Intro:

Assigned to administer a short health exam to the other residents of Nazarick, Demiurge seriously oversteps some professional boundaries.


For what to expect, clarifications and teasers, please read the author's notes at the end!


Shalltear laid both palms flat onto her cheeks and squirmed in her seat. She was blushing heavily.

"Ah~ to think Ainz-sama worries about our health. It just— hmmph— gets me so stirred up~ arinsu!"

"Indeed," Demiurge said, tilting his head somewhat to let the natural shadows of Shalltear's office hide his own— totally inappropriate— expression. And while Ainz-sama's great wisdom and leadership made his very heart tremble, Demiurge didn't want their private meeting to devolve into girl talk and giggles.

He adjusted his glass and, with them, his tone of voice.

"Before we both retreat into our respective fantasy worlds, we need to examine why, of all the guardians, Ainz-sama has chosen us."

"Hhmmm— " Shalltear's face was still very red but she straightened her posture and regarded him with new interest, "Just what are you thinking Demiurge?"

"Ainz-sama's true wisdom is something so vast and profound that I can't ever hope to match it but, in the context to this assignment, I'm fairly confident I have uncovered Ainz-sama's true intentions."

The smile that crossed Demiurge's face was a rare slip from his cool, collected persona. He'd tried to repress it before but given up. His eyes gleamed with all the fierce reverence of a madman's.

Shalltear didn't react. As a fellow sadistic, she could recognize that wicked smile as one of joy.

"I hope you'll excuse me," Demiurge said, sheepishly pushing his glasses up, "Speculating on matters like these just makes me feel so stimulated."

He chuckled. His teeth gleamed.

"As you already know, Shalltear, the majority of my business in the holy kingdom's borders has already come to its conclusion. Yet, you are still keeping very busy operating Nazarick's transpiration networks. Therefore, it's unlikely that Ainz-sama picked us because of our schedules."

"If not our schedules, for what then?"

"It's my humble conclusion that he picked us for our various resistances! As part of the undead you have a great number of immunities and I, myself, have the strongest status and damage nullification of any other guardian."

"But why would that matter?"

"It only makes sense that Ainz-sama wants us to administer a thorough exam! By choosing us— specifically us— he's implying that, if we will want to fulfill his expectations, we'll likely have to make physical contact with our examinees."

Shalltear's red eyes narrowed as she placed a delicate hand to her chin. It took her some time to digest his words.

After a brief moment, Shalltear nodded to herself

"Ahhh, Sasuga Demiurge! To think you could understand Ainz-sama to such a degree! I thought he picked us because we share a similar knowledge of anatomy!"

Demiurge offered her an impressed smile and, once more, adjusted his glasses.

"Anatomy? I wasn't aware that such things interested you."

Shalltear snickered, "Well that's one name for it— arinsu."

"...I see."

There was silence in the office as Demiurge froze, his brow wrinkled ever so slightly.

Shalltear opened her mouth to explain that it was a joke, but she closed it upon remembering who she was talking to. He was probably thinking.

She didn't wait long before the demon cleared his throat.

"...Shalltear, I'd like your opinion on something. You and I— No— that's not— "

Demiurge cleared his throat again. He softly tapped his knuckles against his chest as if he was coughing. The tips of his long elf-like ears were flushed cherry pink.

Shalltear felt worried.

"I've found, failing to partake... in my more carnal desires impacts my ability to work long-term. Additionally, after achieving a certain amount of pleasure, my body becomes— well— a great deal lighter. The last thing I wish to do is pry into your experiences but I would like to know if it is the same way with you."

"That's— well, yeah. That sounds about right— arinsu?"

Demiurge's diamond eyes gleamed.

"Do you think Ainz-sama considered— No what am I saying! Of course, he did! Sexual wellness is a vital part of personal health!"

"Ehhhh, Demiurge?"

"Of course! Of course! SASUGA AINZ-SAMA!"


So-Bin character sheets (Vol. three of LN) shows that Demiurge has the highest resistance stat compared to the other guardians! it's completely full!

That might be a translation issue and I could be confusing something like the Constitution with status resistance but I'm pretty sure Sous Chef stated Demi does have poison immunity. I put two and two together.


A/N


I have edited this. I'm still not sure why I felt the need to post a first draft but ohhhh boy was it terrible!

In the next few lines I'll be explaining what my plans are for this fic.

This entire fic is dedicated to Demiurge. It's Demiurge/everyone (men only). It's all porn with a plot but the porn is all weird and really gay monster sex and the plot only exists to lead to more porn.

Also, Demiurge's end game is 100% to be the first wife. Don't tell Albedo.

What to expect in terms of character appearances/pairings:

Albedo will have to take an antagonistic role later on.

Shalltear will consistently make appearances but won't be in a pairing.

Mare and Aura won't be in any pairings. I repeat. Mare and Demi won't do it.

Cocytus will have a reoccurring role and be a frequent sex partner.

Sebas will have sex with Demiurge and neither will be happy about it. It will get bloody.

Tsaure is still with Sebas— I'll explain later.

Kyouhukou will play a part in the plot. They will fuck too.

Ainz— oh boy howdy you better believe it.

Pandora's Actor, ohhhhhh yeah.

Nifrea had an important role and a sex scene but I made a few mistakes and didn't realize how young he actually was. (Like It's bad. I'll talk about it under warning and problems)

Jirvic won't be having sex but gets a much, much better role.

Eclair Ecleir Eicler or Victum will not be having sex. I'm not that much of a monster.

There are scenes with less known characters/light novels only that I'll list under this. If you don't know them don't worry about it I'll be sure to give you details. If you feel I've missed someone important please tell me.

Guren, Wrath, Greed, Head Librarian Library liches (Cocceius, Ulpius, Aelius, Fulvius, and Aurelius and more), Gashokukochuuou, Sous-chef, a few nameless undead, Vermillion and (maybe) a mindbroken!Roberdyck

Headcanons:

I will use a few. They're mostly about Demiurge. Skip if you want to be surprised.

While Demi is very compassionate and caring to everyone of Nazarick, we have seen him tease Cocytus. In my fic he does tease Cocytus but they are still very close friends. Like specifically, they'll address each other as 'friend' on occasion

Demiurge is actually a sado-masochist but thinks it would damage his reputation if anyone knew he wasn't just a sadist.

Demiurge isn't gay (but he's not straight either) He's just professional (until now, lol) and didn't advertise his non-normative sexuality. Everyone just sort of figured he prefered a female partner because he has that weird preoccupation with procreation.

Demiurge has a frenum (dick) piercing. There is a reason and it's a surprise. (Hint:it starts with 'Ainz' and ends in 'sama')

While Shalltear does occasionally get on Demiurge's nerves, they share a little friendship as sadists and perverts. (Only Shalltear doesn't know about the perv part… yet)

Demiurge has demonstrated in canon that he's a little Misogynistic. That doesn't change here… I just wanted to say I've noticed and I'm making an active choice to keep it that way. (and it's going to be delicious)

Also,

Cocytus is a little… inexperienced with matters of love.

Future Warnings and Problems:

I have three problems that I need to address:

Underage

Although I'm not rabidly against it in fiction, it still makes me sort of uncomfortable by the merits that— you know— they're kids! I didn't want any part of that when I started this fic— it just makes Me feel gross. I even promised I wouldn't write anything sexual involving Mare, Aura or Shalltear for that reason.

But I made a mistake.

Because I was an idiot, I wrote a scene involving Nifrea. In fact, that was one of the first scenes I wrote for this fanfiction and it probably is still among the best I've written. I didn't know he was like fourteen! (sixteen or seventeen in the timeline of Bitchu— still too young.) It's actually really important to the plot too— like without Nifrea and his weird ass alchemy half the story wouldn't happen!

I don't know what to do about this. I'll put an update when I decide.

Issues of Consent and Sexual Morality

While consent is generally given, the context is a bit iffy. I'm not going to sugar coat it. Even if it's not out of malicious intent, the entire premise is literally just workplace harassment. And that's at best. There will be some characters that will be pressured into having sex with Demiurge— that's not healthy!

There is also sex pollen/magic aphrodisiac. In fact, a certain someone might lose their virginity because they get a dose of it. Yikes.

Then there will also be a fair amount of brutal and gross scenes. You can't take dragon cock without a little organ damage ;)

Writing in General

Spoiler Alert! I'm not a good writer! I have no one to look over anything of mine and I make really, really stupid mistakes. I'll love for ever if you could point these out to me!

If you have any expectations right now… FIX THAT


Next Chapter-

Poor, poor Cocytus is... treated.