I don't care if you review this or not.
Disclaimer: Skip Beat! does not belong to me.
After you read this, you'll be glad it doesn't.
A/N: No, I don't think Taisho is hot.
--Skip Beat! Stories You Wish Will Never Come True--
Sexiest Man Alive Award Part 1
It was another beautiful day at Darumaya. The birds were chirping, the flowers were in full bloom, and the weekend drunks hadn't arrived yet demanding their sake. Yes, it was indeed an incredibly nice day. For Taisho, however, it was about to get even better.
"Dear, what do you think we should do for Kyouko's 20th birthday,"Okami-san inquired. He looked up from chopping up the meat and grunted. Okami-san sighed and looked towards the way that lead to Kyouko's old room. The girl had moved out and into her boyfriend's penthouse immediately after graduating high school. Apparently, it had been planned since the start of her senior year. Regardless, the couple missed her terribly.
"She said she and Tsuruga-san were going to play some game after coming home from that awards show," Okami-san murmured. Taisho looked up from the meat and asked what sort of game they were playing. His wife was quiet for a moment as she tried to remember just what game Kyouko had told her they were going to play when they had talked on the phone last night.
"Roleplaying...,"she said, absentmindedly putting up some flower seed packets in the freezer. Taisho informed her of her mistake and then continued chopping the meat. He then went on to ask just what they were roleplaying as.
"Kyouko is Yogi the Bear and Tsuruga-san is the Ranger that has to punish the picnic basket stealing bear." She chuckled as she said this and went upstairs to clean out the guest room, Kyouko's old room. Both of them knew what was really going to happen on the night of her birthday. Downstairs, Taisho had quit cutting the meat because he had realized they had run out of this particular spice used in his special stew. If they didn't have that stew, the weekend customers would leave almost instantly.
Well, I guess I'll have to go buy some more of it. The weekend drunks won't get here until after awhile anyway.
With that thought in his head, Taisho took off his apron, told his wife where he would be going, and walked out the door. He wouldn't be gone too long, after all. Unless, of course, there was some sort of annoying disturbance. Like a girl from another dimension putting him in a crap fanfiction about his life gone wrong. He shivered just thinking about it--no one had ever forgotten about the tainted chicken Kyouko had accidentally ate...and that was most likely because of some nimrod from another dimension writing an absurd, sadistic fanfic about her.
***************
A man in his mid thirties strolled out of a blue Mercedes in a very "I'm Too Sexy" sort of way. He had long, light brown hair slicked back in ponytail and sparkling green eyes, plus he had a great tan! He was wearing an extremely expensive black suit with gold cuff links. He was wearing black because he thought it would make him blend in with the surroundings. He was extremely wrong about this and was getting many stares from people that passed him by.
"I, Derrick Morison, will most certainly find the last man to compete for the title 'Sexiest Man Alive,"he announced with a fist pumped in the air. His assistant, Cynthia, only pushed up her glasses and sighed. Derrick was a certifiable moron and she would prefer to work for someone smarter, but the pay was excellent and she really couldn't complain. Derrick worked as a host for special events and he would personally search the globe for some average men to compete for the "Sexiest Man Alive" award. Normally, he would choose someone from his own country--United States--and someone else would choose the foreigners, but it was different this time. He would make sure he chose who won and didn't win. They passed by an average, stern looking man and almost ran into him, but no damage was done.
"Sir, We already have every single...Sir?"
Cynthia stared at Derrick, who in turn was staring at the man they had almost bumped into. Derrick's eyes were as wide as saucers and his mouth was wide open. Shaking, he got out his cellphone and dialed a number. Cynthia only stared at him, surprised by his sudden behavior. He could be an idiot, but Derrick never acted like this.
"Yeah, Samsino, I found my last man,"he exclaimed excited, "Yeah, sure...See ya, bye."
As fast as lightning, he darted towards the man and started talking to him. The man got pissed off and angrily brushed him away before walking even faster. Derrick tried again, but got a more negative reaction. Seemingly giving up, he strutted back over to Cynthia and spat angrily.
"Cynthia, I want that guy to compete for the award,"he said, determined to get what he wanted. His assistant looked at him in surprise then at the disappearing figure. He wanted that man? That man was wearing an old t-shirt and ugly white pants. Not to mention he looked like he knew how to use a knife really well!
"But...Sir...Why?"
He whipped around in shock and shouted,"Look at his ass! Jeez, woman!"
Cynthia squinted and started looking, but didn't really register what he meant. She looked back up at him and shrugged. Derrick shook his head in disgust and angrily walked back to the car.
"Arrgghhh! His ass is so finely sculpted and shaped! It's a work of art!" Cynthia froze as she finally caught on to what he meant. This man was not serious, was he?
He...Wants that guy to compete....because of his...ass?!
Dumbfounded, she watched as he got his cellphone back out and dialed Samsino's number again. His green eyes twinkling, he cheerfully told him about the details of his find. Cynthia could barely hear Samsino assure him on the other end that he would get information about the man and convince him to compete.
"Good. I'll expect him in my office by next week."
The End...for now.
A/N: Yes, they were most certainly planning to do that kind of roleplay. I should have done the "show, don't tell" concept a little more with Derrick, but I didn't because I don't care. Uh...Yeah, Derrick and Cynthia belong to me...so does Samsino.
Too bad for me.
Next chapter should be up soon. Sorry about taking a bit longer than usual on this. That Mimori's diary fanfic really drained me. T_T
