Did…did he try to apologize to you?"
"…he didn't," said Bubblegum. "…though I could tell he tried to. He just have trouble saying sorry at times. Yes, I'm mad at him…but now…I'm not so sure…"
A question came to mind.
"And now I thought about it," I said. "Do…do you have a family?"
There was a faraway look in Richard's eyes. He growled a little before sighing.
"Our families were killed by Infinite," said Mic sadly. "Both for me and Richard."
I nodded solemnly.
"I-it was the day when Sonic was defeated…" explained Richard. "Me and my friends saw what happened there. He was lying on the ground…not moving. Tails broke into a run and I didn't know where he went. I ran off, trying to find my family…but Infinite destroyed everything in sight. He destroyed my home…where my parents were at…I didn't see them…but they died. My younger sister tried to protect me…and the last thing I saw…was that smile on her face…before she collapsed."
Richard stopped, having tears in his eyes. He wiped them off angrily.
"I didn't know where my mother went…" said Mic. "She died. I only have my father left, but he was too afraid to fight in the war. He was a former leader of a wolf pack, but he give up the job due to an argument. When we signed up for the Resistance, he didn't want to let me join the fight, but it was my choice to stop Eggman."
"I…" said Richard. "…again…I'm so sorry for your loss and being a bit too hard on Mecha…it is hard to believe that he let one of my closest friends die. First my family, my entire squad and now…her…well. At least she gets to be with the rest of her family! Yet, I don't know about how her cousin will think about this. Mic still has his family…I lost my entire family…do you…have any remaining biological relatives of yours?"
I shook my head. "My grandparents died a long time ago. I never get to know them well. I don't know what happened to them. I don't have any other family anywhere in the world, so I stayed with Emerald. At least she is a nice sister I can have. It's better than being on the streets. I'm sorry that you lost everything."
"Don't worry," said Richard. "We will make sure that Infinite will pay for this."
Mecha's POV
As soon as I left Richard's room, I decided to find a room for myself. Eventually, I chose a private hospital room. I won't lie; I nearly tripped over some medical equipment, but I didn't care. I was so emotionally drained that I wasn't looking at where I was going.
I couldn't believe that I was forced to remember those memories. I was still broken after hearing Finn crying out for me. It was as if he would always haunt me. When seeing those memories, I couldn't help but cry. I felt like I was going to die, but as if I care if I want to live.
I hadn't talk with anyone. I avoided Emerald and Sebastian.
I wasn't in the mood to talk.
Brooding, I looked at myself in the mirror, trying to fix my hair feathers.
Urgh…I hate having short hair.
I was using…black duct tape to glue the chopped off pieces back onto my remaining hair. I managed to connect them back together, but it looked like my long head feathers have duct tape wrapped around them in the middle for no reason.
It looked like I dyed them partly black.
I tried them out, twisting my hair feathers in a lazy twirl.
"Doesn't feel the same," I said.
I stared at myself in the mirror and saw the scar on my face. I slowly touched it, wincing a little when feeling it. It was healing, but for some reason, it kind of hurt.
That scar…it represented how pathetic I was.
"How much of a mistake I was," I thought bitterly.
I couldn't stand looking at myself in the mirror, but my eyes still peered at my own reflection. It made me want to claw out my eyes with my bare hands.
My eye twitched.
"ARGH!" I screamed in my thoughts. "I…I…I can't stand this. I look very ugly. I…I hate seeing this. I'm acting as if I'm a school girl. This is STUPID!"
The rage eventually lashed out as I threw my fist at the mirror. The mirror shattered a bit, pieces of glass falling onto the floor. I was about to attack the mirror again when I saw somebody hiding behind the door.
It was Rookie.
"I can see you there," I said.
"Oh…" Rookie said awkwardly. "Um…sorry. I…"
Rookie came inside the room. "I wanted to tell-"
"No need to," I said.
I looked at him confused. "Huh?"
"I heard you talking to Sonic that night. Apologies if I invaded your little secret."
Rookie looked shocked, but quickly shrugged it off. "I-It's OK. I already told the others about Belt."
I nodded and turned around, facing my back against him. "…you can go now."
"I just popped in to see if you are OK."
"I'm fine. I'm fine like ALWAYS the time."
But I wasn't fine. I wasn't. I wanted to tell him how upset I was, but that would mean looking pathetic in front of him. I just stood there in my spot.
I looked down…and saw my hands.
Since my black leather gloves were off at the moment, I caught a glimpse of my wrists.
On my wrists are…brown line stripes.
…they were noticeable to see.
They don't look like scars, but as part of my feathers.
Oh shoot. I forgot.
I was about to move my hands to the front when Rookie noticed them.
"Um…" said Rookie. "What are those?"
"Huh?" I said.
"Those stripes…those lines on your wrists."
My eyes widened hearing this. I turned around and quickly put my hands behind my back.
"It…it is nothing…" I said worriedly.
"I already saw them," said Rookie, his voice becoming surprisingly firm. "What…are…those?"
"That's none of your business!" I snapped.
We were quiet for a while. I turned around again and dropped my hands to the sides. I was SO tired of trying to hide them. And since Rookie saw them, it would be a matter of time before he told everyone about them.
The voices came to my mind again.
"No one cares about you."
"You don't deserve to live."
"No one will listen to you."
"You are a mistake."
"Why won't you just die?"
I tightened my hands into fists, trying to fight back from crying.
"If you don't wanna talk…" Rookie said gently. "…don't talk. If you wanna punch me in the face, punch me in the face. If you wanna ignore me, then ignore me."
He took in a deep breath.
"You're right. I messed up a hundred times. I…I want to save my brother and others…but you just let me feel down. I know that…I…I don't know why I joined the Resistance…I have no idea I have these powers…the world is dying…so I am here.
I heard him take a step forwards.
"It's just me and you…I want to help you as much as I want to help others. I can't, if you don't let me. I won't judge you…I just want to know why…"
I was surprise of his generosity.
Just why is he acting so kind after I treated him wrongly? Is this genuine or is he pretending?
My mind lingered on whether if I should tell him what was bothering me.
I opened my mouth, but closed it.
"C…can I open up?" I thought again. "Should I just…no…no…no, no, no, no, NO. They won't. They won't understand. They DON'T. They can't understand what I went through. They don't know how the world is like. Why should I tell them? To make myself look like a mistake? Show how vulnerable I am? Pfft! Screw that! Screw those stupid darn lies! I don't need help. I don't need ANYONE'S help. I fight for my own life on my own and I don't need ANYONE! I'm not a mistake. I'm not a mistake. I'm not a mistake! I'm not a mistake! I'M NOT A MISTAKE! I'M NOT A MISTAKE! I'M-!"
My thought was interrupted when I remembered what Sebastian said to me.
"I'm…I'm always available when you need someone to cry on…I won't judge you…I'm sorry of how much you have to go through…I just wanted to be your brother…I…I love you as a friend…you don't have to say it back, though…"
Then, I remembered what Sonic said to Rookie.
"The way to deal with pain is not to keep it inside you, but show it outside you. Don't inflict it on others, but instead tell someone about the pain you are going through. They may be able to help you. Please. Tell me. Everyone bleeds the same, so maybe you are not so different to the others. Let me hear you."
After remembering what Sebastian said to me, I started to consider if there are ACTUALLY people who care about me. I was…afraid of what Rookie would think, but…he wasn't going to leave.
Fine then.
I sighed reluctantly and slowly turned around.
"Firstly…" I said. "When you first saw me, what do you think I am?"
"Some kind of rich kid?" I said.
"Wrong. Tell me again. What AM I?"
"…a blue jay?"
I nodded and looked at my wrists. "I…I was meant to be a blue jay…but those stripes…the brown color comes from an eagle. To put it simple; I'm a hybrid between a blue jay and a golden eagle. I have the PHYSICAL LOOK of a blue jay AND the SPEED AND SHARP EYE of a golden eagle. Sounds amazing, right?"
"Um…right?"
"WRONG!" I snapped. "I…I am a child from out of 6 siblings…counting all of us…I was…the hated one. Before I was born…when I was still in my egg…I could hear my parents…yelling…they were arguing over about how selfish my father was because he was so worried about his work instead of his family…my father is a golden eagle…my mother is a blue jay…and…my father said something unforgivable. That was the first breaking point in my life. My parents…had a divorce…they split up…my father left me…and my mother took all her children to Australia…and that was where I was born…"
I stopped. I felt tears forming at my eyes, so I quickly wiped them off.
"My mother…" I croaked. "…she was…angry…she must have find it hard to love because of how selfish dad was. She…took her anger out on us…but…she mostly did it on me…because my brown feathers…those wrist stripes…reminded her of my father…she yelled at me…she beat me up…even for the slightest of mistakes…or for no reason. She calls me…a mistake…for these deformities on my wrists…and said that I…I shouldn't be born…in the first place."
I closed my beak when I suddenly let out a sob.
"I…I never get to see how my father looks like…not in real life or technology…she removed everything related to him…now, I don't know where my father is…so something snapped inside me…I couldn't stand being kicked while being down…there was something I need to do…and I did something…I…became…a BULLY."
Rookie gasped. I was about to talk when I felt my eye twitching. I knew that was a sign of my breaking point, so I stopped and took a deep breath.
"…I always make others feel bad…I want them to feel the same way as I was…I want to hurt people like me…because I was hurting…inside…but…even though I laugh and mock others…I…never feel happy…I never feel proud of myself…I never feel satisfied…I feel…numb…my mother had made a big hole in my heart. I…I never feel happy about anything…"
I paused for a while to get rid of the tears that were forming in my eyes.
"I was a lone bully for a while…that was when I met two bird twins…Ryan and Ian…I reluctantly let them join me because they were birds…then came Sebastian and Finn…I was kind of annoyed when they saw me. To them, they see me as this 'awesome, popular boy' and wanted me to be their friend. I tried to ignore, but they just followed me. Eventually, they won my trust when they gave me something I always kept on my 8th birthday."
I gestured my head to my gloves that were on a wooden table nearby.
"Sebastian gave me those black leather gloves and Finn gave me those black goggles. I was so shocked by their loyalty because I was never given any gifts from anyone, excluding my siblings. I didn't accept them as my friends, but I decided to let them follow me because I cherish those gifts they gave to me. Also, I learnt that Sebastian is an only child – wanting to have a brother – while Finn was an orphan – he wanted a brother, so he looked up on me – so I felt kind of sorry for them. I was slowly starting to like them. However…those 'friends'…I barely socialize with them. I know them very well…but I never told them about my own problems…"
I stopped again.
"That didn't stop me from...becoming worse…when I was 10 years old…I was annoyed at my sister Nicki…and I…and I…PUSHED HER DOWN THE STAIRS…she stomped back to my room…at this…I started to have this…fear of hurting others I care about…so…I left my own family. I…I went on many jobs to earn money, I studied a LOT to become very intelligent every day and night, I bought my own house, so that…I can be alone…away from everyone. No matter what I do…bullying others…earning respect…getting money…being the smartest kid in the world…all that gold…was not enough"
I paused for a while. "Look…I know that you are suffering a lot, so…I will say this to you. Ever since I was 10 years old…I am depressed. Because I isolated myself from my family in the first place, I have bad depression up to today. Everything…is always dull and grey. Why do you think I don't really socialize that much? It's because I don't want to hurt those I care about. I just feel like there should be no reason why I should explain what happened at home."
The words in my mouth made my throat burn. I paused for a while, rubbing my shirt.
"What's really the reason to put my trust in others when I know how worthless I am? Why make other people waste their energy by caring about me? Why make them care about me when I know that they will just die in my arms? Why make friends if they will turn on you the second you feel happy? That's why I'm still like this…without anyone caring about me."
I stopped when I felt tears coming back.
"I have self-harm thoughts and there are these voices that told me that I should just DIE, but…the reason why I didn't kill myself is because I have been afraid of sharp things…as a young child. Most of all…I want to prove that I am still worthy for living. So that one day, I might see my father…for the first time. That's what leads me to join the Resistance. To…finally be noticed by my father…"
I trailed off. Again I nearly spilled tears, but quickly wipe them off in shame. I felt humiliated. That feeling of humiliation when I told about my true origins was too much for me to handle. I was thinking of punching Rookie, but I decided to stand in my spot.
An uncertain look appeared in Rookie eyes as they turned from yellow to gold. The glow in his golden eyes radiated in pity.
He looked…anxious.
"Do…do you ever feel bad about what you did?" asked Rookie. "For all the bullying?"
I gulped at that question. "I…I don't know…I just feel so dull inside…I don't know if I'm regretful for my mistakes…yet…I know what I was doing wrong in the FIRST PLACE. I…I want to say sorry for all the bad things I've done…"
"You…you do?"
I nodded. I was about to say 'sorry', but then…this angry feeling built up in my body.
"They won't understand me," I thought. "Not from what I went through. How can someone feel sorry for a person like me? Nobody will talk to me after the things I did. They won't. They can't. They don't. They SHOULDN'T."
I spread my arms out. "But it doesn't matter! Why does it REALLY matter?! Why would THEY forgive me? Finn wouldn't! He DIED because I failed to save him. And even if you tell the others about my mess, would that explain why I am a bully? Do you think MY parents' divorce would EXCUSE me?"
"N-No!" stuttered Rookie. "But at least I understand now you're acting like this! Hell, I don't even know what to think of you when I'm still suffering. Do you REALLY want so badly for everyone to not care about you? Don't you have friends who worry about you?"
I was fuming. "Friends?! I don't need friends! And if you REALLY think Sebastian is my friend because he sticks around with me, that's because I'm PRETENDING to be one. Like I said; why would you have friends if they will TURN THEIR BACK on OR if they die in your own care?!"
"I-I-I don't think that's true. What if there's a way-?"
"I did all those bad things ON PURPOSE. You can't change that, wolf. Nobody can understand my pain. Nobody can understand what I have to suffer through. That's how the way the world is! You're just a pathetic wolf child!"
"T-The way the world is?!" Rookie stuttered. "I-I'm not pathetic. T-T-That's not nice…if you are nice, then we would have understand you better!"
Nice?
Nice?!
NICE?!
I was always reminded of how bad my actions were, but it is a rare chance that people would say that I wasn't nice. I couldn't believe that I wasted a part of my time talking about my past. I was getting agitated by every second. I knew that Rookie would tell everyone else about my past and it was too much for me to bare. My insanity reached to the highest of all insanity ranks in the entire universe. I couldn't control myself.
I felt like MURDERING someone.
My eye twitched. I grabbed Rookie's collar and pulled him near me.
"'NICE'?!" I screeched. "YOU THINK THIS WORLD IS NICE?! Let me tell you what's not nice; BEING BORN WITH THE WRONG TYPE OF PARENTS! Open up your eyes, blind wolf. The world is not all about peace, kindness and all that stupid nonsense! It's about struggle and fighting for your life for the goals you want to achieve! It is a world where only the strongest survive and the weak get trampled! The weak deserves to die! And if you REALLY think that's false, than you are just living an illusion, so look at reality! There is no tooth fairy, no magic and no STUPID GOD! And oh, about that cross you wear?!"
I grabbed his cross necklace.
"I wanted to break this SO BAD to show you that GOD ISN'T REAL! IF HE IS, THEN HE JUST LEFT US. HE JUST SO STUPID, DEAF, BLIND AND SELFISH THAT HE JUST LEFT US ALL TO STRUGGLE! YOU CAN'T TRUST THOSE IMAGINARY GODS!"
I pushed Rookie and grabbed his collar again.
"And besides. I'm a bully. YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF BULLIES OUT THERE! AND THAT'S NOT MY FAULT! YOU'RE EITHER A JERK OR A VICTIM! A WINNER OR A LOSER! A PERFECTION OR A MISTAKE! AND I SWEAR TO HEAVEN, HELL AND TO THE WORLD THAT I WILL NEVER BE A MISTAKE. I don't need anyone! I don't CARE about anyone anymore! Call me what you want! Hate me as much as you like! But don't dare call me a mistake! Remember this: I'm not a mistake. Do you hear me?! I'm not a mistake! I'm not a mistake! I'm not a mistake. I'M NOT A MISTAKE!"
I started to shake Rookie violently and yelled in foreign languages. I was never this mad before. I felt my voice cracking, but I didn't care. I was too angry to care.
Having enough, Rookie quickly let out one claw from his right hand and I saw it.
The fear of sharp objects got to me. This time, I had enough of being scared. Instantly, I threw my fist at Rookie.
WHAM!
"KYA!" he screamed.
He stumbled backwards, holding onto his right cheek. He touched it and winced. When his hand let go, I saw that…there was a bruise on his muzzle.
I gasped.
Tears formed in Rookie's eyes. "W…why did you do this, Mecha? I thought I could make you feel better…"
He started to break down again. I would be disgusted at this, but seeing the bruise on his cheek, it…it…it looked VERY familiar.
It matched the bruise I gave to Nicki years ago…after I pushed her down the stairs.
I remembered that very clearly.
"…a…a…ah…"
"…"
"Big sister!"
"…w…w…what did I…?"
"…"
"Big sister? Are you OK? Ah! There's a black spot on the right side of you face."
"It's just a bruise. Leave me alone, Willow."
"S-sister…I…"
"W…why did you do this, brother? I thought I could make you feel better..."
In Rookie's spot, my eyes led me to see Nicki in front of me, having that bruise on the side of her cheek. She was looking at me with eyes that were filled with shock…fear…frustration…and betrayal.
And then, everything around me turned dark.
For some reason, everything changed.
Finn suddenly appeared.
As that…same innocent, 10 years-old wolf I knew.
"M-Mecha…" he whispered. "You're scaring me a little."
Then, everything violently changed.
I was then treated to a horrific sight; Finn…the last time I saw him…standing in front of me with ripped clothes. His chest was burnt – where he was fataly shot – and he had burnt parts all over his body. There was a tear in his left ear and his yellow eyes…looked dull. He stared at me with a horrified and pained look.
"M-Mecha…" he gasped as if the air in him was escaping.
I gasped, unable to believe what I saw.
He suddenly fell forwards.
The whole place turned dark.
Then Finn…lying in front of me.
Dark.
Finn was now a rotting corpse.
Dark.
And…
His face suddenly appeared in front of me, nearly looking like a melting head.
"Ṁ̸̹͉̮E̵̹̎C̶͓̫̏̌͝H̴̹̑͊͜A̷̬̫͐̂́!̷̬͑!̸͍͒͂̓!̴̳̐ͅ" he shrieked. "Ṁ̸̹͉̮E̵̹̎C̶͓̫̏̌͝H̴̹̑͊͜A̷̬̫͐̂́!̷̬͑!̸͍͒͂̓!̴̳̐ͅ"
And just like that, the vision disappeared and I was back at the Resistance HQ.
Rookie was in front of me…shivering. He was starting to cry again. As he looked down, I saw his bruise. It was small and a bit black, but the sight of it made me gag. Seeing the wolf in this hurtful state…I felt this feeling again.
Guilt.
I slowly walked up to Rookie, but he stepped backwards.
With a trembling finger, I touched his bruise and he winced.
"I-It's swelling," I said.
Rookie was silent for a while. "It's not too bad though, is it?"
I kept looking at the bruise, gently touching it to see if it would continue to swell.
However, seeing it brought me back memories of me hurting my sister.
Seeing…Finn's dead body.
At this, I couldn't take it anymore.
I gave up and looked away. Finally dropping the narcissism I had to use to mask myself, I lowered my head and dropped to my knees.
I let out a shaky sob.
"M-Mecha?" said Rookie, wiping away his own tears.
The voices came to me.
"No one cares about you."
"You don't deserve to live."
"No one will listen to you."
"You are a mistake."
"Why won't you just die?"
And then came the memory of my mother beating me up.
"STOP, IT PLEASE! IT HURTS!"
WHAM!
"YOU THINK YOU'RE SOMETHING?! YOU THINK YOU'RE SOMEONE?! YOU'RE NOTHING! NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING!"
"Mum…"
"If you ever mention about your father to anyone ever again, I'LL MAKE YOU WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!
"Please…just leave me alone…"
"Now I'm stuck with you. The biggest mistake I EVER made."
"Why won't you just DIE?"
Struggling, I was focusing on trying not to cry. Not in front of someone I mistreated, but the tears were coming and I couldn't stop them. The fact that my mind was hurting from all the heartache I went through didn't help. I was no longer in control of my emotions and everything felt so bleak to me. It was as if I lost my chance to escape from a maze. My whole body trembled and I shut my eyes.
I had been locking my own depression for my whole life…but it was becoming very unstable. Something that I couldn't push away for long.
And then, the floodgates opened.
Tears rolled down my eyes, rolling from my face.
I let out another shaky sob.
"Mecha," said Rookie gently. "I'm…I'm fine…it's just that-"
"No," I said quietly. "I…I don't care if you say you're fine…your bruise…looks so bad…it's just that…I'm having a bad day today…ALL OF US are…"
At this, I opened my eyes and I let out another sob. I looked at Rookie.
"I…I didn't mean to take it out on you…" I whispered. "…t-this is like the time I hurt my sister…the bruise there on your face…I didn't mean to!"
Rookie hesitated for a while. "I-Ot's fine…"
"No…everything is not fine…everything is not fine…"
I closed my eyes and shook my head.
"Every day…is so grey…I just hoped that if my father noticed that I am with the Resistance…then he would…he would notice me…he would meet me…I want him to be proud of me…at least one of my parents be proud of who I am…but…I am not proud of myself…"
I paused for a moment.
"I'm…I'm jealous. I'm jealous of how everyone has good parents while mine are just awful. I can never see my father nor live up to my mother's expectations. I…I just don't understand why other kids get to be happy and comforted while I just sit on the sidelines…just like what happened when Bubblegum comforted those children back in San Francisco yesterday…I…I was barely given comfort…"
Rookie hummed, looking down. He hesitated a little before speaking in a soft voice.
"But…do your siblings or friends tried to help you?" he asked. "You've spent a long time thinking about the bad times that you pushed away the good ones. The ones who…tried to reach out to you."
I remembered.
I remembered that my life wasn't always hopeless.
I remembered that I was comforted before.
I…I had friends.
Sebastian…Ryan…Ian…even Finn.
Nicki…my twin sister…and my other siblings.
Moments that I shoved down a long time ago.
I came to realize that I wasn't always alone.
"Oh my goodness," I sobbed. "They…they want to hang around with me. They see me as a brother to them. And…and it felt golden being around them."
Rookie bit his lip. "I guess that...you had been very bitter and that led you to forget the good times you had with those who loved you. You…pushed others away."
"I-I just…separated myself from them to not hurt them…"
"But…are they the ones you are trying to protect?"
My mouth hung opened. I had been pushing others away in fear that I would hurt them, but…this wasn't for keeping them safe. This was just to…
…protect myself from the pain of knowing that I hurt other people.
I closed my eyes and lowered my head, allowing pain to keep on torturing me.
I realized how much of a jerk I had been for refusing help when I should have accepted it.
"Hey," said Rookie.
I slowly opened my eyes to see Rookie holding his hand towards me. His eyes were golden.
"Need some help?" he asked.
I shook my head.
"I…I don't need your help," I said. "I don't DESERVE your help. I already wasted that chance. I…I have been selfish."
"But you helped a child to get back up in San Francisco yesterday. Are you saying it is wrong if I do the same thing as well?"
I was silent. I remembered helping that little boy get up. Rookie had a point. I helped the little boy to get up and Rookie wanted me to get up.
I was thinking of accepting help. Slowly, I was about to grab his hand…before pulling my hand away.
"W-What is the meaning on this?" I said.
Rookie growled impatiently. Immediately, he grabbed my hand, got me up and pulled me into a tight embrace. I started to panic.
"W-What are you doing?!" I said. "This is disgusting!"
"Why's that?" Rookie said. "Never got a hug from your parents before?"
I gasped hearing that. No one...no one gave me a hug before. Not my parents. I did get some hugs from my siblings, but those were a long time ago. I did get hugs from my teammates, but I was pretty disgusted. I will admit I liked them, but I was uncomfortable.
Getting comfort like this…it felt alien and rare to me. At the same time, it felt like a blade cutting into my chest.
"It's OK," said Rookie. "Even though we are different, I understand. You can cry. I won't judge you. Your mother isn't here to see you, is she?"
He was right.
I felt pain swarming around my head. I didn't know what to think about this. I couldn't even breathe.
This reminded me of how much my siblings cared for me.
A few years ago…
I was 8 years old back then, in my home. After my mother scolded at me again and destroyed that stupid machine I made, I stomped away. I missed out dinner and I locked myself in my room.
I sat on my bed, staring at nothing.
I just sat there for a long time, not caring how much my stomach hurt.
Then, the door opened.
It was from my younger sister, Willow. She was 2 years old that time. She wobbled to me.
"Big bwother, OK?" she said. Her punctuation was not good at that time.
I looked away. "Please…just leave me alone."
My sister was silent. "Don't listen to Mama. Maybe she is not well."
"She is always not well," I said bitterly. "She doesn't know if I'm not well too. It's like no one loves me."
I felt Willow wrapping her arms around me in a lovingly hug. Her beak nuzzled into my chest warmly.
"I love you, big bwother" she said, smiling. "I will never dislike you. I won't be like Mama. Please know that your bwothers, sisters and me will always be by your side, OK?"
I was silent for a while. It was overwhelming of how Willow cared so much about me. I was touched by her words.
I smiled and returned the hug.
The whole world became golden all of a sudden.
"Yeah," I said. "Thank you, sister."
That was a long time ago. I remembered that one of my sisters – Willow – always hugged me when I had a bad time. There was nothing that could stop her from loving me.
Well…sort of.
When I moved away, I stopped talking to my family. Nicki still hung around, but I tried my best to distance myself away from her. Because of my mindset of fearing that I would 'get them hurt' prevented me from talking to them. I was just pushing myself away from them because I felt like I didn't deserve their love and comfort.
The place I used to call home.
I took a glance at Rookie's left arm; turquoise fur that was slightly ruffled from the battles. I spotted his scars…scars that he earned from the war. Something that he had for 6 months and fell to the ground several time. But he managed to pick himself up with help from others.
I wasn't the only one in this.
All of a sudden, I saw another vision.
It was brief, but I saw Rookie suddenly turning into Finn. That same teal wolf having his arms wrapped around me. At that moment, I felt him presence. I felt his actual arms embracing me. His arms were wide open for me to hold onto. It was…as if…he is still alive.
The vision faded away and it was just Rookie trying to comfort me.
But…I still felt as if Finn was still around.
It was Rookie who was there.
He…he nearly look so similar to Finn.
The same teal fur, the same muzzle, the same looks…
I didn't want to see how Clay and Finn look the same.
But I did.
I felt everything becoming grey and cold.
Something shattered inside me.
With Rookie's arms still around me, I couldn't help but…cry. I was shaking so badly. I was finally letting out all these emotions I bottled up for the past 15 years. After 10 years of being assaulted by my own mother and 5 years of isolation, I finally accepted that I need to let go off my pain, but not through hurting others. I need to finally open it out in a way that would only hurt for a minute. The fact that Rookie was trying to comfort me was making me feel disheartened since I wasn't used to kindness.
I shed tears and they rolled down my face. Those tears must be staining Rookie's vest, but the wolf didn't seem to care. I let out a soft cry. I sounded like an injured bird who is struggling to breathe properly. Then, the cries came before evolving into hysterical cries to loud screams. I was screaming violently as I felt more tears came out from my eyes. The pain was too much, so I wept for my misdeeds and my actions.
Again, I could feel pain in my lungs, but I couldn't stop screaming loudly. My heart was racing painfully as I gripped onto Rookie, longing for physical affection for once.
At one point, I forced myself to stop screaming, so that I could get the chance to breathe. That was when I heard Rookie muttering something.
"It's still hard to believe…" he whispered to himself. "…I thought that you don't care about anyone or anything…but you're just a lost kid…like me."
This made me cry harder. Despite fully aware that I was a bully, I had to remind myself that I am just a teen. I was still young that time. I was still a kid. A child who is in need of comfort and respect.
I miss my home.
I miss my brothers and sisters.
I miss Finn.
After a long cry, Rookie let go off me. I was still crying, but I stopped screaming and instead whimpered. I was trembling in emotion.
Of course, old habits died.
I tried to wipe my tears away, but they were too much.
"What are you looking at?" I croaked. "D-Don't look at me."
"What's wrong with being upset?" Rookie said.
"It's…it's just that…crying…makes me a…mistake."
"I don't think it is. Sonic told me that it means that you need help. I…I have been crying a lot for the past 6 months…it's because I can't have it all bottled up inside."
I guessed he was right. I had mine bottled up for so long that it caused me to snap in insanity. To my surprise, Rookie didn't laugh at me for crying. He let me cry. He seemed to understand. No…he DID understand me.
I caught a look on Rookie's face. I swore that I saw tiny tears in his eyes.
I sighed. "I…I guess so…it feels kind of relieving…you…you have been so nice to me…"
Rookie looked a bit flustered. "I'm sorry…about what happened to you. I didn't know. I thought that you were interested in power the whole time."
"Well…gold makes me happy…but not enough to give me a blissful life…"
I forced myself to look at Rookie's eyes.
"Do you think my father would be proud of me?" I said. "J…just please tell me what you think. I just need to know."
But I wasn't sure if my father is alive. Rookie gave a small smile.
"I think he would be proud of you already," he said.
I nodded.
My eyes slowly aw something behind Rookie.
He looked behind to see who was at the door.
And his smile faded.
Bubblegum, Emerald, Sebastian and Richard.
"So…you finally admit it," said Bubblegum, her eyes widened.
"H…how could you?" said Richard, his face mixed with disbelief and confliction.
What?
Did they?
I looked at Bubblegum. "How long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough to hear the ENTIRE THING!" said Bubblegum. "So what Nicki said was right the whole time."
My heart skipped a beat.
"WHAT?!" I exclaimed. "Nicki told you before? BEHIND…MY…BACK?!"
Bubblegum and Emerald nodded.
"S-She told us…" said Emerald. "A month before the war started."
I came to the conclusion that Nicki decided to tell those two idiots about my past. At that moment, I started to think that Nicki wasn't a good sister. She decided to let my secret slip and almost everyone knew about it.
Or maybe she did it in payback for me giving her that bruise years ago.
Suddenly, anger came rushing back to me.
"No wonder why Emerald told that white tiger about this," I said bitterly.
"At least it didn't go out of control!" said Emerald, genuinely hurt. "I'm so sorry about what I said! I swear that everyone didn't know what I told the Yellow Squad. Sonic didn't! Tails didn't! Amy didn't! They are just left with confusing theories about what happened to you."
"So, Captain?" said Sebastian, his eyes watery. "Is this all true?"
I looked down. "Yes. I kept it a secret."
"For hell's sake," said Bubblegum in disappointment. "You didn't think you could keep it secret forever, did you 'Try-Hard'?"
"So you did all of this?" said Richard. "Just to make us feel worse? Just to make you feel powerful?"
I gritted my teeth.
"SO THAT I CAN THROW AWAY THIS PAIN!" I snapped, tears rolling down my eyes. "You know what? Why do you understand OR care? You don't have a damn care of this world, you mindless, care-free klutz! I am sick and tired for being pushed around and how am I going to make myself feel better?! You never know how it feels like to be rejected and seen as inferior."
"You just showed us how it feels like to be pushed to the ground, hypocrite!" snarled Richard. "To your OWN squad! You act like you don't care about anyone and for what? Did you intend to do the same to Minty since you KILLED HER?"
My eye twitched.
"I meant by being ABUSED BY PARENTS! I was just thrown away from them, never allowed ANY…GENUINE…RESPECT! Have any of you feel like that?! Like they don't love you as their child?! Huh?!"
Silence.
"Well?" I said. "No snarky comments?"
Nobody said anything.
Their parents never treated them horribly before.
They don't understand.
When nobody replied, I just shook my head and tried to wipe my tears away. "I'm so disappointed in myself. I knew it. Why do I even bother saying out loud about my problems? You can't wear my sneakers because your feet are too small or big to understand the pain I went through."
"Oh yes, we can't," said Bubblegum fed up. "But we are trying to see what's inside your shoes. What you're hiding from us. How DARE you think that you can just beat others up to make up your misfortune! The worst thing is this…you are just looking down on yourself more than others! I hate to admit this, but you are our town expert; the brains, the brawn, the rich. And you have a big popularity you know."
I clenched my fists. "And how will that clean up everything?"
"First off, you have many people who looked up to you. Including Finn. My friend. YOUR friend. He looked up to you. He was worried about you. He wanted to be close to you like the rest of your team. But he is gone because of us. Also, Nicki is the only one who knows about the background of your family."
Bubblegum placed a hand over her left eye.
"You...underestimate all of us. Everyone is wondering what you are going through. It's not right to hide a secret that is OFFENSIVE to our entire community. Especially the fact that your mother wasn't nice. Families aren't supposed to be violent and I don't know much about your family, but you shouldn't listen to your mother. What she did wasn't right. I wanted to make the world a better place-"
"DON'T TELL ME THAT STUPID QUOTE!" I yelled. "THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!"
I covered my mouth.
Bubblegum flinched.
Great. I wished I could take that back. After hearing her second tirade, I felt guilty. She was right again. I was acting so insecure and rude that I was just pushing others away. I thought so long that everyone would judge me, but from the tone of Bubblegum's voice…I was wrong.
And making the world a better place was what her father wanted.
I saw Rookie. His ears drooped and his eyes turned yellow. I had to remind myself that HE is the one who showed no disgust for my dark demons.
"Unless we can work with each other," pointed out Emerald. "We are still in the war, but if we want to win, we must work on our teamwork. If we have problems, we must solve them quickly before moving onto the bigger picture. We must help each other."
"Help?" I said in disgust. "Why do I need help? I thought you hate me."
Bubblegum rolled her eyes playfully. "Correction. I still hate you, idiot…but I don't want you dead; I want you to change. Believe it or not, I actually have this crazy thought of becoming your friend, so that you won't act mean. I thought that maybe if I was nice to you, you would be nice to me back and saving you from Infinite would be the nicest thing I would ever done to you. But I never had the courage to be nice to you since I don't like you as a bully…until now…straight after our fight with Infinite."
I looked surprised. "But…you know that I intended to do all these things…my excuse is NO excuse to what I've done…besides…I'm the odd one out of this group…birds like me are the real jerks…you can't trust some worthless bird like me…making friends is a bad thing for me…"
The pink cat sighed and shook her head. "You know that this will just make you more depressed. Just…why? Why didn't you let us know in the first place? Why didn't you even told the police or the government about this? If anyone in our town know, then they would have tried to support you in any way. If I ever knew…and if you didn't choose to bully me, I would have done everything I could to make you feel better. Even if I don't have much to offer."
She took a shaky step forward.
"I could have let my father know about this and let him deal with the problem…but…now he's gone. And Nicki told me about what happened to you a bit too late. I might not know how you are feeling, but if making the world a better place is one thing…then trying to help you is another thing. You are worried about our safety, right? Now, it's your turn to have the helping hand."
I was unsure.
But she…has a point.
I did care about my team's safety.
Remembering about my town, I knew that the people around me were willing to help me in any way possible to cure my misery. But because I was selfish. I refused to talk about my problems and let myself be punished everyday.
I had enough of living in a world of grey and I wanted the golden feeling to come back. I wanted to feel happy again. Bullying doesn't lead me to anything, so I can only choose the one choice.
Even though it will be tough.
I sighed and nervously brushed my tail feathers. "I…I guess I can try to…it's going to be hard…for a mistake like me…"
"Don't say that again, idiot," said Bubblegum. "What your mother said to you was wrong. You are not a mistake. Maybe you are because you are a bully. I want you to be good, but…it's up to you. Please don't…be the bully anymore. You would end up like your mother forever…except worse. You are better than you think you are."
I stood there, speechless. I was shocked of how she wanted to work with me. I meant, MY ENTIRE SQUAD. The fact that Rookie and Bubblegum saved me back then made me feel worse as I hurt them. I thought they didn't care about me, but…they didn't really leave me behind. They saved me from being killed…and they came in to see what I was going through. I felt as if they were just wasting their time on a nobody like me. I felt as if I didn't deserve their kindness…but for the first time, I finally accepted it.
"I'm…I don't know how this will make you all feel better," I said. "…but…I'm sorry. I know that you won't believe it, but…sorry…for everything. You have been so nice to me…you saved me back then…I don't know how to repay that kindness…"
To my surprise, what I said was genuine.
Bubblegum nodded, a few tears in her eyes. "That was all I wanted to hear from you. I mean, REALLY. I'm sorry as well for…being a…"
"A hot-headed, razor-tongue brat?" I said sarcastically.
"…you are not wrong. Also, this belongs to you."
Bubblegum took off the goggles she was wearing around her neck and placed it back on my head. MY goggles. My shiny black goggles. The one I wore. The goggles Finn bought for me.
At that moment, I was proud to have them back.
"Well, they suit you," said Richard smiling.
Bubblegum sighed. "Sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, but…"
She trailed off and hugged me. My eyes widened up. Again, I was disgusted…but the feeling of warmth overpowered the negative. THIS was what I needed. To feel safe and warm. To know that things would be OK after all.
The whole world suddenly became golden.
I just stood there, not moving an inch.
Tears streaked down my face again.
"Will…will everything be OK?" I said. "Is there a way for me to change?"
"There should be," said Bubblegum. "Not only for you to stop being the bully…but to fix you."
"Aww!" said Emerald. "That's so sweet!"
Bubblegum let go off me and smiled kindly.
"I'll admit I like that one," I said.
At this, Sebastian hugged me.
I looked down. "I'm…I'm sorry for lying to you Sebastian. Sorry…for…being distant…is it OK if I could try again?"
"Of course!" said Sebastian laughing, having tears of joy. "Yes, dude! I'm just glad that I finally have the brother I wanted. Finn would be proud of you."
I nodded. I know that Finn is gone, but I know that Finn will always acknowledge me.
And Sebastian is still around.
Even though I pretended to be his 'brother', I finally made my mind to try to be a good friend for once.
Sebastian let go of me.
I looked at Rookie.
"Rookie…" I said. "I'm…I'm sorry…"
"Yeah…" said Rookie. "I'm sorry as well for scratching your eye."
"It's fine," I said, wiping off my tears. I felt as if I deserved to have my eye scratched, but I wasn't going to let this kindness fade away. I tried smiling a bit. "So what's next? Do I need God's blessing to redeem yourself?"
I was joking. Of course, I did said that the god Rookie believed in was a fake, but I was just angry. I wasn't thinking straight. It isn't right to judge people by their beliefs. At that moment, I didn't mind about Rookie's necklace that much.
"I…don't think so…" said Rookie.
I faintly chuckled…then the smile dropped. I walked over to the table and put my gloves back on.
"Please don't tell anyone about those stripes on my wrists," I said. "Especially not to Ryan and Ian."
"What's wrong with them?" said Sebastian. "They wouldn't mind. They will still look up to you."
My eyes narrowed. "Just please…I don't want anyone to see them…this means that I'm a mistake…n-no…just give me time...just please don't tell anyone. Not yet."
"OK then."
Richard sighed. "Mecha…you are not a bad person. I won't blame you for Minty's death."
"I'm sorry though…" I said.
Richard silently accepted the apology and went out of the room. I saw Rookie and Bubblegum coming towards me.
"You kind of scared me when I saw those stripes," said Rookie. "At first, I thought they were scars."
I forced a smile onto my face. "I-It's fine. I'm not going to harm myself. Not when I'm not willing to give up looking for my father."
"I…I never heard that you have stripes over your wrists," said Bubblegum. "You shouldn't be ashamed because birds would have those kind of natural markings, do they?"
I sighed. "It's just that my mother made me believe that these make me ugly…and she won."
I was quiet for a while before faking a laugh. "Ha, ha, ha...I…I don't care…I can just cover them up…"
Bubblegum sighed. "You don't need to."
"This is so nice!" said Emerald, coming towards us. "I'm happy that we are now cool with each other!"
At this, she pulled down BOTH – Rookie's and MINE – PANTS DOWN.
Along with the UNDERWEAR.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" exclaimed Bubblegum.
(Note: In this universe, it's alright for male anthropomorphic animals to have no clothes as their private parts are seemingly invisible. HOWEVER, not all of them are comfortable going clothes-free; for example, Belt.)
I was perplexed. Rookie was ANNOYED.
On a thousand levels.
AN: Of course...Emerald would be stupid enough to do this. I just decided to add that in just for the sake of it.
Going through this chapter made me tear up. Trust me, I'm not lying.
I have been trying to write out how Mecha's background will be. When I first made my first fanfic, I started with him just wanting attention and wanting to see his father again. It later developed into a more personal and harmful childhood for him, so in the final product, he had an abusive mother.
As you can tell, the flashbacks between an unknown boy and his 'Mama' are apparently the strained relationships between Mecha and his own mother and the last second one revealed what he did to Nicki that caused him to run away.
The idea of the stripes on his wrists came from this comic on Deviantart called 'Can't Sleep', drawn by Genelover. It was an amazing comic and the scars on the wrists inspired me to have Mecha having 'deformities' on his. I felt that this symbolizes his true character as a kid who isn't like anyone else that he struggles to open up his feelings when hiding them.
And as a reminder, those stripes aren't self-inflicted scars Mecha did to himself. He's born with them.
Bullying is one thing, but abusive households is another. That's what I'm trying to flesh out here; no one deserves to get hurt by their own family - whether it is a sibling or parent - and it isn't right to inflict pain on others. And bottling up emotions is going to lead you to become more dishonest, aggressive and anti-social than ever. I'm pushing the limits to convey this message for people.
As always, if you enjoy this story, be sure to follow or favorite this story, so you can get updates about this story. Make sure to review this chapter on what you think about this chapter. I'm OK of hearing improvements from you (please no flames).
The next chapter will be another break time for the Resistance. Expect for feels (and shenanigans and awkward moments).
Until next time, keep on rocking!
