There will be an entirely different story next time.
Disclaimer: Skip Beat! does not belong to me.
Each and every night I pray that this will change...*sniff*
A/N: The most random chapter I have ever typed. Oh my, I can't tell you how wonderful it is to finally be able to express my randomness!
-Skip Beat! Stories You Wish Will Never Come True-
Kyouko's Delightful Day
Mogami Kyouko was having the most wonderful dream of her life. In it, she had finally become more popular than Shoutaro. She was celebrating with all of her friends, but somehow Shou was there anyway.
"So, Shoutaro, how does it feel knowing that I beat you," she tauntingly exclaimed.
Her childhood friend just smirked and lazily replied, "Well, since this is just a dream, I guess don't have anything to worry about, eh?"
"What? Are you saying I'll never beat you for real,"she shouted.
"Yeah, what of it? In truth, you're just a plain and boring woman." With that he laughed and turned into a bunch of tacky neon pink handbags and broken bottles. The next moment, she felt something slam repeatedly against her shoulders.
"Get the hell up, child!"
She woke with a start to find herself facing Fuwa Sakiko, who had recently become her manager. Fuwa-san was actually quite an efficient and responsible woman and really did make a good manager. However, her spirit and temper was a force to be reckoned with. She was indeed one of the main reasons why Kyouko and Shou had left for Tokyo. Shou was not about to marry Kyouko and become Grandma Fuwa's personal foot masseur. Kyouko, on the other hand, just wanted to get away from her because the old woman terrified the shit out of her.
"Oh my god! What the hell,"Kyouko screeched. Sakiko snorted and handed her plate that had a bowl of oatmeal and some prune juice on it.
"Child, you have to arrive at the Ruckus "B" location in one hour, get ready!"
"Okay, but it's called Box "R", Grandma Fuwa."
"What the fu-woof-ever! It could be called the fu-moo- ng High Dollar Chicken "R" and I wouldn't give a rats a-meow-!" She whipped her head around and instantly threw a glass bottle at Okami-san, who had been the one making the animal sounds whenever the old woman said a foul word. The recipient fell with a sickening thud and her eyes rolled around in a comical sort of way.
-About two hours later-
"Would you like to come over with me and my friends to the karaoke bar, Chitose-san," Natsu sweetly asked.
"Um...Well, I'd love to, but I have to babysit tonight,"the redhead replied.
"I'll give you a cookie."
"Sorry, but no."
"She'll give you two cookies,"Kaori exclaimed.
"I'm sorry, the answer is no."
"I'll give you a manicure along with the cookies,"Tsugumi chided.
"I mean it, no!"
"I'll dip your head in acid and gleefully watch as you gargle your way to sudden death,"Yumika cheerfully exclaimed.
"Wait-what?"
"I'll give you ten cookies and my expensive nail polish in "Bubble Gum Fairy Princess Pink","the black haired girl screeched.
"Yes, just please god come over," Tsugumi screamed.
"I can't live without bullying someone-uh, I mean...making friends,"Kaori whined.
"Yes, what they said,"Natsu said dully.
"Uh...Okay, I'll neglect my personal responsibilities to hang out with you!"
"CUT! That was excellent, ladies. I could really sense a deep scene start to unfold. That was quite possibly the most serious scene we will ever film,"Director Anna exclaimed. The guy next to him nodded in agreement and they started whispering excitedly to each other.
"AHEM!"
They turned to face Kyouko's manager and asked what the problem was. Grandma Fuwa angrily rolled her eyes and said," The problem is that-she pointed at Kyouko's skirt-is much too short! It should come down to her feet! It's way too slutty for an innocent little girl who was deflowered by Tsuruga Ren just last week!"
Makino and Sudo did a double take at Kyouko, who was still in Natsu-mode, and asked, "Y-you didn't really...You and him..." The young woman looked at them dubiously for a moment, then slowly smiled.
"Actually, we did. It was the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me." She watched, amused, as the girls' mouths dropped open. Everyone instantly started listening to the conversation.
She continued, "In fact, we have already done it three times since then. I just can't get enough of him. I just never knew what a man really was until he bore it all." The conversation continued but the author of this fanfic was unable to go any further because it would have been M-rated. That hurt the fanfic writer deeply and she had to take a moment to console herself.
"Ren, what is this,"Yashiro murmured, his voice starting to shake. He handed the actor the latest issue of Boost (a tabloid magazine) and pointed to the headline "Ren Tsuruga Finds Love: His Story of Deep, Fiery Passion with Kyouko". Ren's eyes widened and he tore the magazine out of his manager's hands and began to read the article.
Cover Story: Ren Tsuruga Finds Love: His Story of Deep, Fiery Passion with Kyouko
Boost has finally gotten the story of a lifetime on the elusive actor! Apparently, he and Kyouko-a newbie actress-have decided to fill each other with lust and passion-
A disgusted Ren set the magazine down and looked down at the cover, which had a picture of a fat guy dressed like him. His "mask" fell off, and he gazed down at the tabloid with a chilling, brutal look. Yukihito caught a glimpse of it and shrieked.
Crap, crap, crap! But how did they find out about that? Wait-why am I thinking something happened? All he did was kiss her on the cheek!
The poor man wore himself silly the rest of the day trying to sort everything out.
"What the hell is this,"a fabulous international heartthrob singing sensation in the making shouted. Shou read the contents of the latest issue of the extremely reliable and always honest Boost and roared. His manager ran in and hurriedly asked what the problem was.
"This,"he retorted, handing her the magazine. She read the article, her expression getting more and more doubtful as she read it.
"Shou, this isn't true. There's no way that would happen."
"He's on the cover, though!"
"That's not even him. It's just a fat guy in a wig and designer knockoffs."
"Bullshit, if that's not him then my name is really Shoutaro."
"Um, then your name must be Shoutaro, because that is definitely not him."
He chose to ignore that comment and motioned for her to follow him. Walking outside, they got into the van and drove off.
"Um, Shou, where do you want me to go,"his manager asked hesitantly.
"To the same place where I bought Kyouko those flowers and the chocolate!"
You may have won battle, but you haven't won the war!"
Shoko sighed and rolled her eyes. There was just no arguing with this boy. So they drove off into the smog filled sunset, while all the fangirls cheered.
Reino's eyes shot open and he shot up from his coffin. There was a disturbance in the force, as if the world itself was being thrown off balance. He sniffed and gazed around at the interior of the room, but didn't really register it. Miroku looked up from the book he was looking at and asked what the problem was.
"My Kyouko-senses are tingling," he replied. They were sending him one message: She was terrified beyond belief. Using his powers, he was able to find out what happened to the girl. After watching the scene unfold, he quietly closed his eyes and seemed lost in thought.
Finally, he softly said, "That woman, Sakiko, is the most incredible person I have ever seen in action."
"What did she do?"
"She made a chain out of Kyouko's demons and whipped them around Tsuruga Ren, while simultaneously beating him with a steel cane, and threw glass bottles at this suspicious looking reporter."
Never again would he ever desire Kyouko, since there was someone even more deranged than she was.
Life was good.
-The End-
A/N: Will Shou manage to triumph over Ren? Will Yashiro get everything situated? Will Natsu ever give Chitose a cookie? Will Reino ever confess his undying love to Grandma Fuwa? The world may never know.
