Skip Beat! does not belong to me.

It should, though.

A/N: Too bad he can't enter the competition now.

--Skip Beat! Stories You Wish Will Never Come True--

Sexiest Man Alive Award Part 2

"You drive a hard bargain, Darumaya, but I'm gonna accept it,"Derrick cried, as he shook hands with Taisho. Said person only glared at him, prompting Derrick to assure him that he would indeed keep his promise and buy him that new ultra sharp knife set he had seen on television last week. The agreement was that the asshole--Derrick--would buy Darumaya the knife set if he entered the competition. Cynthia noted all of this in her notebook.

***************

"Yeah, I had to bribe the guy a bit, but he fell,"Derrick bragged over the phone. Samsino congratulated him, saying that it was a good thing the guy had believed the lie he told him. Cynthia rolled her eyes, disgusted with him. Actually, Derrick had to scream and beg to get him to enter, and it was only after that girl, Kyouko, suggested he go for it. The knife set was just the straw on the camel's back.

"Yeah...I know that...Kyookoo's boyfriend, Tsuroogush, will probably win the competition but I had to try." He smirked and hung up the phone. Looking at Cynthia, he winked and did a big thumbs up.

"Don't worry, Cyndi! T'was all me, anyway! You know I'm the greatest!"

He waved to her dramatically and break danced out of the room.

Cynthia's face hit the desk she was sitting at. She was beyond pissed off at this point.

That bastard...My name isn't Cyndi! I hate him! Hate, hate, hate!!!

***************

Said Kyookoo prepared the salad as her boyfriend, Tsuroogush, looked on. The look on her face was of annoyance and she opened her mouth to say something.

"Yes, I agree that Morison is extremely irritating...,"Ren muttered, looking up from the book he was reading. They had just gotten there earlier that day to briefly witness the annoyance that was Derrick Morison. Though, how they had managed to find time to actually go to the Darumaya residence earlier than planned was a complete mystery (it was the idea of a deranged and idiotic fangirl writing a craptastic fanfic.).

"Yes...that too, but I was really just annoyed that we can't go home,"his girlfriend muttered uneasily. Normally, she would be thrilled to visit the Darumaya couple, but she and Ren had been planning this night for a few months now. Ren raised his eyebrows at this comment, and promptly walked towards her. He wrapped his arms around her and chuckled. She blushed at the sudden contact.

"Ku-Ren, lay off,"she teased.

"That's not what you said last Tuesday when I came home from that particularly hot shoot for R Mandy." He leaned in to kiss her cheek when their stupid love-love moment was interrupted by some giggling. They simultaneously looked towards the door and saw Okami-san grinning. Ren quickly walked back over to his seat and pretended that nothing happened.

****************

"So, Tsuruga-kun, you'll be staying for dinner,"Okami-san cheerfully asked. Ren nodded, the "Gentleman's smile" in place. Kyouko rolled her eyes but didn't say anything. He caught this and smiled even brighter at his girlfriend. She stiffened and quickly looked the other way. Any more brighter and he'd probably become the demon king. After a while, everything was laid out on the table. They all--including Taisho--sat down and started eating. All was well, until Okami-san mentioned the Friday night cosplay event. That, dear readers, caused quite a bit of an uproar.

"Oh! Kyouko-chan, tonight's the big night, isn't it?" Okami-san grinned at the girl, Taisho and Ren gazing on blankly.

"Eh? What are you talking about,"she questioned.

"Remember? The Friday night cosplay event," Okami-san cheerfully replied. Taisho snorted and ate his rice, not wanting to get into what was about to happen. He already had to deal with that moron Morison and his manipulative friend, Samsino. He wasn't going to take part in the hell that was about to ensue. Besides, he wasn't really the type to tease Kyouko about her personal life. He was the type that liked to nag her about her personal life. Nagging wasn't the same as teasing--in his opinion.

"NO! NO! NO! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, OKAMI-SAN,"Kyouko yelled rather cheerfully in a very creepy way. All attention was brought upon the foolish girl and the older couple couldn't help but grin. Okami-san opened her mouth to say something, but Tsuruga-san's sudden, incessant coughing caught her off balance.

He probably hoped that it would be a good distraction, but what Tsuruga did not count on was choking...on a spoon. His face turned a deep red, then blue, then gradually purple. Every passing second that Kyouko and the Darumaya couple spent staring dumbly at him resulted in an even closer point to death for him. Even worse than death, at this point he would probably have to forfeit the "Sexiest Man Alive" competition. That would definitely be worse than death! His face was now an ugly purplish green and his eyes had rolled in the back of his head. Then, a bit of blood started trickling down his chin. The author wanted you to witness even more of his pain, but she feared she would have to change the rating of the fanfic, so Kyouko unfortunately caught on to the impending death he faced.

"Oh, crap! He's choking! Great, now we can't fu-,"she screamed. Ren started making odd gurgling noises before she finished saying what she was screaming.

"GAAARRRGGGGHHHSSSKKKK,"he choked--but it was a very sexy choke, mind you.

*****************

"Mr. Morison, you have a call from Mr. Samsino,"a stereotypical secretary said over the intercom. Derrick put down the glass of orange juice he was drinking and pushed the speaker phone button.

"Talk to meh, baby,"he exclaimed stylishly.

"Morison, we have a bit of an issue here..." Samsino's voice sounded tensed up, as if something terrible had happened. Derrick's eyes widened and he glanced at Cynthia. She shrugged, not knowing what was up either.

"Don't tell me that they cancelled the competition."

"No, and it isn't a competition. I don't know where you got that silly idea from," his friend replied irritably. Deciding to ignore his sudden change of character, Derrick asked what had happened.

"That guy, Ren Tsuruga, has to miss the awards ceremony,"he said.

"Why?! Did he cancel or something? This is the biggest event of the year,"Derrick cried.

"No, it isn't...That aside, he..."

"He what? Did he get into a car crash or something?"

"N-no....Nothing like that."

"Then what?!"

"He....He...Damn it all to hell! He choked on a spoon!"

Derrick got extremely quiet after hearing this. In his profession, he heard a lot of crazy stories--but never had he heard of this. He snickered, the snickering becoming louder until it was full blown laughter. Even Cynthia couldn't help but giggle a bit.

"So, since we still need a Japanese celebrity for the awards ceremony, I suggest using the singer Shou Fuwa,"Samsino finally exclaimed after they all got the laughing out of their system.

"Shou? Yeah, okay...He's got good looks, so he qualifies,"Derrick said cheerfully. With that taken care of, he then went to get the contact number of Akatoki Agency.

*****************

Meanwhile, as Fuwa Shou grabbed the mike for his latest live performance, he suddenly felt overjoyed for some reason. He let out a big cheer and smiled a dazzling smile for all the fans to see. They liked it quite a bit, and he had to pause before singing the song because they were screaming louder than usual.

I don't know why I'm suddenly happy, but I like it!

He would be notified of the awards ceremony shortly after the performance.

The End...for now.

A/N: I was starting to like Cynthia, so I made her an irritable bitch for my own good. The next part shouldn't take as long. I want to get the "Sexiest Man Alive Award" part of this fanfic over and done with...Because I've got a really good idea for another crappy fanfic up my sleeve. ^_^

Oh! I didn't actually expect anyone to review/favorite/alert this, but I'm surprised that people have--really...I am. -_- I do appreciate that a good bit, though. It makes me happy to know that people enjoy my story. Thanks so much.