Oh gosh, Keebae is so angsty xD though, to be fair, she's been through so much that it only makes sense she's a bit angsty x,D my angst child...
Funny story about Keebae and Filloma. Originally, waaay back in Niri's arc, I had it all planned out, right? (Well, sort of.) I knew Niri's arc would switch into Filma's eventually, but I was thinking Niri would pick up a cool girlfriend along the way (this is before even Lucaro existed—he didn't exist until I was Writing Out Chapter 2). And then I was like, yes, Filloma and N will fall back in love, it will be great and it will fulfill the fantasies of my childhood (protagonist x N otp hahaha).
Then I finished up Niri's arc and the gay wasn't there, and I was sad. Then I started writing arc 2, and I realized... Filloma and N can't be together like that! N's way too wishy-washy and kinda foolish, hahaha. He'd really annoy Filma (though, to be fair, she's very easy to annoy, moody girl). Now KEEBAE... however...
and that is how I finally got my lebsbsbian content in my pokemon story. Yaaasss
Chapter 23: Self Worth in the Reverse World
I try to focus on our surroundings as we zoom past them in search of the negative aura Lucaro's seeking. I imagine this massive black cloud of angst that only he can see, leading like a puddle of oil over to the slimiest, oiliest group of losers around, that being my two terrible dad attempts.
But it's hard to focus. Giant hunks of odd pink ground pass us by in a haze. We shoot through passages that double back on themselves and get so hopelessly lost that I start to worry we'll be trapped here forever, even after we find Dads 1 and 2.
Filma's gone quiet, but her breaths sidle along my ear. She's secure, hugging me tight about the waist. I whisper to her, "I didn't want you to see me like this. I wanted to look pretty like you when you learned who I am."
An odd smirk cuts across her lip. "That's funny, Keebae. You say that like you aren't already the prettiest girl I've ever seen."
Ooh. I think I might die now. The vertigo smacks into me like a punch. It's a good thing Filma's holding so close or maybe I would just slide off of Reshiram and become one with the reverse world.
Filma doesn't know much about where we are, but she's explained everything she and Reshiram do know: this is the reverse world, where literally nothing makes sense. As we go through it, Reshiram's said she feels a weird attachment here, like something she lost was scrounged up in this place's teeming depths.
They're beginning to think that this place holds the secrets of lost gods, whatever that means. Apparently Reshiram lost the bulk of her strength long ago, and maybe humans had it at one point, but it got lost and somehow it's been sucked into the mirror realm, and the great monster Giratina tends to it now.
The way they're depicting Giratina, he almost sounds like a forgotten, unwanted item himself. Like he's trapped in here because nobody wants to see him, and all he does is roam around a little and grab things that don't belong in the normal realm. Poor guy.
Makes me wonder if anything I've lost ever got sucked up in here. Like my other dress. It was short and pink, and it helped bolster my next-to-nonexistent curves. I mean maybe Dad just threw it out but I'd like to imagine it's in here somewhere, waiting for me to find it again.
Lucaro must be thinking about it too. About losing his mom. I can't see his amber gaze from where I cling to his back, but I sense it in the tension pervading his muscular body.
There's an exhale like a murmur of finality from the lucario's lips. "I think we are drawing close to the source of this negative energy." We all slump against one another. While Reshiram's fast, it's difficult to cling to her. Really sucks the energy out of you. Guess that's what happens when you're too close to a freaking immortal goddess for too long.
Man, if someone caught her and made her their pokemon, if that was even physically possible, she'd win every battle almost by default. What a scary thought. I bet, if bad trainers could figure out how to do it, they'd love capturing legendary gods and goddesses like Reshiram. But they're too powerful to be held down by mere mortals... right?
No matter now. Reshiram approaches a deep pink crater in the depths of the reverse world, showered in eerie cobalt lighting and a backdrop like fallen comets. Wedged within that pit are two malevolent forces totally going ham at each other. Giratina, I realize, must be the one with the long black tendrils at his back, inked in red like spidery limbs. Something like gold-plated armor backs his face and rings down his charcoal body, long and sinuous like a snake's. Embedded within his coal-black head are two beady ruby eyes that shimmer like blood. Horrifying. No wonder nobody likes this guy, and he's been banished to the mirror realm where his only friends are the people he kidnaps.
I'm still looking for Dad. But there's only one thing Giratina's fighting, and those blackened limbs and steamy white hair can't possibly be his—
but then Filma cringes against me. "That's Ghetsis. That's what he became when his machine deflected off of me. Where's... Cyrus?"
"Unless, uh... Dad hasn't been totally possessed by him, has he?" I utter, almost too scared to suggest it.
But then N says, his voice gruff, "No, look. Just behind the both of them."
Dad's unconscious body, tossed aside like a hoodie. His limbs are all tangled up, and he's lying on his side, just beyond the battle. I cringe as aural blasts of black energy explode just by his chiseled face. It doesn't even matter that he had weird schemes and didn't raise me great. I feel myself about to explode, watching his life flash again and again before my eyes.
"He's gonna get killed if we don't do anything." I bite my cheek.
"Keebae," whispers Lucaro, voice husky, hesitant. "He brainwashed Layke. The Sinnoh Champion, too, if Niri and I are not mistaken. You said he wanted to erase this world and replace it with an entirely new one, using the powers he found vested within Sinnoh's legendary creators."
"B-But if he dies," I squeak—
"I... I know." He turns to face me, as Reshiram lands on a hill just above the crater and we all, shakily, disembark. "I would never wish death upon another human, but I am afraid that his survival will ensure the termination of... someone." His paw clips my shoulder. "Maybe even you."
Filma has yet to release me. She leans into my shoulder, then asks quietly, "Who was that Cyrus guy to you, Keebae?"
But do we have the time to freaking talk about my feelings? He's lying, right there, in the absolute worst place to sleep, ever. Even now I cringe at each swing, each shot of dark power, each whip and bite and slash that comes close to breaking him.
While my friends start bickering about what to do over my head, I yank out of their grips and take off down the hill, straight into the crater. I'm not thinking about how stupid I am or how bad it would be for me to also put myself at risk. I'm thinking, he's at risk, and I might die from a freaking heart attack anyways if I see something happen to him. So this is for myself as much as it is for him.
I bet my friends are following after me. Lucaro might shoot some sort of aura to try and tie me up, and Filma might be readying her plant powers, but the thing is, I'm fast. I've been running all my life. So I've gotten in lots of practice. I'm faster than them. I'm spry and wiry and small, and I've made myself hard to follow after years of perfecting the art of pick-pocketing, of taking what I need and losing myself in a crowd, in an alleyway, wherever I'm stuck.
As I rush through the fog of black power emanating from the two warring monsters, Giratina's tail shoots right over my head and whams into Dakrai Ghetsis's side, sailing him into the far wall. There's a moment where the reverse god stares after me, and he's got his head tilted, eyes clinging as if to ask, little one, where are you going?
I feel weirdly cared for and look away, hissing, only stopping once I've finally collapsed at my dad's side. I start shaking him, fitfully. "Dad, please wake up." I might be spry, but I've got next to nothing on my embarrassingly thin body. "You don't provide for me great, so I'm not strong enough to carry you." Of course he's not getting up—
—but then he shifts, groaning into himself. There's a nasty bruise up his cheek, and he can't quite meet my eyes when his open, but he's coming to his senses. I about sob when he manages to sit up, blearily watching the battle going on before us. Giratina's moved, and when the Darkrai peels himself out of his new mini crater, the reverse god angles himself as if to protect us from the oncoming onslaught of power.
Protecting me, mostly, I guess.
"Dad, what happened?" I ask, and he tries to train his gaze on me, but there's something wrong with him.
Then it hits me.
It's in his expression. He's—He's anxious.
I've never, ever in my life seen an emotion pass over this man's stone-cold face. My whole body erupts in chills at just seeing the slightest chink in his corpse-like emotional armor.
What, did Dad lose his emotions and they got trapped in the mirror realm, but now that he's here, he can feel feelings like a normal human being again? It can't be that simple, right?
He's trying to focus on me, really struggling with it, and I realize, no, it's not that simple at all. "Keebae," he manages, voice guttural and low. There's an odd flashing in his gaze, like white-hot lightning. Something I can't begin to comprehend. "You've always been by my side."
"Uh, yeah. How perceptive of you." Something feels wrong. Like, really wrong. My friends are watching from up the hill, but I think they're scared if they come any closer, Dad might use me as a hostage or something.
There's a disconnect, like he thinks up the words in his brain, but they drain slowly to his mouth. "I... I am sorry. I never showed you the compassion you needed. I am not a good father."
Oh. Oh that's just... strange...
I sort of glance around me, just to make sure there isn't a real Cyrus hiding behind this phony one. But no, there's nothing. And he's too particular-looking to be someone else pretending to be him. And he's looking, really looking at me, in a way that he's never done before.
He's waiting, like he expects me to say something in response. I fumble a shrug. "Yeah, I know. You're a terrible dad." If he wants my forgiveness, sorry, but that wouldn't make any sense. Recognizing that he sucks isn't gonna fix the fact that he sucks.
It's funny how I'm fully aware of how bad he was at raising me, and yet—I can't bring myself to leave.
Maybe it's because we were all we had, when I was little. Even now, in some ways. It's not like he ever showed me favoritism, but I was the only grunt in Team Galactic who wasn't an adult or brainwashed. I was there because, yeah, Ghetsis shipped me to him, an old apprentice or something of his, but I stayed because I wanted to. For the longest time, it was just me and him against the world.
And I think, somewhere in his dead heart, he knows that. And it's hard to turn my back on our weird and ruthless dynamic. He taught me everything I am today. I cared about him when nobody else did. He kept me alive this long, even if he wasn't great at raising me. I helped him get this far to seeing his dreams to their fruition, even if I sided against them in the end.
I remember, with a burst of cold alacrity, that one time I'd smuggled some left over burgers for us from a fast food place. They'd been about to close, and they had food that was gonna get thrown into the trash anyways, so I sort of snuck in and came out with them. Dad hadn't said anything when I got them—he didn't usually—but he'd paused a moment and patted my shoulder, once, before going back to his scheming, the burger wedged in his mouth.
It's dumb, but our angular lives are full of moments like that that intersect just barely.
Releasing a soft breath, Dad says softly, "I realize now why I could never tell you how much I cared about you before entering this other realm." He's lost his grip on me, but he's staring up at Filma, gaze chasing her figure like she's a puzzle piece that almost fits. "I was not whole in the other realm. I may never be whole.
"I... was found... and raised... by Ghetsis... long before you and your friends' time." He...
Just like me. I was found by Ghetsis too. He found me, and N, and, well, technically found Filma too, before all the horrible things he did to her.
...oh gosh, he's one of us? What does that mean about him? I can't make it out, but some dark secret looks to be dawning upon his horrified face. "I don't yet know why, Keebae, but being in this place causes me to sense on my peripherals the memories I have lost." Just like Filma, right? Filma couldn't keep track of who she was after Ghetsis took her away from her home.
Does... that mean... Dad's...
what is he?
But before I can try to poke holes in his theories, there's a horrifying crash right above our heads. I screech and grab his wrist, tugging him out of the way. Pink boulders sail down at us, but I'm already clambering over the side of the hill, pulling him after me. I'm not strong enough to carry him all on my own, but with my nudges and hollering, he manages to move himself until we've reached stable ground.
At that point, the others have already approached this side of the crater, and Filma hurriedly scoops me into her arms, tugging me out of my dad's reach. "G-Geez, Keebae, what was that about?"
"Filma... do you sense anything off about him?"
He's staring into the distance, hardly paying attention to us. His gaze clings to pale pink comets that zoom through the reverse world and crash into walls, causing more and more land to crumble into broken chunks that hover in the most unpredictable and annoying footholds.
"I mean... he's very strange." She's focusing, tensing up. "V-Very, very strange. What am I supposed to be looking for ex—"
She breaks off when Dad stands up on his own and releases a cry that borders a roar.
Lucaro gasps, squishing himself close to me. "Keebae, I sense the mirror realm undoing what the original world has done. It's allowing Cyrus to reclaim what was lost to him."
"L-Lost to him?" I squeak. "You mean, there is something besides his freakish apathy?"
Filma tenses again. "D-Do you think that means the mirror realm might try to make me a pokemon again?"
Oh. Oh no. I turn away from Dad at the wrong moment. "Do you... want to be a pokemon again, Filma?"
Her eyes lock onto mine. "No," she breathes, her lips mere breadths from mine. All she has to do is raise her chin—and our mouths meet. I gasp as she leans in, kissing me, and I finally shut my eyes. Her hands cup my chin and lead my lips to hers until I get the hang of it and pull her into me, our bodies jostling together. Her form presses on mine, her full figure heavy against my thinner, wirier frame. She cushions me like a warm pillow, her breaths blanketing my face in between kisses.
Then that cry comes again at our backs, and we break apart, out of breath. Filma's hand locates mine and squeezes. Lucaro was looking away before, but now he faces me and offers the cutest little supportive smile, his cheeks bright purple.
Then right before us, my dad splinters back. His legs—They're lopsided—but then suddenly they're growing, massive, splitting open his clothes. Thick black feet emerge as a massive torso explodes from his lower half. A frantically bright blue tail ejects from his backside, and wings explode off his shoulders, nightmare black wings. His maw, crooked and black, forcibly CRACKS back into place.
And Reshiram gasps beside us so loudly, even I hear it.
