You know your life ain't normal when you're being interrogated whilst looking after a dangerous plant.

"I heard you and Al got into a bit of a spat the other night," Scorpius said, gently pushing away a branch of the Venomous Tentacula that had tried to creep up on him. It was a lovely Friday afternoon, likely one of the last few such afternoons we would be seeing at Hogwarts for a long while. The Seventh Year Herbology class were enjoying the wonderful weather in Greenhouse Seven, each pair assigned to tend to a Venomous Tentacula. This was Professor Longbottom's way of "easing us back into the new year".

I gingerly fed the beast of a shrub a Chizpurfle. One of its tentacles slithered in my direction, taking the crab-like parasite from my gloved fingers. Even through the thick dragonhide, I could feel the bloody plant try and take my fingers, too, the greedy thing. I snatched my fingers away, shaking my hand to rid it of the feeling of the Tentacula's ghostly tickle.

"I bloody hate these plants," I muttered.

"I bloody hate Herbology," Scorpius added mildly. After a chance pairing back in Second Year, we'd decided that our mutual dislike for the subject was, in fact, an excellent basis for a fruitful partnership in Herbology – pardon the pun. We'd partnered together ever since, if our class schedules allowed it.

"But you're avoiding my question," Scorpius continued in that same mild tone. One of the things I loved about Scorpius Malfoy was his even way of speaking. He was always so calm and steady. His presence in our friendship group was very soothing. "What were you and Al arguing about this time?"

"It wasn't my fault!" I cried, mixing some dragon manure into the potting mix in a larger pot for the Tentacula. Hopefully, Scorpius would take one for the team, and uproot the plant for its new, bigger home. I would happily jinx the insufferable plant to stillness as backup. "He was convinced I was up to something in the library! All I wanted was a book!"

Scorpius raised his eyebrows. "You were in the Restricted Section, though."
"Yes! Looking for a book! Since when is that a crime?"

"True," Scorpius conceded. "I wish I was as brave as you to get an empty permission slip signed," he sighed.

I gave him a look. "Don't you have unrestricted access because you're the co-leader of a student group designed by faculty to police us?"

"Don't be so dramatic, Ellie," Scorpius replied, quite unimpressed by joke/social commentary. Admittedly, it wasn't all that inflammatory, this particular hot take.

"I have to be if Potter runs to you and Rose, tattling about all my misdemeanours," I huffed.

"He didn't tattle. And he didn't call it a misdemeanour, either. He was just annoyed because of your argument."

"It was totally uncalled for, Scorpius!" I screeched, sprinkling some water crystals into the potting mix, and going at it with my trowel. "I hadn't even broken curfew! And he accused me of hiding something!"

Scorpius sighed. "It does sound like this was partly on him, but you didn't have to rise to the bait." He fed our ravenous Tentacula a few more Chizpurfles, trying to coax it into a better mood before we'd have to put it through the indignity of a repotting. We would then come back in a couple of weeks and harvest its much larger leaves for potions. And Professor Longbottom's story about how he chucked these plants at Death Eaters in the Battle of Hogwarts always made that class more fun.

"I was defending my honour!"

Scorpius rolled his eyes, and muttered, "Gryffindors and their honour!"

"I heard that," I said, but I couldn't help the smile on my face. Us Gryffindors could be a little ridiculous about our honour, at times. I liked to think I was above such House stereotypes, but I guess over six years hanging out in Gryffindor Tower had infected me with a little of that infamous Gryffindor pride.

"Why was Potter so pissed off?" I couldn't help but ask. It wasn't as if I cared, or anything. But maybe it'd offer me a little ammunition in the future. You could never be too prepared when it came to battle against your arch-nemesis.

Scorpius shrugged, pushing up the sleeves of his robes in preparation. He gave his gloves an extra tug, to make sure they were secure. I turned around to face the Tentacula front on, a Severing Charm at the ready, should it become necessary. "You two always know how to piss each other off. Al's hardly ever annoyed – except when it comes to you," he paused and gave me a sideways glance.

I narrowed my eyes at him and pointed at the Venomous Tentacula. "Stop avoiding the situation, Scorpius."

"You must see that he likes you," he said, before taking a deep, fortifying breath. I rolled my eyes, even as I did the same thing. Scorpius had this ridiculous theory that Potter had a crush on me, or whatever.

"He doesn't," I insisted, shooting the first Severing Charm at the plant as Scorpius pulled it out of its existing pot. Its mouth opened in a silent scream, putting all its fangs on view. I shoved the bigger pot in Scorpius' direction, even as I sent off another charm, causing another tentacle to fall away to the ground. I was careful not to hack off all its branches – just the ones that were coming alarmingly close to strangling Scorpius. "He's always so mean to me."

"You're mean right back," Scorpius replied, shoving the plant into the specially prepared dirt. I quickly shovelled more dirt over its exposed roots, in the hopes of quelling its ire.

"Well done, Ellie and Scorpius!" Professor Longbottom called out from a few tables away, where he was helping Rose and her Hufflepuff partner with the pH of their newly potted Tentacula soil. "A very smooth repotting! Five points each to Gryffindor and Ravenclaw!" He didn't even look behind him as he swatted away a branch that had been aiming for his upper arm. Who knew that those Auror skills would come in handy teaching a bunch of teenagers about plants?

"I think it's just a way of hiding his true feelings for you," Scorpius said sagely. I gave him a dirty look. One successful repotting of a Venomous Tentacula, and he thought it made him some sort of psychoanalyst. There were no limits to the male ego, really.

"We're not eight, where when a boy punches you, it actually means he's madly in love with you," I countered. "One can only hope that as a gender, boys learn to express their emotions more clearly and in a positive way. This masculine bullshit about not knowing how to show love or whatever is not on."

Scorpius nodded. "I agree with you, Ellie. It's not great that you guys argue every time you talk. You should both think about being a little more patient with each other."

I hated it when Scorpius talked sense. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I realised that Potter and I couldn't go on like this. I knew that it put a lot of stress on our friends at times, even though they all usually ignored us, putting it down as "banter" – or in Scorpius' case, "those crazy kids". I'd thought that maybe we could just push through it, the way things were, until the end of the year. Once we graduated, and started leading our adult lives, surely it would be easier to avoid Potter, even though we were still neighbours. And then, because we wouldn't be forced to see each other every single day, we'd develop the maturity to be civil for the short and infrequent periods of time we had to be in the same space.

But maybe it was time to swallow the bitter pill and face the fact that we couldn't wait to be mature adults until after graduation. We might have to start working on it now. That was an annoying prospect, to say the least.

"I hate it when you're right," I muttered. "But you should tell all of this to Potter, too." It wouldn't be fair if I had to do all the emotional and intellectual work on myself, whilst he continued to be a horrible human being.

"I already did," Scorpius replied. This time, his mild tone of voice was tinged with smugness. "When he was complaining about you the other evening. Rose and I gave him a right earful about being more tolerant and mature." I was rather impressed. Knowing Rose, she would've even pulled out the "for the good of our friendship group" card. Rose Granger-Weasley could be as cunning as the best of them, when she wanted to be. I wondered if her guilt trips were something she'd learnt because her mother was a politician, or if it was because she was secretly a Slytherin.

"Speaking of Rose," I said slyly.

Scorpius immediately reddened. God, it could be so easy to yank their chains. Sometimes, all it took was mentioning their names to the other, and they'd both blush like Regency wallflowers at Almack's.

Scorpius cleared his throat and tugged at his gloves again in obvious nervousness. "What – what about Rose?" he stammered out.

I resisted the urge to cackle with glee. "Have you asked her out, yet?"

"What? No! Of course not!" he spluttered.

I put down my trowel and levitated the watering can over to our Tentacula. Keeping one keen eye on the beastly shrub as I watered it, I asked Scorpius, "Why not? You're both working so closely together this year. This is the perfect chance!"

"Because – we're just friends!" Scorpius continued to splutter. "And keep your voice down – Rose might hear you!"

I rolled my eyes. "Relax, lover boy. She's busy trying to stop their Tentacula from strangling Mae."

Scorpius gave me a disgruntled look. "Seriously, we're just friends."

"Come on, Scorpius. You guys have liked each other for ages! What's stopping you both from going for it?"

"You're going to overwater the Tentacula."

"Stop avoiding the subject!"

Scorpius shrugged. "I guess we don't want a romantic relationship between us affecting the friendship group."

I let the watering can drop to the bench with a clatter. "Oh, my God! You guys have talked about a romantic relationship? Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't Rose tell me?"

"Because it's a private matter between us," he sniffed primly.

"Oh, shove off, Malfoy," I said. His upper-class, Pureblood upbringing chose the worst times to rear its head. "If you're worried about how a romantic relationship between you and Rose is going to affect the friendship group, I can tell you right now – it's going to affect it very positively."

Scorpius narrowed his eyes at me, but his expression was mostly thoughtful. "How do you know that?" Scorpius Malfoy, ever the Ravenclaw. Always looking for corroborating evidence.

"Because Chris and I have talked about it heaps, and we totally ship you! And I've been encouraging the woman in question to give you a kick up the backside, and just ask you out already."

Scorpius raised his eyebrows. "I think you're missing someone very important."

"Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say that Potter is very important –"

"He's your brother's best friend! And your other best friend's cousin!"

"Doesn't make him very important," I muttered, setting the watering can the right way up. Scorpius began to tidy up all the soil and manure, as I added a few drops of a potion to a soil sample from the new pot I'd gotten earlier. The sample turned a bright green, meaning that it was too alkaline for the Tentacula's liking. Noting the colour change, Scorpius helpfully passed me the tub of iron sulphate, the aqua crystals sparkling in the bright afternoon sun. Despite how much we both hated this subject, we'd both decided that it was likely going to be helpful in our future careers, whatever they may be. And if we were in it together, things wouldn't be so bad. Plus, we'd still get to see Professor Longbottom regularly, who was by far one of the coolest teachers we had.

"But I get your point," I sighed, sprinkling the crystals around the base of the Tentacula. This time, Scorpius helpfully Severed any frisky branches. "If you want, I can even ask him about it, the next time I see him." I made a face at the prospect, but I was so heavily invested in the Scorose ship, that I'd even go such lengths as to speak civilly with my arch-nemesis.

"You look so constipated at the thought," Scorpius remarked.

"But," I continued, ignoring what he'd just said, "You have to promise me that you'll ask Rose out for the next Hogsmeade trip." Professor Longbottom had posted up the schedule for planned Hogsmeade visits for the year in our Common Room the day before. The first one was coming up in just a few short weeks.

"Can't promise you that," Scorpius replied.

"Why not?" I asked, a little indignant. "I'm going to take your advice and try and have a conversation – and not an argument – with Potter –" Unless he disagreed about Rose and Scorpius dating. "– And the least you could do is fulfil all my hopes and dreams of having my two best friends date each other."

"First off, I don't think the only thing you and Al can talk about is Rose and me –"

"It just might be," I interrupted. We also had Chris in common, but I couldn't think of any current concerns I had about my brother that I could discuss with Potter. Especially since I didn't really care all that much about his opinions. This was all just about making sure that Rose and Scorpius lived happily ever after. Together. For forever and ever.

"– And secondly," he continued, very pointedly ignoring my interruption. "I won't be able to ask Rose out to the next Hogsmeade weekend."

"Why the fuck not?" I huffed. How many obstacles were there on the road to true love? And how many of them were in fact self-sabotage? The answer in Rose and Scorpius' case seemed to be a fucking lot.

"Because Rose has already asked me out to the next Hogsmeade weekend," Scorpius replied. He was outright smug this time.

"Damn, son!" I said, giving him a friendly punch on the shoulder. "You two have really been holding out on me! I am so glad Rose had the sense to take some initiative on this!"

Scorpius blushed again, still reminding me of some of the heroines from the Regency romance novels I loved so much. "Yeah, Rose is pretty great."

"So, you were the one to bring up the whole how-will-this-affect-our-friends thing? You were the one to hex yourselves in the foot?"

Scorpius made a face but nodded in agreement. "But Rose agrees. We've decided that it's probably best if we just remain friends."

"Oh, my God, Scorpius. If it takes me marrying Potter to get you and Rose to go on this date, I'll fucking do it."

Scorpius looked at me as if I were deranged. Pretty fair, considering what I'd just committed myself to. "That's… a little extreme."

"I'd do anything for my friends – even if it means entering a marriage of convenience with my arch-nemesis."

Scorpius smiled as he filled up our watering can with his wand. Yes, we really were too lazy to go to the tap, which was only a few feet away from where we were sitting. "I appreciate the sentiment," he said.

"Thank you," I replied, beaming in return. I'd meant every word of it.

"But you really need to read fewer historical romances," he continued. "It's giving you a very skewed way of handling conflict."

AN: Hello, again! Here is another instalment of Not Normal! This story has (some) momentum! I hope you enjoy this bonding session between Ellie and Scorpius. I really enjoy writing their relationship. And Scorpius is just the best, honestly. I would love all the feedback you have, as always. It's the fire that fuels my writing.

Once again, a huge thank you to my beta reader Paula (crowsb4bros) who is just so patient and wonderful.

Adios, amigos! :D