Lone Scarlet Lily, Hidden in the World of Snow: Waiting for the Spring.

Chapter 16: Smothered Thoughts

Little brown eyes watched me as I contemplated my next move. From the looks of it, the village was far too small for what I wanted: the head of the village had told me that the farmers and fishermen of the village had no real need for quivers – those that did have some training had left to search glory in the form of war. In my time, the only wars humans really fought were against the demon hordes that descended upon them. From what I gathered, this time was far more tumultuous: humans fighting one another for control over more land and whatnot. Nothing was gained from this excursion: only the knowledge that humans were far more exhausting to deal with than what I could recall. The instinct my body had now acquired was exhausting. Humans posed me no threat – the one thing that could easily seal me away was strapped to my side safely.

It was foolish for my muscles to tense, ready to fight or flee in a moment's notice only because of some pathetic humans that milled about.

My eyes flashed towards the child that had followed behind me closely as I explored the small wooden huts that formed to village. The bruises on her face had soured slightly during my investigation, and it seemed that her right eye had swollen shut. A pitiful sight for a cub, really… but it wasn't my concern. And any show of pity could be easily mistaken for affection if you allow it.

So, I wouldn't.

"Tch. I'm getting sick of looking at you." I held out my hand towards the girl, who had been faithfully keeping her distance as she trailed behind me, "Come here."

I waited, patiently, as the girl nervously inched closer my extended hand. When she came close enough, I placed my palm against her shoulder before running my fingers up her neck and cupping her face with the one hand that could still function properly. While I didn't have much energy left, healing a human of bruises was easy – and there was no way a weak cub could resist my powers.

"Hold still." Energy rushed to my palm, and as she jolted her face back slightly with a gasp at the sensation, I merely followed her through the expected movement.

Within moments of directing my energy across the girl's skin, the welts scattered across her face faded and the swelling of her eye receded. As I pulled my hand away, finished drawing back my energy, she uncertainly blinked the eye in confusion. Her face contorted in discomfort, her eyes not focused on my but rather the tip of her nose, before her rapid blinking ended her confusion as she darted her brown orbs at our surroundings. As she made the motion to meet my eyes with her own, I turned away.

"Run along home now, cub. The forest is no place for little ones." Walking along the path to return to lord Sesshōmaru, I called out to her, "Especially when I've heard there are demons roaming around these parts." I couldn't get more than five steps before the sound of little feet thundering across the dirt alerted me moments before little arms captured my legs in their grasp. I clumsily managed to keep myself from knocking the cub over as I stilled my movement after surprise handed back control over my body. Her body was warm, as humans usually were, and that spread of heat across my skin creased my brow as my teeth sharply dug into my lip.

Rationally, it hadn't been all too long since I felt warmth of another pressing against my skin – retrieving arrows from the corpses of bandits, tightening my fingers around the human priestess's neck… reattaching lord Sesshōmaru's arm… But it had been quite some time since anyone had been the one touching me without the intent to harm. Though, this human girl was doing far more damage than any other foe as my heart constricted at the sight of the girl's beaming smile.

It was then that I felt it – the tendrils of the past reaching for any sort of grip on my mind. For the slightest possibility the shadow of who I was could climb out of the void I had frozen shut long ago. That despicable longing I had pushed away bubbled to the forefront of my mind. The revolting need to find someone, anyone, who I could trust to understand me as easily as breathing – who was supposed to be there for me. I had tried to fill that need long ago, and it only brought with it a lifetime of misery and blistering rage.

Nozomi Inoue had no need for such unnecessary, unwanted, things.

And I would be damned if I let myself stoop to such a foolish level as to ingest poison when I knew it to behave as such. With that thought, the putrid bubble popped, and settled back down in the lowest depths of my heart, where it readily froze over again. By the time I settled my thoughts, the child had gone, and my features had molded themselves into the snow itself: cold, aloof, and undiscerning.


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My heart was beating fast, though the blood that flowed through my veins didn't warm my body. I relished in it, the cold that was embedded into my form, the deathly-blue tint to the flesh that marked my heritage, the contrast it made with the blanket of blood that covered my hand… I relished in it all. This was what I was. This was what I craved. Thisthis would…

I stared at my hand, watching the way the blood mapped the crevasses of my skin. The way it glistened from my frozen fingertips, leaving sticky trails down my curled fingers before spilling through the gaps where the skin met with my open palm. My eyes lost their focus, and the sight of my bloodied hand faded from importance as I turned my attention to my other senses. The thundering in my chest slowed, and with it so did the exertion of my lungs. I felt the blood trickle down the back of my forearm, tickling the hairs implanted in my skin, as it continued its path downwards. As the weight of the liquid pooled at my elbow, I briefly thought of wiping away the droplet, as it would fall from my cooled skin only to be caught by my kimono… but it was a red colour, so it didn't matter. And the thought, just like the weight that had caught on the point of my elbow, dropped away. As more blood fled down my arm, more drops catching in the fabric of my kimono, more thoughts fell away, too. Until I was left with the one I dearly wanted to drop, like all the others.

This… would do what?

It was a dangerous thought; the ones that wouldn't drop typically were. Even when I was reassured, each time the thought was alone, that it would do something. That it would take back all those years. That it would make me strong. That it would prove that I was right, and she was wrong – because the strong were always right. That it would fix the scar that crossed my heart. That it would keep me moving. That it… would somehow fill that dreadfully hollow feeling that had been following me around.

Such reassurances were foolish, not to mention unnecessary.

My thoughts stalled, mind unwilling to form the answer that it would reject. The answer that I would reject.

So, once again, my mind reassured me.

And, once again, the thought was smothered.

My eyes moved from left to right, taking in the scene that surrounded me almost as if it was the first time I had looked upon it. It wasn't: but snapping out of thoughts like those always blurred the vision of what was around me presently with a murky grey screen that shut everything else out. The scent of wolf registered long before the unmoving bodies of about four of them did. They were scattered across the road that cut through the forest, and the blood that stuck my skin together uncomfortably reeked of the same smell. Lowering my hand, allowing the claws that adorned them to melt and drop from my fingertips to the path below, I scanned the treeline.

Four demon-wolves was a bad omen.

Wolf-demons usually accompanied large amounts of demon-wolves: their sheer numbers could be overwhelming, if not accounted for. My previous run-in with their kind hadn't been too difficult: a splinter group from the joining of two tribes in the east had been making a lot of trouble – but they were well-trained in teamwork and using that to their advantage in battle. An annoying swarm, which in my current state was better to avoid. I don't need more of a disadvantage.

"Ah!" A startled gasp broke the air, and the sound of heavy breaths turned my attention to the direction I had come from.

The girl in the red kosode appeared from the trees, stumbling down the bank of the forest onto the path as her frightened eyes never left my form. A moment later, three demon-wolves sped down the slope after her, before skidding to a stop. Three sets of eyes swept over me and the demon-wolves across the path, and with only a second's pause, three snouts lifted to the air and cried out.

"Awoooooooooo!"

A scowl splayed itself against my lips as I watched the demon-wolves icily before turning the glare onto the child. Her clothes were coated in dirt, and several tears bared the thin red scratches on her skin to me. As the teary-eyed child neared, wiping the wet tracks from her reddened cheeks, I pulled Kishikaisei from the sheath that hung loosely against my left hip. The sight of her reminded me of another time, and my heart throbbed painfully in my chest as I pointed the blade at her neck, stopping her in her tracks.

"Don't touchme."

She stilled at the growl that came from me, muscles in her little body tensing in order to keep herself from the sharpened edge and sniffled quietly. Her eyes searched mine, the terror somehow having left her already, and nodded as she wiped away her tears.

She was a curious human.

But I didn't have time to add more to that thought, as the snarling of the demon-wolves alerted me to their reinforcements trickling through the foliage.

There were much more of them: about seven had answered the calls of their pack, and so I moved the blade away from the child's neck. She took this as a gesture to step away from the eleven wolves that now surrounded us, and closer to me. A misinterpretation of my intentions, of course, but there was no need to correct her. My inexperience with wielding a blade would probably only save one of us – and I knew which life I valued more between the two of us.

The saving of her life certainly wasn't an obligation that fell upon me – the human girl was neither my problem or concern.

A wolf leapt forwards, towards the girl, and out of instinct at the flash of fur and movement, I spun around the human cub. The metal of Kishikaisei flashed in the morning light that shone through the trees, and with a swing that felt neither good nor bad, demon blood coated the blade's edges. However, the wolf seemed to have sensed the danger it was in at the last second and avoided a fatal injury from my clumsy attack. A growl tore itself from my throat, ushering the wolves to match mine with their own.

While Kishikaisei was balanced beautifully for a man-made weapon, I wasn't half as elegant at imitating the motions I had watched its original owner work through while training. She had made what I considered to be a rather barbaric practice seem beautiful in its footwork and intricacy. From what I had witnessed while travelling with Sesshōmaru – a master swordsman with centuries of experience – it was an artform I should take more of an interest in learning. The intricate steps and decisions made in a split second to match and overwhelm an opponent… it was a power that I had stubbornly refused. Perhaps, now that I had a fine blade to guide me in this display, I should allow myself to be tempted by the skill.

My eyes certainly knew how to track an enemy's movement, but my body was left far behind the connection. A clumsy pattern of footfalls and hesitations that all but screamed that I was not used to close combat at all: my body always opted for steps that would gain me distance to think and plan and readjust…

But while my mind was aware a blade was of no use the further from a target you were, my body was still inexperienced in such notions. As I danced around the human child, an obstacle that cowered in place, my thoughts drifted towards fleeing more than once. But, the thought was always etched out with a fierce snarl. Fleeing was for weaker demons – of which I was not – and it was thoughtless when fighting against demon-wolves. Their pack was their life: even if I could use the girl as bait, it would only buy me a few seconds. The wolves would stop the girl from fleeing, which wasn't too hard of a task when a simple piercing of the throat would end most humans, and then come after me and the smell of demon-wolf blood that would linger on my fingers for a few days. A vengeful group of demons, for sure.

Running would only put me at a disadvantage, and when I was already dealing with so many disadvantages to begin with there was no way I would willingly accept another…

A few minutes passed in the same way: the wolves' lunges at the human girl behind me, and my counterstrike that would either force them to redirect themselves or would cut them through. Only two had fallen in this way, and one more was on the verge of death – the blade having cut through a lung, leading to a slow and heaving death. That still left eight demon-wolves. And they had stopped testing my defences and now encircled the cub and myself. The shift in tactics wouldn't be noticeable during the first encounter with the creatures, but as I had faced them before, the meaning behind their motions wasn't lost.

They weren't going to keep attacking one-by-one.

With a pained scowl, I forced the arm that hung limp by my side into action. It resisted, the surface skin not quite healed from its encounter with the Wind Scar, and I could feel the new skin pulling at itself as I reached into my obi. The sting along my arm blossomed into fiery pain as the skin ripped, blood pooling to the surface as heat lapped at the skin roughly. Furrowing my eyebrows from the pain that ricocheted up my arm, waking the buried aches from wielding the unwilling Tenseiga, I retrieved my small dagger from its sheath.

The Wind Scar certainly wasn't to be taken lightly – I had thought the wounds that had carved themselves into my flesh from a moment's exposure would have healed enough… But it seems even moving my own arm was enough to undo much of my work. If I wanted it to heal faster, then perhaps I should collect some herbs and apply a poultice… I'd have to collect them quickly: Sesshōmaru's never waited for anyone, and I ensured to not wander too far behind the lord and his ward to prevent being left behind. Though, he usually didn't walk off far enough for me to lose track of his energy.

Carefully spinning the blade around, so that the sharpened edge was opposite my thumb, I jabbed the dagger towards the next wolf that lunged to my right. The one who came at me directly was stabbed through the heart before the blade spun around in my hand as I danced to the side and slid the sword through the demon-wolf which was held in place by the small dagger (though it's feeble struggling caused more of my blood to seep into the fabric of my kimono). Six demon-wolves remaining. What a pain these creatures were.

Retracting the metal from the warmth of the dead demon-wolf, my gaze slid over to the girl as my breaths came in pants that clouded the air. My human appearance had been dropped for a while, and with it my body had cooled considerably as an icy pallor consumed my skin. However, even with dropping the energy used to keep my body warmer to the temperature it naturally is, I still had no energy left to freeze the ground underneath the demons. I scowled at the girl, the frightened eyes that met my gaze as she clutched at her hands and caved her body inwards. She was making herself as small as she could, crouching down as low as she could as she stayed put. My arm burned in pain, and the heat of blood flowing from the wounds scattered across the skin eventually drew my attention away from the girl.

My hand was clenched tightly around my dagger, my knuckles diverting the rivers of blood that flowed down my arm like mountains lining a valley with how they protruded in anger.

Anger… over what?

Over a human child that cowered at my feet?

Over the demons who were readying another onslaught of attacks?

No. Once again, I realized, this anger stemmed from my own weaknesses. This burning resentment that made me wish to watch all within my vision burn in the same manner, made me want to destroy everything until there was nothing left. It was a strange sensation, but I no longer had time to analyze it further as movement drew my attentions. The six wolves launched into an attack: four snarling jaws snapping at me, and two demon-wolves bounding towards the little girl.

In an instant, the decision as to who to protect was made, and my body adjusted itself accordingly with shifting towards the wolves attacking with Kishikaisei raising with the intention of forcing them to abandon their attacks. I had no connection with the child, and no obligation towards saving the girl: as I made sure to note at the start of this battle. The cub's life was of little concern to me.

But the little whimpered gasp that was pulled from her at the sight of the wolves approaching did little to prevent my mind from making connections where there were none. And those connections uncovered memories that made my body automatically move backwards, my target shifting to the two wolves that leapt at the teary-eyed child.

For a moment, for just a second, as my torso twisted in an attempt to stop the demon-wolves, when her brown eyes met my blue ones… I saw someone else standing in her place. He stood there, a relieved smile playing at the corners of his lips as the back of his hands rubbed the dewy streaks from his face. And in that moment, I was whisked back to the time where he looked on me fondly. Back when teasing him made his cheeks flare red, when there was always an impish grin thrown my way whenever I arched a brow at his childish actions. Back before his hands were wrinkled and his face sagged – those same eyes set in the body that had returned me to my own special hell. And even while my heart clenched painfully, causing the scar over the skin that concealed it to ache, it still called out to that time. To that human cub, in danger, powerless, afraid. My fingers stretched for the small form, releasing my dagger, in a rush of adrenaline I could only name as desperation.

Hotaka!

And then the moment was gone.

The imprint of his cheeky smile faded into the form of the girl with the tattered red yukata, and time seemed to finally have left my thoughts without recognition.

My fingertips brushed over the fabric of her yukata, and I clenched what little I could between my fingers before pulling the small human towards me. I could feel the heat of her body beneath the thin fabric, against the cold of my hand. The jaw of the demon-wolf closest to her snapped shut mere hairs away from the soft flesh of her leg just as I felt teeth sink into the flesh of my sword arm. With a wince, I swung down the blade onto the other demon-wolf that had targeted the girl. The teeth ripped at my flesh as the wolf's hind legs pressed into my side and shook its head from side to side as my blade claimed another wolf.

Out of instinct, the ground beneath me cracked with frost – the tendrils of what would normally act as the base of ice spikes erupting from the ground stopped short of doing anything productive. In fact, all it seemed to do was drain me of more energy. Gritting my teeth against the pain of another bite, this time spilling more blood down my right arm as the wolf launched itself onto my back and pierced my shoulder. With a low growl vibrating in my chest, I launched myself (with the human cub in tow) away from the other two wolves that snapped their jaws closed where my legs had previously been. But, knowing that they wouldn't let up on their attack so easily, I twisted in the air readied my sword again (though with the added weight of the wolf latched onto my arm).

However, surprisingly, the demon-wolves had stopped in their tracks.

While puzzled by their actions, I dropped the cub to the ground. Ignoring the searing protests of my arm (only letting out a hiss in response), the wolf biting onto my shoulder was ripped off (teeth tearing the skin and staining my kimono a darker red) and thrown down harshly onto the ground. It whimpered at the impact, and ripping the other wolf from my body, and knocking the first wolf down again before it could move out of the way by aiming the second at it. The two wolves snarled at each other as they got up, and I readied Kishikaisei again as I took a step back –

Right into someone.

Panic flared through my mind as I considered the fact that I didn't sense the approach of another demon. My heart thundered loudly in my chest as I whirled around with Kishikaisei twirling in my hand, ready to strike at this newcomer. The scent of the demon was familiar, though, and my sudden movement stalled as I caught sight of the Great Demon Dog looking over my head at the demon-wolves. My grip on Kishikaisei slackened. Curiously, I my eyes studied the golden gaze of lord Sesshōmaru, his form standing out amongst the shaded road and its surroundings. His gaze wasn't directed at me: his eyes scanning over the wolves before hardening into a glare without paying heed to my questioning stare. With just that, the demon-wolves turned tail and fled: their quarry too much effort than what it was worth.

With just a look this man could scare off most demons.

I was unsure whether I was frustrated or impressed by this. Though, the distinction of which was the prevalent emotion was blurred when embarrassment flooded my system. The Great Demon had probably just seen my struggle with foes that he could frighten with just a look – and that weakness would probably not be forgotten soon: by him, or me. And with that, the flush of embarrassment gave way to a heated anger: one that sparked from the frustration of my lack of power compared to his sheer abundance of it. The icy glare that was sent Sesshōmaru's way was lost, however, as he either ignored it or had missed it completely.

His eyes were scanning the area, a pensive look crossing his features as he lingered over the remains in the area. He seemed to have regained his strength: the imposing presence he carried with him not limited to energy alone (as I was used to identifying him with). As he stood he didn't seem to be favouring one side over the other, and from what I could tell it seemed like he wasn't feeling uncomfortable because of his wounds. Once again, the feeling of admiration and frustration bubbled to the surface. While I hadn't doubted his swift recovery (especially with my aid) seeing him act like nothing happened was infuriating – it was as if he hadn't been unable to move only a short time ago. As if Tessaiga hadn't bitten into his flesh. As if Tenseiga's teleportation hadn't been the only thing that spared his life mere days ago. I bit my tongue and supressed the need to make a snarky comment about his previous state as I watched him reach for the Tenseiga's hilt. He made no attempt to draw the blade, and merely rested his hand on his neglected heirloom…

Could he see the pallbearers of the Underworld?

I couldn't feel their presence now, as my senses were notably reduced due to my exhaustion, but the spirits of the demon-wolves should still linger. Was the Tenseiga finally allowing him to glimpse its true power? The power to cut down the creatures of the Underworld and as a result… return life to those they had come for? Before I could comment on the potential discovery, a shriek sounded from further down the road.

"Lord Sesshōmaru!"

I scowled.

"Lord Sesshōmaru, why did you take off–? Ah, watch it!" The weighted steps of the dragon demon approached, and I stepped out from behind Sesshōmaru's figure. Or, I tried to, and was stopped by Sesshōmaru's hand curling around my right arm and preventing it from sheathing the Kishikaisei.

My gaze immediately dropped to his hand, which held the crook of my elbow in his clawed grasp. It was a strange touch: a light one, his long fingers encircling my elbow but no real pressure stopping the movement to stow my blade in its scabbard. Light enough to not wince at the weight pressed against the sore and wounded flesh that ached now that the adrenaline of battle no longer numbed the heat wracking through the limb.

With a raised brow, I turned my gaze upwards, scanning his face in confusion. He met my gaze evenly, the contemplative look that had marked his features having been swept from his eyes. A strange moment passed, and then another. Both of us scanning each other for some sort of inkling as to what this space was for. What these strange moments had been pulled from normality were for.

"Is this the part where I swoon, lord Sesshy?" A smirk found its familiar place across my lips as a frown appeared on his, the strange moments filled with something and nothing having found an end, "Because I think you came all this way to collect me after that gremlin found you." I made sure to peer out from behind Sesshōmaru and make eye contact with Jaken as I seethed out the word.

Sesshōmaru's hand fell away from my figure as he turned around and began walking back the way Jaken and the dragon demon had approached.

"How ungrateful you are to the one who had to save you from a pack of mutts!" The screech stung not only my ears, but also my pride. Though I certainly didn't let the latter show as I sheathed Kishikaisei and retrieved my dagger from the ground, ignoring the stunned girl as I sidestepped her.

"Oh? Says the one who can't even handle one monk!"

"Inoue. Jaken." The unintelligible squawking of Jaken's frustrations stopped as his name was called.

"Yes, milord?"

"We're leaving."

"Yes, milord."

With that, we left the bodies of the wolves behind.

Even as the little girl trailed after us.


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-Disclaimer-

I do not own the InuYasha movies, manga, or anime. The only thing I own are my characters and the fanfic!


O Reviews O


UmiNight Angel Neko: Haha, don't worry! The mother/daughter duo will soon emerge from the pair... but it'll take time! Nozomi still has a lot of issues to work through before she's ready for another human relationship!

Yes - Rin deserves all the love our little sunshine can get!

bonilalito: It does make you wonder what Kirara thinks of it all - if she believes the claims that the Demon Slayers made towards how Midoriko reached her end. We'll see that later down the line, perhaps, when Kirara and Nozo have a little time together - alone. ('Cause Nozomi will definitely avoid having such a moment with Inuyasha's group around).

Guest: Haha, estou feliz que você tenha gostado do primeiro capítulo e continuado a acompanhá-lo - desculpe pela tradução ruim, é certificado pelo google translate!

(Haha, I'm glad you liked the first chapter and continued to follow along with it - sorry for the bad translation, it's google translate certified!_

AM78: Thanks for reading! Nozomi's backstory and lore will come in again later - and there'll be some cool things happening due to her past with Midoriko as well!

curlystruggle: Haha, thanks for saying so! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far: I've been trying my best to work on it, but life has gotten a little hectic!

JerseyPrime23: Yes, Midoriko's reason might not correlate well with Nozo's anger and dislike of humans now. We'll have to see if Nozo will figure out why Midoriko did what she did - after all, it has been a couple centuries since she was roaming around with the priestess: intentions have a hard time of translating through time and memory.

skylynxprime19: Thanks for enjoying it so far - I hope you continue to look forward to Nozomi's adventure!


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Uuuuuuugh life - why you so hectic?

Anywayyyy...

Next time on the LSL, an Inuyasha fanfic...

Rin, Nozo, and Sesshy.

NOZO GOING ON A LITTLE EXCURSION WITH OUR ADORABLE RAY OF SUNSHINE?

More Jaken and Nozo banter, probably...

The road to Tokijin is paved?

How will Rin's arrival change things between Sesshy and Nozo?!

You'll have to tune in next chapter to maybe find out... :3