Raise your hand if you thought, "Yeah, this is about what I expected." To all of you who put your hands up: congratulations, you're delusional and moronic. Because really, this made absolutely no sense. Himejima Akeno, second year student and one of the most popular ladies in all of Kuoh, stood before me in all of her glory, framed like a model in the staffroom doorway. Her gentle smile teased me about my unpopularity, and her eyes crinkled smugly, like she knew something I didn't about the secret agent bullshit sensei was pulling out of her ass.

The guys in this school would literally punch themselves in the balls for her to smile at them. The girls would worship the ground she walked on if she deigned to speak a single word to them. As she did both quite frequently, there was often a chorus of high-pitched screams shouting her praises throughout the school.

For my part, as I looked upon her perfect form, my heart lurched in my chest and my stomach threatened to evacuate itself from my body through my ass.

I would like to reiterate, this was one of the two most popular girls in the whole school – if not city. The last time a pretty girl had given me the time of day it'd been right before my middle school life had crashed from lonely to disastrous.

In fact, barring my imaginary girlfriend, the last time I'd even had something resembling a conversation with a girl who wasn't family or a teacher was about a year and a half ago, during the June of my third year of middle school.

Even then, she'd been talking to her friend behind me, I'd just been too dumb to realise it.

Ahhh, let me die! I want to die! How embarrassing! I don't want to remember such awful things!

Caught up in my panic over speaking to what surmounts to a real-life school idol, I had no idea what she and Sensei were talking about. Turning my attention back to them briefly I found that they'd devolved into trading vague niceties and barbs that apparently constituted a conversation between non-familial women. Really, why couldn't they just grow up and tell each other how they really feel.

"Hikigaya-kun, I had no idea you were so besotted with me! Why, I don't think you've looked away from me once since I opened the door!"

Amethyst eyes glittered in bright amusement as they bored into mine, and I felt a flush creep up my neck and face. It seemed she'd had enough of testing her wit against the teacher and had turned her attention to the student.

Please stop looking at me like that, senpai! I promise, I'm not dumb enough to think I stand a chance with you! Or against you, for that matter. I just want to know what's going on.

Coughing and averting my eyes, I decided that if I wanted to find out anything I had better cut the incoming storm of insults short by hastening to the point.

"H-hey, do either want to fill me in on what the hell is going on, or are you two gonna stand there pretending to be important until the final bell rings?"

Hiratsuka-sensei let out a huff and moved off to the side of the doorway to lean against the wall, leaving me face to face with the way too pretty girl. Wow, without sensei's back to stand behind I realised Himejima-senpai was kind of intimidating.

That smile that so many guys proclaimed to welcome them just seemed to laugh at me. Then again, most girls laughed at me, so that couldn't be what was intimidating about her. Maybe it was her height? I don't think she was massively tall, but something about her made it feel as though I were standing before a giant.

Maybe she was just waiting for me to hit myself in the nuts for her.

Over against the wall, sensei had pulled a cigarette and lighter out of her lab coat. Putting it in her mouth, lighting it and taking a drag, she looked like some hard-boiled detective right out of a manga. Maybe if you had a gun for a head that would actually look cool, but in reality, it just looked really lame. Like some delinquent hiding behind a storage shed.

Himejima-senpai let out her own cough, which brought my attention back to her. Huh, there was an awful lot of coughing going on here, I hoped we weren't all coming down with colds.

"Hikigaya-kun, if you want answers, you'll have to ask questions first."

Fancy that, suddenly she wasn't intimidating at all. Just irritating.

"Funny. Here I thought that you'd come looking for me. In fact, I distinctly recall sensei saying that if you hadn't, I was to be brought to you. I know my grades aren't the best, but I can put one and one together well enough to know that implies you have some responsibility for whatever the hell happened to me. So, Himejima-senpai, I'm not really in the mood to be polite: what the hell is going on?"

I wasn't normally that quick to get angry. Weirdly enough, my patience was a bit non-existent after being murdered by my girlfriend on the most romantic day of the year. Normally, I would never dream of throwing out accusations unless I had plenty of evidence to back-up my claim and a couple escape routes laid out well in advance.

Something on my face must have given away my rising levels of anger and panic, because Himejima-senpai's body language shifted from looming to apologetic.

"You're right. I apologise, Hikigaya-kun. If you would please follow me, I promise that we can explain everything."

'We'?

I wanted to ask who the hell she meant by 'we' but even someone as deathly allergic to gossip like me knew that if Himejima Akeno was around her close friend Rias Gremory wasn't far behind. I guess it only made sense that what one was behind, the other was involved in.

Still...

"Why do we need to go anywhere? Just tell me here so I can go home already."

Please, please, please just let me go home. My head was still pounding and despite my mid-morning nap I was still as lethargic as I'd been all day. Alas, sensei seemed determined to keep me from sleeping today.

"Just go with her. It'll be easier for everyone involved if you just go to their clubroom now instead of later." Sensei said to me as she finished off her cigarette. That was fast, Sensei. You really are just like those delinquents. "Also, I wanna go home too, and I can't do that if you insist on using the staffroom. So get out."

What she was saying made sense. Now that she mentioned a 'clubroom' I remembered that Himejima-senpai and Gremory-senpai were supposed to be in the Occult Research Club. I guess if I really wasn't crazy, then that would indeed be the place most likely to have answers. Also, I wanted to kick me out and go home as well, so I can't blame her for that.

Today was the last day before Winter Break started. Who wants to stay with the crazy kid when you could be under your kotatsu at home?

"Fine. The Occult Research Club right? As expected of such an exemplary senpai, your club sure worked hard to find something about what happened so soon."

What a load of bull. The Occult Research Club was just a shitty excuse to con the school into providing funds and a place to hang out with your friends after school. There was no Research of any kind conducted, except maybe on the differences between snacks. That's how it had been at my old Middle School, and from what I heard that's how it was here as well.

Looks like I was the afternoon's entertainment for the most popular clique in school. My respect for Hiratsuka-sensei had plummeted though. How gullible was she; to believe whatever nonsense they came up with to justify their club staying around. I'd be sure to break her idiocy to her gently when I report back in the new year.

[-]

"Well, now it's just you and me, Hikigaya-kun. I do hope you can restrain yourself appropriately."

Having just left the staffroom, Himejima-senpai turned and said that to me. "Restrain myself"? Just what kind of person did she take me for exactly? Was she saying I gave out the vibe of someone that would assault his classmates? That kinda hurt.

"What are you talking about Himejima-senpai? Is that the kind of person you see me as?"

Senpai let out a delicate little laugh from behind her hand. Seriously? Am I cursed to be surrounded by people who think they're in an anime?

Before I could press more, she deigned to answer me as she began moving again.

"I'd hear there's a first-year boy so perverse that girls are afraid to walk alone. They say he's been caught peeping quite a couple times too. Given how rapturously you were looking at me just then, I thought it might have been you. Are you saying it's not?"

Of course, it wasn't! Anyone dumb enough to get caught peeping should just go turn themselves into the police already. Clearly, they were no-good degenerates that wouldn't contribute meaningfully to this society.

Ahhh, they just had to go and ruin it for the rest of us, didn't they...

I bet I knew exactly which dumbass she was talking about.

Before I could correct Himejima-senpai on her vastly incorrect assumption about me though, something more pressing to mind.

"Senpai, why are we heading downstairs? Aren't the society clubrooms on the fifth floor?" Was the Occult Research Club actually a sports team? How did that even work?

Senpai gave out another "ojou" style laugh. Was that actually how she laughed? How ridiculous.

"The Occult Research Club has our own special clubroom away from the main campus – in the old school building off near the forest, in fact. It's nice and secluded, so no one can hear all the... noise."

Huh? Senpai, why did you pause before saying noise? Senpai, why are you suddenly speaking in that breathy voice? Senpai, why are you looking up at me with those half-lidded eyes?

Was it really about to be my popular period? Had I died and really found myself in the ecchi harem fantasy of every boy's dreams?

"Ah! Did that get you excited Hikigaya-kun? Ufufu, maybe I'll need to restrain you myself, instead of expecting you to hold yourself back."

No. No it was not, and no I had not. That smirk on her face was nothing shy of abject mockery.

That said, the thought of being tied up by Himejima Akeno in a secluded old building rushed to the forefront of my mind. Huh, I didn't think I was into stuff like that.

Giving my head a shake to purge images best left to explore later, I tried to focus on the fact that the Occult Research Club were such good swindlers they managed to make off with a whole building.

"The school lets you use a whole building for your clubroom? Isn't that a bit much? Or, you know, dangerous?"

"When she was young, Buchou-that is, Rias told her father she wanted to live in Japan, and so he contributed quite a large amount of money to the school. Its why they were able to build such a large campus and add the middle school in the first place. The administrators only felt it right Rias was in turn well looked after."

Ah. So the Occult Research Club wasn't full of genius con-artists. Rias Gremory was just so damn rich they let her do whatever the hell she wanted. I suddenly wasn't sure how to feel about Hiratsuka-sensei sending me off with them.

On the one hand, there's no way, as a teacher, she wouldn't know that this 'club' is as fake as my interest in maths. On the other hand, maybe the rich girl has resources that can be used to make the crazy disappear.

Or the boy with the crazy. We were heading to a cozy little building where no one could hear anything happen, after all. And the school couldn't be happy with a budding reputation for fostering nutcases.

Exchanging our indoor shoes at the lockers, we left the main building and began our trek across the campus lawn. I searched my head valiantly for a different topic – just because one beautiful girl tried to kill me didn't mean they all would.

"So how did you end up so chummy with Gremory-senpai in the first place, Himejima-senpai? I don't think I've heard anyone use just her first name before."

"Hmm, isn't that just because people would have to talk to you in the first place for you to hear about it?"

Critical hit! She was so easy to talk to that I'd dropped my barrier and left my glowing weak spot wide open! She'd visited my classroom first to look for me, that meant she actually knew about me.

And anyone who knew anything about me knew I was a friendless loser.

"Or is that perhaps your way of asking me to do the same to you, hmm, Ha-chi-ma-n?" She was teasing me again. Even I wasn't dumb enough not to see that she took great delight in getting me worked up.

For as perfect as she looked, her personality was nearly as rotten as mine.

That said, wow. It was so much different hearing your name come from a girl your age than from your parents. Caught in the moment, I took the time to really look at the girl known as Himejima Akeno.

And really, "perfect" was truly the only way to describe Himejima-senpai. She was the embodiment of what every lonely, pathetically sad loser virgin envisions when imagining their ideal Japanese woman. I, of course, envisioned no such thing. Imagination is for those too spineless for Google-sama. Uh, not that I would know, the folder Komachi is not to look at upon my death is full of nothing but PreCure images, I swear. I don't even know who Shibuya Kaho is!

Long black hair, shining resplendently in the evening sunlight fell to her almost her ankles from where it was gathered thickly in a high ponytail. Her face was angular and without a single blemish, skin just the right shade of pale that she didn't look sick or delicate, simply a vision invoking thoughts of old nobility; barely accented by make-up as it appeared to be.

As an aside, I longed for the days where being able to detect the amount of makeup on a woman's face was thought to be a myth. Unfortunately, my sister had entered puberty, and as she was too perfect for my parents to scold, any criticisms they might have had on how much or how well she was using the stuff fell upon me. What the hell they expected that to do I have no idea. In the first place, shouldn't you have taught her yourself, my beloved absentee mother?!

This rant is not at all a distraction from the fact that after her face and slender neck lay a buxom bounty that no girl I have ever seen, in person or in files saved in a non-existent folder, could match. I had also not stopped to stare at it. I would never be so blatant. I was merely staring in shock that she has found a blazer and shirt that managed to cover them entirely. Not even the girl in my class with the venereal disease had been able to do that.

Her waist was as small as my sister's, and her hips flared out to complete her hourglass figure. Her legs, long and slender, stretched from beneath her skirt down to the school mandated black socks and white indoor shoes.

Yep, she really was perfect.

Bringing my eyes up to hers after finishing my full body visual inspection I saw tears leaking from the corners of her eyes as she tried to hold herself back from laughing at me.

Let's recap, shall we? A girl had used my first name, whereupon I had then proceeded to ogl- I mean, gape at her in shock. I don't think it was possible to look like a bigger idiot.

"Just go ahead and let it out..." I said in as dead a voice as I could manage.

When she proceeded to collapse under the torrent of humour escaping her lungs I sighed and turned my gaze skyward. Before me was a sight unheard of – Himejima Akeno literally pounding the ground laughing. And I couldn't even enjoy it over the growing desire to just run home and bury my head beneath my pillow.

How long was she planning on laughing for anyway? I could see some of the guys from the Soccer club beginning to talk amongst themselves and point at us.

Please don't be able to recognise my face. I don't want you to waste everyone's time threatening me to stay away from someone I never want to see again.

[-]

Himejima was still battling through fits of giggles as we approached the old school building. Backed against the woods on the edge of town and made of wood, it was a typical two storey affair that could be found at any sufficiently large enough private school in Japan.

That's what anime would have me believe, at any rate.

This old building didn't play host to the torrid lesbian affair of the school president though. At least, I'm pretty sure it didn't.

"Hey, Himejima. How many people do you have in this club of yours, anyway?"

The building seemed well cared for. Much too well for a single club to be expected to have managed. All the roof tiles appeared as though they were still brand new, the wood was freshly lacquered and without fault, and the glass in the windows showed no sign of ever interacting with the surrounding woods – no scratches, no dirt, not even the remains of a leaf caught in the sill.

"Oh? No honorific, Hachiman? My, aren't you the bold one!" Apparently, my idiocy had given her the notion that it was okay to use my name. That or she was determined to tease me using any means possible.

Either way, she hadn't answered my question.

"You didn't answer my question, witch."

"My, my. And now you're giving me a nickname! You move so fast, Hachiman. Is this how you woo women? It's a wonder that they aren't begging after you all day!" She said with a smirk.

How utterly vapid. I give her a 2 out of 10 on Hachiman's Insulting Scale of Sarcasm. I could have done better than that even before I gave up on the foolish ideal of 'youth.' Before my elephantine experience in mocking people in my head, you were but an ant, Himejima Akeno.

Even so, she still didn't answer me, electing instead to simply open the door and gesture for me to follow her in.

Doing so, I didn't get a chance to look around before I saw her vanishing up the stairs leading to the second level.

I hurried up after her, and was just in time to hear a voice call from beyond the door located immediately at the top of the stairs. "Enter."

Himejima opened the door with a flourish of her hand in my direction – presenting me like a prize to those who sat beyond.

Stepping inside, I was immediately caught in the piercing gaze of Rias Gremory's teal eyes. At least, I assumed it was her. Who else in this school had hair that red?

She sat directly in front of the door at a large wooden desk, piled with paperwork, before a large window that looked out over the edge of campus grounds. Yet another person determined to live their life like an anime character, I see.

If Himejima was the epitome of a Japanese beauty, then Gremory was the epitome of a Western one. As it was, however, I'd had enough of being tormented by anyone other than myself for one day, and wasn't going to give them any more opportunities to inflict piercing damage.

It was my turn, and I switched myself into Attack mode.

The best way to prevent yourself from being hurt was to make yourself hated from the word go.

If you expect nothing from them, and they expect nothing from you, then when one of you inevitably fails there's nothing lost but time.

"Alright, let's hear it then. What does the outsider princess and her merry band of sycophants want with me? If you just want to get some kicks in on the crazy kid then hurry up. I have better things to do than waste time pretending to give a crap about you."

With my words I would make myself a monster. A basilisk. With my petrifying glare and potent venom, all would wither before me.

Unfortunately, it seemed my venom wasn't nearly as potent as I'd hoped it to be. Gremory showed no visible reaction, and neither did Himejima as she crossed the room to stand beside her friend.

Lacing her hands in front of her, Gremory simply met my glare with an even gaze. It's not that her placidity scared me, but keeping eye contact was considered rude among us Japanese, so I averted my eyes to stare out the window behind her.

You got a really good view of the girl's lacrosse team practicing from that window.

"Hikigaya-kun," Gremory said. I brought my eyes back to her eyebrows. "I want to offer you an explanation for what happened, as well as apologise."

An apology? This was new. Normally I was the one who had to apologise for being in a girl's presence.

"Unless you're apologising for having Himejima drag me here then I don't really care what you have to say." Still not a single change in expression. My poison wasn't that weak, was it? She must have had a Ribbon equipped under that school uniform of hers.

"Hikigaya-kun, I understand that you are upset and angry, but I would ask that you refrain from saying anything more until you have heard what I have to say."

Whoa. Scary. Too scary. What kind of monster are you? A basilisk?

"Sure thing." I said, cowed.

I scanned my surroundings briefly for a place to sit, but the only seats seemed to be some couches, already filled with spectators, located against the walls. That was fine, standing at attention as I got lectured at was old hat for me.

Ascertaining that I had no bile left to spew in her direction, Gremory began.

"Two days ago, you were stabbed in the stomach and left for dead in the snow." No, I'm pretty sure if that had happened, I'd actually be dead. Please check reality, senpai, I'm just c- "You are not crazy. You did not imagine this situation, nor did you imagine the woman who did such a thing to you."

Was she a mind reader? And wait, did she know something about my imaginary girlfriend?

"Hikigaya-kun, it is my unfortunate duty to inform you that that night, the human being known as Hikigaya Hachiman drew his last breath. He was murdered by a being that he loved. A being who had taken advantage and sick enjoyment out of such a thing to veil herself and her actions for months whilst inside my territory."

"Hold on," I couldn't help myself from cutting in. "Your territory? I know you rich types like to pretend you own the world but that's going a bit far, isn't it?" Or maybe it wasn't. She might have been the daughter of a mob boss for all I knew. In which case I am very sorry for those nasty words I said.

"Yes. Kuoh is my territory. Or to be more exact, it is the territory of my family, and I am its current caretaker." Before I could display my stupidity for the world to see once more, Gremory swiftly moved on. "Unfortunately, we do not know the true identity of your killer, merely suspicions, and certainly no names that can be attached to them. As such, I'm afraid I cannot fulfil your dying wish just yet."

The mob boss princess theory was getting stronger and stronger with every word. As was the likelihood of my bladder releasing itself where I stood.

"My dying wish?" That said, I really couldn't help but ask questions.

"Yes. You summoned me with the last of your will – no doubt enhanced through your Twice Critical. When I arrived before you, you asked me 'Why?' before passing out."

"Hold on, what?" I just couldn't keep my damned mouth shut today. "Summoned? Twice Critical? What kind of chuuni hell are you dragging me into?" We'd gone from crazy to mob boss and back to crazy in the space of less than five minutes. Just my luck, really. Of course the only people who would think to talk to me are the ones crazier than I am.

Ugh, if I'd known that this was how my day was going to go I should have just stayed home this morning.

A look of contrition cross Gremory's face, cracking her cool façade as a blush grew in its place. Himejima was covering her mouth and laughing, again, and off to the sides I heard some kind of noise from our as of yet unidentified spectators.

I should probably rectify that as soon as I got a straight answer for why I was even here.

"Ah, well... you see, Hikigaya-kun..." Gremory seemed to be having some trouble starting.

"Hachiman," Himejima said, instead. I guess she was the sane one that liked to go along with her friend's imagination. I could kind of respect that. Ignoring the wide-eyed look she got from Gremory, she plowed on. "Every single person in this room is a Devil."

So long, respect! I'll pray for your safe journey as you travel down the drains to join faith in society.

Of course, that was when she sprouted a pair of wings.

So did Gremory.

A noise off to the side drew my attention to a handsome blonde and a silver haired loli. They both had wings too.

Looking back at the two women in front of me, I just listened to Gremory in a state of shock.

"It's as Akeno said. We are Devils. That day, you received a flyer from one of our familiars. On it was inscribed a magical circle, which would summon us should you express a strong desire that we could fulfil. When you summoned me, sustained only by your Twice Critical, I heard your wish and I took it upon myself to reincarnate you as a member of my Peerage, so that together we may seek the answer and find justice for your murder."

Every word just gave me more questions. Familiars? Magic circles? Reincarnation? Peerage? And she still hadn't answered what the hell a Twice Critical was. There was so much I wanted, no needed to ask but I still couldn't quite get over the whole "wings" thing.

It was like I'd been sucked into a shitty light novel and just expected to roll with the flow.

While I struggled to form the most pressing question I could – some combination of 'what the fuck,' and 'are you fucking kidding me,' the handsome blonde moved to set a hand on my shoulder. Was that supposed to be comforting?

With him this close to me, I recognised him: Kiba Yuuto, the gentleman ace of the Kendo Club. Between him and the Soccer Club's Hayama I didn't think there were any girls in the first year left for the rest of us to try our luck with impressing. If he really wanted to comfort me, he should've just jumped out the window.

Looking over at the loli, I didn't recognise her. It looked like she was wearing the Middle School uniform though, so I guess I'd have to ask someone. Or just ask Komachi when I get home. I'll go with the latter, since that's more likely to get a straight answer unlike what I've been getting so far from these useless guides to the next life.

With my mind finally reset back to normal operating order, I managed to squeeze out one of my million questions.

"So... I'm a... Devil now? And a member of your... what did you call it? Peerage? Whatever the hell that is. How does that even work?"

Yep, totally back to normal. My voice cracked every second word, but I'm sure that was just puberty having a resurgence.

Gremory nodded her head. "Yes, all High Class devils, like myself, are given at a certain age what we call Evil Pieces." She pulled a red chess piece (a pawn, if I remember the game correctly) from literal thin air. "With these Pieces, we can implant a portion of our power and magic into your soul, transforming it to match ours – thus giving rise to a new Devil. Those who bear our Pieces become our Peerage, servants to the King. That is, the original High Class Devil who reincarnated them.

"Reincarnated Peerage members are automatically ranked as Low Class devils, but also gain the rights and responsibilities of governing pieces of their King's Underworld territory. If they fight well in Rating Games and fulfil enough requests they can rank up to High Class in no time." So to get things straight, I was now a literal servant to a Devil destined to waste my life away catering to their whims and thanklessly managing their land. I also had to fight and play genie. It wasn't quite a slave, but it was also a far worse even than being a salaryman.

"I see. So, I'm now your Servant?" Gremory nodded her head, beaming at me. Why the hell are you so happy? Do you enjoy the suffering of others? Does it bring you a sick sense of glee to tear a person from all they know and love and force them to serve you? How messed up is the rest of your society if this is the bright sparkly stuff you present to the newly indoctrinated.

Gremory rushed to reassure me. "Although you may be called a Servant or a Low Class Devil, you are still much higher placed than a great many other Devils. My family is one of the founding 72 of the Underworld, and we treat our Peerage like family."

Right, so what you're saying is that Devil society sucks so bad that a "Low Class" servant of the nobility is higher in the pecking order than the average citizen. Also, "my family?" That means that to most other families servants are servants, and they're treated as such. You wouldn't need to mention that otherwise.

"And is there a way to return to being human?" I doubted it, but I still felt the need to ask. Given the troubled look that crossed her and Himejima's faces, I knew the answer before they bothered to respond. If there was one, they weren't telling me. "Never mind. In that case, what happens to someone who runs away or stops obeying their ma- King?"

If I thought the look they gave me about returning to normal was troubled, this one was like their dog was about to be run over by a limo. Gremory tapped Himejima on her shoulder and motioned towards the corner to her left. I tracked Himejima with my eyes as she moved towards it, and saw a tea set. How quaint.

"In such a situation," Gremory hesitantly said. "Such a Devil would be declared a Stray. And an order would be issued to all territory holders proclaiming the need for their capture and return or their elimination, depending on the degree of their disobedience, and any crimes they may commit."

In other words, serve or die.

Go back to hell, damn you.

I stared around the room, seeing everything but taking in nothing as I tried to find something, anything to steer my mind away from the swelling tide of dark emotion that threatened to ruin my life more than it already was. It would do me no good to lash out and get myself branded a 'Stray' so soon. I just needed to swallow my feelings and act as if everything was fine.

It must have been a day ending in 'Y'.

The silence ended when Himejima came bearing a tray loaded with cups of tea. She tried to present a cup to me, but I waved her off. The longer I stayed here the easier it would be for me to screw up. In which case, going home was my best option. Which meant I needed to finish this conversation. And to do that...

"Gremory... you said you wanted to apologise for something. What was it?"

"You're right, I did." She smiled gently at Himejima as a cup of tea was placed in front of her. "I wanted to apologise for the delay in bringing you here and explaining things. I thought it best to give you some time to come to terms with what happened, but I didn't anticipate the degree to which those events had affected you. I deeply apologise for the harm my inaction caused you."

Or, in more accurate terms, you hadn't realised that when the boy with no friends wakes up thinking the only person who cared about him tried to kill him, he'd have a public meltdown. And now that I did, you're sorry that your own reputation is about to be dragged down when you get caught associating with me.

"It's fine. My reputation was already bad, and it's not like I have any friends that'll worry over me or anything. By the time everyone comes back from break it'll be old news."

"That's not..." Gremory started, but cut herself off with a sigh. "Hikigaya-kun, I know that I've dumped a lot of information on you, and I'm sure you have plenty of questions still, but I want you to know that from now on, every person in this room is your friend. So long as we live, I promise you, you'll never feel alone again."

The smile she gave me was almost as bright as the sun. It was one mirrored by Kiba next to me. Himejima grinned at me from where she was serving tea to the loli, and the loli herself was giving me a small smile.

Seriously, what kind of shitty light novel had I found myself in. An isekai without being an isekai, where the loner MC is gifted his aspirations for friends on a silver platter in the form of a harem of girls and a handsome best friend. I'm sure this is the part where I'm supposed to revoke my loner ways and give in to the beautiful bonds of friendship bound to flourish in this brand new world.

I nodded at Gremory and left.

What a load of bullshit.

If this were a light novel, my days ahead would be full of fun, friendship and fighting. I'd be able to look over the fact that I was a servant with a smile because I was with people who cared about me. I'd accept my new life as a Devil, and become a playboy with a hundred and one girls drooling over me but unable to commit to anything beyond hand holding.

But life isn't a light novel, and no one cares about me. I was a servant, one that would be killed if I even tried to rebel. There were no girls drooling over me, and I wasn't about to become a playboy.

Gremory wanted me to believe there was no becoming a human again.

And maybe there wasn't.

Gremory believed turning me into a Devil was the only way I'd find out 'why?'

And maybe it was.

It didn't matter. The human Hikigaya Hachiman supposedly died two days ago, but I wouldn't let him. Even if it was only a half life, I would cling to the humanity that remained embedded in my mind.

I'd play along with being a devil for now. But I wasn't going to play nice.