Disclaimer: Skip Beat! does not belong to me.

A/N: I've always wanted to write an AUFic! Oh, wait-

Oh, and this story will probably scar you for life. Both Fuwa and Tsuruga fans probably won't like it. T_T

-Skip Beat! Stories You Wish Will Never Come True-

Alternate Universe Skip Beat!

It was a great day for AU Kyouko. The birds were chirping and her construction hat was on tight around her long, flowing black head of hair. It had originally been orange, but she had dyed it black because she was awesome like that. No, actually, it was because her two timing boyfriend, Tsuruga Ren, totally broke her heart by going out with his manager, Aki Shouko, behind her back!

"That jerk,"she yelled as she filled in a crack in the ground with cement. Her mentor, Fuwa Shou, grinned at her and told her that she didn't have to do anything else anymore.

"I'm concerned about your safety and I respect your boundaries, Mogami-san,"he cheerfully explained.

"But, I just got here...It would be unethical to quit now,"Kyouko replied.

"Look, woman, take a break or I'll buy you a huge bouquet of girly flowers and a piece of gourmet chocolate then make out with you in front of everyone!"

They were both quiet for a moment, then they burst into laughter. Kyouko knew that her respected mentor would never do such a thing. He was much too concerned about his employees rather than himself to do something so manipulative. Hell, he was voted most likable in the "What If You're All Actually Fictional Characters?" Popularity Contest.

"Okay, Shou. I'll take a break just for you,"she said grinning. She would never use honorifics. That was just ridiculous and since she was AU, she definitely wouldn't use it! He smiled and went back to work. He was three hours early, because he always believed in the saying,"The early bird gets the worm." Of course, he definitely didn't like to eat worms, and was much too bishounen to eat a worm, regardless of whether he was the nicest boss in the world (which he is!) or the biggest asshole on the planet (which he totally isn't!).

They were all working on filling cracks in the pavement and shit when they heard a loud belch and Kyouko and Shou both whipped around only to see Tsuruga Ren, who was munching on some potato chips and drinking a huge bottle of be-soda. The author wanted to tell you how big the soda was, but she thought you could use your imagination if you had one! The author was then throw out a window for insulting her darling readers! So, anyways, Ren was eating those chips and munching on an incredibly huge hamburger, which was actually very huge. About the size of someone's entire face and then some! And it was filled with a lot of dripping grease! He grinned lazily at Kyouko, his beer belly wobbling every which way.

"Hey, toots! Nice *burp* legs,"he said in a raspy voice. She flipped him off and went back to work. She and Shou started talking amongst themselves, until Shou felt a thud against his back and he fell with an "oomph!" Kyouko whirled around and screamed,"The hell did you do that for, ex-boyfriend?"

"Come back to me, baby! Shouko was just my on-the-side girlfriend! Ain't you ever heard of them there types of girlfriends,"he cried. He was so enthralled with talking to her and using bad grammar that he did not notice Shou get up and swing a beam at his head. It hit Ren's head with a squelch and something happened that the author of this fanfic was loathe to describe because it would have instantly caused some people to lose their lunch (and by that, I mean barf).

"Ugh...Shou, you didn't have to ki-teach him a lesson that hard,"Kyouko complained, trying very hard to be serious. He grinned and said,"What are you talking about, Mogami-san? He's already gone." He kicked the corp-still breathing body down the sewer pipe thing and about five minutes later, they heard another indescribable sound. Kyouko rolled her eyes and shook her head. Living in an alternate universe certainly had its ups and downs!

Well, it was just another day at Fuwa Construction, after all!

-The End...forever-

A/N: That was a great story! I need to update this one more often. Blech...Grease is gross. I always blot out the grease from my pizza with a napkin