Hello again! I'm sorry for the lack of update last wek, but I went with my friends to the mountains some days! I didn't have much time or motivation. However, here you have the next chapter!
Like always, thank you so much for your support! It really means a lot :)
The last place she had expected to find him at was the cemetery.
She had decided to pay a visit to a nonexistent official grave. She had woken up pretty early, when the rays of the sun barely shone through the grey menacing clouds partially covering the sky. Everyone else was sleeping or preparing to do so in the Red District. What was the point of living during the day if there were no customers to take care of? Kagura had adjusted to the sleeping schedule of the courtesans long time ago, even though she was not required to do so. However, if she wanted to help in non sexual matters, everyone worked during the night time anyways. It was easier for her and for the rest of the employees. She could always pretend to be a geisha or she could help the Hyakka capturing troublemakers, which was her favourite occupation lately.
That night had been eventless, so she concluded she might as well use her remaining forces to visit her surrogate father. She left the building wearing her usual white qipao, the one she had adapted from Gin's kimonos, and her brown coat. It was autumn, and the morning air had got cold and refreshing.
Had it been any other day, she would have enjoyed the fall sun, but it smelled like rain and the Yato had to take her purple umbrella with her. The clouds above only confirmed her suspicions. Not long after she had set foot on the Kabuki District, Sadaharu stopped to look skywards, a raindrop falling on his snout. He sneezed and run to nuzzle his head against his owner's side. Kagura smiled and opened her parasol, shielding herself from the rain. It didn't take long before it was pouring down.
Not minding the mud staining her black boots, she continued her way towards the graveyard, her thoughts drifting away. It wasn't like Gintoki had a proper grave in the first place. He had disappeared, after all. His body had not been found, and they couldn't bury something that wasn't there. It had been devastating. She knew the feeling of losing someone. She had lost her mother for good, but she had had a place to bury her in her home planet. She was no longer able to visit it, but her heart ached less when she thought that she was there, at least. Waiting for her. She would come back someday, to bid farewell properly. But with Gin it had been different. Where was she supposed to go to cry? Was he really dead? The Yorozuya didn't seem right. It just made her think that he might come back, and it was painful visiting the place. They had been left with nothing. In the end, Shinpachi and she had decided to create a fake grave. It was in a corner of the cemetery, it didn't bother anyone and it gave them some kind of consolation.
When she reached the steps leading to the gate, she stopped to take calming breaths. She ended up anxious whenever she visited. After a few moments, she resumed her walking, headed for the dreaded place. She was about a hundred meters away when she noticed a figure to her right.
'Who the hell comes to a place like this with the weather like this?' It's not like she had another option, she only left Yoshiwara when the work allowed her and she only visited when her spirits were high. Kind of. But it was so early and cold and the stupid rain was drenching whoever was there!
'Doesn't he have an umbrella or something?'
She supposed it was a man for the clothing. Grey hakama and black uwagi. Some kind of black jacket with a hood ended the outfit. He was crouched a few hundred meters away in front of a grave. She was about to let him be when she spotted sandy hair. Her heart skipped a beat and she drew closer, the rain still obstructing her line of vision. When she approached him enough, however, she recognised the signature ponytail, partially covered by the hood.
Clutching the handle of her umbrella, she walked until she was about three graves away from him. Sadaharu had stayed behind, sitting and waiting patiently for her. Okita hadn't noticed her presence, or at least that's what it seemed like. You never knew with him.
She realised then that she didn't know what to do. She had come nearer without thinking, and she was at a loss. Questions piled up in her mind.
'What is he doing here? And whose is that grave? I didn't know he has someone to visit here. Maybe is a former subordinate of his? Or and old acquaintance of the Shinsengumi? Why hasn't he noticed me? What do I do? Wait, what's this? Why am I even fretting? Gods, Kagura, pull yourself together!'
Shaking her head, she closed the distance between them and did the most Kagura thing she came up with. She squatted beside him and elbowed his ribs to get his attention. He jolted and turned his head, looking at her as if she were a ghost. His red eyes were unfocused at first, filled with surprise and reflecting the rain, making them look more red than they should. They were also clouded, like the leaden sky above them, and then he squinted, hardening his gaze. She suppressed a shiver. There were drops of water falling down his bangs to his nose and then to the floor. He was soaking wet, but he didn't seem to care. Averting her gaze, she looked shamelessly to the stone, finding white lilies adorning it and a sole name engraved.
Okita Mitsuba
Kagura stared dumbfounded at the name, trying to process the information.
'O-Okita? Wha-what?'
She had never heard about the sadist having people close to him, much less a familiar. She had just assumed he... Well, she had wondered sometimes if he had family, but the topic hadn't been brought up and he hadn't talked about it, so she had assumed things were the way they were. She hadn't dwelled on it too much, either. It wasn't her business, after all.
However, seeing this name in front of her changed things. She looked to her right, but his hair covered his face.
"Sadist?"
She left the question unspoken, waiting for him to react. She was starting to feel uncomfortable. He hadn't spoken a word yet, and it wasn't like him not to tease her about anything. After a prolonged silence, in which she proceeded to cover him with her umbrella as well in hopes of alleviating the tension, he sighed and lifted his head to meet her eyes again. He looked tired and something sparked in his eyes. Something she didn't know and didn't like. Not at all. Then, he averted his gaze and mumbled.
"She was my sister." His voice was low and raspy, and Kagura cringed at the way it sounded. It had nothing to do with the husky voice he used to whisper things in her ear more often than not.
And then it hit her.
Sister.
Her eyes grew as big as saucers, and she found herself walking on dangerous ground. Lately she had had no idea how to treat the man next to her. What was she supposed to do now? This last piece of information was completely new and she received it like a punch in the gut. There were too many things to ask. How had their relationship been like? Were they close? Did they get along or were they like a certain pair of siblings she knew too well? When had she passed away? Had he been sad? Had he even been there? Was he sad now?
She felt at a loss for words -again- though, and she couldn't help but to look at him, trying to maintain a calm facade. The one he wore so well had fallen completely apart, and that answered some questions. She recognised then the glint he had seen in his eyes before. He was sad, and he was in pain. She wanted to scream and run away, because this was hitting too close to her own heart, and she didn't want to remember the people she loved that were gone. She wouldn't be able to visit Gin's grave today.
While in her inner turmoil Sougo finished his prayers and stood up, heading towards a shrine near the back of the place. Kagura was quick to follow, covering him again from the rain and biting her lip. When they reached it, the roof sheltered them and the girl closed her umbrella. She stood a little away from him, thanking all the gods above when Sadaharu approached them and sat next to her. She buried one hand in her fur and leaned against him, waiting and feeling helpless.
"She was some years older than me." He started slowly, and she observed him out of the corner of her eyes, to let him know she was listening. "She took care of me when I was a child. My parents passed away and she was all I had ever since I could remember." Her heart clenched. "She made sure I didn't feel alone and she used all her force to make me happy. However, she suffered from a lung disease. After I entered Kondou's dojo, she had more free time to take care of herself, but we couldn't bring her with us when we came to Edo. She wanted to, and we wished she could have, but her health didn't permit it. I sent her letters and she would answer to every one of them, saying she was getting better, both physically and mentally. Five years ago she was engaged to a businessman here and she came to visit. In turned out the bastard just wanted to take advantage of her close relationship with the Shinsengumi. In the end, she didn't make it. Boss was there, he helped us. He helped me." His voice was cold, but it didn't waver. "Yet, it didn't change the fact that we left her behind."
He fell silent then, and Kagura listened to the raindrops falling heavily from the sky. She didn't know what to say. Did he even want her to say anything at all?
"I'm going now, I have some business. Bye, China."
It was sudden, but Kagura watched him leave silently, the rain engulfing him for the third time as he walked past the graves. When he disappeared from her sight she turned towards Sadaharu. The hand in his fur had grabbed it and was tugging pretty hard.
"I- Sorry, Sadaharu! I didn't realise..." The dog looked at her questioningly, and she smiled sadly. "We're heading home, sorry. I can't visit Gin-chan right now. C'mon." He followed her dutifully, keeping close to her.
Not long after, she decided she didn't want to come back yet, so she wandered aimlessly around the destroyed city. Sadaharu walked beside her, watching out for her. She was looking down, her gaze fixed on her boots as she placed foot after foot. She was so entranced in her thoughts that she didn't notice the figure walking in the opposite direction, bumping right into it. Sadaharu barked, and she took a few steps back to look up at the stranger's face.
"I'm sor-" Her words died in her throat when she recognised the person standing in front of her. "Mayora? Watch your step!"
"Hello to you, too, China girl. And what kind of attitude change is that? You were the one looking down!" He pulled a cigarette out and tried to light it, but the rain damped it instantly. He didn't have an umbrella neither. "Tch, damn weather."
Kagura regarded him for a few moments and then resumed her walking.
"I don't feel like seeing your mayo addicted face. Bye and die!"
"What the hell! That's the only thing you've learnt from Sougo?"
She stopped at the mention of his name, her cheeks suddenly heating up due to the facts that no, it wasn't the only thing she had learned from him, she was reminded that he actually knew about their relationship and she remembered the previous events in the graveyard. An idea popped into her mind and before giving it a second thought, she spun around to look at the former police officer again.
"Did you know Mitsuba?" She knew it was a stupid and bold question, of course he had known her. He had been living with Kondou and Sougo for a long time, even before they came to Edo. That's what she had heard, at least. But she didn't know another way to approach the topic, so she decided to be blunt about it.
The man's shoulders tensed and his cigarette fell from his mouth, landing on the wet soil. Kagura noticed his eyes grow big, and for the first time, the man in front of her was left speechless. Well, that wasn't what she was expecting.
"Mmm... Mit-Mitsuba, you say?" He choked for some reason, and it only picked Kagura's curiosity more. "Ye- yeah, I knew her. Why are you asking? That was a long time ago." He frowned, regaining his composure.
"I met the sadist at the cemetery before. I didn't know he had a sister."
"I see. It's not like Sougo to talk about her, though I thought he would have told you?" The last part came as a whisper, more like talking to himself than to her. Nonetheless, Kagura heard it.
"What do you mean you thought he would have told me?"
"Hmmm? Ah, nothing. It was nothing. What do you want to know about it?"
Kagura was surprised with the question. It wasn't like Hijikata to talk about those matters neither.
"Well, it's not like I care but, were they close?" Something poked her to ask that question. An image on Kamui flashed across her mind and she grimaced.
Hijikata smiled softly, and Kagura discovered yet another face she had never seen before.
"Yes, they were. Mitsuba was like a mother to him, and he treasured her like the most important thing. He was a completely different person around her. He smiled, laughed and bought her presents. After she passed away, Sougo didn't talk about it with anyone. I don't think he has yet. I know he blames himself for what happened. He thinks we left her behind but, more than anything else, that he left her behind."
Kagura listened intently as the pieces connected in her head. Some things about Sougo were starting to make more sense now. His coldness and aloof demeanor had more to it than it seemed.
"You know, if you're that close to him," Kagura eyes narrowed threateningly and Hijikata raised his hands in defense "you should try to talk with him. He might vent it out with you."
"That's none of your business." She didn't point out that their relationship was supposedly about that. However, while Hijikata was more likely referring to talking, they always ended up involved in more physical matters.
"Yeah, whatever, I have things to take care of. See you around." He lifted one hand to bid her farewell and left.
Kagura turned around and resumed her walk as well. It had been a long morning, and it hadn't been even two hours since she left Yoshiwara.
After some more time wandering, her feet took her to the cemetery again, and she realised she hadn't paid her respects to the woman that had occupied her mind the whole time. Making her way towards the grave and praying for Gin not to get too mad at her, she kneeled with respect before the stone, her umbrella against it as she clasped her hands.
'Good morning, Mitsuba-san. My name is Kagura and I'm... I'm Sougo's friend. I think he's doing fine. Well, as fine as these times allow us. I will make sure to take care of him. But he's strong, so he doesn't really need that much protection.
I have also talked with Hijikata about you. The truth is I didn't know who you were, so I hope you don't mind I asked him about it. I hope you're doing well, too, wherever you are. I will come to visit again. Until then, rest in peace.'
She stood up and picked up the umbrella again.
"Let's go Sadaharu, I'm starting to get sleepy and I need to change into dry clothes. I'm gonna catch a cold."
She decided it had been more than enough for one morning.
