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Chapter 12
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I paused in my packing, struck at a sudden thought, and glanced at Kyōko sorting through my shirt drawer. I remembered that a student in my grade had been following her around lately, and that he had gotten into some trouble I didn't bother knowing about that banned him from attending the junior trip.
"Hey…" I started, feeling curious and close to defensive at my current thoughts. "Is that Mochida guy still following you around?"
Kyōko looked up from her folding, meeting my eyes with curious orbs. "Senpai isn't following me," she objected casually, "He just likes to make sure I get to leadership class on time."
I narrowed my eyes, shifting my stance slightly to face her. "Kyōko," I said, recognizing the slight twitch of her lip that signified her discomfort. I leaned my back against the foot of my bed, opened my arms towards her and (basically) ordered her to, "Come here."
She sat back on her heels at my action, and didn't hesitate to unabashedly crawl towards me. She wrapped her arms around my torso and sprawled herself across my lap, laying her head on my chest with a content exhale. I pulled her closer to me, getting comfortable before beginning to stroke her hair.
There was a small moment where we simply held each other. Where we opened our minds and spirits and drank in each other's scent.
I had forgotten the last time we had done this…
"Now," I sighed, relaxing at the warmth of her breath against my collarbone. "What do you really think?"
She didn't answer for a moment, possibly collecting her thoughts. I knew, without looking, that the soft lines on her face that shaped ignorance had shifted to a more sober, thoughtful look, one that only Kyōya and I knew was her true expression.
It was during moments like these that I was reminded of how much Kyōko used her innocence as a disguise. How much she relied on her ignorance saving her from the cold, harsh truth. As if convincing herself everything was alright would make it alright.
Don't get me wrong. Kyōko was innocent for sure. But she had a bad habit of forgetting and convincing herself that everything wrong in the world wasn't real. She exaggerated the characteristics that made her seem pure, in the hopes that she would be.
She didn't tell me why she thought this way, but I had a vague suspicion that the words Kagome Hina had yelled at the daughter that looked like the love of her life after her husband's passing might have something to do with it.
Sasagawa Kyōko spent so much time and effort trying to be the daughter anyone would be proud of, that she had consequently become that daughter. Despite the beliefs that she wasn't good enough, that she would never be, that she was self-centered when she obviously wasn't, that her trying to be perfect was for her own satisfaction, I knew that wasn't the case. She had become too truly honest and selfless and kind to even be what she believed herself to be.
I couldn't convince her otherwise, and this led me to believe she was just another regular girl with insecurities and so much need to have faith in other people that she had fallen into having too much faith in people.
"Mochida-senpai…" She began, slowly, almost dreamily, "He… I think that he might like me for more than a friend. So… I'm kind of scared…" I waited, letting my fingers run through the caramel strands of her hair, deciding not to comment on her obliviousness towards herself but astuteness towards others. So how obvious is Mochida being for even Kyōko to notice? "that maybe he'll ask me to be his girlfriend, and I don't want to be."
"Why?" I muttered, wanting her to vent properly.
She didn't answer for a while, turning her face slightly so that it dug into my bare skin. She inhaled deeply, held it in, and then exhaled. "I don't like him." She admitted, voice muffled against my shoulder. "He's… too aggressive. Violent. He likes to look at himself in the mirror, and is overly confident in his abilities."
A pause. Then—
"You do know that you just described Kyōya perfectly, right?"
Kyōko gave a laugh. Not an overly high pitched giggle that she would give in front of her friends, but a real, honest, laugh. The kind that came from the diaphragm, and the kind only heard in this household. "Hibari-senpai doesn't cheat though." She defended.
"Oh, so Mochida does?"
I took Kyōko's silence as an affirmative.
"Hibari-senpai is a good guy," She said after a solid five minutes of silent cuddling. Her sudden voice kept me from nodding off. "He might be violent and aggressive, but his pride is something worth more than winning."
I blinked in surprise, looking down at the little sister leaning against my chest. "Wao, you noticed that Kyōko?"
She laughed, tilting her head up to meet my eyes. "If you don't marry Hibari-senpai, Onēchan, I hope, at the very least, that all three of us remain together like—" She cut herself off so abruptly that I knew the following, like a family, was floating in the air above us on a taut string. And by the wary look in her eyes, I knew she sensed it too. And she knew I knew that she knew, and all that crap. But I was too touched by the words that were not said to be bothered by her earlier quip of me and Kyōya being a couple.
"Don't worry about that." I said, placing my chin on her head to hide the look she was giving me. Cautious. Scared. Skittish. I recognized her fear, the fear that if we thought of this as family, it would be taken away violently. "We'll be together forever. With or without, Kyōya."
She mumbled something against my neck. Something I believed to be along the lines of, But I want Hibari-senpai with us too. I didn't comment on it, too busy trying to slow the rapid beating of my heart. The thought of all three of us together forever made me warm in happiness and elation.
I wanted us to be together forever.
But this yearning scared me.
Because I had wanted to be with Sasagawa Akio and Kagome Hina and Kyōko and Leilei Suzume and Kyōya all of us together.
And we hadn't been.
"Take care of yourself while I'm away, okay?" I mumbled into Kyōko's hair, kissing the top of her head to keep me rooted in the present. "Tetsuya will be in the guest room, okay? You have my cell phone number, so don't hesitate to call me."
"Mmm…" Kyōko responded, sounding small and tired at the reminder of our real lives. "Take care, Onēchan." A small pause, then, "Itterasshai*, Suzume."
I hugged her closer and more tightly to emphasize the word— "Ittekimasu*, Ichigo."
It was a wonder that Kusakabe and I even managed to convince Kyōya to go on the junior trip (a miracle that sacrificed Kusakabe's attendance to the same event, all in good will!). It was only a seven day retreat, and although Kyōya was able to relax slightly and have fun torturing a few of our classmates, what killed the entire experience—
—was coming back and hearing that Yamamoto had tried committing suicide while I was gone.
Not that Mochida had learned his lesson (that was satisfying).
But that Yamamoto Takeshi had tried to commit suicide while I was gone?
I was going to kill him.
I slammed the door of my idiot kōhai's classroom open, not bothering to close it behind me as I stomped towards the trio sitting near the window. I tried to tone down the fury I knew was highlighting my face, but judging by the looks on these kids' faces, it wasn't working.
"Senpai…?" Yamamoto blinked in confusion, looking bewildered at my rather dramatic entrance. "You're back. How was your junior tri—?"
I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up roughly. His legs knocked at the chair and table, and the commotion caused the two kids with him to jump to their feet in shock. But Yamamoto didn't fight me, he was almost compliant at my rough movements. His hands went up in placation, his eyes wide in surprise.
"H-Hey!" The boy with unruly brown hair exclaimed, looking like a frightened mouse stuck between his fight or flight instinct. The guy with silver hair was the complete opposite. With a "Hey!" that was more similar to a growl, he tried snatching my wrist, but I took a quick step towards him and aimed an elbow at the base of his throat.
He managed to pull back fast enough for the blow not to stun him, but he knelt to catch his breath with a hand against his trachea.
"Back. Off." I snarled, glaring at the boy and tightening my grip on Yamamoto's collar (just in case he decided to run away). From this angle, his silver hair extended in multiple directions like tentacles. "This is between me and Takeshi, octopus head. You dare to touch me again, and I'll punch you so hard I'll pull your spine out of your mouth and stuff it tailbone first through your asshole."
Oops. Looks like Kyōya's rubbing off on me. That was rather violent even by my standards.
No regrets though.
Before he could act on that furiously red face he was making, I turned to Yamamoto and ordered, "You're extremely coming with me."
He blinked in assent, or confusion, or both (I didn't bother telling them apart), and followed me out of the classroom and onto the roof.
Okay, maybe I threw him there.
I took a deep breath, crossed my arms, and exhaled as Yamamoto stared at me from the floor. He scratched at his cheek, looking nervous and a little confused at the entire situation.
"Uh… Senpai? What's wrong?"
"What's wrong?" I snapped, incredulous. "Are you seriously asking that question, Takeshi?"
He blinked.
"You…" I growled, stomping forward and pulling him to his feet by the collar, "You are what's extremely wrong! You tried to commit suicide Takeshi!"
He blinked twice, seemingly unbothered by the lack of space between us, before his eyes softened in understanding. "Oh…" He breathed, going limp in my grasp. "Well—"
"Well what?" I snapped, pushing him hard enough to make him stumble. "You tried to extremely end your life because you broke your arm Takeshi? I know baseball means a lot to you, but does it really mean so much you would give up living?"
He swallowed.
"What would your dad have said? From what I gather, it's just the two of you, and considering your father's lack of a second wife, your mother's passing was an extreme blow to him!" Or I could just be overly thinking this in a romantic fashion (but I wasn't telling him that). "Do you think he would happily continue living without you around? What were you on? What made you think that your death would've gone unnoticed? That everyone around you would continue to live their lives peacefully, knowing that one of their friends had—!"
"I didn't have any friends, Senpai."
I stopped.
Did he just—
No way—
"I didn't have any friends, Senpai…" He repeated, as if I hadn't heard him the first time, "But now I do! I have Tsuna and Gokudera! And they're—!"
"Say that again." I breathed, furious and hurt and in complete disbelief.
He closed his mouth in surprise, looking slightly confused. "I have Tsuna and Gokudera…?"
"Before that."
He blinked. "I didn't have any friends…?"
"That."
I inhaled, shifted my stance, and swiftly punched Yamamoto in the jaw.
He fell onto his lower back with a loud grunt, hand cupping the already swelling wound. He looked up at me in bemusement and surprise, but I merely continued to shake out my fist, the pain along my knuckles dull compared to the harsh beating in my chest.
"How dare you," I hissed, stepping closer and kneeling in front of him. "Say that you extremely didn't have any friends, Takeshi."
A pause, and then a reluctant, "But—"
"What am I, Takeshi!" I yelled, and his mouth snapped shut.
I stood, jaw clenched and hands subtly shaking. "What am I… if not your friend?"
He looked away, thinking. And the fact that he had the audacity to even think about such an easy question made me turn on my heel and walk away.
"Wait! Senpai! You're—!"
"Save it!" I yelled, slamming open the rooftop door—
—and finding a little brown mouse and his octopus friend yelping as they scrambled away from their eavesdropping position.
I scowled at the sight, too hurt and angry to even bother to sympathize with the little rats. "Having fun, boys?" I snarled, turning away and not even bothering to close the door behind me.
I didn't expect him to, but realizing only made it worse: he didn't come after me.
"I mean," I breathed, sidestepping and dodging an elbow aimed for my shoulder, "he's the only person I talk to," I grunted at the blow I couldn't dodge against my shoulder, "that isn't in the Disciplinary Committee," I aimed a roundhouse kick at Kusabake's waist, "or Kyōko."
Kusakabe managed to snatch my wrist and grab the strap of my sports bra with his other hand. Before he could adjust his grip and throw me in a judo throw, I used the momentum of the pull and headbutted his chin.
"The Boxing Club doesn't count," I continued, as he took one step back to catch himself. "The members only joined to watch the captain train in a bra and spandex." Before his head could stop spinning, I used his knee as a step ladder and placed my hands on either side of his head to pull him towards my knee. I paused just before the bone could make contact with his nose, and called a, "Match," as I landed on the balls of my feet.
"I thought we were friends…" I mumbled once I straightened, suddenly exhausted and worn out from feeling so frustrated.
Not the spar. Unfortunately.
I could honestly go for another round or two.
"Boys are simple beings, Ryōhei-san." Kusakabe gasped as he stood up to his full height. "Perhaps he really didn't consider you to be friends. Maybe he thought the two of you to be something more," and then he hurriedly mumbled after seeing my incredulous expression, "or less."
"Less…" I muttered, frowning as I peeled off my workout gloves and threw them towards the closest neutral corner with another pair of gloves, "So… all of that time we spent together meant nothing?" Yamamoto wasn't the type to think this way. If anything, he seemed the type to be wholeheartedly loyal.
So why—?
"There might be a possibility he likes you."
My heart skipped a beat, and my jaw dropped at the sudden jump of topics. "What? Why would he—? Takeshi isn't—!"
"Ano…" We both turned towards the entrance, and I raised an eyebrow upon seeing the familiar boy who resembled a timid mouse standing there. "I'm looking for the Captain of the Boxing Club…?"
Kusakabe and I looked at each other, and I couldn't help but grin at the expression on his face; it meant we were thinking the same thing. "Remind you of anyone, Tetsuya?" I teased the taller boy. He rolled his eyes at the quip, and I playfully punched him in the shoulder at the action.
Kusakabe had been the same size, both in height and confidence, as this mouse, when Kyōya and I had first met him. Kyōya had quickly whipped him into shape, but it didn't help that Kusakabe had grown taller and bigger than Kyōya in the short span of a year.
You can imagine that spiteful "training session."
"Thou shalt not grow taller than thy master," I mocked in a deep voice, nearly guffawing at the horrified expression on his face.
I mean, Kusakabe was huge now!
"I'm going to go take a shower," He announced loudly and quickly, as if trying to drown out the sound of my laughter. He walked forward and jumped off of the boxing ring in a dramatic display of physical finesse and agility before pausing briefly in front of the fidgeting mouse. "I'm Kusakabe Tetsuya, nice to meet you."
"A-Ah!" The mouse jumped in surprise, bowing in return (although in repetitive and hurried movements), "Sawada Tsunayoshi. Nice to meet you."
Sawada Tsunayoshi? I raised an eyebrow; that sounded familiar.
Kusakabe walked towards the locker rooms, and I leaned against the ropes the moment he was out of sight. "I'm the Captain of the Boxing Club." I announced, diving through the ropes to land in front of the Sawada mouse. "My name's Sasagawa Ryōhei. How can I help you?"
He blinked in slight confusion; mumbling a, "Ryōhei…?" under his breath before briefly glancing at my chest*. He blushed when I caught him looking, but I merely smiled thinly at him. I was too used to this "joke," to even find it funny anymore (even though I never found it funny in the first place).
"Yes," I confirmed, "Ryōhei. Yes, I am a girl. And yes," I gestured at my chest, "I am not completely flat chested."
I was a solid B cup, if you must know. Which, in my opinion, wasn't flat at all.
"No—I wasn't—I didn't mean to—I'm—!" He stopped throwing his arms around and plastered his elbows to his side to swallow thickly, "I'm here to talk to you about Yamamoto-kun!" He blurted in embarrassment.
My amusement faded at the name. "Takeshi…?" I repeated slowly, crossing my arms slowly and doing my best not to frown, "What about him?" I asked, tone lowering in seriousness.
"Um… Well…" The Sawada mouse muttered, looking at a loss for words but firmly insistent. "I-I talked to Yamamoto-kun, a-and it seems like he really cares about you, so—"
"How much did you hear?" I interrupted, raising an eyebrow with maybe too much attitude as he looked up from my bare feet. "Of the conversation we had on the roof?"
He hesitated. Then, with a wince that almost seemed as if I had physically struck him, answered, "All of it…"
"Then you can see," I continued, unintentionally raising my voice and lowering it appropriately upon the realization of it, "that Takeshi doesn't care for me at all. Our entire 'friendship,'" I air quoted almost aggressively, "was extremely one sided on my part."
He swallowed heavily. Looking nervous and out of his element. "That… that's not true—"
"Really?" I cut off, beginning to get annoyed and riled up and so so tired of this subject that only made me feel— "Tell you what, Sawada." I turned around and walked back towards the ring, reaching under the ropes towards the base of the neutral corner. I grabbed the spare pair of boxing gloves in my right hand, pivoted, and threw them towards the small mouse.
He floundered around for a while trying to catch them, and when he did, he held them in his hands as if they were a delicate item and not an instrument I would be using to split his face open. He blinked at me in confusion, and when our eyes met, I gave him the most serious expression I could muster.
"Fight me." I ordered, placing my bandaged hands on my hips. "If you manage to hit me once, in the span of an hour—No," I corrected, eyes trailing along Tsuna's physique, "Two, I'll listen to what you extremely have to say without interruptions. If I win," I grinned viciously (the Sawada mouse shuddering at the action), before snatching my own gloves and pulled them on quickly and efficiently in a show of complete confidence, "you'll become my extreme personal punching bag by joining the Boxing Club."
He paled at the words, swallowing thickly. He looked down and seemed to think about it deeply, telling me that he actually cared about Yamamoto, which irked me a little, and that he obviously had no confidence in his physical abilities to boot (considering he didn't accept right away).
"O...Okay." He said, voice shaking slightly, and knees trembling visibly.
I smirked, knowing the action seemed more like a toothy grin than anything. "Well then, Sawada," I angled my body slightly to shift his attention to the boxing ring, "Let's get started then, shall we?"
The moment Sawada Tsunayoshi made a stance, I knew I had made a grave mistake.
Of course, I could tell from the shape of his body that he was a skinny, willowy thing, but a small glimmer of hope that he might know what to do from watching action movies surfaced within me.
But every time he tripped over his shoelaces or swung too hard and missed or took a step back too fast and lost his balance—
I realized not everyone was a genius like Kyōya (or talented like Kusakabe and me).
Sawada Tsunayoshi was clumsy, and had no grace, and seemed to want to give up multiple times—
And yet he didn't.
Despite the multiple pauses during the spar, the whimpers and groans and squeals, he continued to stand and right himself and come at me.
His persistence wore me down more than his strikes did.
"Sawada-mouse," I said, straightening and letting my fists fall back to my sides. "Time's up."
"W-What?" He squeaked, blinking the sweat out of eyes and looking around for a clock. "B-But wait—! I-I haven't—"
"It's okay." I interrupted, pulling off my gloves and throwing them to the side. There was a small pause as I collected my thoughts, but I could feel Tsuna fidgeting in nervousness and mild confusion. I looked up and placed my bandaged hands on my hips. "I'll talk to Takeshi."
He blinked and muttered an, "Eh?" before the words seemed to process in his mind. "R-Really?" He asked, the corners of his mouth slowly lifting in what I assumed to be a relieved smile.
"Yeah." I answered, walking forwards and helping him take off his protective gear. He squeaked as I pulled off his headgear, and it was as I got a whiff of a chocolatey scent coming off of him that I was given the image of a young, young child. Somehow, I found myself mumbling, "You're really something else, Sawada-mouse..."
"E-Eh?" He stuttered, blinking large brown eyes that reminded me of a small, innocent puppy.
"I said," I began, dropping the gear and beginning to work at his gloves, "that you're something else, Sawada-mouse. For you to come here...and comply with my ridiculous request in fighting me, so that I can talk to Takeshi again…" I knew that he had no chance of beating me... and yet— I straightened, and looked down those measly four inches into his eyes. "You're kind of incredible. The kind of incredible an average guy wouldn't be."
He blinked, looking suddenly very very confused.
I waited, and when it seemed he'd be in that state for a while longer, I roughly ruffled his sweaty hair to bring him back. "There's a shower around the corner, on the left hand side." I pointed, "I'll go ahead and go to Takeshi now."
"A-Ah!" Tsuna jumped, turning to follow me briefly, "Yamamoto-kun's on the—"
"I know." I interrupted, looking at him over my shoulder. "He's on the rooftop, right?"
I wasn't used to seeing this side of Yamamoto.
He was always smiling and teasing and making sure we had a good time together that when it did get serious, it was the kind that made you touch souls.
Now, as I stepped onto the roof and watched him stare off into the sunset, a sunset full of golds and reds that Sunday Hightower would have painted, with the most wistful expression on his face—
I wondered what I was doing.
Was it really worth reconciling with Yamamoto if he hadn't even considered us friends in the first place? Why should I waste my time and energy on a boy who wouldn't reciprocate my effort? Effort I could place into people who hadn't failed me so far. People like Kyōko and Kyōya and maybe even Kusakabe?
I was tired of trying so hard and only being hurt in the process.
I hadn't died and been reborn for this kind of bullshit.
I turned, and it was as I placed my hand on the handle that—
"Senpai?"
—I exhaled, and brought my hand back to my side.
I turned to face my idiot kōhai, counting three slow heartbeats before losing patience and blurting, "The Sawada-mouse came to me. He asked me to give you a chance to explain yourself."
He blinked, light eyes confused. "Tsuna…?" He mumbled slowly, and his tone of voice made me clench my hands tightly.
I had to keep myself from stepping forward and punching him in the face again.
Because the fact that he was calling the Sawada-mouse by his first name only attributed to the fact of how close they were.
He had only known this boy for less than a week and he was already calling him by his first name?
Somehow... I didn't like it.
"Well?" I nearly snapped, getting more and more irritated the longer he didn't speak. This behavior wasn't like Yamamoto at all. "Care to explain why we aren't friends when you're the only person I talk to at school that isn't Kyōko or Kyōya? That you're the only person I spend my lunch breaks with? The only person who actually talks to me without being scared of Kyōya hunting them down and kicking their ass?"
Ah, damn, I was getting heated.
It didn't help that he was only watching me rant. With eyes too deep to be healthy.
The look in his eyes was making my gut do weird somersaults.
His silence wasn't helping anything.
So I raised my voice, "Was it just me? Was I the only one who thought of us as friends? Was it all in my head? If it was, I'm sorry for burdening you with my feelings, but you need to tell me, so that I know and can act appropriately—!"
Yamamoto took three long strides and engulfed me in his arms.
I got a mouthful of his shirt, inhaling a clean, crisp scent that made me want to relax at the get go.
I clutched at the sides of his uniform, weakly punching his back in mild frustration. The smell of him was making it harder for me to stay mad at him, so it wasn't long for my punches to slow until I was merely breathing him in and clasping at his sides.
We stayed like that for a long moment. A moment where the scent coming from his collar engulfed me in a warm, tranquil space that seemed to slow down time itself.
"Senpai…" He breathed.
I nearly jumped. I hadn't realized that the warmth and smell of him had brought me to a serene doze.
"I… never considered you a friend because… friends are not as close as what you and I are." He spoke lowly, every word level and enunciated beautifully. He spoke as if each word carried a heavy weight. As if the weight of them would crush me.
My heart was pounding at the suspense of it all. Pounding in fear and nervousness.
I clutched his sides tighter. Suddenly afraid.
I began to mumble, "Take—"
"I like you, Senpai. Very much." He pulled away, slowly, carefully; large hands trailing my shoulders. His eyes searched my face, possibly looking for a particular reaction.
But there wasn't one to give.
Because he had used the, 'like' appropriately used for non-romantic implications.
The 'like,' you would use for a good movie. The 'like,' you would use for a good book.
"I like you so much that it had me thinking…" He licked his lips, looking nervous, almost scared, "thinking so much that I think it started affecting my baseball average and screwing up my field practice…"
I watched him, listening intently. The words coming from his lips made sense; and yet they didn't.
What about our relationship had him thinking so hard? Yes, Yamamoto hadn't had a friend as close to him as I had been; I mean, I had noticed that he was popular yet always walked home by himself. But was the experience so new to him he had to analyze it so deeply?
"For a while I just thought I wasn't trying hard enough, but then… you left on your junior trip… and… while you were gone I broke my arm…"
The look on his face spoke of pure frustration, and fear, and despair that—my heart physically ached for him.
I understood that he believed baseball to be everything for him. It was why he was popular, why he was liked. It was something his father would boast to his customers about, something that centered all of his relationships.
I gained a small insight to how he must have felt for him to think of suicide at that point.
But it still wasn't an excuse—
"And it felt… like I had lost you Senpai…"
What.
He looked at me. Fearful and apprehensive and fingers slightly shaking at his sides.
"What I mean to say is… You mean so much more to me than just a friend, Senpai. Because of that, I was frustrated and acted recklessly while you were away. But now that Tsuna saved me… and I have friends… I'm able to realize that…"
He looked at me, and it was deep, intense look in his eyes that convinced me he had misspoken earlier because—
"I—"
No no no no no—
My heart was pounding so hard and fast that I was beginning to feel lightheaded—
"—like you, Senpai."
Now… now, he had used to proper, 'like' to imply romantic feelings.
My ears felt hot. My insides felt hot. The heat seemed to merely extend all the way to the ends of my toes—and I suddenly couldn't look at Yamamoto anymore.
I averted my eyes. Turned my head. Breathing heavily at the sudden assault he had done to my emotions.
"Ryōhei…"
Somehow, even though I didn't think possible, my heart began to pound even faster than before.
He hadn't called me by my first name. Ever.
"Tak—"
"I don't expect anything from you." He interrupted, looking at me as if he knew what I was going to say.
But he couldn't. Because I didn't even know what I was going to say.
"I… just wanted to let you know. Why I didn't consider us friends… and…" He inhaled deeply, looking as if he was preparing himself mentally for battle, "I know… that my feelings for you will only get in the way of you and Hibari-senpai so—"
"Kyōya?" His name didn't make any sense in this conversation. But it brought me back. Back from the embarrassed-insecure chasm I had been falling into. "What does he have to do with anything?"
Yamamoto looked at me with a look of surprise on his face. He tilted his head slightly, his expression slowly transforming into one of curiosity. "You and Hibari-senpai… I thought that… you both had feelings for each other… Don't you…?"
I sighed. A reaction I hadn't meant to release. "Sorry, it's just…" I waved my hands slightly, mind racing; trying to find the appropriate words to match the depth of my feelings…
"I love Kyōya," I said, knowing that to be true. "I love him like my family. Like he is a part of me just as much as Kyōko is." I looked at Yamamoto, and couldn't discern the look on his face. "I… have no romantic feelings towards him. I've never thought of him like that."
It was true. The thought had never even crossed my mind. He had just always been there. Had always been there…
"Then…" Yamamoto's voice was suddenly confident. It was such a contrasting change that my heart leaped in nervousness. His eyes were bold… and seemed to slowly gain back the humourous sparkle they usually held.
"I'll make you fall in love with me, Ryōhei-senpai."
My jaw dropped at his confidence.
And my reaction made him laugh.
And with that clear, familiar sound, was given an impression that maybe… everything that had just transpired… could be swept under the rug…
That clear, familiar sound, gave an impression of a care-free experience.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Ryōhei-senpai," Yamamoto grinned. He made sure his eyes locked with mine, and he held my gaze for a moment.
To show he was serious? To show me his earnestness?
I didn't know.
But the look made my stomach flutter with butterflies.
I didn't move as he walked around me towards the exit. I merely inhaled the last remnants of his scent as he walked by.
The door clanged shut behind me, and I took it as my cue to throw my head back and exhale.
What… have I gotten myself into?
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Omake: What He Felt
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(for reaching 200+ reviews)
Before Sasagawa Ryōhei, Yamamoto Takeshi remembered school life to be gray and tiring.
He doesn't remember it much. The time before her.
What he does remember, is seeing Sasagawa Ryōhei for the first time.
He had peeked into the Boxing Club while cleaning the baseball field, and saw—
The sun.
He saw the sun.
A sun so bright with every punch and kick and spin, he was surprised her brightness didn't blind him.
And suddenly his school life didn't seem so dull.
Sasagawa Ryōhei.
Was like the sun.
She, he would later come to learn—after she had caught him sneaking peeks and asked if he wanted to join the boxing club—was different from the others.
The others who liked and respected him for his image. For his physical adeptness, for his good arm, for being the baseball ace, for being the happy-go-lucky athlete, for—although plain of face—his smile that captured the hearts of many.
Sasagawa Ryōhei… was different…
Right?
There was no way she liked him because of his image…. Right?
"You're on the baseball team?" She laughed, a sound that parted clouds and kissed his skin with the same warmth that sunlight did. "Why? Join the boxing club instead. I'm sure you'd be better at it."
No. She wasn't like the others.
She was open and amazing and completely herself unlike—him.
She made him feel…
Warm. And happy. And content. And like he could be so much better.
She made him feel...
Like the Yamamoto Takeshi he wanted to be.
Glossary
Itterashai—Japanese expression that means, "Have a safe trip," and literally translates as, "Go and come back."
Ittekimasu—Japanese expression that means, "I'm leaving," while a fuller translation would be, "I'm leaving, and I will come back."
Ryōhei—masculine Japanese given name meaning, "good and flat"
Thanks to:
Land on the stars (hmmmm, that sounds much too tempting to write), Guest (1) (yes! i'm here!), 97ohaoscat (i did, i plan on adding more in the future too), ddmahan922 (yes! i was totally going for that! haha...), YuujouKami (hello friend, glad to see you still here, hope I didn't make you wait long), animagirl (tempting, i'll think about it), Madam3Mayh3m (haha, i'll be jumping to TA next, promise), Allykrau (thank you friend!), WindWhistle21 (thank you!), Nostalgic Beauty (thank you!), Yukionna13 (thank you! i think it might have changed again, haha), Mokina (thank you so much!), Arashi - IV of VI (thank you!), Anber (thank you so much!), EmiliaKyuchi (thank you! i like it when he's embarrassed too, haha), Lazyone (oh god, you're getting ahead already! shhhh!), MusicOfMadness (yesss! you'll absolutely love this chapter, haha), Arnine (thank you so much! your review made me smile!), hachinonana (thank you!), saku hyuuga (drama? whatever could you mean...? haha), animefreak2221396 (you're not the only one, haha), Shadow Regrowth (oh damn, that sounds good, i'll write it down), Evenly-Baked-Avatar (thank you so much! i hope it stays that way!), FlyWithMeToNeverland09 (thank you!), Mary D. Black2000 (thank you!), ADDBaby (thanks!), tanithlipsky (thanks), Tenryo Seikomaru (nah, that snippet wasn't canon, to this story anyways), Ghostunderasheet (thank you! what do you think so far?), silencia20 (thank you!), YatogamiKushina (writing that down for an omake!), NOTHINGButADREAM (thank you for reading!), Aihi8 (thank you so much! i hope it remains that way!), NikeScaret (thank you!), Guest (2) (i hope this chapter answered your question?), xXKaminari-TsubasaXx (hope this chapter answered your question a little also? let me know!), LoveroftheKiller (aha, i've actually been meaning to change it, but haven't gotten around to it. maybe soon? we'll see), Ageless sky (thank you so much!), Gal (i'm here~), Ghost Reader (thank you for reading! i love that you didn't leave just one review, haha), Invasionofprivacy (thank you!), Rikkai and hyotei lover (thank you!), Guest (3) (i'm here!), Zivyx (tru), 3D.2why (oops? haha), skidney (thank you!), Akun Saya (you're right. i might go over that again someday. plus, i think the lack of vocabulary just shows how much in shock sunday is, don't you agree? :)), Jeannetic (thank you! here you go!), That One Secretary (thank you!), fernandfeather (thank you, me too), Guest (4) (yes! thank you for bringing that to my attention! i'll write a little more about that in the future, haha), Youko Artemis (thank you!)
WE'RE FINALLY HERE GUYS. WE MADE IT~
Not gonna lie, I had half of this written for like... a year...? Haha...
Sorry guys.
So I really wanted to emphasize Kyōko's and Ryōhei's interaction (especially their departing words) considering they haven't had a lot of interaction lately. I started this fic with the intention of focusing on Ryōhei's relationship with Kyōko and from there, evolving to the rest of the guardians. Somewhere along the way (maybe by influence of reviewers) Hibari got a more [impacting] role.
Oops?
No regrets though.
Lol, that whole scene with Yamamoto came out of nowhere. I swear I never planned for that to happen. It just... did?
I like it though, haha!
(I also wanted to correlate canon!Ryōhei's willingness to die all the time here, so maybe it worked? Dunno, let me know)
Thank you guys, for being so patient with me.
I love you.
Please review.
—prince
