I hope you're all alright and healthy and mastering this pandemic. My work is finally slowing down a bit and I'm trying to get back to writing. I hope you like the new chapter and leave me a review :)

SEARCHING: I'm currently searching for a beta reader. Mainly I need someone to help with grammar and spelling mistakes and maybe exchanging ideas. PM me or leave a comment if you're interested.

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WHAT IF

Chapter 31 - Sudden Clarity

Angelina had had the brilliant idea to go for a walk in a nearby park in Muggle London and Fred couldn't have been happier about it. The crisp autumn weather was a nice change from the bustling heat of the shop, there was a pleasant wind and thankfully no rain in sight. It was a good atmosphere for having a serious talk.

"So, George called you with the Patronus?" Fred said just to open the conversation.

Since leaving the shop Angelina hadn't said much and he guessed she was as nervous about this as he was even though she had radiated utter confidence and bravado when she entered the flat.

Fred himself was still emotionally shaken from Hermione's letter. He tried to focus on Angelina but the Hermione and Ron problem was still fresh in his mind. The fresh air had helped a bit to clear his head but his stupid heart still weighed a thousand tons.

"Yeah," Angelina smiled slightly. "I guess he thought it's a good idea to finally clear the air between us." There was a thick awkwardness hanging between them. After a moment Fred realised the reason. They were alone, just the two of them. No George. The last time they had been alone together had been-

He shook his head slightly to get rid of the image of a topless, braless Angelina. It seemed so weird now, after everything that had happened, to think the two of them ever had any feelings for each other. Saw each other as something different as friends. That there had ever been something like passion between them.

Fred's ears suddenly heated up and he just knew they were a brilliant red. He was rather embarrassed now, mortified how he could have ever see Angelina this way.

"Well," he cleared his throat. "Maybe I should start." Angelina threw him a thankful smile and nodded.

"Angelina, you're a wonderful person. You're funny and smart and witty and overall the perfect catch. But as you probably guessed we're not really made for each other and-"

"Fred," there was an amused glint in Angelina's eyes. "Don't you think it's a bit late for a break-up and the whole letting me down gently speech?"

"Yes, of course." Fred sighed, not able to sort his thoughts. In his head, it had sounded a lot better, more logical. "I'm a prat and I don't know where to start."

"Then let me start." She smiled. "I actually had the time to prepare myself mentally for this while you were just dragged away from work by surprise. Can hardly blame you for being a bit overwhelmed."

"Please," Fred sighed. "End my misery and I swear I will try to sort my stupid brain."

And mainly get the Hermione misery on the backburner, for now, he added silently.

Fred was bloody grateful for George intervening and calling Angelina, giving them finally an opportunity to sort everything out. But did it have to be right now? Right after he got a letter with the most devastating news ever.

Backburner, he harshly reminded himself.

"Let's sit," Angelina pulled him out of his head and onto a nearby bench. She took a deep breath.

"Originally I didn't want to date you," she closed her eyes. "When we met - you and George and me - we clicked. You know what I mean. We were friends from the very first day and always felt safe with you two around. Sure, you were annoying brats with your pranks but you were always good friends. When you started flirting with me I didn't take it seriously. When you asked me out for the Yule Ball I thought we were going as friends. I mean, we were friends for almost six years and suddenly you showed interest?"

She took a deep breath while Fred almost forgot breathing. It had never occurred to him how Angelina had her own side of this story.

"But you were charming and so, so persistent – in a good way. And whenever I brushed your flirting off or shut down an invitation Alicia would ask me why. Why I didn't want to date you. After a while, I realised there was no real reason. And I started to notice you more. Not as a friend but as someone interested in me. Someone who saw me as a girl and not just a housemate, friend or teammate. It changed my perspective on you."

There was a long pause while Angelina still had her eyes closed, maybe waiting for him to say something. So he did.

"It was similar to me," Fred confessed. And as he uttered the words he felt a huge weight lifted from his shoulders. It was guilt. Guilt over wooing and dating Angelina while George was in love with her. Guilt for dating her while his heart was never really engaged. He only realised how shallow his feelings for her had been after their break-up but the guilt was there nonetheless.

Curiously Angelina opened her eyes. "How? You always seemed awfully sure of yourself. And you never gave up, you were never discouraged."

"Well, when I finally made the decision I was sure but before…" Fred hummed slightly. "Didn't George tell you about it? About why I was dating you in first place?" Angelina shook her head and looked more than a bit confused. Fred once again asked himself what the two of them had done or talked about when she had spent the night a few weeks ago.

"You remember the dung bombs in the Quidditch shower, back in the fifth year?"

Angelina's disgusted face was answer enough. A grin twitched at the corner of his mouth as he remembered this masterpiece of a prank. Two dozens of dung bombs strategically placed in every shower stall to get the maximum effect. Of course, they had only set them off after the Slytherin practice. But the smell had polluted the stalls for weeks which made George and him enemy number one for every Quidditch player at Hogwarts. Totally worth it.

"Okay, so please promise me not to hold it against George but he may have seen your soul mark when the placed the dung bombs. And he may have mistakenly thought you were my soulmate."

"You thought we were soulmates?" Her eyes grew big in surprise. Yeah, it seemed like George really hadn't managed to talk about anything important with Angelina.

"Yes," he sighed. "I was sceptical because George's and my mark look so similar but George was so, so sure. You know," Fred tried a grin. "I was right and didn't even gloat about it to Georgie until now."

Angelina tried a weak smile but Fred knew that the revelation had shocked her more than she let on. Definitely not the right time for some jokes, he decided and focused back on telling her the whole, damned story.

"George was so convinced about it he started to bug me about dating you. For months. It was seriously the most annoying time of my life. But somehow he convinced me. When I finally started to flirt with you I was as sure as George about it that's why I was so persistent. But originally it was the same for me as for you. I didn't want to date you because I had never thought about you this way…"

Angelina had closed her eyes again and her lips were in a thin line. Fred wasn't sure what was going inside of her. If his words hurt her or if she just tried to stay calm while listening to the combined stupidity of George's and his mistakes.

"It was only when I started to think about the possibility of us as soulmates. Then I started to notice you. Not only as a housemate, teammate and friend but as a girl. As I said, Angie, you're funny and smart and witty and the perfect catch. It was easy to fall for you as soon as I started to think about it."

Fred had expected all kinds of reactions from Angelina. He thought she would be angry. Maybe hex him and then run off to hex George too - him maybe twice for taking a peek. Or maybe she would laugh, would think it something typically stupid and forgive them. Or she would be relieved to finally get an explanation for all this chaos.

Her first reaction was to punch him – hard – against the arm. Not really surprising. Her second reaction was a short hysteric laugh; followed by a rather sarcastic you two are such idiots.

And then Angelina started to cry. Fred hadn't expected her to cry.

Angelina broke out into heavy, heart-wrenching sobs with big tears rolling down her cheeks. It was like something invisible inside of her had suddenly snapped and opened the floodgates.

It was a full-blown mess and Fred was completely out of his depth. Never before had he seen Angelina cry. Not even back in the second year when a bludger hat dislocated her shoulder during a Quidditch match against Ravenclaw. Not even after they ended their…whatever it was. He wasn't sure if it was right to call it a relationship.

"Angie?" He tried to embrace her from the side but she just shook harder from her sobs and buried her head between her knees.

"Angie," he left the bench and knelt before her, slightly taking her head between his head to make her look at him. "Hey, I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't want to hurt you."

"It's- not-," her voice broke. "It's- not- it's not you. So- sor- sorry." Angelina tried to smother her sobs to stop them but it only made it worse.

"It's okay." Fred threw a glance around the park but there were only a few muggles around and no one seemed to watch them. He quietly transfigured a leave into a tissue and handed it to his still sobbing friend. She took it with a shaking smile.

"Okay, now let's take a deep breath to calm you down." Angelina tried a deep breath but it was rather shaky and didn't help much. "Again," Fred demanded softly. It took him five minutes but then Angelina was finally able to breathe evenly again, her eyes were dry and her nose didn't drip anymore. But her smile was still weak and sad, a bit defeated.

"I'm so sorry; I didn't want to make a scene." She grabbed a small mirror and dabbed away the smeared mascara around her eyes.

"Don't worry, I think you're allowed at last one scene after the kind of break-up we had," Fred snorted a short laugh. "I mean, we never actually broke up if you think about it. We just stopped talking and we were all weird. And after that I behaved like an arse," he flinched, "so feel free to make a scene. Most girls would have hexed me ages ago."

"Probably," Angelina smiled, this time it was genuine.

Fred went back to sitting beside her, slinging one arm casually around her shoulder. A comfortable silence enveloped them – with the occasional sniffing from Angelina who was still calming down – and Fred realised it had always been like this between them.

"You know, I've always felt comfortable around you. Ever since you started bickering with George and me during the feast after our sorting. It always felt natural for us to be friends, to hang out, play Quidditch. I never questioned being friends with you even though I'm sure back then I still thought girls were stupid and only good as pranking victims."

Angelina snorted. "Yeah, I remember how you tormented the girls from my dorm. And they hated me for not being one of your victims too, at least not as often as the others." She shot him a glare. "I'll forever be angry about the you-know-what."

"And rightly so," Fred nodded with a proud grin. One of their best pranks for sure. "Thing is, when George tried to convince me of this soulmate thing and dating you I started to think that all of this was because it was part of our soul bond. I thought that maybe being soulmates meant to be comfortable around each other. Never nervous or insecure. I think I probably fell in love with this idea of us being soulmates but not really with you."

"Well, it sounds nice, doesn't it?" Angelina stiffened a bit. "Never being insecure, to be comfortable and sure of yourself with your soulmate. I certainly thought it would be like that. That you meet your soulmate and all questions are answered and you're perfectly happy on the spot." There was a certain melancholy in her voice that Fred recognised immediately. It was the same as George practically radiated every day.

"Angie, we're good right? No lingering feelings?" He asked cautiously. Fred didn't want to make a mistake that could threaten the happiness of his twin.

"Nope, no lingering feelings," Angelina grinned. "Maybe a bit lingering anger about the stunt after our break-up. You could have just told me we were over instead of shagging every girl in sight."

Fred thought it might be nice if a hole in the ground could to magically appear in this moment for him to hide but he didn't have such luck. He really wasn't proud of this phase. But no hole appeared and instead, he forced himself to focus on getting his words right so that maybe Angelina would get the message.

"Yeah," he took a deep breath. "It wasn't really my goal to show you that we're over. It was someone else who I needed to convince. Angie," he turned so that she could see he was sincere. "Why do you think George needed to convince me to date who we thought was my soulmate? Normally you would wish for nothing else than to finally be with your soulmate, right?"

Angelina looked like some part of her brain had stopped working. "But we aren't soulmates, you weren't attracted to me. Of course, you wouldn't want to date me."

"I never even thought about if I was attracted to you or not when George told me. It wasn't the reason why I didn't want to." Fred threw Angelina a meaningful look, willing her to put the pieces together. "You know, there really is only one person in the world I would sacrifice my own happiness for if it would hurt him."

"Please don't tell me this idiot…" Angelina's eyes started to water again but this time she looked more furious than sad. "Oh, I will kill him."

"Please don't, it would be terrible for the business," Fred said but the joke didn't quite have the intended impact. "You cried when I told you it was George who pushed us together. Did you think it meant he didn't have feelings for you?"

Angelina answered with a small nod. "It sounded a lot like it. With him more or less forcing you to date me, it sounded like he wanted us to be soulmates. Did he never consider himself as my soulmate?"

"George is, like most Weasley man, an enormous idiot. We had this discussion about him being wrong with what he saw. In the end, George was probably just afraid to get his hopes up and then be disappointed." Fred hugged her more tightly. "But it seems like he didn't need to worry since you feel the same, right?"

Angelina's voice was laced with guilt when she finally answered.

"I do, since a very long time actually. But I still fell for you. Obviously, I can't trust my own stupid heart. And George probably shouldn't too. I'm not sure if we can ever start anew with this, with us" she pointed to Fred and then on herself, "standing between us. How could he ever trust me? How could he ever forgive me? Can you forgive me?"

"Nothing to forgive, Angie. If you can forgive me too." He pulled her closer to his side and she buried her face in his shoulder.

They sat like that, cuddled together but with nothing than friendship between them, in silence for a long time. It was like a clean end and a fresh start. They were a lot of things they could have talked about in-depth. A lot that wasn't said or discussed yet but it wasn't necessary anymore. All the important things were already said and their fears and their guilt were bare before them. They were back to being friends and nothing else was important.

Finally, Fred interrupted their cosy little bubble. He felt the need to give Angelina a final push in the right direction.

"Just to be clear, George was never angry with you," he whispered to her. "Just with himself. Don't give up on him."

"Thank you," Angelina whispered back like they were eleven-years-old again telling each other secrets in the common room at midnight. "And what about you?"

"Ah, don't worry about me, just use silencing spells," he kept the whispering and threw her a wink which earned him another punch against to arm at the exact same spot as before. There would certainly be a bruise tomorrow.

"Prat, that's not what I meant," she huffed. "I meant your love life. And don't you dare lie to me. I was at the hospital wing; I saw how you looked at her."

Her. Hermione.

And with this, the letter and the whole mess were back and Fred's heart, which had been light and carefree seconds ago, was heavy again. He didn't say anything right away and Angelina took it upon herself to fill the silence.

"George said in his Patronus message that you were upset about something. That we needed to talk because it was connected to our messed up…thing." Fred smiled at her avoidance of the word relationship. Then he started to tell her about Hermione. Somehow it felt right to talk about it with Angelina, who shared his wounds from their messed up history.

He told Angelina how Hermione had confessed her feelings and how they had exchanged letters. How something had developed between them. Something he couldn't quite describe or label; something he didn't really understand.

And he told Angelina about the letter and how it had stirred a fear of getting hurt he had never felt before. And while he told her all of this Fred realised, for the first time, the glaring difference between his history with Angelina and his complicated relationship with Hermione.

"I actually care about losing her." He admitted finally, to Angelina and himself. "It didn't hurt to lose you, at least not in a deep, lasting way," Angelina muttered a sarcastic thanks, you prat but otherwise didn't interrupt. "But with Hermione… I can already tell that losing her would be different."

It would be devastatingly painful, he thought. It would rip his heart apart and the realisation scared Fred beyond measure.

Angelina sighed fondly, shaking her head. "So, George is not the only idiot. You're one too." She smiled at him. "Do you really want to make the same stupid mistake as George? Sacrificing your own happiness for Ron? But," Angelina waggled her index finger at him. "You would be even more of an idiot because Hermione already said she doesn't want Ron."

"It sounds so easy when you say it like that."

"It isn't easy, it will hurt like hell, but in the end, you need to decide either way. You can't just ignore it. But for now," Angelina stretched. "We should head back. We've been gone for hours."

"Right, I bet Georgie is already losing his mind."

OOO OOO OOO OOO OOO OOO OOO OOO

Fred was only partly right. George was still two nosey customers and ten minutes of overthinking away from really losing his mind. But when Angelina and Fred stepped back into the shop it was clear his twin was ready to kill someone. It must have been a busy day.

"You owe me a day off," George grumbled after he rang up a mother with two loudly crying children. "There were tons of people already shopping for Christmas and Verity called in sick shortly after you left."

"Well, how about we close up early?" Fred threw a look around. The shop was almost empty anyway and they could surely shoo the remaining people out easily enough.

George showed his enthusiasm for this idea by flicking his wand at the door, changing the sign from open to close. It only took them five minutes to get everyone out and activate the security charms.

Fred was ready to call it a day, take a butterbeer and process his conversation with Angelina on the couch when he realised that there was still a big, pink elephant in the room. An elephant called George-and-Angelina-being-awkward-around-each-other.

The two of them were throwing glances at each other every few minutes, probably waiting for the other to make the first move. Fred had hoped Angelina would be the brave one since she now knew everything and even George's feelings for her.

He made a motion for Angelina to wait in the shop while he followed George, who was storing the register in the backroom.

"You know if you're not too tired you could take Angelina out for dinner," Fred suggested lightly.

"Maybe," George fiddled with the big, magically strengthened safe to store away the money.

"By Merlin, could you two please go out and have a drink or maybe five? And talk? I mean, I thought you finally talked when she spent the night but apparently you didn't because I needed to explain everything today. And I think I have a nasty bruise on my arm to prove it." Fred huffed. "Maybe try shagging, might help with the awkwardness."

At this George got beet red which Fred found was a rather interesting reaction. By now he was used to George avoiding the topic but it finally dawned him what had transpired that night. "Seriously?"

"Well, it's none of your business, right?" Angelina stood in the door, glaring at him. Of course, it was hard to see with her dark skin if she blushed but Fred knew her good enough to know when she was flustered.

Fred held up his hand in mock defeat, slowly heading towards the stairs. "You know what? I have a letter to write and you two have to talk. Or whatever. Please, just use silencing spells and clean up afterwards. I work here too."

"FRED!" He ignored the shocked cry of Angelina and the noise of George face-palming himself.

With a snigger, he went to the flat, accoied himself a butterbeer – and a firewhiskey, just in case – and read Hermione's letter one more time.

Thanks to his talk with Angelina and the prospect of George and Angelina finally getting together he felt light and carefree. There was still a bit of guilt deep in his stomach by the knowledge of Ron getting hurt. But Ron would have to live with it.

Fred knew he wasn't stealing Ron's love; Hermione had already made up her mind and knew her heart. Fred imagined that it hadn't been easy for Hermione to write to him. She was probably anxious about his answer and afraid of him changing his mind. And so he tried to reassure her. To explain his feelings.

He wrote several letters and but nothing was good enough. The words just didn't come out the right way and he couldn't explain how his talk with Angelina had enlightened him. How he had realised his immense fear of losing Hermione.

With a huff, he stopped, sank back on the couch and took a big sip of his whiskey. Fred tried to think about how he could describe it. He tried to imagine what Hermione would think while reading it. Would she even believe him if he just declared his feelings so suddenly in a letter?

Hermione's confession had been sudden too, at least to him. The memory alone made Fred flush. Their kiss in the library after the flight from the room of requirement. Merlin, this kiss… And then this old discussion again about Hermione not wanting to be seen as their sister. How she had admitted midway in their fight that she was just fine with being a sister to George. But not to him.

Ever since he had first kissed Hermione under the mistletoe at Grimmauld's he had known there were feelings for her hidden deep inside him. Afterwards, he had told himself that it was just a whim and that Hermione was still family. That he wouldn't ruin their friendship by starting something. And he had still been in a bad place back then, with the break-up from Angelina not long over, the constant fighting with George about it, and his fleeting hook-ups. It was easy to pretend this first kiss meant nothing.

The second kiss had been different.

There had been a slight ache in chest already during the DA meeting when they produced their Patronus charms. And then Hermione and he had stopped at the library, her hair had been messy and her cheeks flushed and kissing her had been the only thing on his mind. So much that using the kiss as a distraction was the only idea he came up with. And normally his brilliant mind should have been able to think of better ways to escape Montague.

But he wanted to kiss her so he did. And after Hermione's confession and their deal to see where it would lead…

Fred realised he had never taken the time to really think about his feelings. There had been so much going on with Umbridge and running away from Hogwarts, starting the shop and joining the Order, the thing with Angelina and George… he had just accepted that there was something strong between them. Maybe he should have reflected on this feeling sooner.

He tried to remember why kissing Hermione had been such an urge that day in the library. Sure, she had looked very kissable and tempting but it had been more. They had spent more time in the months prior and Fred realised now that Hermione had been flirting with him all along back then. He just had been a bit too dense to really recognise it.

With a jolt, he stood up, walked into the kitchen and looked into the icebox just to do something with the energy suddenly surging through his veins. Energy fuelled by only one question.

When had Hermione started to like him?

As far as Fred could remember they had always been friends… right? Sure, Hermione had been Ron's friend from the beginning but he and George had always liked her since she started school. Hermione had always been witty and strong. She hadn't been put out by their little name joke. Instead, she had accepted the challenge and created a brilliant prank just to win. He had been more than impressed.

Fred wasn't sure when but sometime during the early years at Hogwarts he and George had decided to look after Hermione a bit more. Maybe it had been after her terrible fight with Harry and Ron during her third year or how tired she had always been that year. Maybe it had been after the Quidditch world cup when they had lost the trio in the crowd, scared that Hermione as a muggleborn would be a target.

But he knew he had always felt protective of Hermione. Maybe a bit overprotective. At least during the whole Viktor Krum affair.

Oh… Fred almost crashed his head into the wall. He hadn't realised it back then but this…thing with Hermione and Krum had irked him more than it should have. The idea of them dating had unsettled him and every time he tried to talk about it with Hermione it ended with a fight.

Faintly Fred remembered how Angelina had teased him about it when he had been moping around after one fight –Hermione had ignored him for days afterwards -, telling him other girls would probably be jealous if their boyfriend would be so invested in another girl's relationship.

With a sigh, Fred realised he would never figure out when Hermione had fallen for him. There was too much history between them, more than he had been aware of.

A sting in his heart reminded him of a terrible fear he had had before. What if Hermione had already been in love with him during his thing with Angelina? During his time as a womaniser at Hogwarts? What if he had hurt her? Merlin, she deserved so much more.

With sudden clarity, Fred realised what he needed to do. He needed to plan. But first, he needed to write this letter. And since Angelina and George didn't come back he had the whole night to find the perfect words.

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Okay, I hope you liked it. A lot of people were leaving reviews hoping Angelina would kick Fred's behind regarding his relationship with Hermione (which she kind of did) but for me, it was important to give Angelina and Fred closure with this chapter.

SHAMELESS ADVERTISING: I wrote a little one-shot called "A Thousand Touches" a while ago if anyone is interested ;) It's, of course, a Fremione fic.