This was meant to be a one shot but I had some leftover other jokes I still thought would be funny enough to use.


Under no circumstances would the unicorn permit Callum and Rayla into her glade. Ezran was welcome to converse with her there, and since he was the only one who could actually talk with her, it worked out for the best. Ezran and the unicorn squeezed through an empty space in the tree wall, with Ezran promising to be back once the negotiations were finished.

Now left to their own devices, Rayla sought out a ditch to lay down and die in. The ground was far too even in their vicinity however. She ultimately settled for curling up on her side at the trunk of a large oak tree. Callum sat down next to her and hugged his knees close to his chest. Both tried to get their minds off what had just happened and dissipate the enormous blushes on their face with little success.

"I'll never be able to look Ezran in the face again," Callum lamented.

Rayla groaned in agreement from within her fetal position of shame. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Me," Callum noted, wryly. A sharp, hacking noise came in response. Callum hurriedly leaned over to check on Rayla. As Callum looked closer, he realized the noise was in fact Rayla trying to hold back laughter. Eventually she gave up on holding back and sat up, filling the air with raucous laughing. Callum smiled, caught up in her mirth.

Rayla calmed down for a moment and paused to speak. "I can't be held responsible for that! I'm the elf in this relationship, I'm naturally," she pointed at the horns atop her head, "horny." She doubled over with resumed laughter and Callum couldn't help but join her.

After a few minutes, the laughter faded to giggling, then to chuckling, and finally back to silence. "I guess it's not so bad. I mean, Ez is probably just as embarrassed as us. Maybe he won't say anything," Callum suggested.

Just on queue, Ezran's voice rang out. "I AM DONE TALKING WITH THE UNICORN AND WALKING BACK TO WHERE I LEFT YOU GUYS!"

"OKAY. WHY ARE YOU YELLING?" Callum shouted back.

"SO THAT YOU KNOW I'M COMING IN CASE YOU WERE... DOING ANYTHING... WHILE I WAS GONE!"

And just like that, Callum and Rayla were back to their shell-shocked, blushing state.

"Hey guys!" Ezran's head popped out from one of the gaps in the tree trunks. "The unicorn was super nice, and she knows so much! She's over a thousand years old and she said she'll tell us anything we want to know about Aaravos..." Ezran trailed off when he noticed Callum and Rayla's lack of reaction. They were sitting with that same mortified look of embarrassment as when he'd left.

"Aw," Ezran scratched the back of his head, "sorry, I was just kidding around."

"We know, it's just..." Callum struggled to turn his feelings on the situation into words, "a very, uh, private thing that's not really something you talk about with other people. Especially not little brothers."

Ezran nodded and smiled at his brother and Rayla. They smiled back, with the hope everything would be back to normal.

"Why don't we just put in pin this," Rayla quickly added "forever" under her breath, "and talk about what's important: the unicorn and how she's going to help us."

"Okay, but I do have one last question first," Ezran said. The expression on his face was completely sincere. "When is Rayla going to have the baby?"

Callum choked on his own spit. His face turned as much purple as it did red.

Rayla collapsed onto the ground with a thump. "Kill me now."