Hello all
Time for another chapter of Christmas Date! Bo and Lauren return to the Enterprise and there's more turbulent times for the both of them, especially Bo, courtesy of 'effing' Stacy :-)
Sorry for the mistakes, but then I don't have a beta and I always post first and then go back later to correct mistakes! :-)
If anyone is offering up Beta services, please contact me ;-)
Enjoy, and leave a review! :-)
Chapter 7
Lauren's POV
Somewhere over the Pacific Ocean
We can't.
She's right and I know that, yet the conversation we had in the hangar of the Norton just moments after her soft lips left mine plays over and over in my head, and even though I try not to take it personal, even though I try not to let it effect me...it still does.
She's right.
I know that.
Once we're on board the Enterprise we need to stay away from one another.
Pretend like whatever happened between us...didn't.
I know that.
I also know that I shouldn't have let it get this far, but how...
"Lauren?" Bo's voice in my helmet pulls me from my thoughts. "Look up," she says. I do as Bo tells me to, I look up and gasp. Above me I see the night sky in all it's glory stretching out in a blanket of stars. They seem so close that I feel if I could just reach out, I'd be able to catch one.
"Beautiful," I mumble out, and I understand what Bo was talking about when she told me how freeing and beautiful flying could be. I'm lost in the spectacle for minutes on end, and I smile feeling connected to the stars, to life, to the world, to my past, my present, to Bo,...to my father. Memories of those long hours spent with him on the roof top sharing, learning and laughing at those jokes only a Lewis could find funny. All of it, the fun, the laughter, but the heartache too. Memories I haven't thought about, not really, not like I am now, flash through my mind. My heart and my head collide violently. I look up again to the beautiful stars above. Tears spring to my eyes. And I wish he were here to share this moment with me.
I understand that things will have to change from the moment we step on board the Enterprise again.
She's right. I know that.
But how dad? I ask him now that I am so close to him. How am I going to do that with a woman who makes me feel so much?
One week later
Bo's POV
"Get off of me Kazinkski!" I mumble at the pilot behind me trying to get a weapons' lock. Ken Kazinkski, Air Force ace, is tailing me at 10.000 feet, and despite performing a couple of loops and barrels, he manages to stay on me. He isn't letting up. I don't expect him to, I admire his tenacity, his drive. The problem with Ken, however, is that he's known for taking risks, not only with his own life, but with that of others too. His nickname 'Kami' isn't just a funny alliteration, it comes from 'Kamikaze', because he's an all or nothing type pilot. The problem is also that he's out to prove a point.
Together with the rest of his Air Force squadron, Kazinksi no doubt believed he would easily outfly and outmaneuver us, but they haven't. Instead my Navy pilots have gone toe to toe with the Air Force from day one thanks mainly to Eve, Commander Hall and none other than Lieutenant Curry! Their excellent start, and an overall great performance of the squadron in the following week meant that the exercise we are flying right now: a good old-fashioned nine to nine dogfight is going to be decisive. Whichever team takes out the other fastest goes home with the prize.
"Badger out!" I hear through the intercom and I curse inwardly. After 45 minutes of flying Ken's squadron have taken out four of my pilots: Sam, Boomer, Eve, Runny and I are the only ones left. We've taken out three of their guys. With Badger out it's 5 - 6.
"Rip," Eve says through the intercom. "He's coming your way."
"Roger Spam," I say using Eve's callsign. "I've got him on radar," I say about the jet that just took out Badger and is now coming for me. I now have two jets to worry about. Ken is behind me to my left. I'm looking up, left and right to get a visual fix on the other pilot. It's only at the last second, when he's coming from my left side, when he's almost on top of me that I spot him and send my plane in a sideway roll. Even before I pull out of the roll, I put the plane in a dive. I know if I don't Ken will be there waiting for me to take me out. I get away, but I know I just got lucky. If I hadn't spotted that second jet when I did, I would have been dead in the water. My reprieve doesn't last long. I now have two in pursuit. The only plus to that is that I know where they are.
Left, right, dive. I'm doing everything I can just to avoid a weapon's lock from the two jets behind me. The G forces I'm pulling as I send my plane into every angle known to man are hard on the body, but this is what I have been trained to do. Checking my rear cameras I see Ken veer off to his left, while callsign 'Sinner' stays behind me. It's obvious they've decided to change tactics again. "Alright." I mumble. I was waiting for this moment, waiting for them to split up, so I could take them on one on one again.
The guy behind me is sharp, follows me and dives along. I know I need to draw him in, make my move and do it quickly, so I feign left, see him follow, then hit the brakes and see him overshoot me. My move isn't without danger. Time hitting the brakes just wrong, and you risk sending your plane into a stall. As soon as he comes into my view, I try to get a weapon's lock but just at that moment, Ken passes me on the right flying so close against me, that I have no choice but to spin away from him, and I lose my lock.
"Son of a bitch!" I yell out loud. This is exactly the type of thing that Ken does. He does whatever it takes to win, even when that means jeapordizing another plane. Anytime you fly as closely to a plane as he just did, you might as well be playing Russian Roulette! That move is completely unsanctioned!
"Boomer out," sounds out over the intercom.
"Damn," I respond. 4 - 6. Three bogeys on my tail.
At this point in time, flying becomes a simple question of math. The tactic is to keep one jet following the remaining jets of your opponent and then crowding one of the other jets with the surplus of jets you have. In this case it's me they're going for. Once they pick me off, they crowd the next jet. My last ditch effort here is to engage, attack, try to take out at least one of them down, because I know I can't outfly three planes. Maybe I can even take out two, level the playing field.
Pilot number three is the new player, I see him coming on my right, and decide to go for him first. I pull my plane up as high as I can, exceeding conventional aerodynamic lift (or stall), and then using thrust vectoring for control. I'm up in the cloud using them for visual cover. The stall actually allows me to change my angle of attack on a dime, and when I come back down from being almost vertical, my plane accelerates at a punishing pace. The move is called the Herbst maneuver, and it's enough to catch pilot number three off-guard. I lock and...
BOOYAH! GOT HIM! 4 - 5!
"Damn!" I yell again as my lock warning goes off. Sinner is right behind me, he was just waiting for me to pull out. Right when I think I'm going to be out of the game Eve 'Spam' Davies pulls up behind Sinner forcing him to veer off of my tail.
"Thought you and your suicide move could use some assistance." Eve's voice sounds in my helmet.
"Woohoo, great flying Eve!" I yell.
"We still have three of them behind us," Eve says about the fact that she hasn't been able to shake her tail just yet.
"No prob." I say. "It'll be easier with two of us. Veer left. I'll veer right, and then I'll loop right around behind you. With any luck, I'll be able to take out your tail.
"Roger."
"Gunho out!" Lieutenant Sam 'Firecracker' Curry sounds out, and I fistpump. Sam took out her tail. 4 - 4! "Coming towards your position," she adds.
"Roger, " both Eve and I call out, but we don't wait for Sam to get to our position. Instead we execute our plan veering off into different directions. Ken stays on me while Eve gets two tails. I scramble back as quickly as I can to get behind Eve. When I pull up behind them, Eve is in a dive, I follow all three planes in and manage to get another lock while at the same time also avoiding Ken's.
4 - 3 and the hunters become the hunted. Sam joins our group and tips the scale. There's now three of us: Eve, myself and Sam following Sinner and Razor. Somewhere around Runny is still engaging his tail. Ken breaks off his attack, and disappears into the clouds and out of visual range. I know I have to go hunt for him though. Ken is one hell of a pilot, and this is personal for him. I flew with him for a couple of years, went to the academy with him. Ken always came in second, second at the academy, second during training, dogfights and when it was time for our superior officers to pick someone to detach to the Navy, they picked me and not him. This fight is personal for him, because he always came second to me, and I know he will stop at nothing to win this.
"Firecracker, Spam, you go after Sinner. I'm going after Kami," I say already letting my plane climb.
"Roger," sounds out in my helmet as I keep on climbing. I get a visual on Ken as soon as I break through the clouds, and set in pursuit immediately. Our planes duel above the clouds for minutes on end, I stick to him like glue and am rewarded with a partial lock. Glancing at my radar I see that we are actually flying right above Eve, Sam and Sinner. I know I have him now, he can only go right or left. He can't go up or he'll lose thrust. He can't go down, cause that's where the other fighters are.
Just a few more meters, a few more seconds.
"YES!" I yell, but jubilation turns to horror the moment I see Ken dive.
"NO!"
The next thing I hear is Sam screaming out, and the sound of my own voice yelling and screaming.
"EJECT! EJECT! EJECT!"
Several hours later
USS Enterprise, Sickbay
I've been waiting in in front of the registration desk in sickbay for the last two hours to see Sam to when I suddenly spot Ken Kazinski pass me. I can't believe the nerve of that guy showing his face here right now! In no time, I'm up on my feet and in his face. "You could have gotten her killed!" "What the hell is wrong with you?" I shout.
"I fly to win, and if your girl can't stand the heat, she needs to get out of the kitchen!"
"That was an unsanctioned move Kazinkski, and you know it!" I say pushing him back. "You're a loose cannon Kami, and I am going to make sure you-...
"There wasn't a thing on the radar when I dove!" Kazinkski flies back at me. "It's your girl that veered off course," Ken says. When Kazinkski dove, Sam's plane nearly collided with it. The near collision sent Sam into a spin, and she had to bail from her plane. Sam was safely rescued from the water with minor injuries; mostly bumps and bruises, but rattled. After the accident, Valiant Shield was called off.
"Don't bullshit me, Kazinkski, she was on the radar, you almost killed her!"
"I don't have a clue what you're talking about," he says innocently. "I hope they never let her fly a jet fighter again."
"You're the fucking asshole who cut Sam off!" Eve's voice suddenly rings out behind me. Before I can do anything, Eve rushes him and tackles him to the ground. She gets in a good punch, before I can get her off of him.
"Keep your damn guard dog off of me, McCorrigan!" Ken shouts behind me as I try to keep Eve from going Mike Tyson on Ken again. "Fucking dykes!" Eve dodges my arms and throws herself on Kazinkski. Before I know it, other people mix in with the fight, and a real brawl starts: Navy versus Air Force. I jump in and push as many people back as I can, pull as many off of one another, but before I can prevent it, I get a right hook on the eyebrow from Sinner, and stumble back.
The nurses in sickbay are catching on to what I'm trying to do, and join me in trying to stop the fight as I go in again. I get punched and shoved a few more times, and somehow I get mixed up in the melee of things. Just when I shove one of the guys back who just assaulted me I hear Lauren's voice booming in my ears.
"KNOCK IT OFF, THAT'S AN ORDER!" At her voice, the entire group pulls out of the fight. Out of the corner of my eyes I see Ken and Eve crawl up from the floor both of them with a couple of shiners on them. Also walking into view is Commander Altmann. There's an amused smile pulling at her lips the moment she sees me.
"Great," I mumble, and I file out of sickbay not even once looking up at either Lauren or Stacy.
Lauren's POV
My heart skips a beat when I notice Bo is bleeding right above her eye. The cut looks nasty, painful and it needs to be cleaned or it might get infected. Same thing for Eve's cut and some of the other officers that were fighting. I'm about to say something to Bo about it when I see how tense Bo's body language has become. I look next to me and see Stacy standing there.
Bo files out of the room in amid the nurses taking care of the scrapes and bruises that have gone round.
A couple of hours later
Hangar Bay
Bo's POV
I'm about to leave in the hangar bay after consulting on Sam's plane with Mike McGee, when the voice of Stacy Altmann stops me dead in my tracks.
"You know McCorrigan, you're really good at digging your own grave, aren't you?" Stacy says in her Southern drawl. "Getting mixed up in a brawl. Tsk tsk."
I look up at her, but don't say a word.
"I've made sure there's going to be an investigation into what happened," Stacy says.
"Of course you did."
"That's an investigation on top of the one that's being launched to question your maneuvers. A little birdy came to tell me how you and your prodigee Lieutenant Curry are guilty of flying outside of your parameters, pulling unsanctioned moves. Imagine my not suprise."
I shake my head. "A little birdy, huh? Ken Kazinkski?" I chuckle humorlessly. "Such a loser," I mumble. "Go ahead Stacy, launch your investigation. I have nothing to hide," I say truthfully.
"I will, and whatever we find, some of it will stick, and when it does, I'll make sure it hurts."
"Is that a threat?"
"Not a threat. A reminder, a reminder that I am watching you and that you are going down."
I rub my forehead and inhale when Stacy has left the hangar. I'm about to leave also when Eve walks into view with a dumbfounded look.
"What the hell was that all about?" she asks.
Hangar Bay
Lauren's POV
One of my scheduled surgeries has just been cancelled and I decide, on a whim, to go look for Bo. I ask around and find out Bo is in the hangar. I know we agreed to keep what happened between us under wraps. Of course I knew and know that we can't take the chance of getting caught, but does she really need to avoid me now? Act like I'm not even there? It's been over a week since we came back from the USS Norton, and she hasn't really said two words to me, and just a couple of hours ago, she wouldn't even look at me...
"Of course," I mumble as I walk into the hangar and see none other than Lieutenant Commander Davies standing next to Bo. The pair of them seem engaged in an intense conversation, and neither of them have noticed I'm there.
The longer I stand here waiting for Bo to notice me, the more ridiculous I feel. What am I doing here? Standing around waiting for a conversation to finish so I can go have my first lovers' quarrel with Bo?
Bo's hands have moved into her hair. I can tell she's frustrated. Eve puts her hands over Bo's and guides them back down. She doesn't let go of them, but rather keeps them in her hands. It's an intimate gesture. A gesture of a woman who wants more, who takes every opportunity to touch and let her touch linger.
All of a sudden I feel like an even bigger idiot and turn around to walk away.
That night
Bo's POV
It's one of those nights again. One of those nights when I can't sleep, or I don't want to sleep. I find myself wandering the corridors of the ship. I could go up to the deck like I usually do, but those stars up there that usually comfort me, and keep me focused on my target now just make me think of her.
I've been trying to focus as much as I possibly can on my work, but it's in moments like this when I'm alone that my thoughts wander to Lauren: our kisses and love making are still so fresh in my recollection: her scent and taste, but more than that I miss our talks and her company, I miss being close to her, getting to know her. I miss telling her about my day, and I would so love to tell her about this one; confide in her, tell her about Stacy, lay it all on the line and be honest. I want a real shot for us.
Walking aimlessly -or maybe not so aimlessly at all- I suddenly find myself in sickbay, looking over to where I know her office is. The light is on. I can see Lauren slightly bent over her desk, working. She can't sleep either. I instantly worry about her. I worry she doesn't sleep enough, worry she still has nightmares...
I want to go to her. I want to talk to her, take her top deck so we can lay under the stars like we have before. I want to talk to her, even if I can't tell her what's been going on with Stacy, then I just want to talk to her so she can distract me from today. I know Tamsin told me to stay away, but surely I can talk to her for just a minute?
"Major McCorrigan?" Nurse Madeline Stone's voice startles me out of my staring. "Are you alright? Do you need something?"
"No," I shake my head, and battle an inner freakout at being caught. Nurse Stone has sensed my interest in Lauren before, and although I don't know if the nurse knows Stacy, I can't take that chance. "I um...can't sleep, and I um... thought I felt a headache coming on...but I...
"Not to worry, Major. We have just what you need," she says and disappears. Two minutes later she comes back with a small bottle of aspirin. "A lot of the officers get them. These headaches," she comments. "Commander Altmann is in here every other couple of nights. Must be the stress of the job."
"Yeah," I nod dumbly feeling like I just dodged a bullet. If Stacy is here this often, then I need to stay away from here as far as I can. "Thanks," I say and I walk out of sickbay without talking to Lauren.
Two weeks later
COMM Room
"The Captain called me into her office, told me I was cleared of any wrongdoing with the accident."
"Fucking right you were! Are they taking actions against that prick?" Tamsin asks.
"Kazinkski. He's been suspended for the move he pulled on me, but not for that on Sam. Something about his radar malfunctioning."
"How's that Sam girl doing?"
"I took her up in a double seater today. By the time we landed, she wanted to go up solo again. Yeah, she's doing ok, she'll get there."
"And the psycho?"
"She had to stand and watch as the captain officially cleared me and Sam, "I tell Tamsin with a smile on my lips. "I wish I could have taken a picture of her face. Pissed, with a sidedish of pissed."
"Hah, I do soooooo love it when our system of law does its work!" Tamsin cooes, and I chuckle, but it doesn't take long for me to formulate a more serious thought.
"Do you think she'll back off now? She had a whole lot riding on that investigation, maybe she'll let it go now.."
"That's usually not the way these kinda people work, Bobo. If anything, she'll get nastier."
"Great, so I'll just sit around and wait for that knife in the back to come around whenever?"
"No, I don't want to give her the satisfaction. Plus, we've talked about this. I'll just keep on gathering as much evidence as I can."
"Has she threatened you again?"
"Not since the hangar. I recorded that, just like you said I should."
"Yeah, it's not enough."
"I know, I've got Eve looking into it as well."
"Eve?"
"Yeah, she overheard Stacy threatening me. She knows half the Navy, maybe something will turn up there."
"Well, we need all the help we can get."
"Were you able to find anything on her?
"Nothing so far. I've got a guy working on it, but that bitch covers her tracks better than a Russian junkie prostitute."
"That's...um...unnecessary colorful..."
"I may have been a bit sharp for the prostitute," Tamsin replies and I chuckle along with my best friend.
"How's Lauren?" she asks next.
"I don't know. Haven't talked to her."
"Good," Tamsin says. I inwardly disagree, but don't say anything.
5 days later, 5am
Bo's cabin
"Good morning baby," Lauren says her voice and tone soft like she had reserved just for me. She makes her way over to our bed and and kisses me goodmorning. The taste of coffee lingers on her lips, and I smile happily.
"Good morning, Laur, you're up early," I say. Lauren and I like to sleep in. It's rare she's up this early on a Sunday.
"Hello gorgeous," she purrs, letting her eyes roam over me. With a smirk and one finger she pushes me back into the pillows, hovers over me. I close my eyes, my skin sets in goosebumps anticipating what is to come.
"Lauren.." I whimper when her lips brush my skin, and her skilled fingers disappear beneath my shirt.
"I didn't hear you come in last night." she whispers.
"It was la...late..." I struggle to breathe out as her fingers brush just underneath my nipples. Lauren knows all too well how to tease me. "I didn't want to wake you." Lauren's other hand runs just underneath the elastic of my sleep shorts.
"You should have woken me up. I was waiting for you," she says looking up at me lustfully. "It doesn't matter, I suppose..." she says as she slowly pulls my pants down, and her kisses follow her hands. "I'll take what I wanted yesterday...now..." I whimper at her words. Lauren's tongue finds my clit and my desire for her that is already flowing.
"Mmmmm Isabeau," she moans and my eyes roll into the back of my head as my back bends and arches to her.
"Fuck!" I curse waking up at the blare of my alarm clock. I jump out of bed and into the shower. With a sigh I close the last button on my flightsuit. I'm not looking forward to another day of pretending Lauren means nothing to me. This situation with Stacy better resolve itself shortly or I'll go mad.
Thirty minutes later
Pilots' briefing room
"Don't you look like a ray of sunshine," Eve comments looking up from a stack of files when I step into the pilots' briefing room. There's no one there yet beside her and I. Eve and I have been meeting up here early in the morning since Valiant Shield started. Although the exercise had been cancelled after Sam's accident, we as a group performed better than hoped. Strictly speaking, we won that engagement and it's become clear that the extra classes I had been teaching, training maneuvers had paid off. I've now extended on that class by bringing Eve, Runny, and Boomer in as fellow instructors.
"Is there coffee here?" I grunt out.
"Moody much?" Eve asks with a cheerful laugh.
"Why are you so happy?" I raise a brow. "Stop it," I grouse as I make my way over to the kitchenette with the coffee machine in the far corner of the room."Is there coffee around here somewhere?" I ask eying the empty coffee pot. "Or do you want to be responsible for me going on a murderous rampage in about two minutes flat?"
"Do I look like your maid?" Eve replies.
"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem."
"Top shelf bozo," Eve says rolling her eyes, and I look up.
"Thanks," I manage to mumble. I fiddle around with the beans, but my brain isn't awake yet so I'm stumbling about. Behind me, I can hear Eve's chair being pushed back.
"Alright, stand back Fumbelina," Eve grumbles popping up behind me. She grabs the bag of coffee beans from me, and opens one of the drawers of the cabinet and pulls out a pair of scissors.
"Rough night?" she asks putting the beans in the coffee maker.
"Short night," I say not explaining to my friend why it was short, and that I'm grumpy cause I miss Lauren. "Need coffee. Now." I say in my best robotic voice.
Eve chuckles, and hurries up with the coffee. Ten minutes later I have a mug of steaming hot coffee in my hands. I take a sip and exhale feeling the warm liquid flow through me.
"Congrats on saving the entire ship from my murderous impulses," I say almost cheerfully now I've had coffee.
"I'm awesome, it's true."
"Ah huh," I chuckle and then check out what Eve is working on glancing over her shoulder. "Who are we evaluating today?"
"Lieutenant Wendy. I'm gonna have to fail him. He's about as hopeless at flying as you are at making coffee."
"Good lord, like his name isn't bad enough. Maybe we should get him to make the coffee."
"It's about all he's good for," Eve chuckles, then hesitates a moment. "Hey Bo,.."
"Yeah?" I respond a little distracted already looking at Wendy's file. "Before we start with these things, there's something I need to talk to you about."
"Oh?"
"I don't know what's going on, or how that shit got started, but there are rumors going around about you."
"Rumors?" I ask frowning. "What kind of rumors? Cause I was sorta kidding about killing everyone here," I say winking and taking another sip of coffee.
"That you cheated to get assigned here, that you're a dangerous pilot, that you sleep around to uhm get promoted."
"What? I say looking back up at Eve. "What the hell? Who's saying that?" I ask incredulously.
"Heard it from one of the mechanics. Gave him an earful, but it's not just him, other people too."
I chuckle humorlessly, and shake my head. "It's Stacy," I say. "That bi-" I swallow my words. "This is because we were cleared, because she couldn't pin anything on me."
Lauren's POV
One week later, October 2014, 5.15am
The weather is changing as we move from summer slowly to Autumn. A chill in the air that descends even on these parts when the sun has set. The Enterprise is still in the South Pacific, but we have switched the vicinity of the Solomon islands to that of South America. We'll be deployed here for some time to come and then around Christmas we will head towards Pearl Harbor and dock there. It's rare for a carrier to return stateside when on mission, but then the Enterprise was severely damaged, and although it has been repaired, those repairs have yet to be officially certified.
While the Navy at Pearl Harbor does its inspection, many of the Navy men and women on this ship will be able to book cheap flights home or have family come over for the Holidays. I will be one of them. Next to keeping me informed about my legal battle with Nadia, Ben is also sending me Christmas menus, and Christmas playlists to choose from. I even get the occasional tree pictures from a Christmas tree farm somewhere in Sweden with the request to choose which tree I like best, but to justify that choice based on a predetermined list of characteristics such as height, foliage, size of the treetrunk,...
At times, I think Ben's OCD is even worse than mine.
The change of environment does little or nothing to change my daily routine; it's a constant eb and flow of surgeries, meetings, administration, seeing patients and taking on more executive command. I'm grateful for the routine, grateful that it keeps me distracted enough during the day so that I don't have to think about Bo all the time.
It's been five weeks since Valiant Shield ended, and I left Bo standing dazed in the hangar hanging onto her helmet, four weeks since Sam's plane crashed, and Bo got into a fight. Four weeks also when I made my last attempt to talk to her, and I saw her in an almost intimate embrace with Eve Davies.
It's crazy, insane, unbelievable at times I think how we've gone from seeking one another out whenever possible, having an almost nightly routine to nothing. When I see Bo during breakfast, dinner or lunch, she nods politely, says only the bare minimum, and then joins the rest of the pilots at their table. She forfeited the tennis tournament, and at the weekly senior officers' briefing she either keeps her eyes glued to her notes or looks up into the room at anyone or anything except me.
I've been telling myself that she's only keeping her distance because of what we talked about, but it's time to start being honest with myself. She ignores me. Plain and simple. I know we decided to put aside what happened between us, for now. I know we're not a couple, but I hadn't expected this. I hadn't expected to become something she had to 'avoid.'
And her absence, her avoidance has me second guessing everything. Most of all. It hurts. Being avoided hurts, her absence hurts.
Despite the hurt, my heart still leaps every time I see her. When she looks tired or fatigued, I instantly worry about her. I could see how stressed she was after Sam's accident, how the accident and the investigation weighed on her. Stacy led that investigation which I think only compounded on Bo's stress. I've noticed on more than one occasion Bo's body and demeanor tensing around Stacy Altmann. I'm not sure what to make of that, but as long as Bo doesn't talk to me I can only speculate. As long as she continues to avoid me, I can't help her. However much I would want to, still. Always?
I thought Bo was different. I thought what we had was special, I thought-
I shake my head.
This is exactly why I much prefer science and hard facts. Every time I let my heart decide, I just wind up getting hurt.
I glance over at my clock. 5.30am it reads and I swing my legs out of bed. It's been another restless night with not enough sleep, but thankfully fewer nightmares. I shower and dress quickly. I'm out the door 15 minutes later heading towards breakfast, and then my office. Today is another day of surgeries, check-ups and meetings before lunch. After lunch, it's much of the same, but I'm also scheduled for a call with Doctor Clarke. After 6 weeks in an artificial coma, Admiral Jamison's injuries have healed enough for Doctor Clarke's team to pull him out of it. I'm eager to get an update when they do. I can only hope that whatever damage was caused, it is not permanent.
It's 10am when my otherwise routine day is broken and Petty-officer Clive Haley suddenly shows up at my desk asking to go see the Captain.
At 10.10am I knock on the door to the Captain's cabin that's already open.
"Commander Lewis, please come inside." Captain Grace Roberts says.
"Yes, Captain."
"At ease, Commander."
"Yes Ma'am," I say relaxing my posture.
"There is something I require your assistance with. I would normally ask Commander Altmann to help me with this, but seeing as she is already fully engaged with other legal matters, and this requires a certain level of discretion, I turn to you." Captain Roberts says thoughtfully.
"Yes, Ma'am," I say, my curiosity piqued.
"You have a law degree, do you not?"
"Military law. Yes, Ma'am."
"A lawyer and a doctor," the captain nods. "I suppose I should be glad they didn't give you the command of this ship."
"I turned it down, Ma'am," I deadpan and worry for a second that I've crossed the line. This is a woman I play cards with and joke with on and off, but that is after hours and she's asking me to do something in her capacity as captain. Just as I'm about to apologize she chuckles.
"I like your spirit, Commander, " Grace Roberts smiles. "Now, what I called you in here for; Commander Hall's wife is gravely ill. Cancer, the diagnosis came two days ago," Captain Roberts says, and at her words I instantly feel for my colleague. Although I do not know Commander Hall that well as I do Stacy or some of the medical colleagues I work with, I have always liked Michael Hall; a very competent colleague who has his heart in the right place, and isn't shy to crack a joke either.
"She'd been feeling tired, she thought it was fatigue from work and having to care for two yong children while her husband is overseas. She had a routine check done and then that news," the Captain shakes her head and sighs with obvious emotion. "Suffice to say, the Commander won't be back for a while, I suspect he won't be rejoining us on this mission. Michael, as you know assigned Major McCorrigan as his replacement, and thinks very highly of her, but it has come to my attention that there are some issues with her reputation."
"Her reputation, Ma'am?" I ask surprised.
"There are rumors of fraternization circling around the Major, Commander." I try to keep my face as neutral as I possibly can, but inwardly I'm freaking out. Did someone see us? That kiss on the Norton? That asshole doctor? Am I fired? Is that why Roberts called me in here? Did I just get Bo fired? Did I just ruin her chance at ever joining NASA? Gods! How could you let this happen, Lewis! I chide, and even start mounting a defense in my head, but then Grace Roberts speaks again.
"I want you to vet her, Lauren."
Wait...what?
"There have been some incidents that you may not be aware of at present, Commander."
Incidents? What kind of incidents? I think as the Captain hands me Bo's file. I'm still lost in my head, so it takes me a moment to react and actually take the file from the Captain.
"All the information is in there, but I suggest you consult Commander Altmann on this as she was the one that brought it to my attention."
"Yes Ma'am," I say hiding my confusion.
"The investigation into the incident cleared the Major of any wrongdoing, but there is still that brawl she got caught-up in, and the way she was introduced in the meetings... Well, I think I don't need to explain to you that her appointment would be, at this time and at best,...controversial. What I want from you is to vet her privately, either substantiate or disprove these rumors, make sure she is capable and acceptable to step into Hall's shoes for the remainder of this mission should that be necessary."
"Yes Ma'am," I nod trying to find my cool again.
"Is this assignment going to be a problem for you, Commander? You spent quite some time alone with the Major on the USS Norton. I understand that you and her get along."
"We did, Ma'am. Her and I have a good rapport," I say without flinching.
"Can I count on your objectivity in the matter?"
"My personal relationship with the Major will not interfere with my work Captain," I hear myself say.
"Good," the captain says. "I was impressed with you when you were sent to the Norton to operate on Admiral Jamison, Lauren. The ability to put your personal feelings aside and do your job is a trait I value highly. I trust you will impress me again."
USS Enterprise
Lauren's office
Minutes later I am outside the Captain's cabin heading back towards sickbay with Bo's file. I place the file on my desk and stare at it for a good while.
Fraternization.
Instead of delving right into Bo's file, I had chosen to carry on with my daily routine, but every time I glance back at the green file on my desk that word pops up in my head, mocking me, haunting me.
Me investigating Bo on charges of fraternization is a mockery of justice. She's guilty of it plain and simple. I don't need an investigation to tell me that. I know she is, and I am just as guilty, perhaps even more so.
OPNAVINST 5370.2B. The Navy's code of conduct regarding fraternization has been plaguing me on and off ever since I met Bo. Never more so when Ensign Quincy showed up at our cabin ready to walk in on a very naked Bo and I, and I hid in the bathroom.
"Personal relationships between officers of a different rank are considered fraternization when they are prejudicial to good order and discipline. Examples of those types of relations can include, but are not limited by: shared living accommodations, borrowing money, sexual relationships, dating,..."
Picking through the Navy's words like any good lawyer should, the word 'can' is an interesting one as it means here that dating and having sexual relationships with a fellow officer is in itself not a chargeable offense. In fact, there are plenty of officers that date, are in a relationship, and or are married. Close personal relationships between officers are only problematic for the military when you factor in the variable of proximity, when these relationships become prejudical to good order and discipline. To this the Navy's code of conduct states the following:
Personal relationships between officers are allowed as long as they do not undermine the senior officer's objectivity, undermine his or her authority, or that it does not result in actual or apparent preferential treatment.
Objectivity, levelheadedness, professionalism... these are words I live by, but yet I let myself get carried away with Bo.
Even as a Major in the Air Force, Bo needs to follow orders from her superior Navy officers as long as she is on loan. And while I am not Bo's direct superior officer. I am a senior officer, and would be her direct superior in any and all medical decisions. I'm guilty across the board.
My objectivity, my authority. Apparent and actual. It's been tainted, thrown out of the window, gone.
I let it get that far, and now I have to investigate Bo on charges?
It's a joke, right?
I should turn myself in. I should report back to the Captain, tell her about Bo and I, tell her I slept with her. Tell her everything, explain it to her. Grace Roberts is a professional, and she'll take those measures she as a captain should take, but maybe I'll reach the person, the woman behind the Captain. Perhaps the woman will understand and if she does, I will at least be able to hold my head up high, and know that as an officer I did the honorable thing.
There's just one problem with that line of thinking.
Bo's career.
Coming clean to the captain about what I did is one thing. If my career needs to take a fall for it, then so be it. Bo is a storm that came crashing into my life, and although I am fully committed to taking responsibility for that, I feel she was unavoidable for me. I was always going to give into her. I was never going to be able to resist.
But Bo's career?
No. Coming clean is not an option. I'll just have to lie by omission.
That leaves the other reason I haven't opened Bo's file yet.
More so than being confronted with my own duplicity, I am afraid of what is in that file. What did the captain mean with 'incident' or was it plural, incidents?
By now it's close to 11pm and my working day is long behind me. I have no excuses left to keep the file closed. I set myself behind my desk and open it. I read quickly and with growing consternation until I come across an incident reported by Stacy Altmann.
I feel like someone just sucker-punched me.
The next day
I work through the day keeping to my schedule; and receive another phone call from Doctor Clarke. After his team failed to pull the admiral out of his coma, another successful attempt was made today, and the signs are encouraging:his speech is still jumbled and dissociative, the Admiral seems to be conscious, aware of his surroundings and who he is. My afternoon is busy with a stream of sailors coming in all with relatively the same symptoms, a sure sign that there's a virus going around. It's not until late in the afternoon that I go back to the file I left behind on my desk, decide to start my investigation, and find Stacy in her office bent over a stack of papers some ten minutes later.
"Well, howdy there Doctor Lauren," Stacy says in that Southern, boisterous way I'm used to of her.
"Hey, can I come in?"
"Course," she says, and motions me in. I close the door behind me.
"I was just about to suggest we go the Mess Hall to talk about whatever it is you want to talk to be about, but if you're closing the door on me, it must be important."
"I'm here on official business."
Stacy scrunches her brows. "Oh?"
"Isabeau McCorrigan."
"Ah," Stacy's mouth pulls into half a smile. "The major. Did the captain send you to vet her?"
"She did."
"Well, I'm sorry about that Lauren," Stacy says.
"Sorry?"
"Yes, sorry. I know you and her get along, so this investigation must not be very pleasant for you."
"Well, to be fair to the major, I did only just start my investigation."
"Of course," Stacy says, and she looks up at me smiling. I can tell her smile is forced. "How can I help?"
"I've observed..." I say starting off tentatively. "A sort of tenseness between you. I'm curious though, because except for that kiss you reported her for, there seems to not be any provocation or reason for the friction that is there."
Stacy nods, and gets up from behind her desk. "Can I get you something to drink? Cup of coffee? I'm fixing myself one," she adds with a smile.
"Just some water, thank you."
"Of course," Stacy says and turns towards the corner of her office where she has her own small kitchen. She fixes me a glass of water and pours herself a cup of coffee. She takes a sip from her coffee, and then looks up at me.
"There is a certain 'friction' between us," Stacy confirms. "When she came on board, I was more than willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I'm afraid her actions have only confirmed what I knew from her in the past."
"The past?"
"I know Bo McCorrigan from college," Stacy says and I don't know if I hide my surprise well or not, but Stacy doesn't seem to notice. "She and I were at Stanford together. She was younger, three years, and when she was introduced to me through mutual friends, I took it upon me to look out for her. I could tell Bo had potential; she was pretty, smart and just had a charm about her, so I introduced her to my friends, acquaintances, the better circles. That's what my parents taught me to do, it's common politeness."
Stacy looks up, and I nod. "Of course," I say. Stacy and I have comparable backgrounds; she was brought up as a Southern Belle and I as a rich kid from Upstate New York. The politeness to include others is engrained in us.
"Bo was a wild child, Lauren. Partying, drinking,.. Every week I'd see her with someone new: man, woman,... She and that best friend of hers, Tamsin. She was the same. Mind you, I never took offense, it was college after all,...we all experimented, but the thing with Bo and Tamsin was that they kept their grades up, and then rumors started spreading; rumors that they had stolen an exam, rumors that Bo wasn't just sleeping around with students."
"I see.." I say slowly. "And was anyone ever able to prove those rumors?"
Stacy nods. "I never said anything, never tattled on her, but I saw the exam myself, and I suppose it was from that day on that I started looking at her differently, that I just knew she wasn't to be trusted. A couple of months later, I found her in bed together with my boyfriend at the time, Kyle."
"I see," I say again, and I fight the instinct to sigh. If what Stacy is telling me is true, then I understand why she would be weary of Bo, I understand the friction between them.
"When I knew she would be coming on board, I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. People change, and she had an excellent record. But then I saw her that night at Clifton House fawning over that God awful Congressman that can't keep his hands to himself, and then Senator Dennis. Of course, her charms didn't work on the Senator, so she scampered off." I wince thinking back to that night. Stacy never saw what I did, but I know Bo did more than simply try to 'charm' the congressman. There's a sickening feeling that settles into the pit of my stomach.
"Then she comes on board, and right off the bat, she's everyone's favorite. I kept my eye on her, because I was weary of her, and I was right. It didn't take long before that girl was flaunting it again, being overtly friendly and flirty. For a time I was even worried about her going after you... She can't be trusted."
"She did save me and seven other people."
"Of course she did, and I'm very grateful that she did, but that doesn't change the fact that she uses her looks and her charms to get where she wants to get. She's not even 28 and she's the poster child for the Air Force. That pilot I talked to, Kazinkski, he told me that Bo is an okay pilot, but that the instructors would always give her extra credit for smiling at them, that he could never compete with her looks."
"I hardly think we should take the word of a pilot who's just been discredited by the Major as being objective."
"Oh, I know that Lauren," Stacy says. "But, it's not just the pilot. I see her roam the corridors at night, even when she's not on shift. What the hell is she doing then?" Where is she going? I have no proof she's sleeping around, but there are rumors of her spreading again, and she and Lt. Commander Davies? The major claims that was only a drunken kiss, a dare and that she turned Davies down afterwards, but if you turn someone down, would that someone then proceed to hug you and stay best buddies? Those two are inseperable...I don't believe it." I clench my jaw at Stacy's words remembering Bo and Eve's embrace in the hangar. I also have to add my own experience with Bo to Bo's list of indiscretions, and I suppress another sigh.
I may have to come to terms with the fact that I completely misjudged Bo. I've been blinded by her I realise. Ever since she saved me, she could do no wrong and I simply overlooked any and everything negative about her. I get up from my seat across Stacy's, thank her for the water and her cooperation and leave her office in a daze. I want to barge into whatever room Bo is and confront her with what I just learnt from Stacy, but I realise I need time to organize my thoughts before that. I head towards the Mess Hall.
Mess Hall
Bo's POV
"I still don't understand why you just don't talk to her, " Eve says.
"Who?" I frown.
"Your fairy godmother, " Eve says rolling her eyes. "Commander Lewis, the woman that sends you into a swoon every time she passes by."
"She doesn't-"
Eve snaps her fingers annoyed trying to get me to look up. "She just passed us and you just zoned out staring at her for like a minute flat."
"Nah-"
"Case in point," Eve interrupts me again. "You haven't even touched your food yet," Eve says just as I use my fork to push a piece of broccoli around on my plate.
I frown. "Yeah, okay."
"Talk to her."
"I can't. I don't want her involved," I say. "It's bad enough you are. The Stacy thing is such a mess, and she's got her own things to deal with," I say thinking to what Lauren has to deal with with Nadia.
"So you think it's the better strategy to just keep her in the dark and basically ignore her."
"I um..."
"I'm not saying you should bang-"
"Will you keep your voice down?" I cut Eve off. "Jeez, I'm trying to keep her out of trouble!" I say looking around to see if anyone overheard us. Our usually loud and rowdy table is undermanned right now as most of the other pilots have gone back on shift while Eve and I have the night off, but we are by no means alone here.
Right at that moment I see Stacy Altmann walk into the Mess Hall, and I signal as much to Eve. Eve instantly shuts up, and her and I get up from the table. When Eve and I nod in recognition, Stacy flashes me a smile that instantly spoils my mood. We exit the Mess Hall, and continue our conversation walking back to our cabins.
"That hag was grinning like a Cheshire cat."
"You saw that, huh?"
"I'm just wondering if saying nothing is playing right into Stacy's hand," Eve says picking up her thought from before.
"It's just until this Stacy thing is behind me. It'll keep her safe," I say.
"You really think you need to keep her safe?"
"I don't want to take any chances," I say remembering Tamsin's words.
"I get wanting to protect her, but I think you at least owe her an explanation. You just dropped her like a hot potato. That shit ain't cool."
I let Eve's words filter in and sigh softly.
One hour later
Bo's cabin
"Just a sec," I call out when I hear a knock on the door. I pull the door open and see Lauren standing there. "Lauren." I say surprised and I stick my head out of the door make sure Stacy isn't around.
"Do you have a minute?" Lauren asks.
"Um sure," I say. "I... we were just finishing a couple of reports." I tell Lauren who's wearing her dress uniform, and has a briefcase with her. Behind me I can hear Eve getting up from her chair.
"I'll finish these in my cabin," Eve says as she scoops up her papers. Moments later she brushes past Lauren and I. From the door, Eve gives me a wink, and I nod.
"Come on in, or did you want to go to the Mess Hall?"
"I'm here in an official capacity," Lauren's voice drones out.
"Going around making house calls?" I ask raising a brow.
"An official legal capacity." Lauren says and my brow furrows further because I have no clue what she's talking about, and because this isn't the type of convo I was expecting to have.
"Legal? I thought you were a doctor..."
"I also have a legal degree."
I smile. I suppose with Lauren I should never be surprised, but I am.
"That's quite impressive, Doctor Lewis."
"Thank you Major, " Lauren says in a tone that tells me she's not here to socialise.
"Okay.." I say slowly. "So, how can I help? Won't you sit down?" I say pointing at the small two seater sofa right next to my desk. Lauren nods and takes a seat.
"Commander Hall's wife is sick and he won't be coming back for some time."
"Oh, that's terrible." I say and Lauren nods.
"He assigned you as his replacement," Lauren says. "Seeing as this assignment will likely be for the remainder of the mission, and it would mean a field promotion for you, the captain has sent me to vet you."
"Okay," I say a little confused. "I've just been cleared from any wrongdoing with the incident. What is there left to vet?"
"There are certain rumors that came to the captain's attention."
"Rumors," I say. "Of course," I stifle a sigh. "And they reached the captain you say?" I say almost sarcastically.
"You're not surprised."
"Can't say that I am," I say vaguely. Before I start explaining anything to Lauren I want to know exactly what rumors, I want to know exactly what lies Stacy has been spreading about me.
Lauren nods. "Before we start this conversation, I would like to point out that I will be checking and verifying what you tell me to the best of my ability."
I nod my head. I understand Lauren has a job to do, but I can't really say I appreciate the cold and distant tone she's using towards me.
"I have a right to know what these rumors are exactly, right?"
"Of course," Lauren says and she reaches into the briefcase she's got with her. Out of it she pulls out a file. Major I. McCorrigan, it reads on the greenish front cover.
"There are several reports of recounted unprofessional conduct with a fellow officer. The most serious of which added to your file is the witness testimony of a senior officer. There are also..."
I listen to Lauren talk, telling me there are rumors that I sleep around, that I'd gotten my promotions that way, that I've been using my looks my entire life to get ahead. There's also the rumor that I'm reckless, that -even though the investigation cleared me- I was responsible for the incident with Sam, and the fight afterwards. Then there's word of my arrogance that apparently knows no bounds and the fact that I'm not even a good pilot, that I lack real skill.
What Lauren is telling me, is not new. These rumors are the same rumors I've been fighting against the entire week. I was able to dispell the rumor that I was a bad pilot fairly quickly. I've flown against practically every pilot in the squadron, and I won every and each encounter including that against Commander Hall. I've also scored more 'Ok Underlines' than any other pilot here, but the rumor that I get ahead in my career by sleeping around is proving harder to squash. Pilots I know and am close to have stepped up to me, have told me straight up that they don't believe any of what's been going round. Others have done no such thing, and although I haven't had to deal with any nasty comments so far, the looks I am getting, tell me more than enough.
"I'm here to record your side of things," Lauren says and takes out a dictaphone not unlike the one I've been using to tape my conversations with Stacy. "I suggest we tackle these points one by one."
"Sure," I say calmly, and at my reply Lauren presses the record button.
"Let's start with the rumors that you are a less than adequate pilot," Lauren suggests and I nod in reply. Lauren is easing me into this interrogation.
"Sure, I learnt how to fly at the age of thirteen. I was fifteen when I had my pilot's license, a year before I was legally allowed to take the exam. By that time I was entering air shows. I won my first air show when I was sixteen, and by the time I was eighteen and ready to go to college, I had won every show there was to win in the country. The Air Force agreed to pay for my studies because they were aware of my skill, aware of my talents. I was a prodigy, even back then. When I entered the Academy I finished top of my year, every year. That wasn't because I smiled at my instructors, or slept with them. To believe that is an affront to the Air Force Academy and the fine instructors and people that work there. It was because I consistently broke every record that was ever held there. I'm not sure if that information is in my file, but it is easily verified. I can tell you much the same for days I spent flying for the Air Force. I worked my ass off, I flew the simulators, worked out every detail, every curve, angle and rotation until it was perfect, textbook, and would then see if I could improve on it. Even here, I've outflown, and even outlanded everyone. Anyone who suggests otherwise, I will gladly take up to the skies and let my flying to the talking for me."
I'm aware that my tone has bite to it, that I sound defensive, but then I've had to deal with this stuff for an entire week, and I've had to deal with Stacy's antics and bullying for even longer than that. It's getting old, and my patience is wearing thin. What isn't helping my mood is the fact that Lauren doesn't show any emotion. Her face is stoic, her body language is unmoving. I'm used to seeing her alive, lit up even when I'm around her. I take a deep breath preparing for what is to come. Seeing as I was cleared of any wrongdoing related to Sam's accident and the fight afterwards, Lauren doesn't ask me to react to those rumors. Up next is the lithany of accusations that I've been schmoozing up to everyone and anyone: most notably Commander Hall, Lt. Commander Washington, Eve and Sam.
"Let's start with Commander Hall," Lauren suggests and I nod my head.
"If I have ly facts straight, you were appointed as instructor after only two weeks, and just after landing your plane on a carrier for the first time in your life."
"That is true, but Commander Hall didn't ask me to instruct landing techniques. He asked me to instruct air combat techniques, techniques the Air Force has been instructing me in for years. I suspect he was always going to use my experience to teach the pilots here. I think he just wanted to make sure first that I could land my jet on the carrier without crashing."
Out of the corner of my eyes I see Lauren nod and take notes.
"At one point in time Commander Hall asked you to join the Senior Officer briefings," Lauren asks looking back up from her notepad. "Why do you think that was?"
I chuckle. "Come on, Lauren, you know why he did that."
Lauren leans forward and presses the 'stop' button on the recording device. "Major McCorrigan, may I remind you this is an official interview and to address me with my proper rank. I'm going to rewind, and then will you please answer the question."
I stifle a huff and nod. "Course, yes," I say. I take another deep breath and try to not let my temper get the better of me. "I apologize, Commander." Once Lauren has rewinded back to her question, I speak again.
"When the commander promoted me I had been teaching my classes for a couple of months. The pilots were benefitting from those classes, I was liked and respected. After the helicopter accident, there were several pilots who felt I should have been commendated for that in some way. I believe it was Lt. Commander Davies who first suggested I become Squadron Leader in our team. Others followed. Commander Hall then asked for a vote, and almost every pilot in the room supported my promotion."
"And for the record, your relationship with him was never what could be described as 'inappropriate?"
"No," I say firmly shaking my head. "Commander Hall is a professional through and through. We have a good working relationship, I have great respect for the commander, and I believe he does for me as well."
"And Lieutenant Commander Washington?"
"We are friends, and colleagues. I've worked more closely with him than others when he's asked me to run sims with him, but there is nothing inappropriate about our friendship."
"And Lt. Commander Davies?" Lauren asks looking up. For a moment I think I can see a flicker of emotion flash in her eyes, but I can't be sure.
"Much the same as Lt. Commander Washington. She is my closest friend here on the ship, now that she has become an instructor we work closely and well together."
"You are aware of the fact that there is mention of an incident in your file between you and the Lt. Commander?"
"I am."
"And you are aware that that incident was logged by one of the senior officers."
"I am."
"You are not denying it."
"No, I stand by the explanation I gave in the file," I say calmly.
"I must also inform you that that same Commander has given testimony of a pattern of behavior that questions that explanation, and warrants further investigation into what happened."
"A pattern of behavior?" I furrow my brow. "Is there a record of what the commander testified to?" I ask.
Lauren digs into her briefcase and pulls out a single piece of paper. I read it quickly, my anger growing with every sentence. One passage in particular has me fuming.
"This is-" I swallow my words as I get up. "This is-" I reach down for the recording device and press the stop button. Lauren looks up at me. "This is horseshit, Lauren," I say.
"Major McCorrigan,-"
"No," I shake my head. "Please, don't call me that," I say. "The recording device is off, and we are more than just simple ranks to one another."
"Major, you need to address this-"
"It's a lie, Lauren."
"If you are worried that your past indiscretions..."
"You're not listening, Lauren. What Stacy is telling you, it's a LIE!"
"In that case, this is your best chance at refuting it." Lauren says with a calm that is almost maddening.
"Right," I say. I get up from my chair and move to the small fridge in my room. Right now too much outrage is coursing through me than I know what to do with. I feel if I get up and move about I can at least channel that away partly. I pull one of the glasses from my cupboard, and dig into the fridge. Every action has a little aggression behind it, but at least I don't slam the fridge door.
"Would you like some water?" I ask. Lauren shakes her head 'no' in reply, I pour myself a glass of water and take a drink. The water is cold, refreshing and it settles me a little. Lauren's finger is on the record button again and she presses play.
"For the record, I find it ridiculous that I'm asked to justify events that happened over six years ago," I blurt before I can stop myself.
Lauren's POV
Bo takes another drink of her water and sits back down in her office chair. She's finished her water now, and she plays with the glass in her hands, squeezing it harder than she should. I know she's vexed, annoyed, her entire body screams it, I also recognize she's doing her best to keep her temper at bay.
"I was twenty two when I met Stacy at Stanford," she says. "At that time I was going through a rough period, and I partied and drank a lot. I will admit to that. My partner, -I should say my fiancee, at the time, had just dumped me after three years, and I thought I could numb the pain with booze and going out. I lost myself there for a while, and my grades started to slip. I was so heartbroken that I honestly didn't care. Luckily I had a best friend who was there to talk sense into me, and get me back on track. Tamsin and I still went out, but that's the way we were: work hard, party hard."
Bo looks over at me, and I look down away from her to my paper again. Despite my own conflicted emotions about Bo at this time, I feel for her having to divulge intimate details of her private life from over six years ago.
"Did you at that time have many sexual partners?" I ask and inwardly cringe at the question.
"That depends on your definition of 'many', I suppose."
"More than five?"
"Yes," she admits.
"More than ten?"
"No."
"And the exam?" I ask.
"A law ethics exam."
"Law exam?" I ask frowning slightly.
"Yes, not one of my exams," I hear Bo say. "One of my friends got dared into stealing it, somehow my friend managed to do that, but it was returned the next day without it ever being opened."
My lips pull into a sceptic smile. "Do you have proof of that?"
"My friend failed the exam."
"Your friend?"
Bo leans forward and presses the pause button. "Can you promise me that I am the only one that will possibly get into trouble by what I'm telling you now?"
"Yes," I nod my head. "This is purely an internal investigation. Once it's been reviewed, there will be no legal action following any other person."
Bo nods and I press the record button again.
"Tamsin, Tamsin Skarson. She treated it like she was afraid of it. I even remember a bunch of us sitting round the breakfast table with that thing laying in the smack middle of the table. We all kinda laughed at Tamsin for not even wanting to touch it."
"And how did Commander Altmann find out about the exam?"
"She came into the kitchen with Kyle, saw it lying there."
"Were you involved in stealing it?"
"No, I was working the night before. I worked at the local bar where we all hung out, I had a shift. I remember that night because I had a couple of drunk idiots puke up the place."
"Is there anyone who can testify to that?"
"It's been six years, Commander."
"Did you sleep with Kyle Preston?"
"No," Bo says, but her answer is loaded. I've become familiar with her body language, and I know she's holding back.
"That's it? Just no?"
"Just no."
"Major,.."
"Stanford Police department, case file 556758. If they don't have it anymore, I can ask Tamsin for a copy."
"Fair enough," I say and write down the case file Bo mentioned. "Let's track back to the incident logged by Commander Altmann. You didn't deny it."
"It happened."
"Can you please recount the night's events once again."
"Why?"
"Because Major, all evidence up to this point is circumstancial against you," I say keeping my voice even. "The Navy cannot hold you accountable for things you did six years ago in college, we can only use it to establish a pattern of behavior, an assessment of your personality. The incident reported by Commander Altmann, however, is a different matter. In light of why we are here, it is the most poignant and weighted argument of the dossier against you. The more details I know about what happened that night, the better I might be able to help you verify your story," I drone out.
Anger is a sneaky companion. It stirs underneath, but hides with time. When you think you've long parted ways, it sneaks up on you again, settles in the pit of your stomach only to expose those ugly sides to you, you wish you could keep hidden, you wish weren't there. I feel my anger building with each word Bo tells me about that night. How Eve and her had been drinking and laughing, how she had had too much to drink and had started to feel lightheaded, how she and Eve had started dancing, how that dance had started off as just two people joking, then to something close and sensual. She explains in detail like I ask of her, but with each word that comes closer to that kiss she shared with Eve, she tears down any chance I have at being professional about this.
And then it clicks. Something I hadn't realized before, something perhaps I read over in the file in the first place because that kiss in itself was hurtful enough. I now realize when she kissed Eve. I don't know how long I zone out of the conversation, but it is long enough for Bo to notice, because when her words start registering again, her hand is placed over mine and the recording device is on pause once more.
"It didn't mean anything Lauren," she says. She's looking at me, searching my eyes, looking for some way to connect to me.
"That was the night I told you about Nadia," I say feeling color drain from my face. I hadn't put two and two together yet, but now that I have, I want to scream, I want to kick something, I want to do whatever I can to numb this pain I feel tearing through me. In this moment all of my worst fears are being realized, they've been affirmed, and I'm thrown back to all those years ago when I had been cheated and duped by love before.
"Lauren, please, please! It didn't mean anything!", she pleads. "I was drunk, and I..."
I nod. "I remember, you were drunk, and if you were drunk and kissing Eve didn't matter, then I suppose that conversation we had afterwards didn't matter either!" I say sharply.
"No, no! That meant everything to me!"
"Come off it, Bo! I thought that night that maybe you came looking for me!" I snap, and my anger finally takes center stage. "I thought, maybe, just like me, you were hoping to run into me, but the only reason you came home early was because you wanted to log your presence on the Enterprise that night. Get yourself an alibi. If Stacy hadn't caught you that night, you would have slept with Eve!"
"What? No! Lauren, no!"
I yank my hand back. "I was just an alibi," I say with consternation. "And afterwards on the Norton, I was just a one-night-stand. Stacy was right." I say. "I never should have trusted you. How could I trust somebody who steals, who kisses one person, then comforts another? Is this what you do all the time?"
"What, you believe her?" Bo ask incredulously.
"I did see you steal from a Congressman, Bo, butter up a Senator afterwards! It doesn't exactly help with your credibility! I've seen how Davies looks at you, how she touches you, and for goodness' sake Bo, do you even realize this is the first time we've talked since we slept together! I had to have an official reason to talk to you so you would even acknowledge me!"
"Lauren, I wanted to come see you, and explain. I ignored you to protect you, Laur-"
"Don't! Don't treat me like I am an idiot, Bo! You dumped me! I should have seen you for what you really were, I should have seen through you, but I was blinded by you! Gods, I was an idiot. Everything Stacy told me is true, you can't be trusted. I should have reported you when I had the chance!"
Bo's eyes go wide at my words. There is anger brimming there, but tears too.
"You believe her, you believe Stacy." Bo says closing her eyes. Tears roll over her cheeks, and they make my breath hitch, my anger leave me like air a balloon when it's just been pricked. Bo nods and reaches into her pocket. She throws me a recording device much like the one I'm using now. "Look up the case file, Lauren, listen to what's on that recording, or don't," she says. "It doesn't matter."
"I'm done here." Bo turns her back towards me and walks out of the room.
Bo's POV
Rather than being hurt or gutted, I choose to be angry. I'm angry at Lauren for believing the word of a pathological liar, and I'm mad at myself for letting it get this far, but more than anything else, I'm pissed off at the person whose fault this is. Consequences and warnings be damned. Stacy was at the route of all of this bullshit, and it's time to end it one way or another. This fight with Lauren was the last straw.
If Stacy wants me gone, then so be it.
If she wants my head on a platter, then so be it.
If this means ruining my chances at NASA, then so be it.
At the end of the day I need to do what is right, what is just, what feels right for me and letting myself get pushed into a corner like I have been for the last couple of weeks while Stacy bullied me, isn't me.
I know I'm not the most diplomatic, I'm a hothead. I'm impulsive and rash in my thinking. It's something I've been able to filter out when I'm up in the sky, but here on the ground, I stand my ground, I don't back off from a just fight. I don't take shit from people, not even from a superior officer.
I'm about three doors away still marching towards my goal in righteous indignation when I suddenly feel something to the back of my neck, and the world fades to black.
So, that's it for Chapter 7! Now! Don't kill me! Yes, yes, I know they're on the outs again just after they got together, but they were never going to be able to carry on their relationship on the Enterprise as they were on the Norton, and there is a point to their fight! :-)
And Oo...poor Bo... I wonder who knocked her out. :-/
So..something that's been on mind for a while now, something I want to ask you guys before I reply to your reviews.
You guys know how I'm always asking for reviews on what I write and I do that basically because I really am, profoundly so, interested in what you gals think.:-) Over the stories you have been awesome, but as I've been building up this dialogue with you guys, it's also made me curious... curious... yes...about YOU :-)
Who are you? Am I amongst my gay people or are there straight people too? Are there some guys here?
Names anyone? No worries, I'm not trying to get your first, last name and address here. Just a first name perhaps?
Where are you from?
Who is your favorite author here?
Your favorite story? What kind of story do you like to read?
Any lesbian movie or book I need to read? I've gone through all of the Lesbian movies on netflix so badly that I've jumped to documentaries and Scifi now. As a side note why are most of the lesbian movies so depressing? I love drama and heartache, but please give me a good ending! :)
I'm open to anything and everything :-) If you don't want to share, that's cool too, but I am genuinely interested:-)
ALSO, for you crazy kids that are reading my stuff. I launched a question/a petition for the scenes in Lost Girl you would have wanted more background to in the show. You can find that question at the bottom of the last chapter for Heritage, and you'd be helping me immensely if you guys could suggest a couple. Just type the suggestions in the review box and then maybe I can use them in one of the upcoming episodes. :-)
Thanks!
Replies to reviews
Different guest: This story plays out in two separate times frames. First chapter happens in 2018, the others are set four years in the past. We will be going back to 2018/2019 in a couple of chapters. Also, Bo has memory issues and the way she thinks some things went down, well...that's not always the case.
Arrasto: That scene with Bo playing helicopter rescue pilot wasn't planned. I put that in there to get Bo out of the way for a day basically, but glad it kept you on your toes! :-) And 'effing' Stacy is definitely a big part of the story, but I can neither confirm nor deny your hunch at this time. ;-) Just keep on reading? :)
Frenchi: I can happily state that I've figured out how to deal with Bo's memory loss in the future! Yay! I agree completely with you. Even if Bo never gets her memory back, she'll always fall in love with Lauren and those two will always want to be together.
InsatiablyCurious:Yay! I'm glad you decided to finally come out of lurking!:-) And whoa! So cool that you noticed the parallel between the first and the sixth chapter! I didn't think anyone would notice, but yes it was planted there using the same wording. There's a couple of other references too, but I'll work those in when we get back to 2018 and see Lauren's POV ;-) I'm afraid it will be hard on Lauren indeed. To be honest, I like writing heartbreak. Can't be helped! But, I also love good endings. ;-)
Bahh: Do love my loyal readers. Thanks! :-)
Susan: I'm afraid I'm a drama queen who believes heartbreak is just part of writing a good love story. I think there's something so beautiful about sacrifice and heartache that I can't help but write it time and time again. So yeah, I put my characters through hell, before I smooth everything over again. :-/ I suppose I can only hope you guys don't mind it, or that you like it as much as I do. :-)
Mulderchick and Shomed:Hope you liked this update then! Also hope you won't have to wait too long for the next chapter. Mulder! Welcome to the wonderful world of reviewing:-)
Casey: Wrote it in February 2019. I used to post chapter every week or so, sometimes even quicker, but those were stories I just needed to edit. With the stories I am currently writing it takes me longer because I'm actively writing them.
