UG, THE CRAFTY CAVEMAN
FULL NAME - Ug Albert Igneous (according to him, at least)
AGE - ?
GENDER - Male
CAUSE OF DEATH - Eaten by saber-tooth
TIME OF DEATH - At least 50,000 years ago
LIKES - Privacy, researching sciences, napping in the fossils
DISLIKES - The belief he was eaten by a dinosaur, being called stupid, interaction
NOTABLE RELATIONSHIPS - Amadeus (best friend)
QUOTES
'Leave Ug alone. Ug want be left alone. Give Ug favourite picture back.'
'UG VERY SMART! UG KNOWS THAT ARGUMENT NOT WORTH HAVING! UG WANT ONLY MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS!'
'DOG ANNOYING! DOG DON'T THINK UG KNOW WHAT DOG IS TRYING! UG KNOWS DOG IS TRYING TO DISTRACT UG! UG ANNOYED THAT IT IS WORKING!'
'YET, UG NOT SURE. GOOEY MAN'S CONSISTENCY LOOK WEIRD. UG MUST TEST HYPOTHESIS TO GET DEFINITIVE RESULTS.'
'Dinosaur and caveman not around at same time. Dinosaur from Cretaceous period. Ug possess dinosaur because TYRANNOSAURUS REX ONE OF GREATEST HUNTERS EVER!'
'Flower Lady seem very scared of Ug. But Ug no see other signs Flower Lady lying. Ug believe Flower Lady tell truth. Ug accept deal!'
BIO
Ug Igneous (this is what he claims is his full name) may not have been working at the hotel for the longest, but he has certainly been a ghost far longer than any other without a question. He has been a spirit for at least 50,000 years, dwarfing other ancient ghosts such as Serpci, who died in 30 BCE. This long afterlife compared to any other ghost that we currently know of is part of what makes Ug so interesting.
Since his spirit dates back so far, the only records we have of Ug are the ones Ug himself is willing to share. According to him, he is not a Homo sapiens but instead a Homo neanderthalensis, making him a different but very closely connected species to modern humans. Like most Neanderthals, he was part of a very small society group. He, along with the other men of this group, was part of a hunting squad that fetched meat and berries for the rest of them. His personal weapon of choice was a bone club passed on down to him by his mother.
At the time, he was as dumb as you'd expect your caveman to be, though he could be quite resourceful. Whether or not he's just making himself seem better than he really was is not yet known, but it seems likely that he was indeed resourceful as he is perfectly willing to admit his death was rather stupid.
Unlike the others, who settled for hunting small critters and harvesting off fresh corpses when necessary, Ug couldn't understand why a saber-tooth tiger could be so dangerous. Out of curiosity, he lightly tapped the tiger on the top of its head with his bone club. The end result was exactly what you think it was. Not only was he the first in his group to die in such a silly way, but it was also the first time they practised cannibalism. Apparently, no one really mourned his death.
Across the next 50,000 years of being a ghost, Ug witnessed everything. From the invention of the wheel, to the discovery of gravity, to Pythagoras's Theory, he watched as all the great scientists and mathematicians provided the world with knowledge. He even took part in some of this, such as being part of the argument over whether or not Pluto was a planet. If you're wondering, he still doesn't quite understand why 'dwarf planets' aren't 'planets', when balls of gas are.
With several thousand years of knowledge in his head, he is not only the smartest ghost in the hotel but potentially one of the smartest people currently 'alive'. Saying that he died to a T Rex is sure to anger him, and force him to explain that dinosaurs and cavemen weren't even around at the same time. The anger that he is often known for is not his usual attitude. He's actually quite placid. But, he is very introverted and hates having his quiet place disturbed. Those who intrude have the bite marks to prove it.
EXTRA NOTES
-He is well-versed in twenty languages, and knows bits and pieces of hundreds more.
-It's entirely possible that Ug, in fact, can speak perfect and eloquent English, but intentionally speaks poorly to get his points across quicker. After all, why use many word when few word do trick?
-The only one allowed on the floor without permission is Amadeus, due to the two sharing proclivity for the fine arts and privacy. Soulfflé would be allowed too, if not for his very quick temper.
BEHIND THE SCENES
When it came to characterising the Boss Ghosts, I wanted to intentionally invert and/or subvert common stereotypes with them, such as taking the usual 'grumpy old man' idea applied to Dr Potter, and running with it so much he comes across as actually insane.
Caveman, in media, are usually depicted as idiotic brutes, so with Ug I went out of my way to make him different. By that, I made him the smartest ghost in the hotel, thanks to his 50,000 years of being a ghost allowing him to see and learn so many new things. The reason he gets angry isn't because he has anger issues, but more so he just really hates interaction and much prefers being alone. Only those who do not heed the warning get bitten.
