Chapter Six: A New Dynamic: After School

The four sat around the dinner table. They were eating take out that night, pizza and garlic knots. They hadn't completely unpacked yet, so it was easier to just order out. The pizza was good, but Simon still thought Sam's cooking was better. Sam and Simon were both quiet at first, neither sure they wanted to say anything. Erik and Amanda looked at them occasionally, hoping they would talk first. When they didn't, Erik spoke up.

"So, Sammy… How did school go for you today?" The father asked softly. He knew Sam startled easily, so he was trying to keep his voice down and enjoying modest success. He had a very deep chest, so his voice tended to be loud, even when he wasn't yelling. So his normal was practically a whisper for him.
"Nothing really to report. I got my guitar back from this girl named Luna Loud and she invited me to her rock club meeting." Sam muttered, exhausted from her day.

"Oh. What is Luna like?" Amanda asked.
"She's nice. Really friendly and cheerful and cool. She and her friends, George and Ruth want me to be in their band. It's nice of them to try to include me. They said they were impressed by me playing the 12 string with my fingers. But I dunno. I've never really played an electric guitar before and I like Classic Rock, but I don't know if I have enough talent to measure up to their standards.

"They really want me in the band though. And I like them. They've been really nice to me. It would be rude of me to say no after the amazing welcome they gave me." Amanda smiled. She could tell how happy Sam was that she had made friends so quickly. Sam was an interesting girl. She was a little bit shy when it came to new people. It was probably because she spent most of her life taking care of Simon rather than going out with friends and just being a kid.

Amanda blamed herself for that. But Sam was also extremely charming and kind and gentle and people loved how sincere and kind Sam was. She had a charm about her that people gravitated to. It didn't surprise Amanda that Sam had made friends so quickly or that they were charmed by her, or that they were impressed by her skill. She was very talented and intelligent.

"How were your classes? I'm glad you enjoyed making some new friends, but what about your classes?" Erik asked. Sam sighed.

"Most of them were pretty great. My math teacher, Mr. Ryan is weird. Good weird. It's like he's on a different plane from most teachers. He said something about having Ideasthesia, and that he associates numbers with colors and that's why he can write Pi out past 100 digits.

"We have a test this Friday that's gonna have an extra credit question. 1 extra point for every 5 digits of Pi we can write. He says we shouldn't obsess over the extra credit because it won't help if we don't know the basic material." Sam said.

"Very nice. What about your other classes?" Amanda asked.

"Well… They're all pretty cool. Sam talked about her classes, and what she was learning in each one. That lasted about ten minutes before…

"What about you, Simon? How was your first day?" Erik asked.

"I made a new friend. His name is Gil. I defended Gil from some bullies. He's a little bit different. He didn't know where Ohio was. But he's crazy smart in other things. He's really good at piano. He told me everything about piano from the mechanics of one to how he converted rock songs to piano songs in his spare time.

"He's a little slow in some ways. He said something about Aw-tism…" Simon said, sounding it out.
"I don't know what that is, but he said that he didn't feel like he belonged in a public school and that he wished he could just be schooled at home or go to a special school for people like him. I told him that was bullshit, and that he belonged here as much as any of us. I guess he doesn't really do too well in his classes, but he's really cool." Simon shrugged.

"How were your classes?" Simon shrugged.

"They were alright. We're learning about the Civil War in History class. Apparently, it wasn't all about slavery. I mean, it was partially about slavery. But not completely." Simon said.

"And gym class, I met a girl named Hattie who had a really strong southern accent. She was kind of pretty. We're sort of friends now.

"I made some friends at lunch. Sebastian, Gabby and Sascha. They're really cool, and I had fun talking to them. Recess was okay. I really just wanted to be left alone, but that kid I told you about, Gil… He was being bullied. I couldn't just let that go. The leader of them… Jeez, what was his name? Oz. He seemed pretty smart, but the other two had about the combined intelligence of a wooden board.

I made a new friend. I'm hoping that I can learn more about Oz. He's really cool and he's pretty shy. But I think he likes me. It was good to make some friends. Erik sighed. He was glad Simon had a good first day as well.

"How was your first day at your new job?" Sam asked. Erik smiled.

"It went really well. I met my work crew. John, Robert, Luis, Ismael, Samuel, Joaquin. Luis and Ismael are brothers and Samuel, and Joaquin are their cousins. There's Rosaria. She's young, only 23, and strong as an ox.

Amanda chuckled. Erik had always had an eye for strong women. Amanda had been into gymnastics and soccer when she was in college when they first met. She was hardly muscular, but she was stronger than the average woman. She'd lost a lot of that physical strength, but she was still above average for a woman her age, thanks to her career as a nurse. She could lift a heavy patient with effort and sometimes with assistance.

"What are your new subordinates like?" Simon asked. Erik sighed.

"I don't really consider them my subordinates. They're my crew, but I'd like them to also be my coworkers. They're really cool. Luis, Ismael, Samuel, Joaquin and Rosaria are incredibly hard workers. Between them, they're between the ages of 23 and 30, and they've all been working since they were 15 or 16. Rosie has been working since she was 14.

"They speak mostly Spanish, so I don't entirely understand what they're saying when they talk, but I gathered that they came from Honduras, except Rosaria. She came from Guatemala."
"So most of your crew are illegals?" Sam asked. Erik sighed.

"I'm not sure about that. They all at least have their Green Cards to work here, otherwise they couldn't have been hired by the company I work for." Erik said

"Do you speak any Spanish, Dad?" Simon asked. Erik nodded.

"A little bit. I took Spanish in school and I haven't completely forgotten my lessons. I'm hardly as good now as I was when I was 18. But I'm good enough to get the gist of what they say. They speak more Spanish than English and I'm sure after a while with them, I'll start picking up more of the language." Erik said.

"What project are you working on now?" Simon asked. He never really wanted to go into construction, but he respected his father for getting back on his feet, even if he didn't really like him. It was a lot of years of dislike and contempt to just overwrite like that. But Simon at least respected that his father was trying.

"What about you, Mom?" Sam asked. Amanda smiled.

"Well, I'm the head nurse now, so I met my staff. I learned a little bit about them from working with them. There's a very nice woman named Maria. She has a daughter about Simon's age and a son who I want to say is 15. She's been working there for a while, so she's helping me get settled." Amanda said.

"Oh. That's interesting. Is she older than you? Younger?" Sam asked.

"Well…" Amanda laughed. "I didn't ask how old she was, but I think she's about the same age. She's actually got family in the same city we came from. She asked if we knew them. We don't. Their name is Casagrande and they're a pretty big extended family and they own a small store down below their apartment." Amanda said. Sam nodded.

"Does her husband work at the hospital too?" Sam asked. Amanda sighed.

"I don't think so. I'm pretty sure she and her husband are legally separated. It's complicated. She didn't specifically say they were. But she said that he was in Peru. He is a doctor, but he's doing charity work down there. I don't really know her well enough yet to go into that kind of conversation with her." Amanda said.

"What are your other coworkers like?" Simon asked. Amanda talked a bit about the doctors, nurses and aides on the floor and how she was getting along with them. It was a good dinner, and despite Sam's depression, Sam enjoyed talking about this. Talking about anything other than her fears helped her get through it.

"Sammy, you have a therapy appointment after school tomorrow. A woman named Doctor Lopez. I've been asking around a bit and they say she's very good with young people who've been traumatized." Amanda said gently. Sam nodded. The blonde girl went up and went to bed early. She wasn't in the mood to talk. Simon followed her upstairs.

"Um… Sammy… Can you and I hang out for a while? I'm doing a painting of you for art class and I'd like to take some pictures so I have something to go by."
"No." Sam said. Her voice wasn't mean. It just sounded cold. Simon was hurt by how suddenly Sam had turned to ice like that.

"Simon, I don't want you painting me. I- Just leave me alone. You couldn't even cut my hair right. You made it way too short." Sam said bitterly. She wasn't really angry at Simon. He was just an easy target right now and she was angry and upset in general. Simon sighed and went upstairs as well, locking himself in his room, ripping the Band-Aid off his face.

He remembered that fight. It was when he first failed Sam. When he had first proven. To himself. To her. What a pathetic loser he was. He stared at the cut on his face. The day he had watched those savages try to cut her hair… He had taken some serious blows to the head. He didn't really remember that day too well. But he remembered his failure all too well. He was supposed to be Sam's hero. No wonder she didn't love him anymore.

He scratched idly at the cut. He had kept scratching at it. He'd kept deepening it so it wouldn't heal. He figured one day he would forget about it and let it scar over. But that day wasn't today. He still had penance to do. He still owed Sam a serious debt as it was obvious to him that she hadn't forgiven him for his failure. He would have ripped his entire face off for her if that would make her love him again. But for now, he just picked and picked.

He felt blood on his wound as he continued to jab, poke and rip at the wound, making sure it wouldn't heal. He looked in the vanity mirror in his room and watched droplets of blood dribble down his cheek and begin to drip onto his shirt. He dug harder. This wasn't enough. The pain he felt wasn't enough. There had to be proof of his weakness forever. He could never allow himself to forget how he betrayed Sam. How he had failed her.

He shrieked when there was a knock on his door.

"Simon? Sweetie? Is everything alright?" Amanda asked.

"B-busy, Mom!" Simon shouted. Amanda nodded.

"Well, come out when you're done." She said. Simon agreed and grimaced, continuing to pick at what had just recently turned into a scab but was now bleeding in earnest again.

-0-

"What is it, Mom? Dad?" Simon asked. Amanda had Simon sit down.

"Simon… What happened with Sam earlier wasn't your fault. It's really sweet that you want to paint Sam and I think you should continue to paint her if that's what makes you happy." Amanda said.

"Nothing makes me happy anymore." Simon said angrily.

"I'm going to bed." Simon growled, brushing his teeth and getting in bed, falling asleep quickly. He didn't sleep well. He had nightmares. The same shadow showed up in his dream. It had been a while since he'd seen it. He gasped as the shadow smirked maliciously at him, its eyes lighting up a horrible glowing electric blue. It seemed not to walk, but glide over the ground towards him.

"You screwed up, you know." The shadow said cruelly, its smirk widening.

"Why would you think that she would ever love or trust you again after what you did to her? Saoirse and her allies hurt her so badly and it's all your fault. You weren't strong enough to save her. No wonder she hates you. No wonder she's disgusted by a little fuck up like you!"

"No! It's not my fault! It's her fault!"

"That's right. It is her fault. If she wasn't such a freak, none of this would have happened in the first place… Right? If she hadn't fallen in love with a girl, everything would have been fine. She would never have gotten hurt and you never would have had to leave your friends. Right?" The voice asked, a malicious glee filling its voice.

"No! No! That's not true! It's nobody's fault! Sammy can't help who she falls in love with!" Simon pleaded, more trying to confirm it to himself than to the Shadow.

"I can tell you don't really believe that." The Shadow said.

"You hate Sammy and Sammy hates you. You don't have to support her. She doesn't deserve your support. Do you think she'd support you if you turned out to be gay?

"What if you fell for Alric? Do you think Sam would support you? If the answer is 'I don't know', then maybe your loyalty is with the wrong person. That Gil kid seems like he'd be a good new sidekick for you. He seems eager to please. He'd probably give you all the support you want… God knows you don't deserve it, but he seems like he doesn't have the best judgment on that front.

"Or maybe you'll do everyone a favor and just disappear from their lives. Just disappear and never come back. Do the right thing for Sammy for once in your life. She always deserved better than you." The Shadow said. "And you never deserved an angel like her."

-0-

Simon woke up with a start, feeling tears running down his cheeks. He immediately leapt out of bed, trying to keep his breathing steady. The Shadow was right. No. The Shadow had always been right. He didn't deserve someone as amazing as Sam. He didn't deserve any of what he'd had his whole life. He packed some clothes and left. It was around 2 in the morning. He couldn't bother anyone saying goodbye. But he wrote a note to Sam and left it next to her bed, kissing her goodbye one last time.

He kissed her and said that he loved her, trying to keep himself steady through his tears. He walked out the door, sighing as he set out with a backpack and his phone.