"So, you excited to be back?" Jiraiya asked as he and his travel companion walked at a sedate pace. He received no verbal answer, just a raised eyebrow. "You still mad I borrowed-"

"Pilfered, absconded with or burgled,"

"Borrowed some money? C'mon, kid, it was our last gasps of freedom before we returned and I needed to get my head right. Besides, you can't deny we've had a lot of fun these past three years."

And Naruto wouldn't deny it. There were rough patches, one in particular neither would ever forget, but Jiraiya had shown Naruto much of the continent and been a really good sensei to boot. In truth, Naruto wasn't mad but whereas Jiraiya had his fun last night, Naruto wanted one last prank before he returned.

"Hmm, you're right on both accounts. So, thirty percent."

"Excuse me?" Jiraiya asked in disbelief.

"That's the interest on your loan, thirty percent and interest compounds daily, Godfather."

"You're a shark, you know that! Ungrateful brat!" Jiraiya shouted and pointed in mock outrage. Naruto merely waved him off.

"Fine, I guess we can consider it a gift. I mean, I stole that money from you anyway so… that shakes out."

The toad sage had a look of disbelief cross his face, he was the one that stole money not the other way around. He could only laugh. "I wish we had another year of this, kid."

Naruto smiled, "Yea, it was nice being free but I have missed home."

Jiraiya smiled at that, which didn't go unnoticed by Naruto. "Oi, what are you smiling about you old pervert?"

"Way to ruin the mood, you inconsiderate brat. Also, don't call me an old pervert," Jiraiya said, putting Naruto in a headlock, "who took you on countless adventures? Helped you develop from an elf into a respectable sized young man? Who got you laid twice? Me, the envy of men and desire of women; Jiraiya the toa-" Jiraiya's monologue was cut short as Naruto effortless lifted him off his feet. "What are you doing, brat? Put me down!"

"Wait for it, Perv."

"Wait for what?" Jiraiya asked and was answered with a large ball of water falling on his head, being dropped after it hit. As Jiraiya sputtered Naruto laughed uproariously at the sight of the legendary Sannin.

"I-hahahaha- thought-hahaha- toads were amphibious. You look like a drowned rat-hahahaha- 'ttebayo!"

"Straight to hell with you, brat."

"Same to you. Stop always bragging about stuff or I'm going to tell Tsunade-obachan you have inappropriate dreams about her."

"Like I'd be embarrassed over a sex dream. You suck at blackmail."

"Oh, if only they were sex dreams. No, I had to hear your weirdo poetry. Oh, Tsunade, as the toad mistakes the well for the ocean-" Naruto had to stop and dodge Jiraiya striking at him.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Thirty-five percent."

"You're a crook."

"That's fine, I'll be a crook… who gets thirty-five percent."

"What happened to it being a gift? And it's money you stole from me!"

"You didn't know that when you took it and why should you get to embezzle what I so artfully stole? Thirty-five percent seems fair."

"We're family, that's got to count for something you heartless fiend."

"Fine, forty percent."

"WHAT!" Naruto had kept a neutral face but broke again at Jiraiya's reaction. Jiraiya sulked as the duo reached the main entrance. Izumo and Kotetsu processed them and welcomed the duo back warmly. "Alright, kid, I know you've got a lot of things you want to do so let's debrief with Tsunade."

"Ok, I'll get us there fast," Naruto said, reaching for Jiraiya. The Toad Sage slapped his godson's hand away.

"No."

"No?" Naruto asked, slightly amused.

"Hell no. Never again, for any reason," Jiraiya proclaimed, face stern and unyielding.

"It's not that bad, you're overreacting."

"I don't care," was Jiraiya's response before disappearing in a swirl of leaves. Naruto rolled his eyes and followed Jiraiya's lead, disappearing in a blur instead.


Three of Konoha's most important women sat in an office. While official duties were briefly spoken about, this was more a meeting to manage Orochimaru. Koharu and Tsunade both knew the Snake Sannin got into the most trouble, outside of the fallout with Hiruzen, when she was bored. She'd been showing signs of it for several weeks but neither Tsunade nor Koharu knew what spurred the sudden onset. The first sign, she became more interested in experimenting on prisoners just to see what would happen and not sound scientific testing. Secondly, her training had gotten more destructive. And finally,

"I'm so bored. Surely, there is a country in need of overthrowing? I'll go kill the Raikage right now."

"Orochi, you can't kill the Raikage. We're trying to avoid war, not guarantee it," Koharu responded as if talking to a child that wanted dessert first.

"Why not take a mission?" Tsunade questioned.

"They're all too easy."

"Surely there are some prisoners to torture. Ibiki always complains about a backlog," Koharu offered.

"As soon as I show up they give me their entire life story. One gave himself a heart attack. Not a lot of fun if they don't even try to hold out."

"Spend time with Manda?" Tsunade pressed.

"He's… being a pain right now."

"Oh?" the Godaime said. Very few people knew of the real dynamic between Manda and Orochi but he doted on his summoner. It took Katsuyu hours to talk the giant snake down from attempting to murder Hiruzen. Seeing Orochi wasn't going to divulge more she dropped the matter. As Tsunade tries to come up with another example her concentration was broken by three things: first, hearing Shizune squeal from outside her office; secondly, a sudden wind passing through the office: and third, a deep, masculine voice.

"Seems the kid beat me here."

Each of the women looked at the final Sannin as he sat inside the window. Koharu and Tsunade both greeted Jiraiya, Orochimaru simply stared at the door.

"What, Orochi-chan, no acknowledgment of my return?"

"You still look like a fool. There, you have been acknowledged."

"So mean. At least you're happy to have me back, right Hime?"

Tsunade simply gave him the so-so gesture, making the Toad Sage deflate comically. Jiraiya didn't get a chance to go into his full routine as Naruto walked in. Tsunade looked over her surrogate nephew in surprise. She expected him to change seeing it was an altogether different matter. He'd lost the baby fat from his cheeks but kept his otherwise soft features. His hair had gotten significantly longer, looking more a spiky crimson lion's mane that reached his shoulders. Most significantly was his height as he was clearly taller than everyone in the office save Jiraiya.

Greeting everyone with a smile, Naruto gives Tsunade a mocking bow, "Uzumaki Naruto, requesting a return to active service, Hokage-sama."

"Welcome back, Naruto-kun. How was your training trip?"

"Fruitful, for the most part. Jiraiya knows a little something about training a ninja," Jiraiya puffed his chest out, "for a seedy ass pervert."

"You're an ass," Jiraiya retorted after deflating due to his godson's words.

"Ok, that's enough you two," Tsunade interjected but there was no real heat behind her words. "While I am glad to have you back, we need to schedule an assessment for your skill level so I know you haven't wasted three years on a walkabout."

"Oh, that's already taken care of. Unless she's changed her mind, 'ttebayo." Naruto said, smiling the entire time.

"Kukuku, I wouldn't dream of it, Naruto-kun. We just need to select a time and a place." Orochimaru said while in movement, ending right in front of Naruto, staring intently into the Uzumaki's eyes.

"Full moon tonight, seems as fitting a setting as any."

"Oh, a late-night rendezvous on your first day back, how bold," Orochimaru purred and was surprised when Naruto didn't break eye contact or blush. However, she never got to hear his retort as a cough interrupted them.

"Sorry, are we bothering you two?" Tsunade asked, looking incredibly smug.

"Yes," Orochimaru said with zero shame.

"Too damn, bad. Get out of here brat, the grown-ups have to talk."

"Fine, fine," he responded to Tsunade before looking back to Orochimaru, "Training ground 43, midnight?" She nodded and he exited the office.

"You don't seem so bored now," Koharu observed after Naruto left, she now looking quite smug herself.

"I thought we had matters to discuss," Orochimaru replied, not bothering to address Koharu's observation. The informal vibe was now broken and Jiraiya entered the office fully as they were to dive into series matters.

"So, how are things?" Jiraiya asked.

"Tense. There have been some skirmishes between Kumo's and our ANBU but nothing that has bled over into our standard forces. Onoki is still waiting and seeing," Tsunade was explaining before being cut off.

"Expect to hear something from him soon," Jiraiya said. "Naruto and I met both Han and Roshi on our travels and I don't think it was an accident. I'd say, Onoki wanted a quick threat assessment."

"And? I'm assuming you didn't fight either of them so what?"

"Nothing really to report. Kid got along with both of them well enough, more Roshi than Han but there were no hostilities. Some shared stories over being a container but that was all I observed."

"Ok, not a lot to go on but it'll have to do. Kiri is keeping to their Isolationism for now but that could change with the upcoming Chunin exams," the Godaime said.

"I have kept my Oto nins on high alert. It's possible Ay may attempt a proxy war first, in hopes of pulling Konoha in," stated Orochimaru

"Good. There isn't a lot more for us to do but stay sharp and not be baited into any stupid mistakes."

"Easier said than done, Hime."


"He's gotten more troublesome, what a drag," Shikamaru bemoaned to his companion, eliciting a snicker. The two ninja walking casually down the village streets.

"How could you possibly know that you haven't even seen him yet," Temari inquired.

"I just know, I always just know," the Nara grumbled. Yes, he was happy his friend was back and even eager to catch up but Shikamaru was as practical as he was brilliant. Naruto + 3 years of dedicated training * puberty = troublesome². There was simply no way around it.

"Hm, I suppose. It'll probably be good, you've been getting a little lazy lately," Temari said with a smirk.

"Helping with the Chunin Exams is incredibly boring, I am not meant to be an administrator."

"Then why do it?"

Shikamaru shot Temari a look, not enjoying her knowing smile. She just couldn't leave the unsaid unsaid, could she? Troublesome woman. "Best way to spend time with you, which you know," Shikamaru forced out, his body slumping as he did.

"Aww, Shika is so cute when he admits he likes Temari-chan!"

"Kami, kill me now," he grumbled, causing Temari to laugh. The sound was so melodious that Shikamaru couldn't fight off the smile forming on his lips.

"So, what's the plan now that he's back?"

"I doubt I'll be moved from Ino and Choji just yet." It was not ideal, the circumstances that led to the formation of the next InoShikaCho but it was necessary. Choji and Ino were floundering, Shikamaru couldn't leave them like that. Every clan heir was going to need to be at their best if war broke out. Without the ability to rely on Kurenai-sensei's deviousness, Shino's ruthless efficiency or Naruto's power, Shikamaru grew. His planning became faster, more involved and paradoxically more flexible. He no longer warmed up in combat, always ready to unleash himself. He just wished-

"Hey, no sulking," Temari said, interrupting his thoughts.

"Sorry, sorry. Anyway, I don't know what Shino will do. I guess it'll all be sorted when we meet at Kurenai-sensei's house."

"When do you need to arrive?" Temari questioned.

"In a bit but I've still got a little time,"

"Good, because you're treating me to lunch, Shadow Boy," Temari exclaimed while grabbing Shikamaru by the wrist and dragging him along.

"Trou-"

"Finish that and no special Temari time for a month," Temari threatened. Shikamaru, wisely, shut up. Because he was both practical and brilliant.


"Shino, come back to bed," the pink haired Uzumaki commanded, wrapped in her dark blue bed sheet. A small smile graced the Aburame heir's lips. Some may think Tayuya and he were a mismatched pair but that was superficial. While she was passionate and he reserved, she was not irrational nor illogical. Her hard life had made her cutting but Shino appreciated that bluntness, that honesty. It was refreshing, that she was more animated than any other girl he knew simply added to the attraction.

Shino broke from his reverie, knowing she was expecting a response. Shino would love nothing more than to return but he couldn't, not now anyway.

"I am sorry, Tayuya, but I cannot. As you know, Naruto's return is today and we are to meet at Kurenai-sensei's."

"I'm sure you have time. Besides, Stump can wait."

"Friends should not make each other wait, Tayuya."

"And boyfriends shouldn't deprive their girlfriends, Shino. It's been a month and it was two months before that," she said and Shino could hear the edge in her voice. She was nearing the limits of her patience, which weren't in excess to begin with. He wouldn't complain though, he knew that about her. She was fiery and passionate. But also accepting, of him, his manner and his choices.

Shortly, after the formation of the new InoShikaCho, Shino joined the Hunter Ninja Corps. The training was grueling, the assignments even more so. He'd improved immensely because of it, becoming a better tracker, fighter, and assassin. Like Shikamaru, Shino knew he'd grown reliant on his teammates and Sensei. They were a well-balanced team, as well-balanced as any genin team with Naruto would be but that very balance posed its own limitations.

His current position corrected that, hunter ninja often working alone unless the threat is too great. Shino didn't mind the solitude or the harsh routine, but he did miss his team and Tayuya. She was right, he could be gone for a day or several months and rarely knew which it would be. He looked at the clock on the chest of drawers. He had more time, and if he were a little late he knew his team would forgive him. Friends forgive each other. Shino slipped back into bed, being greeted with a kiss. It was confirmation he'd made the right choice.

"Next time, just get back in the fucking bed, asshole," Tayuya said, though there was no real anger behind her words.

"Hai, hai," Shino agreed, smiling internally all the while.


"BOSS!" the young Sarutobi exclaimed, making a mad dash toward the target of those words. The sea of people parted, allowing Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon to move quickly to their older brother figure. Naruto turned when he heard the shout, smiling at the upcoming trio, each proudly displaying their headbands. Naruto didn't pay attention to it, but several onlookers had fond smiles themselves watching the Honorable Grandson make his way to the once pariah.

"Boss, you're back!" Konohamaru said, excitement not having diminished in the least

"Hey, you guys have gotten big," Naruto said good-naturedly.

"Us? Boss, you're so tall now," Udon remarked as the other two genin nodded in agreement.

"Yea, finally hit a growth spurt or two. How's ninja life treating you?"

"You should have warned us about D-ranks, Boss," Konohamaru pouted.

"But where's the fun in that? Besides, if you do them well you don't have to do them long. Besides, I'm sure Ebisu-san is training you well, right?"

"Hai," Moegi responded, "thanks to you we don't have to do a lot of the basics like other teams."

"Yep, and now that you're back we can get some kickass ninjutsu!" Konohamaru added, pumping his fist in the air. Naruto laughed.

"We'll see, I'll have to talk to Ebisu-san to make sure I'm not throwing off his training plan."

"So, Boss," Konomaharu started, his excitement diminishing enough to realize Naruto was and had been holding flowers the entire time they've been speaking, "who are the flowers for, your girlfriend?" All three genin were dismayed when they saw the sad smile form on Naruto's face.

"No, Konohamaru, this is for an old friend I haven't seen in a while. I was just on my way there so I'll catch up with you guys later, ok?"

"Alright, Boss," Udon agreed and watched as Naruto disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

"Kono, you idiot," Moegi stated.

"Sorry, I wasn't thinking. Do you think he's mad?"

"I doubt it. Naruto-nii knows you're kinda dumb," Udon observed, plainly. This caused a tic mark to form on Konohamaru's forehead.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That you can be dense, Monkey Boy," Moegi backed Udon up.

"I get no respect, I tells ya. No respect at all," Konohamaru said while under a depression cloud.

As Konohamaru sulked Naruto arrived at his destination. It'd been years since he'd been here but the place hadn't changed. Eerily quiet, competing scents of various flowers. The environment felt heavy as if the decades of mourners' collective sorrow coalesced and surrounded everything, never leaving. He kept a steady gate as he made his way to his intended location. It hadn't taken long. While not ornate, the gravestone was adorned with various flowers and trinkets. Naruto added his own, an arrangement of white lilies, pink carnations, and blue hydrangea.

"Hinata Hyuuga; Sister, Daughter, Ninja," Naruto read the gravestone aloud. "We hadn't known each other long… I regret that because even if it were short I considered you a true friend. I wish I could have told you that it didn't matter, I didn't hold your observing me against you. You hadn't hurt anyone and maybe those days you silently supported me gave me the strength to continue when I wanted to give up and give in.

There are so many things I want to tell you but it seems hollow now. I hope you're experiencing the freedom you desired and are at peace. I don't know what I can do but I'll try to look out for Hanabi, however with you as a role model I doubt she'll need it. Shikamaru is taking care of your team but I'll make sure he doesn't get lazy, the bastard. And I won't even punch your dad out, which I had been planning on doing for an unrelated matter. So, don't worry; everyone will be ok. Goodbye, Hinata."


He bowed before the man, his primary tormentor; someone he'd been quickly coming to despise as much as he had Danzo and Sasori. Kabuto wondered if one of the reasons the Sandaime allowed Danzo so much freedom was that the two were more alike than they wanted to admit, Danzo acting as the Sandaime's id; indulging in the darkness the Fire Shadow could not be linked to but was no less capable of being immersed if not for his position.

Kabuto hated this study, the furniture, bookshelves, and moldings all made from the trees grown by Hashirama-sama. The room smelled of pipe smoke, parchment, and ink. Even removed from power, the man sat behind his desk as if he were above all, still the God of Shinobi. It burned Kabuto, the insulting nature of his situation. That he was forced to betray his Mistress when he only wanted to protect her from the Uzumaki's influence, to get back to their work. Instead, he had to kneel before this fossil, inhale his second-hand smoke and obey his orders.

"It has been three years, Kabuto. Three years and you've given me nothing actionable, nothing of value on Orochimaru's plans. Do you think my patience infinite, Kabuto-kun?"

"No, Sandaime-sama. I have tried but Orochimaru-sama is distrusting by her very nature. If I pushed too far she would get suspicious and I would be of no use to you."

"Of what use are you to me now?"

"I told you of her secret room."

"That you have no access to and no way of getting in," Hiruzen countered, smoke billowing from the latest drag of his pipe.

"I am working on that," Kabuto said in his defense.

"Ah, yes, young Karin-chan. Had Orochimaru not taught you any seduction techniques? Surely, it should not take this long to bring her to your side or dupe her outright."

"Karin is a gifted sensor and can detect insincerity, I have to proceed carefully."

"The time for being careful has elapsed. I wanted Orochimaru dealt with before Naruto-kun returned. He has done so and I have no doubt she will not waste a moment ensnaring him."

Kabuto bristled at the Sandaime's words, not liking the characterization of his Mistress. It was this dissatisfaction that loosened his tongue. "If you are so concerned about Naruto's virtue, maybe Hokage-sama should have seen to his upbringing more than simply leaving him to his own devices. Instead of being a cowa-," he did not get to finish his statement as a powerful hand was now around his throat, Kabuto lifted off the ground.

"Do you forget who I am, boy? I have sent more people to the Pure Land than you've met. You think your Mistress is powerful? Who do you think made her that way? Never dare speak about things you do not know in my presence," the Sandaime said before releasing the boy and dismissing him. Kabuto left, rubbing his sore neck not chancing the repercussions should he glare at the old man.

When alone, Hiruzen sagged his shoulders and sighed. He did not like the tactics he was using against the young medic. He did not like using people as pawns, sacrificial or otherwise. But, he reasoned, this was for Naruto-kun. He had to pressure Kabuto enough to get sloppy and tip his hand. In a blind rage, Orochimaru would kill him and he'd finally have something on her as Kabuto was, technically, a shinobi in good standing.

Tsunade would not be able to ignore the violation, he'd do anything within his influence to make sure she couldn't sweep it under the rug. Orochimaru would be stripped of her status and either imprisoned or banished. With a clan, ties to the current Hokage and his team Naruto-kun wouldn't leave. Hiruzen truly believed that. Then, Hiruzen could mend the severely damaged bridge between his surrogate grandson and him. He just needed time.


Koharu and Orochimaru had departed after the debrief and strategy session, only Tsunade and Jiraiya remained. Jiraiya was not used to those hazel eyes looking at him in concern and he wondered what could be on his former teammate's mind.

"I noticed neither Naruto nor you provided much in the way of details about the training trip."

"He didn't want to reveal too much in front of Orochi and I honestly didn't think you'd believe me if I told you." That was not a suspected response.

"Why wouldn't I believe you?"

"Because I've seen him do things, repeatedly, and still have difficulty believing them."

"Fine, I'll just have to watch his and Orochi's fight to see what she drags out of him. Beyond his skills, are you two alright?"

"We're fine," Jiraiya replied but he could see the disbelief in Tsunade's eyes. "Truly, we are in a really good place."

"And how did that happen? Jiraiya, if I beat you within an inch of your life then Naruto had you at a half an inch. Mount Myoboku might be beautiful but it wasn't worth the trip to see you clinging to life. You never did tell me what caused it."

"The gap between my words and my actions caught up to me in the form of a pissed off Uzumaki."

"Do better, Jiraiya," Tsunade said, her tolerance with Jiraiya's indirectness running out.

"You know what happened in the Land of Iron. Mifune suspected something, he just didn't suspect who wound up being the ringleader in the coup. Naruto… he saw himself in the man, they had gotten close so of course it wasn't easy for Naruto to kill him," Jiraiya said.

"But he did, how does that end up with you two beating the shit out of each other?"

"The man's methods led something to be desired but he wasn't necessarily wrong. Naruto felt he may have protected an oppressive government for the chance we'd have a future ally."

"I could see how he'd find it upsetting, Jiraiya, but not enough to attack you."

"I told him about the prophecy and that I thought he'd be the one to fulfill it. I shared a lot of my philosophies with him, some he'd entertain and some he'd reject. But seeing how I put him on the path to kill a man that just wanted to change things for the better… the hypocrisy of it all made him snap. He couldn't accept all my preaching about peace when I would put Konoha's interests over others."

"Why would you do that, Jiraiya? Why burden him with that?" asked, more in confusion than anything.

"I believed it to be true, for one. Secondly, he needed direction. Naruto didn't need my help to grow stronger, he'd do that whether I was there or not. But strength isn't everything. He was all science and no philosophy. He doesn't believe in the Will of Fire because of Sensei. Someone had to see to his morals, to put something on his mind beyond jutsu and war. I was tasked with helping him become a man his parents could be proud of."

"Naruto is a good kid, Jiraiya."

"He was also an angry kid. Angry and resentful. He may not dwell on it but it is never far from his mind how they," Jiraiya points out the window, "treated him. I just wanted to give him something larger to shoot for, something more. Maybe it could have helped him come to terms with everything. But with the coup, it just looked like I didn't really believe what I was preaching. I was just like Sensei, trying to manipulate him to my own ends. He snapped."

"So, what changed?"

"While I was healing he spent time with the Panthers. I don't know what happened, he would never tell me but he just seemed so much lighter once we reunited. We talked, really talked, for hours. And over the following days, we just kept talking. And now, we're at a really good place."

"As long as I don't have to worry about you two getting into a brawl in the streets that'll have to do."

"I don't think you have anything to worry about, Hime."


"Hi, Sensei," Naruto said standing in the doorway of Kurenai's modest but cozy home. The Genjutsu Mistress, clearly showing the sixth month into her pregnancy, hugged her student. Naruto, gently, hugged her back, not wanting to harm the baby. Kurenai rolled her eyes guessing about the boy's unnecessary gentleness. He then offered her two plushies, one panther and the other a purple toad.

"I didn't know if it was too early for stuff like this, 'ttebayo," he said bashfully. Naruto truly felt out of his depths, he'd never been around a single pregnant woman before. He was just happy he didn't think she was fat.

Kurenai escorted him to her living room where he sat on the maroon colored couch, waddling just a little. It was hard to believe how much Naruto had changed. She'd seen her other two students mature in real time but to see it all at once was a bit shocking. Kurenai sat down, feet tucked under her, mindlessly rubbing her belly, red eyes focused on her student.

"How was your trip, Naruto-kun?"

"Really good but I'm glad to be back."

"Oh, really?" she said with genuine surprise but couldn't help matching the warm smile Naruto broke into.

"Yea, I missed you guys, 'ttebayo. Plus there's Tayuya and Karin, Tsunade-obachan and Shizune-neechan."

"Hmm, seems there's a name missing," Kurenai said knowingly.

"I'm sorry, Sensei, I don't know what you mean," Naruto said, feigning ignorance.

"Ok, I won't push but be careful," Kurenai advised.

"I'm the most careful person you know, Sensei."

"Land of Vegetables," was her response. She laughed seeing cross his arms and huff.

"That's revisionist history, 'ttebayo." Kurenai continued to laugh but tapered off when she heard the door open.

"Kurenai, I'm home and brought a couple of stragglers with me," Asuma announced. He soon walked in with Shikamaru and Shino, each taking seats in the empty matching chairs.

"You look like you've gotten more troublesome," the Nara greeted.

"You look like you've gotten lazy again, I'm sure Mageela-chan would love to help with that," Naruto responded with a smile. Shikamaru simply grinned.

"Welcome back, Naruto."

"Thank you, Shino. How have things been with you guys?" Naruto asked and was regaled with their experiences, Kurenai filling in her time as well.

"Naruto, I have not been requested to resign as a Hunter-Nin and it appears, as for now, Team Kurenai is on hold; what will you be doing?"

"Oh, I've been assigned to act as an Elite Tutor. I used to think Ebisu was just blowing smoke out his-"

"Language, Naruto-kun," Kurenai warned.

"Pipe but that's apparently a thing. Not one I want, however. I am not a house cat."

"You would complain about a good thing. You teach a little and then watch the clouds, sounds like the life."

"Says you; both of you could probably be Jounin if you tested for it."

"Why would I want that?" Shikamaru asked, making Naruto and Kurenai form a sweatdrop.

"I am satisfied with my current position, an increase in rank wouldn't affect much."

"Well, enough of that. We have to talk about something serious," Naruto interjected, "I call dibs on being the fun Uncle!."

"Troublesome, you can't call dibs on being the fun Uncle," Shikamaru said, as if it were obvious.

"Agreed. Your being the "fun one" is as much contingent on Kurenai-sensei's progeny as it is on your individual qualities. Besides, as I will obviously be the favorite I will be the de facto fun Uncle."

"Hogwash! I'm done losing to you, Aburame."

"Why are you both acting like this is a two-man race. I'm just as likely to be the fun Uncle as either of you," Shikamaru said and then grew annoyed with the disbelieving stares he was receiving. "I'm fun."

"You'd be the life of the party at a retirement community, why? You are a curmudgeon."

"He's right, Shika. You got that Old Man energy that doesn't play with kids. I, however, am a walking library of cool ninjutsu. Every kid loves ninjutsu."

"You will not teach my daughter ninjutsu prematurely just to be her favorite, Naruto," Kurenai ordered, finally chiming in.

"I've got low-level stuff, Sensei."

"Yes, I've seen the "low-level stuff" you left Konohamaru and his friends. A twenty-foot spiked wall is not D-rank ninjutsu, Naruto."

"But it was one of the first ones I created and it's really easy while using very little chakra."

"See, this is why I will win," Shino observed, smugly.

"Oh, I have an ace up my sleeve, just you wait," Naruto said in all confidence. Kurenai smiled as the boys continued to bicker, her team and family back together again.


Neither combatant could know how closely their actions mirrored each other. One, the infamous Snake Sannin, taking the utmost care while getting ready. A black and red battle kimono, stopping at above her knees covering her mesh armor, fitted snuggly at her breasts. A purple obi tied around her waist, matching her finger and toenail polish. A slit on either side, revealing the mesh coverings on her legs. She slipped on her heeled shinobi sandals. Her hair was pulled back into a bun, two senbon keeping it in place. The most notorious woman in the Elemental Nations gave herself a once over and smiled seductively, confident she'd be victorious before the night was over.

Over at the Uzumaki compound, the current head prepared himself. A matching set of midnight blue pants and shirt, both with mesh lining embraced his frame. The shirt's sleeves stopped just below the elbow, leaving his two summoning tattoos visible. Over his shirt, a red, ANBU style chest armor with a blue Uzumaki swirl in the back. A red and black holster was strapped to his right leg, a large pouch on his back, just below his armor. His katana also strapped to his back. He smiled as he exited his room knowing he'd be sure to impress his former teacher.

Both timed their arrivals perfectly so they'd show up at midnight exactly. The training ground was bathed in moonlight, the wooded areas surrounded it offering a perfect contrast of darkness to light. No words were spoken as each eyed the other intently, closing the distance. Orochimaru took the initiative, striking with a straight right when Naruto was in range. The Uzumaki sidestepped the blow and caught it with his outside hand, unleashing a back fist in retaliation. There was a brief pause as blue met yellow.

And then duo exploded into action. Orochimaru broke Naruto's hold on her arm while twisting Naruto's into an arm lock. The Uzumaki recognized this and dropped lower, flipping Orochimaru over his shoulders. Naruto gave himself some distance and got into his stance. When Orochimaru approached again, he performed a double roundhouse, both kicks blocked but he expected it. The two kicks were feints for a transition into a standing sidekick, which hit true at Orochimaru's stomach. Naruto bounced on his heels and then settled into his stance. Orochimaru dusted off her kimono and did the same. After a brief lull, the two blurred toward each other again.

What followed as an intense exchange of fist and feet. Naruto's style, utilizing multilevel kicks, feints and powerful punches going against Orochimaru's inhuman flexibility and surreal reaction time. Naruto had the distinct impressive his moves were being read almost perfectly, he simply wasn't being punished for it because he had a speed advantage but landing a clean blow was proving incredibly difficult.

Orochimaru was finding the taijutsu exchange difficult herself. While Naruto didn't use Jiraiya's style, it was clear her former teammate taught Naruto how to outmuscle and impose himself on physically weaker opponents. It gave her a slight thrill to know Naruto-kun was physically stronger than her and made her want to beat him down all the more. Narrowly avoiding to short uppercuts, Orochimaru counters with a two-punch combination that lands cleanly to Naruto's stomach. She delights in his grunt of pain. Her follow up middle kick his absorbed by Naruto's forearms, the Uzumaki using the force to transition into a sway. Orochimaru predicts what's coming and does a swift replacement. The counter left Naruto unleashed shatters the log replacing Orochimaru.

"Kukuku, if I didn't know any better I'd think you were trying to hurt me, Naruto-kun," a disembodied voice says, sounding as if it is coming from all around.

"Here I thought you were the strongest of the Sannin. I can go half speed if you want, Shishou," Naruto mocked before tilting his head to the side, just avoiding the extended blade of the Kusanagi. Naruto spins, simultaneously drawing his sword and bringing performing a downward slash, clanging against the legendary sword, Orochimaru supporting it with two hands, one on the handle the other at the tip of the blade.

"I am the strongest Sannin but I am not your shishou anymore," the snake summoner said before tilting her blade down, unbalancing Naruto. Smoothly transition into a reverse grip, Orochimaru attempts to cut her former student while he is out of position but he meets her attempt with an upward slash, intercepting the blade and then retreating back. Instantly, Orochimaru's arm feels wrong. She looks at it and sees it is encased in ice. Flaring her chakra shatters the ice.

"You can flash freeze the air around me just by channeling hyoton chakra into your sword?"

"No, I chose to only flash freeze the air around you because I didn't want you to lose an arm. Impressed?" he asks, cheekily.

"Mildly," she responds and then goes on the offensive once more. Like with their taijutsu exchanges, neither manages to get the better of the other, the clashes looking more akin to a dance than a fight.

Naruto couldn't make sense of it. He'd been utilizing a subtle genjutsu during the exchanges to make Orochimaru miscalculate distance but she seemed to tear through it with no effort. She was masterful with her sword, only one other person comparable to her skill but he wasn't being overwhelmed, not in the slightest. He knew he could simply utilize his Swift Release to increase his advantage but this way was more fun. He swung his sword, causing a pressure wave to release from the ground.

Taking advantage of the distance he performed his version of Asuma's Hien, what he called his Songbird Blades. Making several swings of his sword, he heard the faint ringing as the supersonic blades tore through the air. And he watched as Orochimaru danced around his attacks as if he'd announced where'd they be exactly, the blades making short work of the trees behind her. He knew something wasn't right. This fight felt like one he'd had previously but not with Orochimaru. She was good, unarguably one of the best but something was off. He didn't have more time to consider, Orochimaru's renewed assault demanding his attention.

Her heart rate was elevated, not from exertion but excitement. She could barely contain her glee. This is why she forced herself to wait, why she didn't abduct Naruto from under Jiraiya's nose. Things had felt so dull, while there was a certain pride in training Anko again it just wasn't the same. Her first student didn't challenge her, didn't push her as he did. Even now she could tell he was holding back and she wasn't even offended. Winning wasn't the point.

There had been a part of her that was worried he wouldn't progress enough to really keep up with her developments but that had been for not. She wondered if he'd be able to piece together why his genjutsu wasn't working, why she could read his movements well enough to counter. Her Sharingan, hid under a special contact lens, spun wildly as if to match her burgeoning ecstasy. She needed to see more, to push him harder. To force out every secret hidden behind those blue eyes that shone with mirth.

Her attacks ramping up forced Naruto to go on the defensive, decidedly not his preferred style. But it was necessary, slashes and stabs coming from unique angles, Orochimaru constantly changing levels and maintaining no set pattern. He was caught off guard when her tongue, elongated, wrapped around one of his wrists, jerking it from his sword while the other was forced to release his sword by her jian. Pleased she was able to disarm him, the Snake Sannin was prepared to take full advantage of her new opening, except the Naruto still restrained by her tongue dissolved right before her eyes.

'Kai,' she thought immediately while performing the dispel technique and then immediately ducked under the kick aiming at her temple. She then rolled from the axe kick, coming from a second Naruto, transitioning into a cartwheel kick to back up a third.

"Clones already, Naruto-kun?" she asked, standing upright as the three Narutos surrounded her.

"Thought I'd spice things up a bit," one Naruto said.

"Bored already? I'm hurt," Orochimaru mocked. She then had to fend off a double front kick from one Naruto, then dispelling him with a quick stab. The others decided to attack in tandem, one going high with a flying roundhouse, the other low with a leg sweep. Orochimaru became parallel with the ground, managing to avoid both attacks. Spinning out of her evasive maneuver she dispelled the clone above and below her with a circular slash of her sword. As she landed she realized two things; firstly, that was entirely too easy. Secondly, she couldn't sense the real Naruto anywhere.

'Earth Style: Dragon's Maw' the red-haired Uzumaki thought as he willed an earthen dragon's mouth to emerge underneath Orochimaru, taking her by surprise. The mouth snapped, mightily but all that was heard was the sound of wood being snapped.

The Snake Sannin continued to scan her surroundings, now taking refuge in the trees. Her hearing alerted her to an oncoming threat and through instinct alone she cut the single shuriken aimed at her back. She simple dodged the next volley. Or so she thought as the bladed stars did sink into tree bark like she predicted but followed her, while gaining speed. More shuriken were added to the pursuit, Orochimaru darting through the trees. She realized this was a Jiton technique, one used by Toroi of Kumo.

The infamous woman smiled as she made her way back to the clearing, figuring it was time she showed off as well. Upon a rival, she sheathed the Kusanagi and waited for the projectiles to catch up. Unbeknownst to her, Naruto watched while cloaked in a version of Tobirama Senju's Bringer of Darkness Jutsu. He had a lot of pieces that were not making a clear picture. His former teacher would rip through his ocular genjutsu but not the one cast by physical touch nor one meant to block all senses. That she could get out of his genjutsu wasn't shocking, but the speed in which she did one and not the other perplexed him. He was further confused when she left the trees to return out in the open. As he watched his eyes widened in surprise and glee. He didn't care that his attack had been negated, it was too cool to worry about that. He dropped the genjutsu and appeared in the clearing.

"You did it!" he exclaimed, causing Orochimaru to smirk.

Naruto had been right, the sub-elements were available to people without the bloodlines. But possible does not mean easy. Orochimaru had managed only one, Jiton and it was because Wind and Earth were the elements she had the most experience with. Not even her Sharingan really helped her, it seeing the sub-elements as an unreadable code of chakra it can't make sense of. But all those limitations aside, she reveled in the sense of pride she felt at impressing him.

"The Sandaime Kazekage's Iron Sand Gathering Assault, she said as the iron walls returned to sandy particles. Creating her own magnetic field disrupted Naruto's, the iron barriers she created simply intercepting the shuriken that continued to move through inertia.

"That's awesome but… um, you're surrounded by metal," Naruto said as speedily performed a series of hand signs, 'Lightning Style: Chained Lightning Jutsu," Naruto thought as the red lightning surged to every piece of metal in its path. Finely honed senses caused him to sway back before he was fully cognizant dodging the uppercut from a previously subterranean Orochimaru. Undaunted, she continues with a high kick that Naruto blocks with his arm. The all too confident smile suggested he'd missed something, the chakra flare and sound of upcoming blitz led him to conclude this was a clone of some kind.

Orochimaru's Iron Sand Drizzle tore towards Naruto and the Snake Sannin assumed he wouldn't have enough time to dodge the attack. When the jutsu made it to Naruto's location she saw her mud clone dissolve but the watched as her iron sand pellets would ping and then fall down. She discontinued the jutsu after the initial wave to see Naruto now covered a blackish metallic coat that was receding from his limbs to his core.

"Steel Release: Impervious Armor," Naruto said before going through another series of hand signs, pausing for a split second before going through a series of more. Orochimaru was caught flat-footed, having never heard of Steel Release before and her lapse cost her, steel chains emerged from the ground, binding her feet together and her hands above her head. She was prepared to simply break the constructs until she felt much of her energy leave her, she looked up to see seals migrating from the chain to her.

"Chakra suppression seals?" she asked. And Naruto nodded, wiping the sweat from his brow.

"I can't form chains like my mom so this was the next best option," he said.

"Then you can use Sensei's combination technique?"

"I've been able to do that since I was eleven," Naruto said nonchalantly.

"You've never displayed such an ability before," Orochimaru pointed out and watched as the Uzumaki shrugged.

"I didn't want the Old Man to think I was trying to be him; besides, I already had a sub-element I was training. I didn't need his stop-gap technique," Naruto breathed in deeply before continuing, "though using it on an element I haven't master does make things more difficult." Naruto said as he took a moment to really look at the result of his jutsu. He never really considered himself kinky but seeing Orochimaru tied up and at his mercy was incredibly alluring to the young man.

As if reading his mind, Orochimaru asked, "See something you like?" while smiling. Naruto reflexively rubbed the back of his head, trying not to blush at being caught perving.

"You know, I'll release you if you concede," Naruto observed, trying to cover.

"Oh please, Naruto-sama, free Orochi-chan. I'd be ever so grateful," the Sannin said in a sultry voice, struggling against the chains just enough to give certain body parts a subtle jiggle.

'A cold show is in my immediate future,' Naruto lamented while trying to avoid doing anything lame. When Orochimaru said Naruto wasn't going to visibly react she decided to stop the act but smiled nonetheless.

"It's your win, this time," she said and instantly felt the chains leave her and her chakra flow return to normal. She stumbled a bit but found herself supported by Naruto's frame. She looked up to see him staring down at her, a thousand-watt grin on his face.

"I won't let it go to my head," he replied.

Orochimaru giggled a little before responding, "Good because if you hold back again I won't go easy on you."

"You could just ask," Naruto pointed out.

"Where is the fun in that, Naruto-kun?" she asked

"I wouldn't have to avoid that sharp ass sword of yours," was his reply.

"But that is part of the fun, for me!"

"And my preferences?"

"Don't matter in the slightest. Privilege of being the strongest of the Sannin," Orochimaru quipped. Naruto simply chuckled and Orochimaru could feel it reverberate through his chest. "But since this is your victory, I believe you are allowed to name your prize."

"So I am," Naruto said, a mischievous look in his eyes. "Well, I have had a long while to think about this,"

"Carefully weighed your options, I hope," Orochimaru interjected.

"Oh, I've sought the counsel of wise men and everything. And I have decided I want ice cream."

"I'm sorry, what?" Orochimaru asked in confusion as he could not have possibly said-

"Ice cream. There's an ice cream shop in the village that I like and I want you to go with me."

"Ice cream?"

"Yuup. They have a Rocky Road I think you'll enjoy. So I will see you tomorrow," Naruto said before disappearing from view.

'Did he really say ice cream?' Orochimaru asked in disbelief before the recorded images of her Sharingan caught up to her, surprising her slightly.

Naruto appeared in his bedroom and started to undress. He was relieved part one of his plan worked. He'd won the bet and managed to not do anything lame or blush like he used to. He'd have to thank Jiraiya for help on that except the man wouldn't approve of how those lessons are being utilized. The Uzumaki walked into the attached bathroom, lights triggered by his entrance. He took a relaxing shower and then changed into some plain, black boxers. He was ready to call it a night, the various reunions and spar having drained him mentally. Naruto was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, a small smile gracing his lips.


Naruto's senses flared and he was instantly awake, though his body language nor his breathing changed. Someone was in his room. Someone had gotten through his security seals and was in his room. It was impressive, Naruto had to admit. And whoever managed it, Naruto hoped they could take those bragging rights with them to the other side. It was difficult but he remained patient. The person was doing well to hide their presence and Naruto wanted to get a sense of what they planned.

He heard what sounded like footsteps and the rustling of clothes as if they were being removed. By the time he felt the weight on his bed, he still hadn't moved but it was shock that gripped him. A familiar scent, of wild flowers and a hint of antiseptic. He couldn't put together why Orochimaru was in his bedroom. When the Sannin slid into his bed, under the covers he almost shut down.

'Be cool, Naruto' the Uzumaki told himself. 'She's probably just here to mess- oh,' he thought internally when she finally reached him, the sensations on his back revealing something. 'Ok, so she's topless,' he thought as he felt her bare breasts, while her arms snaked around his front, Orochimaru gently making circles on his abs with her fingertips.

"Kukuku, I know you're awake, Naruto-kun,"

"Uh, hey?" he responded weakly. 'So much for not doing anything lame!' he lamented.

"I had some time to think about your request. It confused me initially,"

"How so?" Naruto asked.

"It was timid and you are not known for timidity," Orochimaru said, continuing her ministrations. "So, why ask for something I would have agreed to anyway? Seems like a waste. Unless," she paused.

"Unless?" Naruto repeated.

"It was part of a larger plan and you were conspiring for some end I didn't know about."

"Me?"

"You."

"Conspire against you?"

"That's what I'm thinking."

"Why, I would Ieeeh…" Naruto's replied was cut off as he felt a pleasing cool hand slide into his boxers.

"Naruto-kun, you can admit it now and have an incredibly satisfying night or deny it and have an incredibly frustrating one. Choose wisely," she whispered into his ear. The choice was obvious.

"Let's say I did have a plan-"

"To seduce me?" Orochimaru asked in amusement.

"More woo than seduction," Naruto responded.

"Woo?" She asked and Naruto could hear the humor in her voice but he was paying greater attention to what her hands were doing, one in particular.

"I regretted it the moment I said it, 'ttebayo."

"Don't, kukuku, it's sweet. I've done something similar. The hardest part," she paused when Naruto let out a groan, "was the waiting. I hate waiting. I've only ever been as patient as I absolutely needed to be and for this, I had to wait years."

Orochimaru removed her hand from Naruto's boxers, the Uzumaki promptly missing the contact. He turned toward her, and as soon as he was facing her he found himself pulled into a kiss. All thought left as his body responded on instinct, one arm around her waist pull her closer while his other hand cupped her cheek, stroking it gently. In his haze, he didn't remember when it happened but soon their tongues were meeting, gentle flicks giving way to something deeper. Naruto felt her hands running through his hair, adding to the series of pleasing sensations he was already experiencing.

At some point they broke the kiss, panting slightly, her warm breath tickling his ear. He'd returned to his senses long enough to hear her declaration, whispered but containing more steel than any shouted words ever have.

"I'm done waiting," was all she said before she claimed his lips again. But as the lovers explored each other's bodies, the mutual pleasuring containing a multitude of unspoken promises the world continued to spin. Enemies from within and without planned and plotted for their mutual and individual downfalls. Storm clouds gathered, portending of an easterly wind, embers still sparked in the shadows, and a divine will continued to exert its influence. But for all those that scheme against them, are any prepared for the consequence of trying to separate a snake from her obsession?


Long time no update, huh? I almost called this chapter Jeremy Bearimy because it legitimately almost broke me. But I got it done so yay? Maybe, I don't know. It's here and we're in part two. Now, I'll give you fair warning so no one brings this up, Naruto is OP AS FUCK! I've said it so if you say it then you're just lame.

Oh and just to give you a peek inside my mind, I know a few people have speculated Anko is Orochi's daughter. She is not. That child is dead. However, people guessing that did give me an idea. See, there is this character I kinda forgot about… Kinoe/Yamato/Tenzo. Like, totally blanked on him in this story. A part of me wanted to make him Orochi's child and explain that he survived the DNA implementation because of being a child of a Sannin and the God of shinobi. But that's kinda trolly bullshit so I didn't do it. Restraint is sometimes a good thing.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and if not, I'll try to do better next time.