Disclaimer: Skip Beat! does not belong to me.
-Skip Beat! Stories You Wish Will Never Come True-
Kyouko Finds A Fanfic
Mogami Kyouko screamed as a large object hit her head. For whatever reason, a Skip Beat! fanfic novel had landed in the universe of Skip Beat! It was about 600 pages long and possibly incomplete. The name of it was Blossoming Until Bloomed and it was about...her and Tsuruga-san!
"What sort of monster would write such a thing?"
She peered closer at the name of the author and it read: TohkoxKetsueki.
"Now, why does that name make me think of someone who isn't 100% committed to ever finishing anything aside from a one-shot?"
She didn't know why, but she was very curious to see just what evils were in this fanfic about Pure Girl Kyouko and Tsuruga-sama.
"It was midnight and Kyouko was clothed in a silky dress the color of emeralds. It fit well on her slender body and she hoped ever so much that her beloved Shou-"
"WHAT THE F***!"
She was going to slay this witch with the power of Ten Billion Grudges! Hissing, Kyouko frightened anyone who dared cross her path (she was in the middle of the road in a town stalked by papparazi). She didn't know how she managed or why she wanted to, but she continued to read the horror story.
Six long, grueling hours later...
" Kyouko knew now how she felt about her tall and handsome employer and moaned,'I am in love with Tsuruga-sama, even though I am his maid and our passion will most certainly not bloom into anything at all. My heart burns to love a man so perfect as he, with such a glowing and gentlemanly smile!' "
Kyouko thought weakly that this imposter clearly had problems. Even if-God forbid-she ever realized she loved Tsuruga-san, she certainly wouldn't act like that!
"Chapter 32: The Return Of Her Old Lover..."
Apparently, Shoutaro got to show up again.
Well, hopefully it is a glorious scene where I strangle him!
"...Kyouko gazed in the eyes of her old employer and whispered sweet nothings of immense passion. But, they were all cleverly crafted lies. Shou-sama couldn't possibly realize they would never have a secret relationship again. However, as his warm lips hit hers again, she found herself getting lost in those deeply seductive eyes of his. "
Somehow, Kyouko swore, she would find out just where this idiot lived and she would make sure that the only fanfics this person ever wrote were ones about stupid situations that people wished would never come true! Also, it would be called "Skip Beat! Stupid Situations That People Wish Would Never Come True". For now, she would go back to Darumaya and see if Okami-san and Taisho needed any help.
However, they certainly did not need any help.
"No dear, we are actually planning on closing shop early simply so that the story can progress and you can continue to read the fanfic and the author can laugh at your angst,"Okami-san exclaimed.
"What did you say?"
"What?"
Kyouko sighed, just assuming that reading that romantic literature had fried her brain. Which is exactly why she picked the story back up and continued to read it!
"She had been found out and as that hateful employer chained her to the toilet, she screamed,'I will never love you again, Tsuruga-sama!' But, he only laughed and murmured,'Tsuruga Ren died a long time ago, Sweet Cheeks. My true name is Joshi Doshi and you will always be my slave!'"
Well, at least there seems to be some action. Hopefully, the imposter will realize that the man is evil and kick him where it really hurts!
She ended up falling deeply in love with the abusive demon-kind of like the typical love story heroine.
Kyouko trudged on, determined to see this until the end.
"...It couldn't be! Tsuruga-sama was actually Shoutaro-sama's father and Joshi Doshi was Tsuruga-sama's other personality formed after years of repressing his true self...Hizuri Kuon, the heir to the Hizuri Estate!"
Laughing weakly, Kyouko guessed that T.K. was running out of ideas when she got to this point.
"...'Using the power of my love, I will form a barrier protecting the men I love from you, Joshi Doshi!' Kyouko had had it! She was through being this monster's slave and she was determined to free both of the men she cared about! Ren-sama and Shou-sama would be unchained from this evil threat and they would all live together in harmony."
Thankfully, 57 chapters back, it had been revealed that Ren and Shou were not related at all.
Much to the relief of the lovestruck imposter.
"Chapter 199: Secrets Revealed..."
It seemed the awful story would reach its conclusion very soon and Kyouko eagerly looked forward to the end.
" 'I can't believe it, my awe inducing lovers! I will forever belong to both of you! Do whatever you'd like to me,'Kyouko screamed. Shou and Ren grinned and said in a familiar raspy voice at the same time,'Oh, don't worry, baby...We're gonna have a real wild time!' Joshi Doshi was in both of them now!...To Be Continued"
Kyouko flipped to the next page and saw nothing. The story had ended off right there and had not been updated in over a year.
"I hate her so much," she snarled before passing out.
-The End-
A/N: I really shouldn't self-insert, but, does it actually count when you're making yourself out to be a moron and the story itself barely qualifies as actual literature? Oh, and I will never actually write such a ridiculous story-aside from the ones I already write, of course.
