Disclaimer: Skip Beat! does not belong to me.

A/N: My great-uncle is the inspiration for Taisho's attire in this part.

I am forever grateful to him.

-Skip Beat! Stories You Wish Will Never Come True-

Sexiest Man Alive Award Part 3

Fuwa Shou smirked and asked Derrick Morison again if Tsuruga Ren had really choked on a spoon. Stories like this were complete gold and if he sold this to the press, who knew what would happen to that guy. Inside his mind, however, he was humming a very different tune-well, it was the same tune, only a hell of a lot louder and more obnoxious.

I can't believe this! Tsuruga Ren really is that stupid! This is great! I'll sell this to the press as soon I get the chance! Bwahahahahahahaha!

Morison, who was seated directly across from him, only nodded, slightly irritated. He joked around that the kid had asked him the same question about three times already. It was worse than having Cynthia work for him during her "special time of the month". Shou stiffened at being called a kid, but refrained from saying anything else-lest he ruin his cool image. This Morison guy seemed like he had a sharp eye and might see through him if he say anything else about it. Actually, Derrick wouldn't notice his foot being sawed off unless someone pointed it out. He only noticed what he wanted to or what he really needed to-which in reality was what he wanted but thought he needed.

Regardless, the meeting continued, until Shouko pointed out that Shou had an upcoming interview to get to. Noting this, Cynthia called up Derrick and informed him of it. A few minutes later, Shou walked into the room that Shouko was waiting in and sighed irritably.

I never thought I would say this...but that damn guy pisses me off more than Tsuruga and Beagle combined.

Shouko was not in the brightest mood herself-she had literally been pushed out of the meeting to contend with Cynthia yapping about how much Morison was a dimwit. The manager wondered why the assistant complained about him so much. From what she had heard, Morison paid extremely well-too well, actually. Deciding to leave it at that, she and Shou walked out to his car and drove off.

"Shou...What did Morison tell you in there,"Shouko asked.

"Basically the same thing the president told me about,"he replied.

"So, the awards ceremony begins in about three days." Shouko sighed and looked out the passenger window at the passing people and objects.

In any case, the chances of Shou actually winning this competition aren't very high. People from around the world watch this awards cermony.

She froze as the vehicle stopped at an extremely nice chocolate shop. Miraculously, no one mobbed him as he walked in the shop. Be it the power of an idiot fangirl.

Knock! Knock!

"Fwoo isshh itt ,"Ren asked groggily.

"It's me, your lover!"

"Kyoomoo? Youz voize sunds too weirdddzz."

Shou walked in and laughed. Tsuruga Ren sounded ridiculous and he looked the part too. He had a band-aid on his neck where they had amputated the spoon out of. The band-aid was the kind you would buy from the pharmacy aisle in a supermarket. Shou just stared at it for a minute in disbelief.

Why didn't they just stick their hand down his mouth and yank it out?

"No, bitch. It's me! Fuwa Shou, your lover's friend!"

Shou laughed and walked over to the nearest chair and sat down. He grinned and handed Ren the box of chocolates and a little gadget then told him to speak through it.

"So, just in case this is actually a fanfic, people won't have to deal with deciphering its unreadable crap,"he explained. Ren looked at him dubiously, but put the device on anyways.

"Hoowwwssshhh-How did you know I was in the hospital,"he asked.

"That moron Morison told me about what happened," Shou replied, smirking.

His rival froze up as he realized that Shou knew about him choking on a spoon.

Shoot. Knowing him, he'll tell the press about it in a second.

"Relax...I won't say anything to the press...,"Shou assured him. Ren relaxed and smiled, happy that Shou wouldn't say anything to the press.

"...If you let me take Kyouko out to dinner next week after the awards ceremony,"he slyly finished. Ren instantly looked at him in shock and disgust. Unfortunately, the machine he was attached to sensed that his heart-rate was going up. The machine went haywire as Ren got angrier and angrier. Finally, the nurses ran in and hectically called for the doctor, who ran in with some extra strength medicine and a lollipop.

"Waisshh, Shouzzhhhh,"Tsuruga croaked as Shou strolled out the room.

"Waisshh? I guess that's a yes,"Shou exclaimed. He cheerfully walked out the hospital doors and into his car. Driving off, he smiled intensely.

I am too smart for my own good sometimes.

The day of the awards ceremony had begun...

Incredibly sexy men from around the globe were hoping that they would be crowned "Sexiest Man Alive". They came from around the globe and they were all epically sexy.

"Ladies and gentlemen! THIS-IS-IT,"screamed a stereotypical actress wearing a stereotypical dress.

Derrick smiled as the candidates walked out. 19 beautiful men dressed in extremely expensive suits strutted out, but the last had not arrived. Finally, the man he had especially picked walked out as well. He had on gray sweatpants, neon pink sandals, and a dirty old t-shirt with a tie attached to it. He walked over to Derrick and glared.

"I dressed up like you said, Morison-san,"Taisho angrily said. Derrick grinned and said the outfit was stylish enough. The older man turned away and stomped back next Fuwa Shou, who was cringing at what the old man was wearing. Derrick had a similar expression on his face as Taisho turned his back to him.

Ugh! He'll lose for sure! Ha! He isn't going to get those knives from me now!

Derrick laughed and gazed at the stereotypical actress. She waited for the audience to calm down and cleared her throat.

"My name is Steria Tapioca and I will be your host for this year's...,"she paused after saying this for added effect. The crowd got silent...

"...SEXIEST MAN ALIVE AWARD!"

The audience's screaming and cheering was deafening. The men all smiled politely, save for Taisho-who only gave each person a death glare.

Regardless, the awards ceremony had begun.

For 19 men, it meant complete heartbreak, but for one man: It meant international fame.

The End...almost.

A/N: The next part will be the last part in this. The misspelled words were intentional. Not the funniest I've typed, but...

Is it wrong that I absolutely adored Shou in this?