WHAT If
Chapter 12 -The Crush
After Harry had successfully survived the first task, the upcoming December was thankfully calmer and more cheerful. The school was treating Harry significantly better and Hermione was relieved that Ron and Harry were on speaking terms again. It made things so much easier. Now she was finally able to catch up with her studies and her homework without having a gloomy Harry around.
And of course, now Hermione also had time to work on S.P.E.W. again. George had been right, more then he himself would ever know probably, because Hermione in fact intended to work with the Elves directly. If witches and wizards weren't interested in changing something, then surely the elves themselves would want to change things for the better.
So one week after the first task Hermione carefully made her way to the kitchens. She tried to act as innocently as possible so that no teachers or other students would ask her why she was in this part of the castle. Normally no Gryffindor would have a reason to be there as there were no classrooms at this level.
Carefully Hermione approached the corridor where multiple pictures of food were and inspected them until she found the right one. She felt pretty stupid as she tickled the pear but then it actually started to giggle and the potrait swung open, revealing a door. Delighted Hermione stepped it.
The Hogwarts kitchens were one, big room underneath the Great Hall and looked exactly like the Great Hall. There were four tables at the places where the House Tables were above and Hermione suspected that the house elves used them to magically send the food up.
"Can we help, Miss?" A small house elf clad in a neat, white tea towel approached Hermione with a slight bow and a soft smile. Hermione suspected it was an elf woman because she reminded her of Winky.
"Hello, my name is Hermione Granger. I'm here to talk to you about your employment situation. I want to help you so that you're treated better. I want to end your enslavement so that you can be free…" Hermione started but as soon as the word free was out of her mouth the small elf took a big step back.
"Oh no, Miss, Maddy doesn't want to be free. Maddy is happy to work for Hogwarts." Maddy the elf shook her head furiously.
"But surely you want to be treated better, right?" Hermione asked. "You want payment and days off and recognition for the hard work you're doing, right?"
"Payment?" Maddy squeaked loudly and suddenly most of the elves stopped working. And every single one of them stared at Hermione with big eyes.
"Please, Miss, no payment. No being free. Maddy likes it at Hogwarts. I like serving the younglings."
"But…" Hermione's confusion about the situation grew with every second. She had expected the elves to be glad that someone was offering them a better life.
"It's no use, Miss. They do not want what Dobby has." Another elf approached Hermione and he didn't seem frightened at all. He seemed genuinely interested and happy to see Hermione. He wasn't wearing the same white towels as the rest of the elves, but a colourful assortment of clothes. Even his socks were in vibrant colours.
"Did you say your name is Dobby?" Hermione asked the elf.
"Yes, Dobby it is. Dobby is a free elf and works at Hogwarts for payment as Miss said. But the other elves don't want nothing to do with Dobby. They think Dobby is a bad elf for being free."
"Oh, I know all about you, Dobby." Hermione offered him her hand. "My name is Hermione. I'm friends with Harry."
"Harry Potter?" Dobby breathed in deeply, obviously overwhelmed from excitement, as he took Hermione's hand. "Miss is friends with Harry Potter? Dobby has wanted to talk with Harry Potter, but Dobby doesn't know how to approach."
"You know what, Dobby? I will bring Harry to you. I will show him the kitchens." Hermione beamed as she saw Dobby's happy face and how small tears of happiness formed in his big eyes.
Forgetting why Hermione had originally come to the kitchens for she ran back to the upper floors and searched for Harry and Ron. She finally found them when they exited the common room.
"Come with me, I have to show you something!" Without answering any questions Hermione pulled Harry and Ron with her till they were almost at the kitchens.
"Hermione, is this about the spew?" Harry stopped abruptly when he saw the picture with the pear.
"It's S.P.E.W., not spew. But no, it's not. It's… I want to show you." And without listening to the complaints from her best friends Hermione opened the hidden door.
"Harry Potter!" Dobby squeaked in excitement as soon as they stepped inside and with a smile, Hermione watched how Harry and Dobby talked. Dobby told them everything about how he came to Hogwarts, how much Professor Dumbledore was paying him and how happy he was to see Harry again.
Hermione honestly hoped that Harry and Ron would change their mind about S.P.E.W. now that they saw how happy Dobby was with his new life. Plus, Harry had been the one who helped to free Dobby. Surely he would understand now how important it was to help the other elves too.
And Hermione also had high hopes that Dobby would set a good example for the other elves. Working with them and showing them how wonderful a different lifestyle was could help open their eyes about the terrible treatment. But Hermione more and more realised that it would be a long and slow process to achieve her goals. The elves were clearly brainwashed and needed time to accept that life could be different for them.
Winky was the best example for that. The poor elf had been so oppressed and dependent on Mister Crouch, that she couldn't imagine a better life for herself. Whenever Hermione looked at her she was reminded of the Stockholm-Syndrome, where victims identified with their kidnapper.
And that's what Hermione had to fight against. A whole society of creatures who were raised to believe they liked helping and caring for witches and wizards and that this alone was enough to compensate for their hard work.
Hermione knew now more than ever that it would be a hard fight, but in the end, all social changes were hard, right?
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Hermione's peaceful December was interrupted when Professor McGonagall made an announcement that had the impact of a small bomb. With a stern expression, their Head of House announced the upcoming Yule Ball for all fourth years and above and reminded them to behave. McGonagall also shocked Harry with the news that he had to open the dance with a partner which meant that Harry had to ask a girl out.
And that was when the whole mess started.
Since Harry had to find a Yule date, Ron, of course, didn't want to go alone. So both boys were a bundle of nerves and constantly complained about it. Hermione really couldn't understand why didn't just ask someone.
"Because they're always in groups." Harry muttered. Hermione knew it was just a flimsy excuse since Harry stared longingly in the direction of Cho Chang. He was too scared to ask the girl out of fear she would say no. Ron, on the other hand, was just an idiot, Hermione found.
But not only were the boys an annoying mess, but most of the girls were also too. Lavender and Parvati were constantly giggling and discussing who had asked whom out.
"I can't believe he asked you! I hope someone will ask me soon." Parvati sighed wistfully right as Hermione opened the door to her dorm room.
"Well, maybe you're lucky and he will ask you," Lavender answered with a meaningful smile. Lavender and Parvati sat on the floor, on a plush rug that Lavender had brought at the beginning of the year, and drank tea.
"Oh Hermione, do you want to sit with us?" Parvati offered Hermione a cup of tea. After a second Hermione accepted and sat down.
"So, who asked you to the Ball, Lavender?" Hermione asked because she knew it was the polite thing to do. Plus, it would give them plenty to talk about.
"Seamus," Parvati giggled. "He asked her after dinner. I've never seen someone blush so deeply." Now Lavender, too, was blushing but she also had a small, happy smile in her face. In detail, Lavender and Parvati described to Hermione how Seamus had asked and what he had said exactly. And then they proceeded to analyse if what he had said was really what he meant or if there was a deeper meaning.
"You know, it's all about reading between the lines," Parvati explained. "So, Hermione, has anyone already asked you?"
"No, not yet," Hermione murmured into her tea.
"Well, it's still early. Parvati also doesn't have a date yet. Besides, you have Harry or Ron as an alternative, right? You can go as friends with one of them."
"Oh, well Harry has someone he wants to ask, but he's not brave enough," at this Parvati's smile vanished, "and Ron is kind of an idiot when it comes to girls."
"Do you know who Harry wants to ask?" Parvati asked, a blush on her cheeks.
Oh my, Hermione though, one more rival for Ginny.
"No, he hasn't told me," Hermione lied. She knew that Parvati and Lavender were the biggest gossips at Gryffindor Tower and telling them about Harry's crush on Cho was a sure way to inform the whole school about it. Another sigh escaped Parvati but she didn't pry any further.
"And how about you, Hermione, do you have someone you want to go to the ball with?" Lavender's eyes twinkled with curiosity.
"No, no one in particular," Hermione lied again, but this time she felt her heart race and she was sure that Lavender and Parvati knew she was lying. But they didn't ask again.
In the deepest part of her heart, Hermione wished for Fred to ask her to the ball. She daydreamed about dancing with him, wearing the beautiful dress robes from her mother. Sometimes, when she let her mind wander off, Hermione also dreamed of a kiss in the middle of the dancefloor.
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The next day Hermione spent at the library, researching the history of house elves. She wanted to understand how the little creatures had become bound to magical families and why. Hermione was convinced that there had to be a starting point of this practice. No race was born into enslavement after all!
But to her frustration, there were no books about it. There were in general not many books about house elves and the few she found were about how to train and breed them.
"Excuse me, can I sit dovn?" Someone with a thick accent asked and curiously Hermione looked up. Right before her stood Viktor Krum, a stack of books under his arms, and a hopeful expression on his face. Hermione looked around and discovered that all the other tables were full, but thankfully with normal people and not with Krum's fans.
"Of course," she replied and went back to her books. For an hour, or maybe two, Hermione and Viktor Krum sat in silence. Each just reading. But then one frustrated sigh too much escaped Hermione and Krum raised an eyebrow at her.
"Vhat are you searching? Maybe I can help?" He offered.
"Well, I'm trying to find something about house elves and how they became bound to wizards. But there's nothing about it." Hermione huffed. At this point, she was too wind up to realise that Viktor Krum - Quidditch star player - was talking to her.
"Vhy are you searching for that?" Quietly Krum closed his own book.
"I'm trying to find a way to free them. The bound between wizards and house elves is nothing more than a form of enslavement and I want to change that. Give them better-living conditions. They should be paid for their work. Oh, and they should be able to deny a task when it's against their own comforts." Hermione added the last part when she remembered Winky and her fear of heights.
"Oh, vell, that's good then." Krum smiled. It was the first time Hermione actually saw him smile like that. It was a shy, small smile that made him look younger.
"You know, the bound betveen vizards and house elves is dark magic. Very dark. I think you von't find it in those books. In Durmstrang ve have a lot more books about dark magic. There you vould find it."
"Dark magic?" Hermione breathed. "That's fascinating and not surprising at all. In order to bind so many living creatures over generations to one family…" Hermione mind drifted off as she thought about how she could research about such magic bounds. Maybe the restricted section? But she would never get the permission for that. She could ask Harry for his invisibility cloak and maybe sneak into the library at night.
Lost in thought Hermione only realised much later that Viktor Krum had been sitting opposite of her the whole time. She only startled out of thought when he closed his books and started to pack.
"I'm sorry, my mind wandered off," Hermione explained with a blush.
"It's not a problem. It vas nice sitting vith you." Krum nodded and then walked off.
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Professor McGonagall walked through the big room with fierce steps. All Gryffindor girls were sitting on the left side of the room, most of them giggling. The boys were on the other side, facing them, and looked either uncomfortable or confused. An old gramophone was playing in the corner.
"The Yule Ball is an occasion, where all of us are allowed to let… their hair down, as they say. But I still expect you all to uphold the good name and image of Gryffindor House. I won't allow you to befoul the name of Godric Gryffindor by behaving like a babbling, bumbling band of baboons." Hermione saw how Fred and George snickered at this, but then McGonagall stepped towards Ron.
"Mr Weasley, may I ask." In her usual stern manner, the old woman offered Ron her hand and pulled him to the dancefloor. "Now, put your hand on my waist."
"What?" Ron spluttered and Hermione, like the rest of the room, tried hard to suppress a giggle,
"Put your hand on my waist, Mr Weasley," McGonagall ordered again, more firmly. With a red face, Ron followed her orders and soon they were waltzing through the room. Harry, Fred and George on the other side of the room were almost laying on the floor from silent laughter.
"Now, everyone please get together in pairs and practice. I will make rounds later." Hermione watched how most of the boys in the room stood up and carefully approached the girls. Most of the older students seemed completely at ease, but the fourth years were especially nervous. The first, second and third years weren't there for the dance lessons as most of them wouldn't come to the ball.
Hermione looked through the room nervously. What if no one asked her? She didn't want to sit alone in a corner. Lavender and Seamus were already dancing and Parvati was practicing with Neville but seemed quite unhappy with that. Hermione had just decided that it was probably best if she just searched for Harry when someone appeared before her.
"May I ask for this dance, Miss Granger?" With a cheeky grin, Fred made a mock bow before Hermione and offered her his hand. Afraid that her voice would betray her Hermione just nodded silently and stood up.
Her heart was beating so hard that Hermione thought everyone would be able to hear it. Slowly she followed Fred. He was still grinning and seemed completely at ease. Without further hesitation, he gingerly laid his hands on the proper place on Hermione's waist. Again her skin prickled at the places Fred was touching her.
From the corner of her eyes, Hermione saw that Ron was still dancing with Professor McGonagall, while Harry was dancing with an older girl, whose name Hermione didn't know. George was swirling Katie Bell through the room.
First slowly then a bit faster they started to sway. For a moment Hermione enjoyed the illusion of a dream come true. Fred was a good dancer, Hermione discovered. He was firm enough to lead her through the room without colliding with other dancers but not too controlling.
Under normal circumstances, Hermione would have had a wonderful time but she wasn't able to relax. She felt like a whole colony of ants was living under her skin, itching and tickling everywhere. Her heart was shortly before a collapse and it took Hermione all of her strength to not faint from nervousness.
"So, Granger, how is it going?" Fred asked, a twinkle in his eyes.
"Everything is fine…" Hermione answered slowly. As much as she enjoyed dancing with Fred, but it was still a bit suspicious.
"Well, good to hear. So, now tell me, who are you going to the ball with?" At this Hermione actually stumbled over her own feet and almost fell down. Only Fred's fast reactions saved her. He caught her arm before Hermione fell.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah…" Hermione felt a blazing heat spreading on her neck and face. Without losing a second Fred picked up where they had left and soon they were dancing again like nothing had happened.
"Erm, no one asked me to the ball yet." She tried to sound casual but her voice came out high-pitched.
"Not even Ron or Harry?" Fred frowned. Hermione just shook her head. Why was everyone thinking that she would go with one of them?
"That's a shame. But I'm sure there is a fine young lad out there just waiting to ask you." Fred winked. Puzzled Hermione stared at him, waiting for the joke to come. But it didn't. Fred was just grinning widely and as the song ended he bowed again and then left Hermione to wander off somewhere with George.
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"Ginny, what do you think does it mean when a boy asks if you have a date for the ball yet?" Hermione laid on her bed and stared at the ceiling. For two days she had tried to make sense of Fred's comment. But till now it had only ended her in serious overthinking and more dreams. Now she needed a second opinion.
Ginny was laying on the floor and played with Crookshanks. The ginger rolled a small ball towards the cat and then manipulated it with her wand so that Crooks could hunt a moving object. With a loud meow, the half-kneazle plunged itself onto the ball.
"Well, it means he wants to know if you have a date, right?" Ginny fished the ball from Crooks fangs and threw it again.
"Yeah, but why does he want to know that?" Hermione rolled one of her curls through her fingers. Since Fred had asked at the dance lesson she constantly thought about how to style her hair for the Yule Ball. Somehow now more than ever she wanted to look nice.
"Oh Hermione, don't pretend to be so stupid. Of course he wants to ask you himself, doesn't he? And he just wanted to know if you're still free." Now Ginny was smiling widely. "Who is it? Who asked you?"
"I'm only telling you if he really asks me to the ball," Hermione stated firmly.
"Was it Ron? Or Neville?" Ginny stood up and laid down beside Hermione on the bed.
"No and no. Ron would never ask me. And I'm not telling you who it was. It will be embarrassing if he doesn't ask me."
"Fine," Ginny huffed. "But I'm actually surprised that neither Ron nor Harry asked you. It would be so easy if you would just go as friends. Instead, those two idiots are stressing themselves out with trying to find a date."
"Well, they are idiots," Hermione mumbled. She wasn't sure if it wasn't better to tell Ginny about Cho Chang. That Harry hadn't asked Hermione because he actually wanted to go with Cho. But it would also mean to betray Harry trust and so - again - Hermione swallowed down the words and hoped the best for both of her friends.
This night Hermione dreamed that Fred would ask her to the ball in the middle of the Great Hall, a firework lighting up the scene.
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It was two weeks before the ball when Hermione, Harry and Ron were at the common room, discussing how the boys could ask someone out. Harry was on the sofa, while Hermione lounged on one of the large armchairs. Ron sat on the floor, building a card house with exploding snap cards.
Right now Harry and Ron were again complaining that they couldn't talk to girls when they were with their friends. Hermione still found their behaviour ridiculous but she kept it to herself. She was quite glad that neither Ron or Harry had asked her. In the deepest part of her heart, she still hoped…
Suddenly with a loud BANG, the snap cards from Ron exploded and singed his eyebrows in the process. Harry and Hermione both suppressed a giggle while Ron tried to fingered his face carefully.
"Nice look, Ron… goes well with your dress robes, that will." Fred and George appeared behind them and leisurely sat down beside Harry.
"Ron, can we borrow Pigwidgeon?" George asked.
"No, he's off delivering a letter. Why?" Ron still was touching his face. Hermione took pity on him and handed him her small pocket mirror.
"Because George wants to invite him to the ball," said Fred sarcastically.
"Because we want to send a letter, you stupid great prat," said George.
"Who do you two keep writing to, eh?" Ron glared at them, but then his eyes widened comically when he saw how badly burned his eyebrows were.
"Nose out, Ron, or I'll burn that for you too," said Fred waving his wand threatening. "So… you lot got dates for the ball yet?"
"Nope," said Ron. Harry too shook his head a 'no'. Hermione decided to remain silent and just watched. But for a second Fred looked directly at her, like he expected an answer.
"Well, you'd better hurry up, mate, or the good ones will be gone." Fred said to Ron, but he actually winked at Hermione and she felt how her face started to burn up. In her chest, her heart started to pound against her ribcage. That couldn't be happening, could it?
"Who're you going with, then?" asked Ron, scowling at George, who was snickering beside Fred.
"Angelina," said Fred promptly, without a trace of embarrassment. Hermione felt like a bucket full of ice water was tilted over her head. Suddenly she felt a different kind of burn in her chest and her throat was aching miserably.
"What, you've already asked her?" Ron asked taken aback. Hermione blinked to suppress the swelling tears in her eyes.
"Good point," Fred grinned. He turned his head and called across the room.
"Oi! Angelina!" Angelina was standing with Alicia Spinnet near the entrance and turned to them with an annoyed eye roll.
"What?"
"Want to come to the ball with me?"
I'm so stupid, Hermione closed her eyes for a few seconds. But that was a bad idea. It just made the tears come stronger and it took Hermione all of her willpower to calm herself down.
I won't lose control right here and right now. I'm stronger than that! When she opened her eyes again it was just in time to see Angelina.
"All right, then," the older girl shrugged and turned away.
"There you go, piece of cake" Fred got up with a yawn. George followed him. The last thing Hermione heard was that they wanted to use a school owl. On their way out Hermione saw how Fred and Angelina grinned at each other. Hermione stared after Fred till the portrait of the Fat Lady swung close again. Her heart felt like cut with thousands of razor blades.
Hermione watched Angelina carefully. She had always admired her and she knew quite well, that Angelina was amazing. And as Hermione realised how amazing, beautiful and cool Angelina really was, she asked herself why she had ever had the illusion that Fred could possibly ask her. How had she been so stupid? Of course, he would never ask her. She was just Hermione. Bookwork with bushy hair. Ron's best friend. Nothing more.
"We should get a move on, don't want to end up with a pair of trolls." Ron's annoyed voice brought Hermione back.
"A pair of what, excuse me?" She asked. Hermione knew her voice was slightly shaking.
"Well, I'd rather go alone that with someone like- Eloise Midgen," Ron explained airily.
"But Eloise is really nice..."
"Yeah, still wouldn't ask her." Ron shrugged.
"So basically you're going to take the best-looking girl who'll have you, even she is completely horrible?" A blazing fury took over Hermione and without waiting for an answer she went to her dorm room.
"Damn it!" She threw her things on her bed. "Damn It! DAMN IT!" She yelled into her pillow so that no one outside would hear her. Then the tears finally started to stream down her face.
It's just a crush. Just a crush. I will get over it and then it will stop hurting. In a few weeks or months it will be all over. Just a crush.
With that thought as her new mantra, Hermione cried herself to sleep.
Well, that's the new one. I was sick the last week so I couldn't write as fast as normal and I'm not sure about the quality of the chapter but I hope you like it.
