Author's Notes:
Hi everyone! I told you ages ago I was working on a one-shot and it's finally done! I found a prompt again on tumblr and decided to flesh the idea out and see how it would go. I hope you all like it!
If you haven't already, and you like this one-shot, please be sure to check out my series, Ignoring Destiny. It currently has 52 chapters and is still in progress.
Also, please be sure to like and review this story! Your reviews are so encouraging and bring a smile to my face! Miss you all!
Presenting: The Marauder's Map
Fred and George Weasley once again found themselves sitting in Filch's office after having set off yet another dung bomb. They listened to his usual dronings about hanging them from their thumbs in the dungeons and whipping them bloody with bored looks on their faces. They had only been at Hogwarts for two months but they were quick to learn that Filch's lines never changed and his mutterings were something they could tune out.
They were becoming better at not being caught while pulling their little pranks. This was only their first time this month, a new personal record. But they didn't mind being caught too much because they saw it as a way to grow their notoriety. The Weasley name was quickly becoming associated with pranks, fun, and innovation. Sure, their pranks made things difficult for their older siblings, mostly Percy, but they didn't care. They knew that pranking and inventions were was they were going to do after they graduated so why not start as early as they possibly could? And, really, Filch deserved the smell they assaulted his nose with this afternoon. They were more upset that they were caught than they were about having set the bombs off.
This was, however, their first time in Filch's office. The few other times they had been caught over the last two months Filch had taken them to McGonagall rather than try to deal with them himself. This time he seemed more upset than he had previously—probably because this was a personal attack on him rather than a harmless prank geared towards the general populace.
Fred drooped over slightly in his chair as the boredom intensified and Filch rifled through his desk for what he called "the proper forms". Whatever that meant.
George took the opportunity to assess the area around them, trying to keep himself occupied. Not much in Filch's office was worth noting. That is, until he laid eyes on the silver filing cabinet tucked away in the corner of the room. He could see labels on the drawers and leaned forward in an attempt to read them.
"Sit still!" Filch snapped as he looked up from his desk, "Or I'll hang you by your toes until you're begging for your mummy," he added with a twisted, toothy grin.
George rolled his eyes and crossed his arms so that his elbow grazed Fred's upper arm. When he saw Filch look away, he gently nudged Fred and used his chin to indicate the cabinet to their left. From the corner of his eye he saw Fred nod a fraction of an inch.
"Setting off a dung bomb right under my nose," Filch mumbled as he wrote on the parchment on his desk, "I think this calls for a detention. I'll ask Professor McGonagall to let me assign it, yes I will. You two have been up to no good since you set foot in this school and I think it's time we taught you a lesson."
"Aren't we taught lessons every day in classes?" Fred asked cheekily.
"You miserable—"
"Careful, Filch. You wouldn't want to say anything rude to a student. You could get in trouble," George added.
"You two are slowly becoming worse than Peeves. I'll have a word with Professor McGonagall."
"Peeves? Ah we love Peeves!"
"Lovely gentleman if you ask me."
"Didn't we see him writing swears on the chalkboard in the charms classroom, Georgie?"
"I believe we did, Freddy. He even used my favorite one—Twa—"
"Peeves!" Filch shrieked before standing up from his desk, "You two, out! Get out of my office! I'll catch him I swear I will."
Fred and George hurried out of Filch's office and dashed around the corner. They waited a few moments to be sure he was gone before speaking.
"What do you think is in there, George?"
"Dunno—it said 'Extremely Dangerous'. I'm thinking something interesting and we should definitely break into. What do you say?"
"I say that 'Extremely Dangerous' is my middle name," Fred said smoothly with a wicked grin on his face.
The two boys quietly crept back towards Filch's office and pulled out their wands. They looked around before trying the door knob.
"Locked," George said defeatedly, "And we haven't learned how to do the unlocking charm yet. Did you bring your lock pick?"
Fred nodded, "Stand guard. If anyone comes by let me know and we'll run."
George nodded and stood in front of Fred, his wand out and at the ready.
Fred carefully slipped the lock picking tools into the small space on the door handle and began feeling around for the weights. He had managed to find the first one when George kicked him in the leg and they had to run. Mrs. Norris had come back around the corner which meant that Filch wouldn't be far behind. Clearly he had found out that they were lying when they had said that Peeves was in the Charms classroom.
The two boys dashed down the hallway and through a tapestry that connected to a hidden passage way that would lead them back down to the entrance hall. The ran out onto the polished marble, out of breath and sweating profusely. They looked at each other as they were doubled over—they knew that this endeavor would require a carefully constructed, well thought-out plan.
Fred and George spent the next week carefully planning and scheming about how they would manage to break into Filch's office so they could have a look in the filing cabinet. They felt like they had thought of everything, including possibly attempting to vanish an entire staircase! Then they quickly realized that that sort of magic was simply too advanced for them at this age. They did, however, file that prank away for a future date, hoping to one day have the capabilities of pulling it off.
Eventually they settled on the display that would, unbeknownst to them, grant them access to the office and, thereby, the filing cabinet.
It hadn't taken Fred and George long to come to the realization that Peeves was a wealth of information and ideas and they had quickly befriended the poltergeist, often seeking his counsel on plots and plans they had. And, once they determined how much they wanted access to the cabinet, they called upon their new friend for assistance. He was more than willing to lead Filch on a wild goose chase around the castle—in the name of pranking, of course.
It was that Tuesday that Fred and George set their plan into motion. Just as lunch was beginning, Fred casually walked by a floating Peeves, who was throwing bits of chalk at some of the students who passed by him, and gave him a long wink before continuing up the stairs and down the hall. Peeves immediately grinned in excitement and zoomed down to the floor below to the potions corridor where he set off nearly a hundred dungbombs in one, synchronized move.
The ensuing explosion could be heard throughout the entire castle. The stench leaked up from the dungeons and into the Great Hall where the majority of the castle was innocently eating their lunch. The smell moved slowly, over coming the students closest to the door first and the head table last. Everyone in the path of the fumes gagged and coughed at the stench. A few students heaved their lunches onto the floor.
Filch could hear Peeves cackling gleefully in the dungeons as he ran toward the sound, "Peeves! I'll get you this time, I will!"
George snickered as he watched the ends of Filch's coat flit around the corner and out of sight. He quickly turned and dashed back up the staircase and waived to Fred at the end of the hall, "Do it now Gred!"
Fred nodded back and dashed around the corner, leaving George as look out. As he ran, Fred pulled a small black container from his pocket and quickly opened it. As he skidded to a stop in front of Filch's office door he pulled out two silver instruments and slipped them into the lock on the knob. Fred carefully moved the instruments until he heard the satisfying click of the lock turning.
"Yes!" Fred quickly slipped into the office, closed the door behind him, and rushed to the cabinet.
Inside of the drawer Fred found a treasure trove of confiscated objects. Knowing he only had minutes before Filch's return, he grabbed what he thought was the most interesting object within the drawer; seemingly blank pieces of folded parchment. Fred knew from his dad that many objects such as books and paper are known to conceal interesting things like mysterious spells, stories, and directions. And if this parchment was in the drawer, it must contain something incredibly interesting.
Fred snatched the parchment and shoved it into his robe pocket as he slammed the drawer closed. On his way out of the office, he twisted the lock and latched it behind him. After testing the knob, and was satisfied that it was locked, he ran back to George, a grin plastered on his face.
"You got in? Brilliant! Come on then, what'd you get?"
Fred glanced around and grabbed George by the arm and drug him back to the Gryffindor common room. Once they were safely inside Fred pulled the parchment from his pocket and held it out to George.
George frowned and took the parchment and examined it, "There's nothing on here. Why'd you grab this?"
"Come off it Georgie. Why would Filch take this if it weren't important? There's got to be something more to it and we can figure that out!"
"I don't know Fred," George said as he examined the parchment more closely and poked his wand at it, "It just seems like a blank piece of parchment."
Fred raised an eyebrow and pointed where George's wand was touching it, "Still think that?"
George's eyes widened. On the front of the paper calligraphic handwriting was being inked onto the page by some invisible source. When it was done writing, Fred read it aloud.
Messer Prongs would like to tell Messer's Weasley and Weasley that this is, indeed, not a blank piece of parchment and that they shouldn't stick their noses where they don't belong.
"Who's Prongs? And why's he such an arse? Doesn't he know what we went through to get this parchment?" Fred asked, annoyed.
The twins watched as the writing disappeared and, where George's wand was, new writing appeared.
Messer Padfoot says that perhaps Messer's Weasley and Weasley should go about doing their assignments like good little first years.
Messer Moony would like to add that, maybe in a few years, Messer's Weasley and Weasley will be mature enough for a parchment of this quality and importance. Until then, they should return it to the rightful owners.
George snorted, "There are no 'rightful owners'. We pilfered this parchment from Filch. What is this thing on about?"
"Dunno, Georgie. Maybe it's worthless?"
Messer Prongs is hurt and betrayed by your words—he argues this parchment is the most important object created in the entirety of Hogwarts history.
"If it's so great then why does it keep turning blank? Seems like a old piece of rubbish to me," Fred retorted.
Messer Padfoot says to shut your whore mouth and to stop discussing topics that you know nothing about. Go drink your milk, child.
"Hey! This 'child' pulled one of the best pranks in the history of Hogwarts to nick this rubbish from Filch's filing cabinet. You shut your whore mouth."
Messer Padfoot is intrigued and would like to hear more about the mischief involved in procuring the parchment.
"Maybe if you apologize," George scalded.
Messer Wormtail apologizes on behalf of Messer Padfoot. He really enjoys eating his own foot.
George grinned, "That's better! Well, we had Peeves set off about a hundred dungbombs to distract Filch. And, while he was distracted we went into his office and nicked this parchment. Maybe we should have grabbed something else, though."
Messer Moony is pleased to hear you managed your mischief. He would like to add that Filch is a sneaky git and his cat is no better than he is. But he assures you that this parchment is not rubbish as it holds one of the biggest secrets and pranking assistant in all of Hogwarts.
Messer Prongs says he agrees with Messer Moony and that, they should know, as they created it themselves.
"Filch is the worst!" Fred cried, "Can you tell us what this parchment is if it's so great?"
Messer Wormtail says that he can't reveal the true nature of the document until a promise is made.
"What sort of promise?" George asked suspiciously, "We don't know you and we don't make promises lightly."
Messer Padfoot would like to say that the promise is to create as much mischief as possible. He would love the opportunity to assist the next generation in managing the mischief.
"Why do you keep going on about mischief? Is there some sort of password?"
Messer Prongs says there is indeed a password.
"I promise to pull pranks!" Fred cried as he pointed his wand at the parchment.
Messer Wormtail says that Messer Weasley is close in his word choice. He suggests that swearing might produce better results.
"I fucking promise to cause mischief," George said, laughing.
Messer Moony says there's no need for crass language. Solemnly swearing would be sufficient.
"I solemnly swear to keep pulling pranks?" Fred questioned.
Messer Prongs says you're getting warmer. He asks if you would say that you're up to something—as that greasy haired git, Snivellus says.
"Up to something?" George asked, "What's that mean? It's a clue, right?"
"Got to be. Er—I solemnly swear that I'm up to pranking?"
Messer Padfoot says that that's no good.
"No good?" Fred asked.
"Do you mean we're up to no good?" George asked, "Course we're not. We're trying to break into the secrets of this parchment, aren't we?"
Messer Wormtail says you're definitely up to no good and the Marauders are all for this mischief. Messer Moony says you need to swear by it.
"Er—" George said, "I solemnly swear that…I'm up to no good?"
Messer's Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs congratulate you on discovering their secrets and present to you, The Marauder's Map!
"What in the bloody hell is a Marauder's Map?" George asked as he examined the parchment. George carefully unfolded one of the sections of paper, revealing a display of rooms, stairwells, and tiny, moving, feet.
"What're those?" Fred asked as he used his wand to point at the little footprints. Then, at the top of the page, scrawled handwriting appeared.
Messer Prongs says if you ask you shall receive!
Messer Moony says the footprints represent individuals in the castle. If you look at the page displaying the Gryffindor Common room you will find your footprints situated by the fireplace as you are right now.
Fred and George's mouths dropped open, "Merlin's pants!" they shouted in unison as Fred scoured the parchment for the Gryffindor common room.
It didn't take them long to locate the common room and, once they did, they immediately found their feet situated at the fireplace, exactly where they were in real life.
Fred looked up at George, a grin on his face, "Do you know what this means, George?"
"We know where everyone inside Hogwarts is, all the time, whenever we want," George said mischievously, "I wonder what other secrets this map shows us."
Messer Padfoot would like you to head to the third floor and carefully examine the statue of the humpbacked, one-eyed witch. He believes you will find that an interesting experience.
"Bugger, now we have to go!" Fred exclaimed.
"Already out the portrait hole, Freddy boy!" George called from the other end of the room, one foot out of the hole.
Fred and George quietly and surreptitiously approached the statue that Messer Padfoot had indicated in his note to them. As they walked up, they glanced around excitedly, seeing only the darkness of the corridor around them. As Fred looked around, he frowned. He couldn't see what was so interesting about this corridor. He glanced over at George and saw that he had a similar feeling about the situation.
"What do you think, Georgie?"
"Dunno. Seems like they were yanking our wands."
"Let's ask them, then," they said at the same time.
Fred pulled the parchment out of his pocket, the map still displayed on the browning folds. He pointed his wand at the page and asked, "So, Messer's all of you, why did you bring us here?"
Messer Padfoot says to stop being impatient twits and to open the map and look at the corridor.
Messer Moony says that the map will tell you all the secrets you'll ever want to know.
The twins grinned at each other and then riffled through the parchment until they found where they were looking for. As they looked at the map, their mouths dropped open. There, on the page, was their little footprints standing in front of the statue. Only now, there was a little speech bubble protruding from each print saying, "Dissendium."
"Shall we, Georgie?"
"After you, Freddy!"
Fred pulled out his wand and tapped the witch's hump, "Dissendium," he said softly.
They watched in excitement as the stone statue opened up, revealing a hidden stairwell leading deep under the castle. They looked at each other, not saying a word, before stepping into the darkness.
Fred and George walked for what seemed like an hour, check in the map as they went. They were surprised when, all of a sudden, they disappeared off the map entirely. Unsure of where they were going, but excited at the prospect of finding out, they made haste and ran the last few steps up to what seemed to be the exit.
George carefully pushed on the trap door and peeked inside the mysterious room and frowned, "All I see are a bunch of boxes and crates."
"Well, go in, George. We can't wait all day!"
George and Fred carefully crept out of the trapdoor and hid behind a pile of boxes. As they waited to see if anyone would come, George recognized the inscription on one of the boxes next to them. He quickly elbowed Fred, pointed, and whispered, "I think we're inside Honeydukes!"
Fred carefully reached inside the open box and pulled out a handful of sugar quills and grinned, "We are indeed!"
After putting several goodies in their pockets, leaving a galleon on the floor where the owner would surely find it and assume it was dropped accidentally, they made their way back to the castle, happily eating their treats.
As they walked, they talked to each other, discussing the many uses of the Marauder's Map. They determined that it must have all of the secrets of Hogwarts hidden in its pages. They wondered aloud how many secret passages out of the castle there were and where they all went.
As they reached the common room again, this time fuller than earlier, they dashed up to their dormitory and pulled the curtains shut on Fred's bed.
"So," George asked as he looked at the map, "How do you think we wipe it clean again?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, when we found it, it was blank, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, so?"
"So, how do we make it blank again? If we get caught with a map of the school that shows where everyone is, it'll get confiscated right away, won't it."
"Too true, Georgie. Ok, so, Prongs, Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail, any advice?" Fred asked the map.
The twins watched as writing appeared at the top of the paper. Five words written by Messer Moony.
Have you managed your mischief?
Fred and George grinned at each other as Fred tapped the parchment with his wand and said, "Mischief managed," and wiped the parchment clean once more.
