The speech
FanOfMost asked for a oneshot of Emma being irritated with her parents for giving Hook overprotective parent speeches/threats before every date.
The previous night
Emma couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had only stepped back into the apartment because she had forgotten her purse. She thought Killian was just making sure Henry was settled with his grandparents looking after him for the evening, but instead it appeared he was getting lectured by her father…and it also appeared that this wasn't the first time he had done it.
"Go on, Killian. Say it." Charming said menacingly. Killian sighed, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.
"Do I have to, mate?" He groaned. "I've said it all before…"
"Yes, you have to." Charming growled. "And you know fine well it's not 'mate' in these situations. It's Mr Nolan or Your Highness." Killian was clearly trying to not roll his eyes. "If you'd rather I could get Snow back in and you can say her longer version where the things I hope are implicit she makes extremely explicit…"
"Fine." Killian relented. Emma was baffled. What had her mother made him say in the past?! "Although you know I live with her now, right? The rules of the game have changed slightly…"
"Like heck they have." Charming warned him. "Say it."
"Alright, alright. I, Killian Jones, promise to behave like a proper gentleman tonight as Emma deserves. There will be no lewd behaviour and I will have her home at a reasonable hour. She will not return home inebriated to an extent that her ability to make judgement calls is affected in any way, shape or form. I understand that I am going on this date to treat Emma like the princess that she is and expect nothing in return. No payment of any kind. I know of the consequences I shall suffer should any of this not be followed through." Killian finished. By this point Emma's face was scarlet. He clearly had that little speech memorised for a reason. "She'll be waiting for me, Mr Nolan. Can I go now?" With his arms folded menacingly across his chest, Charming nodded. Emma slipped out again before Killian could reach her so he didn't know she had heard that whole speech. Although she would be having a word with her parents tomorrow…
The next day.
"Ok Emma, what did you want to talk to us about?" Snow asked her daughter. "Did Killian upset you on your date last night? If he did then…"
"Killian hasn't upset me." Emma set them straight. "I came back in to get my purse and I heard the little mantra you both have him chant before every date." Snow and Charming at least had the decency to look sheepish. "Guys, Killian doesn't need that to treat me right. He's a good man. There's no need for all that. So give him some breathing space, yeah?" Emma told them. Snow and Charming didn't seem overly thrilled about this.
"We just want to make sure he remembers his place." Charming defended himself and Snow.
"I'm sure he's got the point by now, seeing as he knows that whole speech off by heart." Emma pointed out. "Lay off now, yeah?"
"Fine." Snow grumbled. "But any little slip ups, and we will go back to saying it before every date." She informed her daughter.
"If you say so." Emma sighed. Some things just weren't fighting over.
