Disclaimer: Skip Beat! does not belong to me.
What a shame.
A/N: Someone thought that Ren might be given a doll as a birthday present. After making my own humble response and suggestion to that, I merely took the initial thought and warped it into a crappy fanfic.
--Skip Beat! Stories You Wish Will Never Come True--
My Plastic Goddess
It was her exact size. The doll stood about 5'4", complete with 1,000,000,000,005 different outfits and several different changeable facial expressions. Ren could scarcely breathe for fear of terrifying the maker of the realistic doll she had made of herself. Not to mention it was totally amazing she had managed to fit it all into that small package! It was the most realistic false rendition of Mogami Kyouko that the actor had ever seen, and it was his birthday gift! He could scarcely believe his gorgeous, pencil drawn eyes!!!
Should I dress her up as "Schoolgirl Kyouko" or "Magical Fairy Princess Cindy" (as depicted by the small descriptions sewn on each outfit)?
He chose the schoolgirl outfit and began to put the outfit on Kyouko. Then, without hesitation, the entranced man started to make out with it.
"Oh, Kyouko baby, I never wanna leave you ever, ever, ever again!"
He slobbered all over her plastic lips, tasting the sweetness of the plastic that had sculpted her stick body. Then, he picked out some more outfits and changed her look into "Psycho School Bitch Natsu".
"Oh, Ren baby! You're sooo much nicer than any other guy,"Ren as Kyouko gushed in an unnaturally high voice.
"Yush, dat is right, now give Sweet Daddy a smooch."
With that, "Kyouko" gently kissed him with her elegant, painted on lips, being careful not to let the "Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of Grudge Law" tag inserted into her body come loose. Ren was having a lot fun with this new and fun toy.
--Ten Glorious, Lovey Dovey Days Later--
"Mogami-san, I want to break up," Ren said after dinner with his plastic lover, who had just lost her plastiginity the night before.
"UH, LOLWUT?!" His beautiful plastic Aphrodite turned away, crying tears of water as she asked why.
"It's not working out between us...You're too fake."
"But, I'm real enough for you," his distraught lover moaned.
"No it isn't that..."
"Then what??!!"
Ren looked at her for a moment, and then told her the exact reason why.
"I just feel like this is a one-sided relationship. I'm the only one who ever says romantic things, I'm the only one who ever takes the initiative in the relationship. It's almost as if you are a lifeless doll."
"That's because it is, dumbass,"an extremely popular singer retorted. Ren looked up to see Fuwa Shou and gasped. The singer had apparently been following him for the last few days for unspecified reasons.
"How dare you insult my queen, Fuwa," he screeched.
Shou rolled his eyes and pounded the table with his fists. The doll fell over from its chair and hit the concrete floor.
"She-is-a-plastic-doll-of-the-woman-whose-pants-you-want-to-"
"-try on! Yes, I want to try on Mogami-san's pants. They are very pretty pants, yes?!!"
Shou pounded Ren across the head, and dragged him and the doll to LME, where he was certain they would love to hear exactly what had occurred the entire time the man and his plastic lover had been together.
Tsuruga Ren is nuts, and I am totally full of win.
--The End--
A/N: I still want his birthday gift to be a piece of chicken.
