Elena
It has been two weeks now since Elijah informed Klaus of my private phonecall. Since then, we have left Berkshire and have headed for a more mountainous scenery. The Bavarian Alps is a quiet little village located in the mountains of Germany. Austria borders us. I get Sound of Music vibes from our little cottage. The cottage isn't little but compared to our last residence it might as well be a shack. The cottage has six bedrooms and baths - one for each of us (including Finn - who has yet to be undaggered). Additionally, there is a kitchen, a living room, and a study. That is it. The grounds however our massive. The property goes on for miles making us feel like we have our own personal mountain.
I have yet to be allowed to leave the property. Klaus has compelled me after making sure I haven't digested any vervain. A painful situation but Klaus's fury was stronger. He rarely lets his eyes off of me.
Elijah's anger was the absolute worst. His anger was more of a betrayed anger. As if I myself has stabbed a knife in his back. I can tell Elijah is still hurt as I have lost all of his trust. He saw me as genuine and honest. But how can I be honest when I am kept, prisoner? What did Elijah expect?
Rebekah is neither hurt nor angry. She more expected my actions. Surprisingly, Rebekah is beginning to become my closest confidence. She has no expectations and therefore conversation has been simple. We never discuss anything of substance but the chatter has helped the boredom.
Kol was more hurt that I would try to escape him rather than understanding I was fleeing my kidnappers. He still talks to me when I allow it. The conversations are short but I look forward to our daily banter. I really enjoy it.
Speaking of - Klaus has made it a requirement now for all meals (a standard I thought was already set). The meals have become increasingly awkward. I feel like I have the black plague and nobody wants to get exposed. I spend the majority of the day in my room alone or maybe go for the occasional walk. Kol sometimes invites me on strolls but I usually turn those down.
Today I feel like accepting his invitation; only Kol doesn't ask. So I walk to his door a knock.
"You may enter," he says. Sometimes I forget he has yet to be updated on current customs (such as the more casual words of 'come in')
Thus I enter and invite him on a walk. Kol happily accepts and we had out.
The weather in Bavaria is much colder than in London, even during the winter times. We are in the mountains. Rebekah took the curiosity of shopping for me in town as I am not allowed to leave. She bought me winter coats, hats, scarves, and other necessities. Most of the shopping I believe was online as I have received very expensive brand name items that I cannot imagine were purchased in the town square. I dress in a thick Gucci gray long sleeve and top it off with a black Canadian Goose winter coat. The snow pants I am wearing are also Canadian Goose. The snow boots however are UGG. I was unaware UGG even made actual snow boots.
We begin our walk by leaving the front door. Our land goes on for miles so I have no problem comfortably taking a long walk without my compulsion setting in. Kol is dressed as warmly as I am but of course in all black. Like Klaus, I guess black is his color of choice.
"I'm surprised you wanted me to accompany you today," he informs me. I know this is a sincere statement as we haven't interacted very much recently. Ever since the incident at the ball weeks ago.
"I could use the company today. It is sort of a rough day," I tell him.
"And why is that?" Kol asks. And I know from the way he speaks, there is genuine concern for my state of mind.
"Today is my brother's birthday. I just wonder what he is doing. If he is celebrating. I miss him so much," telling Kol my feelings is difficult. I don't often open up to new people but I feel comfortable with him. I feel safe.
"I am truly sorry Elena. I know you never asked for this. I know how much you miss home."
His words hurt despite the kindness of their intent.
"Don't pretend like you know how I am feeling. You get joy from hurting your family. God knows why. You like causing chaos. I like the solitude and peace my family and friends bring me. I care about those in my life," I tell him. I don't know where my words come from but I can tell they hit him hard. I think he knows my words are true. His family and he have such a dysfunctional relationship that it is incomparable to mine.
For a while, we do not speak another word.
Eventually, Kol finally speaks up. "You think I like my relationship with my siblings? I look out for myself Elena. Rebekah, Elijah, and Klaus have always been closer than Finn and I. They have this bond where despite everything they forgive each other. I, however, do not get such luxury. I may be their brother but I do not feel as if I am their equal. You know the pact always and forever. I wasn't there when it was made. I am not included in the vow. If it was to come down to one of them or myself. I know I would not be chosen." Kol says in the most serious of tones. I can feel the hurt in his voice. This is the most honest I have felt Kol has been with his feelings. It's both refreshing and sad.
I cannot understand what it is like to be at the bottom of the ladder. My friends and family have always put me first. Even if I didn't want them to. Uncle John sacrificed himself so that I would not become something I never wanted to be. Bonnie put her life before my own to destroy Klaus. Even if it's not me being the one put first. I can't imagine the bonds of siblings not being that protective instinct. Stefan destroyed everything he believed in to save Damon. No matter how unsavable Damon may appear, Stefan doesn't give up on him.
I assumed that the Mikaelson's all held each other in the same regard. Elijah betrayed us so that he could be reunited with his family. It's disheartening knowing that Kol feels so outcasted that he doesn't feel that unconditional allegiance that other families do. Or even the rest of his own.
"Well, you may feel like you are alone. But being with your family, especially in the last few weeks, you have been the only one who has made me feel not so alone. In fact, you may just be my favorite Mikaelson. I'd pick you first in a heartbeat," I tell Kol.
He stops walking and I halt beside him. Kol looks at me with those dark brown eyes and smiles. And it's a genuine and sincere smile. I can tell I truly touched him. That I made him feel just a bit wanted. Don't we all want that? To feel like someone just anybody wants us around.
"You're pretty exceptional Miss Gilbert," he tells me. His dopey brown eyes may even be tearing up a bit.
At this moment, I have this burning desire for Kol to kiss me. He looks at me like I am the only girl in the world. The only person who truly understands anything about him. Or at least cares to try.
He shakes his gaze away from mine and continues walking. I follow.
