Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

Thank you for all of the reviews, follows, and favorites.

Alex looks at me in shock. "You're what?"

"I am Derek Shepherd's daughter."

"How do you know? What proof do you have?"

"His name is on my birth certificate. I also have a picture of him and my mom when they were in college and my mom's word. I asked her about him a couple of years ago and that's when she told me everything."

"When were you going to tell me?"

Alex's face looks like a mix between hurt and anger. I understand why he's feeling both emotions. The girl he's dating just dropped a bombshell about her paternity and I get that he's hurt that I didn't tell him. But we just started dating and I didn't know how he would react. I also wanted to wait until we were more serious. I didn't just want to tell him, have us break up, and then he also know the secret. Or worse, have him spread it around the whole hospital.

"I don't know, Alex."

"Great, just great. I can tell you about my crazy mom and my deadbeat dad but you can't tell me about your father. Do you really not trust me?"

"Alex, how was I supposed to tell you? 'Oh, by the way, my dad's Derek Shepherd. Yes, the same Derek Shepherd that you knew and worked with. The same one that was married to your best friend.' Do you really think that would've been the best way for me to tell you?"

"I think any way you told me would've been better than having to find out through Meredith and Carolyn fighting."

Alex takes one last look at Meredith and Carolyn, then finally me and walks out of the kitchen.


As I am standing here I wonder what I am going to say to Carolyn. Should I ask her why she kept my father from me in a mean or nice way? I am so mad at her that I can barely stand it. I don't think I've ever been this mad at anyone in my life.

I look at her and she's staring at me in shock. I don't know if it's from having confirmation that I am her granddaughter or because of my fight with Alex. She also has tears in her eyes. She probably thought she would never meet me. I also wonder if now her misjudgment is weighing heavy on her because the person connecting us is dead.

"So, you knew?" I ask Carolyn.

"What do you mean?" She asks currently oblivious to the fact that I overheard her talking with Meredith.

"I heard what you told Meredith. My mom sent a letter to your house for my father and not only did you open it, you also kept the contents of that letter away from him. Squashing all hopes that my mother had that one day my father could meet me. Keeping him and I away from each other with him never knowing that I existed.

I came here looking for him. That crap I told you about wanting to see what the west coast was like was a complete lie. I never cared about the west coast, I hate the damn rain and I moved to a place where all it does is freaking rain. I moved here because after I finally worked up the courage to ask about my father and then look him up, the search said that he worked here. Only I searched too soon and didn't find out that he was dead until I came here. After I worked with his sister and his wife and met his son, I found out that I would never actually meet him.

I mean, what were you thinking? You told Meredith that you were afraid that his girlfriend would run off or that he wouldn't be able to handle the responsibility. But what about me? Or my mother? We were all alone for 10 years until she married my stepfather. She had to handle all of the responsibilities on her own. She had to be mom and dad to me for 10 years.

And me? I had to wonder every day while I wasn't good enough for my daddy to want me. Except I don't know if he didn't want me because he didn't even know about me. Because his mother took that chance away from him without him even knowing.

When I asked my mom about him, she never told me about the letter she sent. Probably because it hurt her just as much as it would've hurt me. She never said that he didn't want me even though she probably thought that. She only ever told me the best about him.

Did you think about how it would affect me? Derek lived his life just fine. Lived and died, had a beautiful family, was seemingly well liked at work. But what about me? Did you think about the little girl that was written about in the letter when you decided to throw it away?"

I stop and am suddenly aware of the tears that are streaming down my face. My chest is heaving and I feel like I just ran a really long distance. I look at Meredith who also has tears running down her face. Finally, I look at Carolyn, who looks guilty and is also crying.

"I didn't throw it away." Carolyn starts. "The letter, I didn't throw it away. I did think about how keeping Derek away from you would affect you but at the time I had to think more about how meeting you would affect him. I understand that it was wrong and that it certainly wasn't my decision to make. But a little girl, a baby, is a lot for someone to handle. I know, I had 5 babies with a husband and each time it was hard.

I am sorry that you had to live thinking that your father didn't want you. But if it is any consolation, your mother seems to have done a great job raising you. I am also sorry that you rearranged your life to meet Derek only to learn that that opportunity was forever gone. I would give anything for you to be able to meet him now."

"If you think your apologies are going to make me feel better or in some way want to forgive you, you're wrong."

"Carolyn, why don't you head up to Amelia's room and go to bed. I think it would be better if we stopped this for now and maybe regrouped in the morning." Meredith suggests.

Carolyn takes one last look at me and then heads up to bed.