Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

Thank you for the reviews, favorites, and follows.

Meredith and I are left in the kitchen after Carolyn leaves.

"Eleanor, are you okay?" Meredith asks as I sit down on a bar stool and put my head in my hands, resting my elbows on the bar.

"I don't know."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know."

I hear the stool beside me and look over to see Meredith sit down. She leans over and puts an arm around me and coaxes my head to leave my hands and rest on her shoulder. We sit in silence for a while before I feel the dam starting to break and I start to cry.

After what feels like forever, the tears dry up and wipe my face. "I just, she knew, all this time, my whole life, that I was out there, wanting and needing a dad, but she did nothing about it. She just went on like nothing was wrong, saw her son all the time and didn't even try to tell him that he was a father. I mean, how could she do that to us? How could she look at her son and know he was someone's dad and not do anything about it?"

The tears start flowing again and Meredith gathers me in her arms holding me. I can't imagine what she must be going through right now, holding her long lost step-daughter in such a motherly way. After finding out about me, I thought she wouldn't want to see me ever again, but she's welcomed me into her home.

"Whoa, who died?" With all the crying and hugging, neither of us heard Amelia walk in.

"Amelia, no one died." Meredith answers.

"Well, something happened because Alex is outside looking like someone ran over his dog and you two are in here crying."

I look up to see that she's right, we are both crying. With all of my tears, I didn't notice that Meredith was also crying. I also can't believe that Alex is still here, he does live here, but I figured he'd go to Joe's or somewhere, not stay.

"So, are either of you going to tell me what's going on?" Amelia asks as she goes to the cupboard and gets a glass. "Where's mom?" She asks while filling the glass with water.

I know I have to tell her. Everyone knows and it would be cruel to leave her out of the secret. It would be even worse to keep it from her and then have her find out at the hospital because who knows how long it will be before everyone there knows, too.

"We had a bit of an argument but it'll be okay."

"Mer, you and mom had an argument? Okay, I can believe that. But if you two had the argument why is Rhett crying and why does Alex look so upset?"

"Well, they were kind of drug into the fight."

"So, now it's a fight. How were they drug into it?" Amelia now directs her attention to me. "Rhett, what's wrong?"

I open and close my mouth a couple of times but nothing comes out.

"Eleanor?" Amelia persists. I know there's no way I can't not tell her.

"I, um, have to tell you something."

"Okay… What is it?"

"I, um, you are, uh…"

"Rhett, spit it out."

"Amelia, give her a minute." Meredith says.

I take a deep breath, "I'm Derek's daughter."

The glass falls to the floor with a crash.

"Excuse me?"

"Do you remember when I asked you about Derek?"

"Yes."

"I was asking because he's my father. I was hoping to talk to him or at the very least see him. When I was assigned to your service, I was told that I would be working with Dr. Shepherd. No one ever specified that it was Amelia Shepherd so I assumed that I would be working with my father."

"But instead you were working with me."

"Yes."

"How do you know that you're Derek's daughter?"

"My mom. She has a photo of them from college and his name his on my birth certificate."

"Well, that doesn't mean he's your dad. I'm sure a lot of people have pictures with him. And people can lie on birth certificates, you know."

"Amelia, there's more." Meredith says while taking a deep breath. "Eleanor's mom sent a letter to your mother's house after she was born. Carolyn opened the letter, read that Derek was a father, and then never told him about it. Although, look at her, I mean doesn't she look like a Shepherd? Today alone, two people, your mother and your husband, mistook Eleanor for you."

Amelia, Meredith, and I look at each other in silence.

I can't believe that this morning I was fantasizing about what it would be like to have Carolyn as a real grandmother growing up and now I know that Carolyn was my grandmother growing up, only I didn't know it. She could've been in my life from the beginning, her and my father, but a letter fallen into the wrong hands took all of that away.

What if she hadn't have read that letter? Would Derek had been in my life and been a good dad? Or, like Carolyn suspected, would he buckle under the pressure and ran away? Would Addison have run or would she have stuck it out? I don't know that whole story between the two of them but obviously, they didn't work out anyway.

Would Derek have still met and married Meredith? Would Bailey and Ellis even exist? Would Zola still be my sister or would she have been adopted by another family?

Maybe Derek and my mom would've gotten back together. My mom's never told me why they broke up but maybe they would've rekindled their love and be together.

If Carolyn would've told Derek about the letter, maybe he still wouldn't have been apart of my life but maybe he would still be alive. If she had told him about the letter, maybe I would still have the chance to know him.

Thoughts of Alex start to override the what if thoughts. Why would he just be sitting outside? He lives here, has a bedroom here, so why didn't he just go to his room? Was he hoping to see me when I left? Or maybe he just wanted a breath of fresh air.

"Do you think Alex is still outside?" I ask the room, quietly breaking the silence.

"Maybe, but you might want to leave him alone right now." Meredith advises.

"The last time I left him out of the loop, he found out my biggest secret because of a screaming match between you and Carolyn." I tell her as I stand from my bar stool.