A/N: I do apologize for taking so long to update. The grandmother in this fanfic is an exaggerated version of my late great-grandmother. I miss her so much. :( I have decided the Grandma Fuwa story will be split into two parts. The next part will be up shortly...as in a week or so. -_-

Disclaimer: Skip Beat! does not belong to me.

Because my super secret plan has not...wait-crap!

A/N: This is a story about a delightful woman named Fuwa Sakiko. I hope you love her as much as I didn't. Any major grammatical errors are intentional. Any others will be dealt with accordingly.

-Skip Beat! Stories You Wish Will Never Come True-

Fun With Grandma Fuwa Part One

Mogami Kyouko got out her old book of fairy tales and turned to page 32. She started reading about Cinderella and had a goofy, dreamy expression as she got to the part when the prince danced with Cinderella. She did not notice the old woman that was directly behind her, breathing raspily as she smoked her sixteen cigarette of the day. The breathing got louder, until finally the woman yelled, "Girl! Stop reading those nonsensical fairy tales and massage my feet!" Kyouko promptly turned around and shrieked when she saw Grandma Fuwa's crusty, mildewy, and smelly feet just two inches from her face. The child screamed with such force that it knocked the poor woman down. Grandma Fuwa got up slowly and glared at little Kyouko.

"Child...It's behavior like that that will get you nowhere in life...,"she said in a raspy voice, dripping yellow saliva on the extremely expensive carpet.

"Wh-What do you mean, Grandma Fuwa,"the little girl asked innocently. Her grandmother-or rather, Shou-chan's grandmother-started to speak but decided against saying what she truly wanted to say.

I can't tell this foolish child what I really want to say. I couldn't tell her, "No, you'll never get anywhere in life if you continue to hang around that self-centered grandson of mine."

Her best approach would be to say something nicer-or rather, something a bit more structured. Nice wasn't exactly a word that Sakiko was accustomed to using, after all.

"What do you want to be when you grow up, girl,"she finally asked, looking down at the six-year-old's face.

Kyouko was quiet for a moment, then her eyes lit up wildly and Sakiko could have sworn she saw hearts and twinkly stars surround her.

Oh, hell...Not this.

Before she even said anything, the old woman knew what her answer would be.

"A princess! Shou-chan will be my prince and we'll rule the land, hand in hand! Next to the Kingdom of the Fairies-"

I was right...Why did the child suddenly stop?
Kyouko was very quiet and she looked down at the ground, muttering something about "Corn", whoever she was.

"Girl!"

She jumped at the sound of Grandma Fuwa's voice and timidly looked up at her.

"You will never become a princess! If you continue down the path chosen for you, you will end up an old maid! Alone, angry, and miserable!"

An alone, angry, and miserable Kyouko looked down at the chopstick she had just picked up off the ground and angrily shook her head.

I can't believe Grandma Fuwa was right...And I just thought that after thinking about that kiss! N-no, that couldn't be thought of as a kiss! That was a bastard vacuuming my mouth with his tongue!

"Um...Kyouko-chan,"a voice hesitantly called out. She looked up and saw herself facing Yashiro-san and Tsuruga-san. She put on a cheerful face and told them she had found her chopstick. She excused herself to get another chopstick and went away, her angry face back in place.

"So, she hasn't forgotten about it after all,"Yashiro sighed. Ren raised his eyebrows and looked down at the substance he was being forced to eat. Could there be anything that could get her out of her angry stupor?

"At the moment, probably not,"he absently said aloud. His manager looked at him and nodded, obviously not realizing what Ren actually meant.

A woman wearing a very ugly kimono stepped out of a junky car and stomped towards the door of LME. Not heeding the warnings of any of the staff, she walked up the flights of steps and barged into President Takarada's private office. Lory, who was wearing a pink flamingo get-up, stared at her for a moment, then grinned.

"Ah, Sakiko-san...You're as blunt as usual,"he said cheerfully, motioning for her to sit down in the chair opposite of him.

"Ah, child, you're as predictable as usual,"Sakiko said mockingly. She got her purse and slammed him across the head, stunning the poor man.

"Get yer ass outta my seat, child,"she snarled. A secretary came in and was about to ask what the problem was, but dear Sakiko had already spritzed the woman with extra strength pepper spray. The woman left, crying and screaming like a baby. By then, Sakiko had gotten her desired seat.

"Sakiko-san, I need your help...It concerns Mogami Kyouko,"Lory murmured, cleaning his profusely bleeding head with a dirty, old rag. The old woman raised an eyebrow, but did not say anything. She already knew what Kyouko and Shou had done a year ago, after all.

A woman does not spend 113 years on this damn Earth and come away with nothing.

She vaguely watched as the president reached for a tissue paper in order to stop the increasingly alarming wound.

I knew that those two would shack up sooner or later.

She shook the thought away and looked back at Lory, who was starting to get quite faint. She stared at him for a moment, then sighed.

"Oh, shit. Grandma's sorry, child...She forgot that her handbag had a sharp, broken bottle in it."

"Yea...You'd do well...to..re...member that."

Lory was unable to say anything else as Sakiko walked over towards him and kissed the wounded area.

"There you go, Grandma Fuwa made you feel all better,"she rasped, mucus flying out of her mouth.

It, of course, failed to actually improve the man's condition. Not that it really mattered, since Lory was now on the ground and the secretary from earlier had just called for help.

Now then...I'm off to go to Tsuruga Ren's dressing room!

Like she said, a woman does not spend 113 years on Earth and come away with nothing!

****Twenty minutes later****

Sakiko could see the handsome youth escorting Kyouko to his dressing room. The man very obviously gave a "thumbs up" to a fanboy with glasses, who was currently squealing like an idiot. The old woman looked around at the cast and crew in disbelief. She barked to get their attention and they all jumped.

"Y-yes, Fuwa-san?" They had all instantly been told who she was the moment she arrived.

"Tsuruga Ren is a man desired by the women of Japan, right?"

The nervous crowd nodded rapidly and some of the female cast and crew sighed dramatically.

"Yet you don't mind him going into his private dressing room with his favorite kouhai?"

"Well, Fuwa-san, Tsuruga-kun has never actually mentioned Kyouko-chan being his favorite,"one of the actresses playing a friend of Mizuki's whispered.

"I watch Dark Moon's extras and I see how Tsuruga looks at her."

"What ever do you mean, Fuwa-chan,"the fanboy asked innocently.

"Don't call me Fuwa-chan, Four-Eyes,"Sakiko barked.

The fanboy cowered and muttered, "So that's who he gets it from."

Luckily for Yashiro, the old woman was too busy thinking about the extras in Dark Moon to actually hear that last part.

Actually, the extras in that particular drama are extremely shitty. Just some flimsy bloopers and cast interviews.

Sakiko left it at that and prepared to entered the actor's dressing room.

"Noooooo! Fuwa-san, Ren is eating a cookie! You won't like him when he is eating a cookie!"

She ignored the cast and crew and barged into Tsuruga Ren's dressing room.

She would later admit that the scene that she witnessed while entering that room would haunt her for the rest of her life.

-The End...for now-