Welcome back!
I had a lot of the last arc mapped out, so I had a perfect composition in mind for like, how long the arc would be, which chapters would contain what (well I didn't expect Layke to get kidnapped originally, but once that happened, I thought of putting in his POV, I decided he'd need to have a segment every other chapter) and etc.
For this story, I'm like... well I think I know how it ends, unless things develop separately. Well I... I have 2 ideas for the ending. W-We'll see.
That's kind of the fun of these. I know, but I don't actually know xD
anyways it's FILLOMA TIME
Chapter 12: Solidarity
Upon wakening in my cocoon of blankets, I glance over and nearly bump into the closely-peering face of N. Squeaking, I scoot backwards and struggle my very hardest not to fall right off the cot and land, a pile of my own incompetence, on the tile floor. When I sense his long, warm hand guide along my back, nudging me away from the edge, I bite my lip and do not muster the courage to thank him.
Profuse midday light shimmers in through the high Pokemon Center walls. Marlun found us a room on the top floor of the center when we finally arrived at close to four in the morning, and the both of us immediately claimed and passed out in the two open beds, leaving the untouched couch for the boy to sleep in.
The blankets lie undisturbed over the cushions.
I see now that N perhaps did not.
My insides heat up, uncomfortably warm. If he's some sort of sick pervert—we left everything out for him to take. Frantically I force a hand out of my blanket-nest and reach down for my bag; N dutifully grabs it with his cursed long arms and hands it to me, a faint smile pocketed in his lip. I don't meet his eyes and tear into it, rummaging through the undisturbed contents, then scowl and toss it to the ground.
His mouth purses. "What did you want it for?"
"I—" I look at it, lying there, a crumpled mass wedged between his legs. He's sitting in the one desk chair of the room, having turned it around to face my bed. "I was worried you had stolen something while Marlun and I slept." Her snores vibrate from the bed crammed against the wall.
The couch remains an unanswered question between us. I glance over to N, and his cheeks flush. "Oh I... r-right. I haven't seen you in so long, after all." He manages a weak chuckle. "Now... why would I steal from you, Shay? You're my...
"I don't... know what you are to me anymore... just that you're infinitely important. I just... I just wanted to watch over you last night and make sure you were okay. I overheard you and your friend, talking about how you had never left your new home before.
"I just wanted to keep you safe."
"W-Why?" I squeak over the fluttering in my stomach. "I don't even remember you! A-And please stop calling me by that name! It's Filloma now. I changed it for a reason."
"What is that reason?" His eyes follow me, large and blue and awash in confusion.
Grimacing, I plow through my blankets and manage a sitting position. I brush down my dress with hot, flustered hands. Oh, the last thing I want is him to see any more of me. "Your father. Ghet..." I swallow. "He ruined the name for everybody, and that everybody includes you."
"Oh." His voice is small, forlorn. "You're afraid of my father, aren't you?"
What a question. He discerns from my most certainly annoyed eyes that he must be close to the truth and asks, "Well... why? He taught me everything he knows, Sha—Filloma. I'm the king of our people, and I learned how to rule from him. He's the reason I treat my pokemon friends kindly and... knew how to be kind to you, when he brought you home."
As he speaks, a coiling snake curls up my throat and squeezes, harder, harder, pressurizing the fragments of memories, jagged splotches of dark color that I cannot quite make out. The pressure only makes them blurrier, harder to focus on, harder to ascertain.
This of course means it can only get worse.
"Filloma... he treated you better than everyone else. Don't you recall?"
I'm shaking, I'm shaking and this idiot doesn't even see it. Swallowing, I mutter, "No, not really." My fingers furl into fists, clutching at my blanket. "Would I have left if I didn't want to leave?"
"Oh. Oh, I suppose that would make sense..." His brow furrows and head dips, pondering this addendum to whatever atrocity he'd considered our shared reality. His soft voice, his slow gaze—it's...
somewhere deep in my heart, there's this aching when I stare into him, even as he says the very last words I want to hear...
I release a sharp breath. "It was years ago, either way. I don't remember everything. I don't even remember you, n-not really."
Not what he wants me to remember.
"Maybe it's because you aren't letting yourself remember," he offers, his gaze leaping into mine, his mesmerizing eyes snatching hold of me. His hands outstretch, close to my blanket, nearing my own, but he lets the space remain between us and does not dare cross the silent barrier.
I shift in my covers, and a spell breaks; he backs away, leaving room for me to shimmy out of bed and stride over to Marlun's. Her wide-open mouth is smothered by a pillow, her hair a mess spread about her head. Her transceiver sits on a small bedside table; I open up the device, thinking about snapping a photo of my idiot best friend, and accidentally click its one new message—from Juniper: where are you?
Squeaking, I drop it and release a breath. Think about shaking her awake. Leave her be. She woke up even earlier to sneak out of her own home, lug over the ladder, then climb into my attic.
No harm in waiting a little longer.
Watching me hesitate, N's voice encircles me from the other side of the chamber. "Filloma... what can I do to ease your worries? I don't... I don't want you to feel anxious around me."
Slowly I turn, facing the strange man who makes my heart clench.
How naive is he to think that it's so simple..?
"Well, I..." I let out a breath. While staring into me, he fidgets with the glowing bracelet around his wrist, the one that releases a comforting azure glow. "I don't know. I wish I remembered you." More of him. The him that he wants me to see. "I'd feel better if I knew more about you, other than this feeling that I... do." There's nowhere else to sit, so I return to my bed, kicking my heels against the mattress. "But at the same time, I don't want to remember. I don't... recall much... but when I think about it, I feel like I'm going to... to throw up, or something."
Again, a flash of confusion in his eyes, blanketed by silky dark concern. "I'm sorry... Filloma." His hands encircle the blanket, and his warmth melds into the space between us. It catches me in my throat, the cozy sensation of his presence, and for a moment I want it. He watches me, watches my breathing spike, and he asks, "Would you like me to tell you what I remember? Then you don't have to look into your memories and throw up."
It's—
I bite into my cheek. "For a random stranger, you're very kind, N."
His laugh reflects back, softer, genuine. "I'm not a random stranger, Filloma..." A quiet, sure smile fills his pale lips. "That's why I'm so kind. You were kind to me too... I just wish you remembered it as well as I do. Then you'd know why I searched for you.
His gaze drops. A hand thoughtlessly nudges my finger and he gasps. "I'm sorry—"
Then he stops talking entirely when I let my small, dainty fingers wrap around his. "It's okay." An implosion of heat suffuses my heart, but I breathe in hard and I let it happen.
N leans ever so slightly closer. His eyes refuse to move in any direction that contains our entwined hands. "O-Okay. Well, um..." I close my eyes and focus on his soft, melodious voice. Almost like a song awaits in the back of his throat. "I met you when we were both quite young. Father—Well—Father said you weren't as young as you appeared to be, but Professor Colress had intentionally made you my age.
"He wanted us to grow up together."
My heart catches. For a second I see it—a man with bright blonde hair and a smooth, pale face, his cologne far too much and far too near me. Suffocation.
His hands are shackled around my body, and he holds too tightly.
The pain comes in a whisper, then a scream: then it's everything.
"Father found you on our adventure to the Sinnoh region. He was searching for children, for ways of expanding his passions. He had received a correspondent there... a boy not much older than me.
"But he thought he should use his time productively, if he was to be traveling so far from home. Professor Colress researched and found the small island off the shore that supposedly held a small tribe of flower-bearing mythical creatures.
"He took the youngest, the only one that did not yet know how to fly."
My heart lurches as the blonde man's hands dig into my soft underbelly.
"Many years of laborious research between Father and Professor Colress culminated in your transformation. Do you..." He breaks off, his hand squeezing over mine. "You remember that part, don't you?"
My head bends into my free hand, the one not fitfully clutching him. "How could anyone forget?" I mutter, then add, "How can you look at their actions and think they're not d-deplorable? It doesn't matter that Ghetsis t-t-t-treated me better than any of the other children..." Now I have a name attached to the hands, the dark memories surging forth and tugging into me, prodding my body, unleashing a horrible light upon my form and leaving me to sit in the metallic pin-needle-shaped pain. Then the indescribable sensation of my body stretching in directions it should not be able to go.
I don't know if they ever told me the glasses-wearing man's name, just left him, a hulking shadow, to stain my mindscape forever.
I remember Ghetsis, too. How could I not?
"Your father loved me," I mutter. "He was going to change the world with me..." Weathered hands, stronger and yet weaker than Colress's unmarred grip, overcome me. Hands that tug me this way and that, and a voice that booms overhead: THIS GIRL USED TO BE A POKEMON. SEE HOW SHE QUAKES IN THE PRESENCE OF HUMANS NOW. DESPITE MY KINDNESS, SHE IS BROKEN.
POKEMON ARE NOT OUR FRIENDS. WE ARE HURTING THEM.
RELEASE YOURS. SAVE THEM FROM THEIR SUFFERING, AND YOU SHALL SAVE YOURSELF.
Between the gnarled shadows of gripping fingers, how could I possibly recall the little green-haired boy who held me in the nighttime, who didn't understand when I told him I was going to run away? Who... proceeded to tell his father and ensure that I would never break away, in a million years, not on my own?
I squeeze breaths through my ragged lungs, pulled by years of greedy adults, lusting over information. "Why did you want to find me so badly..? You destroyed my dreams of leaving that... that... that..."
I can't—Oh, it's happening again.
I release his hand and curl up into myself, struggling to focus on my breathing, struggling to stay afloat, struggling not to let him out of my sight. Don't drag me back to them, I try to plea through my bleary eyes, don't bring me back or I'll never give you another chance.
Warmth folds over me; I look up and find my head on his shoulder, his body bent over to hold me. "I'm sorry, Filloma... I don't entirely understand."
"Why not?" I rasp, coughing, sucking in air.
"He raised me intending for us to be inseparable. Filloma, I... I never would have met you if he hadn't sought you, chosen you to be by my side as queen." Gosh—The more dreck that spills out of his mouth, the less I can breathe. I'm drowning in his logic. "Isn't that a good thing, then, that he allowed our fates to entwine?"
Oh it's—I can't... I can't... I...
A new voice breaks into my periphery. N! The squeak of a pokemon. I cling to it. N! I know you said not to ruin the moment, but you're scaring her! You are very bad at social cues! I know it's because you have no friends, but please stop this train of thought!
Suddenly he straightens, relaxing his arms, releasing his grip on me. The shock of his actions fills his face. "I-I am? Am I scaring you, Filloma?"
Oh my gosh. Unable to properly form a response, I tell the pokemon, Please relay to him that he is definitely scaring me.
Gladly, replies the kind pokemon.
Then I catch a wink of black fur from below the desk. A dollop of red marks the spot above its—her—head.
The little kitsune scampers up the bed and situates herself beside me, rubbing her warm flank against my shuddering side. N, you are definitely scaring her. She told me herself.
His mouth parts. "You can still hear them..." He's blinking back something unbelievably bright, something like shooting stars. "D-Don't you remember, Filloma, when you tried to teach me how to speak pokemon?" His hand darts around his bracelet like a reflex. "That's a treasured memory of mine."
Yeah well, she's currently treasuring the memory of you terrorizing her with your awful social cues. Snorting, the zorua turns to me and offers a sharp-toothed grin. Hello! My name is Asha, and I'm N's friend. I take it you're the girl who used to be the shaymin?
I can't stop the smile that breaks across my lips. Why hello, Asha. Yes, I am the girl who used to be the shaymin.
Wow, magical! She jumps up and down with an excitement I wish I could reciprocate. You've grown up lots, but you're still so short!
Her voice lowers, and she gestures to the boy watching our conversation unfold intently. N, leave the room. I want to say this to Filloma, and Filloma only. He looks away, a flash of hurt in his otherwise calm gaze, and lets the door shut behind him. Alrighty righty. He can't hear our voices beyond doors, or any barriers of that sort. Pretty neat, uh?
Yes! Thank you very much for all the help, Asha. She meets my beam with a happy yip.
In the silence between our telepathic conversation, Marlun's transceiver vibrates.
Probably the professor.
I decide to ignore it.
Of course, Filloma! He's so stupid sometimes. He needs help more than you do, I assure you. Asha rolls her expressive quartz-colored eyes. I've been trying to make it clear to him that you don't wanna talk about the Plasma Dukedom, but does he listen? Of course not. 'But Asha, why wouldn't she want to talk about them? Faaaather was so niiiice to her!' Bleh! It's such a horribly obvious facade. He's the one who kidnapped you, after all.
It's such a relief to hear someone understand me that I sag into the bed, releasing a long breath. Thank you, Asha. Truly. I swallow. In truth, I do remember him... but I don't remember him the way I think he wants me to. I just—I hear him down the hall still, telling Ghetsis that I want to run away. I can't just... forget that. He betrayed my trust... my heart.
What I don't recall is the kindness, Asha.
The zorua winces. That's funny, because that's all he wants to show you. I know it's hard to tell, but it's true. I'm not saying you should give him a chance, if it's really that hard for you to stomach, but... he's trying. He was so excited when you found him. He was so... hopeful, yet so hurt, when you left.
I groan into my hands. Well he had it coming for him...
She groans too. Zoruas have the cutest groans I have ever heard in my life. Oh, he definitely did.
Finally, a tentative knock against the door, and a muffled question: "May I please come back in? I want to apologize."
My cheeks zing with heat. Asha notices and squeaks a laugh.
"S-Sure. That's fine, N," I mutter, rubbing at my stubborn face.
With his reentry, he spills straight into it. "My most severe condolences! I-I... I didn't mean to upset you. I don't... I..." A release of breath. "I clearly have much more to learn about you."
Then he gazes upon me again, with those dark eyes, the centers bright and captivating... and I let my lips curtsy a tentative smile. "Okay. How about... um... Next time, how about I tell you to stop if your words hurt?" A temporary bandage for our situation.
I still have questions for him. How is he here?
What is Ghetsis doing now?
And—Well—The longer he stays with us, the less time he has to sneak over to his father and betray my heart once again.
N returns my smile. "Okay. I will. I—Again, I'm very sorry, Filloma."
I open my mouth to brush away his concerns—when the transceiver explodes with sound.
It's that old theme song, the one of that old kids' show with the planetary warriors: Mercury! Venus!...
Snorting into her pillow, Marlun starts awake. "OH MY GOSH—" Her fingers latch onto the device and jolt into the phone call. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorrryyyyyyy!" Her head snaps away from the transceiver to scream across the room: "FILLMY WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UUUUUPPPPP!"
I catch my foster mother's face flashing across the transceiver's screen. "You should very well be! Young woman, it's past noon and I have not heard a single word about your adventure yet! Did you arrive at the center safely? Where even are you, if I may ask? How far did you get last night? And—Oh, ah..."
Professor Juniper's slate-gray eyes find me in the back of the small bedroom. "Ah. Why, hello, my dear."
I wave awkwardly.
We all simultaneously decide not to acknowledge the N in the room. Thankfully, Professor Junpier doesn't bother with that.
"I mean..." Her laugh crunches in her throat. "I mean, what I meant to say is, you ran away? How, uh, how could you? I uh... uhhh..." Running a hand through her hair, she gives up her facade. "Okay, okay. Enough of that. Your best friend and I conspired to get you out of the house."
My mouth falls open.
Staring at Marlun, I squeak, "WHAT?"
Her cheeks blaze. She offers a paltry, cheeky grin. "Yeah uhhh... maybe that's what happened? Maybe we were tired of you moping all over town and thought an adventure would help you get over your, uh, weird, edgy past?" Then she hands the transceiver to me so I can scream at my foster mother instead.
I carefully keep N out of its periphery as he sits in the desk chair, mute.
"Sweetie, I just... it's clear you have some things you need to work though. And it's clear you wouldn't be figuring any of those things out if nothing changed." Juniper's smile doesn't waver, even as I glare down at her. "It's... hey, don't do that. You're supposed to have fun! Have fun and be safe, okay? We still haven't heard back from your grandfather, and, well... you never know if Sinnoh's events could also play out over here. I know you've got Marlun, but... still. Be safe.
"Love you! Talk to you later~"
Then the screen dies out.
I numbly hand the device to Marlun, who begins typing out a massive response to her unread messages from my scheming mother.
Then I stand, pull my pack over my shoulder, and storm out of the room.
